Well, we made it through August, but we have a prospect of an octochamp on the first day back to work or school for some. If he becomes an octochamp, he'll create more spaces for contestants, much like George Osborne.
DT: Champion Dave Taylor (7 wins, 616 points.)
RW: Challenger Richard White.
DC: Susie Dent and John Inverdale.
RR: Rachel Riley.
OT: Other words or solutions.
DOM: Darren-o-meter
DC Max: If the studio could not have been beaten.
I have been contractually obliged to say that "RW" is not Richard Whiteley or any relation - he is a namesake without the "ley" on the end.
R01: S O N B E R U V I
R02: P T M E A P G O E
R03: D A R E M C O S E
R04: I H W N O E M O S
R05: 100, 6, 10, 7, 5, 2. Target: 122.
TTT: ISNTLOVE - "Like Brown and Green, you'll want to be Red."
R06: G R F A E R T U A
R07: N I R S E C J A H
R08: T I G O R T E A K
R09: Y I B M E L A S I
R10: 25, 100, 8, 7, 2, 8. Target: 785.
TTT: AIMMERIT - "Set a date to get wed at sea."
R11: N O T X E N I D T
R12: A E L R S D I S U
R13: G A D P O R U L O
R14: 25, 50, 5, 7, 10, 8. Target: 869.
R15: A P R I C O T T I (conundrum)
And now a brief interlude before our main feature:
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Jeff's prologue: Internet dating sites.
Round 1: S O N B E R U V ITry this chat-up line: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.
DT: BORNE (5)
RW: VERSION (7)
DC: SOUVENIR (8)
OT: BOUVIERS (8) BRUNOISE (8)
DOM: 0
Score: 0–7 (max 8, DC Max 8)
Well, well, well. Back to the show. Richard's VERSION of events puts him in the lead with it! Dave has to have a deficit reduction strategy, as the government do.
Round 2: P T M E A P G O E
DT: POTAGE (6)
RW: APOGEE (6)
DC: GOATEE (6)
OT: GAMETE (6) METAGE (6) METOPE (6) MOPPET (6) PEGTOP (6)
DOM: 0
Score: 6–13 (max 14, DC Max 14)
F
L
A
T
Round 3: D A R E M C O S E
DT: SCREAMED (8)
RW: SCREAMED (8)
DC: COMRADES (8)
OT: MERCADOS (8) RACEMOSE (8)
DOM: 0
Score: 14–21 (max 22, DC Max 22)
Still 7 behind, Dave! Your strategy isn't working. Try changing it...
Round 4: I H W N O E M O S
DT: HOMIES (6)
RW: SHONE (5)
DC: SOMEHOW (7) WINSOME (7)
OT: NOISOME (7) SHOWMEN (7)
DOM: 0
Score: 20–21 (max 29, DC Max 29)
It worked, but he's just one point behind now. And one point could be the difference between winning and losing.**
Round 5: 100, 6, 10, 7, 5, 2. Target: 122.
DT: 122. (7 - 5) x 10 + 100 + 2 (10)
RW: 122. 100 + 7 + 5 + 10 (10)
DOM: 0
Score: 30–31 (max 39, DC Max 39)
Dave should be a door-to-door salesman if he's going round all the houses like that.
John's interlude: He knows a man who has 1,455 body rings in him. Fact. No anaesthetic.
Teatime teaser: ISNTLOVE -> Like Brown & Green, you'll want to be Red.
Answer: NOVELIST - Who on EARTH sets those clues? I've never heard of those authors!***
Round 6: G R F A E R T U A
DT: GARRET (6)
RW: GRAFTER (7)
DOM: 1
Score: 30–38 (max 46, DC Max 46)
Darren pops in to say hello, as the deficit reduction strategy was only short-term, unlike the government...
Round 7: N I R S E C J A H
DT: CASHIER (7)
RW: CHAIRS (6)
OT: INARCHES (8)
DOM: 2
Score: 37–38 (max 54, DC Max 53)
Darren stays for a bit, but Dave's strategy must have changed again...
Round 8: T I G O R T E A K
DT: GAROTTE (7)
RW: TIGER (5)
DOM: 3
Score: 44–38 (max 61, DC Max 60)
3 consecutive Darrens mean that he's still hiding in the studio somewhere, but the polls rise in Dave's favour.
Round 9: Y I B M E L A S I
DT: measily
RW: BLAMES (6)
DC: BAILEYS (7)
OT: ABLEISM (7) BAILIES (7)
DOM: 3
Score: 44–44 (max 68, DC Max 67)
Darren is shoved out of the studio and maybe the Darrens were lucky for Dave, because the polls are now on 325 seats apiece.
Susie's interlude: She rambles on about her favourite summer words.
Round 10: 25, 100, 8, 7, 2, 8. Target: 785.
DT: 785. (8 x 100) - (25 - (8 + 2)) (10)
RW: 785. 8 x 100 - (8 + 7) (10)
Score: 54–54 (max 78, DC Max 77)
No change in the polls despite excessive campaigning by Dave.
Teatime teaser: AIMMERIT -> Set a date to get wed at sea.
Answer: MARITIME
At least I understood that one.
Round 11: N O T X E N I D T
DT: INTONED (7)
RW: TINTED (6)
OT: TONTINE (7)
DOM: 3
Score: 61–54 (max 85, DC Max 84)
Dave's strategy no longer relies on Darren, who is the acting Eurozone
and the swingometer swings towards the left/right (delete as appropriate).Round 12: A E L R S D I S U
DT: AIRLESS (7)
RW: ASSURED (7)
DC: SLIDERS (7) RESIDUALS (18)
DOM: 4
Score: 68–61 (max 103, DC Max 102)
Darren makes a cameo but the polls stay the same.
Round 13: G A D P O R U L O
DT: PROD (4)
RW: POLAR (5)
DC: GOURD (5)
OT: DOLOUR (6) GOPURA (6) LAPDOG (6) RUGOLA (6) UPLOAD (6) UROPOD (6)
DOM: 4
Score: 68–66 (max 109, DC Max 107)
Now Labour/the Conservatives (delete as appropriate) are trying to make up ground...
Round 14: 25, 50, 5, 7, 10, 8. Target: 869.
DT: 870. (50 + 25 + 7 + 5) x 10 (7)
RW: 867.
RR: 869. (25 x 5 - 8) x 7 + 50 (10)
Score: 75–66 (max 119, DC Max 117)
...but it's very unlikely...
Round 15: A P R I C O T T I
No one buzzes. The answer was PATRIOTIC.
Final Score: 75–66 (max 129)
...and the 650th seat is won by a minor party (an audience member), meaning that the Labour Party/Conservatives (delete as appropriate) have entered the House of Commons and Dave Taylor is preparing to enter Downing Street now...
Then Jeff suggests brandishing the teapot when he watches the football matches in future (Dave's a Sunderland fan).
**Editors' note: No, it can't actually. It would take it to a tie-break conundrum.
***OK, I don't do cryptic crosswords.
STATS STATS STATS:
Dave Taylor.
8 wins
691 points.
3rd seed at the moment.
Tomorrow's recap: Mike Brown.
So from me and the dancing man, it's goodnight on this historic election.
Further summaries are at:
http://www.apterous.org/cdb/series.php?series=65
