c4countdown

Some questions:

Why does the judge on Masterchef speak so loud and why is he so angry?

Why would Peter Jones lower himself to those cringeworthy money supermarket ads when he's already a multi-millionaire?

And why don't you see white dogshit anymore?

Chris Corby wrote:Sue

..... join the Swinging Heaven website where true love flows in abundance.

Thanks for the advise Chris, but I don't like to go back over old ground.

Ian Volante wrote:

Chris Corby wrote:Kirk should be dumped if he has used the "I would like two from the top and one from the bottom" line on you

Surely that's better than "I would like two from the top and two from the bottom"?

The trainspotting thing does lead to a certain fascination with tunnels.

Matthew Green wrote:Some questions:

And why don't you see white dogshit anymore?

They reduced the calcium content of dog food

Next.

Matthew Green wrote:Some questions:

Why does the judge on Masterchef speak so loud and why is he so angry?

He's a twat (I don't watch Masterchef but I imagine he is).

Why would Peter Jones lower himself to those cringeworthy money supermarket ads when he's already a multi-millionaire?

He's a twat (definitely).

And why don't you see white dogshit anymore?

There's just not the market for it.

I disagree - there a huge nostalgia for white dogshit and I think it's the right time for a relaunch.

Sue Sanders wrote:I disagree - there a huge nostalgia for white dogshit and I think it's the right time for a relaunch.

But don't you remember how deceptive that stuff was? It looked like it had petrified and ought to be solid. But that was just the crust concealing a ripe, gloopy interior with just the right viscosity to adhere thoroughly to one's shoe.

Sue Sanders wrote:I disagree - there a huge nostalgia for white dogshit and I think it's the right time for a relaunch.

I saw some earlier this year. I think it's mainly that people don't feed their dogs bones any more.

There are a mere 27,400 Google hits for "white dog shit".

I suspect that there are two types of WDS - the stuff caused by complete dessication of normal dog shit, and the stuff produced by dogs who have eaten bones, though I haven't got any prima faecie evidence for this. Sorry, crap pun.

Why is it you can glance over your c4c post a few times while you are writing it, but only ever notice the typo once someone else has replied?

Okay, that's a bit of a narrow question for always wanted answered.

Is that thing about not using the train loo in the station really because it just empties straight onto the tracks.....George?

Sue Sanders wrote:Is that thing about not using the train loo in the station really because it just empties straight onto the tracks.....George?

That doesn't apply anymore, since the replacement of basic toilets with chemical ones. Flush whenever the fancy takes you.

Alec Rivers wrote:

Sue Sanders wrote:Is that thing about not using the train loo in the station really because it just empties straight onto the tracks.....George?

That doesn't apply anymore, since the replacement of basic toilets with chemical ones. Flush whenever the fancy takes you.

Ooh, ta Alec - I'd forgotten your train connection. So the signs that you still occasionally see are the staff just joshing with us? Like when an eye surgeon tells your nan he'll be taking her eye out, cleaning it and then popping it back in the socket!

Sue Sanders wrote:

Alec Rivers wrote:

Sue Sanders wrote:Is that thing about not using the train loo in the station really because it just empties straight onto the tracks.....George?

That doesn't apply anymore, since the replacement of basic toilets with chemical ones. Flush whenever the fancy takes you.

Ooh, ta Alec - I'd forgotten your train connection. So the signs that you still occasionally see are the staff just joshing with us? Like when an eye surgeon tells your nan he'll be taking her eye out, cleaning it and then popping it back in the socket!

Well, unless you're actually visiting some sort of railway museum, I'd say yes. Incidentally, at a museum they'd be particularly perturbed if you took a dump I reckon. lol

For anyone who's always wondered why people say "PIN number" when the "N" already stands for number, just ask David Arthur Griffiths Griffiths.

Trains still do dump their contents on the tracks, particularly high speed services. You see the spray of the toilet being flushed as trains fly through Doncaster station for example.

Kirk Bevins wrote:Trains still do dump their contents on the tracks, particularly high speed services. You see the spray of the toilet being flushed as trains fly through Doncaster station for example.

I'm amazed to hear that. It sounds so primitive!

What about the trains of thought which give c4c its track of toilet humour?

Kirk Bevins wrote:Trains still do dump their contents on the tracks, particularly high speed services. You see the spray of the toilet being flushed as trains fly through Doncaster station for example.

They mainly use Doncaster as the smell won't be noticed there.

Kirk Bevins wrote:Trains still do dump their contents on the tracks, particularly high speed services. You see the spray of the toilet being flushed as trains fly through Doncaster station for example.

Which makes the whole thing about not flushing in a station pointless! People don't necessarily know if they're passing through a station (and it's not stopping), and if anything this would be worse than when it's stationary as all the shit travelling at 70mph might "bounce" back up towards the platform!

My main memory of Essex is a huge trail of shitty bog roll in the airport station.

I've not been there very often.

Actually, that's unfair, I went to a wedding reception in Southend once too.

How do they get the 'Keep off the Grass' signs there?

Derek Hazell wrote:For anyone who's always wondered why people say "PIN number" when the "N" already stands for number, just ask David Arthur Griffiths Griffiths.

Probably because they use an ATM machine

If you get scared half to death twice, do you die?

If you cut a sandwich in half do you get two sandwiches or two halves of a sandwich?

Matt Morrison wrote:If you cut a sandwich in half do you get two sandwiches or two halves of a sandwich?

Yes.

Matt Morrison wrote:If you cut a sandwich in half do you get two sandwiches or two halves of a sandwich?

You'd get a round.

Sue Sanders wrote:

Matt Morrison wrote:If you cut a sandwich in half do you get two sandwiches or two halves of a sandwich?

You'd get a round.

I heard you get around too. LAWLLLLLLL!

Edit: Sorry Sue, that was sub-Derek Hazell standard humour.
Edit edit:

Sue Sanders wrote:You'd get a round.

a round to reading this thread?

Edit: I see what you mean.

Charlie Reams wrote:

Sue Sanders wrote:

Matt Morrison wrote:If you cut a sandwich in half do you get two sandwiches or two halves of a sandwich?

You'd get a round.

I heard you get around too. LAWLLLLLLL!

Edit: Sorry Sue, that was sub-Derek Hazell standard humour.
Edit edit:

Ha ha - I posted it as a feed line. Well done for avoiding the more tedious 'mine's a pint' reposte!

I need a round. A round tuit. I'll get so much stuff done once I get a round tuit.

(BTW, it's 'riposte'. Sorry for being picky.)

Derek Hazell wrote:

Sue Sanders wrote:You'd get a round.

a round to reading this thread?

Edit: I see what you mean.

I've just read the whole of the Sandwich thread - Blimey!! I'm sticking with two slices of bread, regardless of how many times it's cut in half, being a 'round'. It works for everything. Even those triple pack, cos that's a round and a half. Sometimes my mum make my dad a sandwich for supper and offers me a quarter of his round, so I know exactly what I'm getting - which I wouldn't if mum said do you want one of dad's sandwiches.

I'm amazed at the fierce loyalty to the triangle sandwich and have had to conclude that, unlike me, people tend not to eat the crusts off first (eat not cut). For this, the complete (uncut) round or the half round rectangle (square if cutting a round into 4) is infinitely better, as a triangle sandwich is liable to spill contents from the pointy bits. But leaving the centre of the sandwich to eat til last is an infinitely more satisfying experience. Sometimes I take filling from one and put it in the one I'm going to eat last - to built up to the pleasure of 'extra yum'. I don't have OCD - but I do enjoy a sandwich. Oh, in answer to Phil's 'sand-witch' or sand-widge', I too plump for the rather lazy 'samwidge'. But I make up for my laziness by putting an unnecessary, time consuming 'p' in hamster.
Oops -I've sort of gone all sandwichy in an inappropriate thread. Alert -DO NOT REPLY TO THIS POST HERE - Assuming you've something to say but it did seem to be a pretty hot topic that must still have some legs. Bugger Philosophy and Religion.

I've copied this into the Sandwich thread.

Why do people spend all their Bank Holidays shopping for things for the home which they are never in because they spend all of their holidays shopping?

Why do all microwave ovens, regardless of make, seem to have turntables that rotate at exactly 5rpm?

I noticed years ago, when I bought my very first microwave, that it took exactly 12 seconds for the turntable to complete one revolution; and used this knowledge when zapping something in a mug, or other container with a handle: I'd programme the oven for, say, 36 seconds rather than 30, as that way I knew that when I opened the door again, the handle would be facing me. Since then, I've owned two more microwaves from different manufacturers - and both have had turntables that rotated at the same speed. And I've found it's also true when using other people's microwaves.

What's so magical about 5rpm? Is it somehow connected to the frequency of domestic AC? I remember shamefully little from Physics O Level about how electric motors work, so there may be a logical reason for this, but I'd be interested to know.

Phil Reynolds wrote:Why do all microwave ovens, regardless of make, seem to have turntables that rotate at exactly 5rpm?

I noticed years ago, when I bought my very first microwave, that it took exactly 12 seconds for the turntable to complete one revolution; and used this knowledge when zapping something in a mug, or other container with a handle: I'd programme the oven for, say, 36 seconds rather than 30, as that way I knew that when I opened the door again, the handle would be facing me. Since then, I've owned two more microwaves from different manufacturers - and both have had turntables that rotated at the same speed. And I've found it's also true when using other people's microwaves.

What's so magical about 5rpm? Is it somehow connected to the frequency of domestic AC? I remember shamefully little from Physics O Level about how electric motors work, so there may be a logical reason for this, but I'd be interested to know.

lol. 36 secs to get the handle in the same place; that's the sort of thing I do, too. I thought it was just me. I'm not a complete nerd after all!

The AC phase of 50Hz wouldn't constrain the platter speed because any gearing can be used to change it. Maybe they determined that it's the optimum speed: slow enough to stop liquids flying out of vessels through centrifugal forces but fast enough to prevent too many hot spots in the food. Not sure on that one. It could just be a manufacturing norm that developed early on, and everyone else just conformed to it. Maybe they all use the same motors and gearing. In the US they might rotate at 6 rpm (their phase is 60Hz).

Alec Rivers wrote:36 secs to get the handle in the same place; that's the sort of thing I do, too. I thought it was just me. I'm not a complete nerd after all

The other possible deduction from those premises is, of course, that we both are.

Why do people listen to the weather forecast, and then spend most of the rest of the day discussing whether it was right or not? Why not just not listen to it?!

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Alec Rivers wrote:36 secs to get the handle in the same place; that's the sort of thing I do, too. I thought it was just me. I'm not a complete nerd after all

The other possible deduction from those premises is, of course, that we both are.

I know, but I just didn't have you down as one, so I couldn't come to that conclusion. (Read: couldn't face coming to that conclusion.)

Alec Rivers wrote:

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Alec Rivers wrote:I'm not a complete nerd after all

The other possible deduction from those premises is, of course, that we both are.

I know, but I just didn't have you down as one

Nerdiness is as nerdiness does:

Crikey. It shows up an autistic trait in me: If I didn't know, I'd have sworn that your avatar and that picture show two different people.

Can someone put another coin in the slot please, so we can get another question from Derek, before the fair moves on to the next town?
Only teasing Derek- they're lovely questions but I feel sure you're in a glass cabinet just next to the bearded lady!

[
That's Phil in his 'Young Tony Robinson' guise.

Alec Rivers wrote:Crikey. It shows up an autistic trait in me: If I didn't know, I'd have sworn that your avatar and that picture show two different people.

Well, they were taken around five years apart, so statistically most of the physical composition of my body will have changed in the interim.

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Alec Rivers wrote:Crikey. It shows up an autistic trait in me: If I didn't know, I'd have sworn that your avatar and that picture show two different people.

Well, they were taken around five years apart, so statistically most of the physical composition of my body will have changed in the interim.

Very true, although I do think that, unlike me, most people would still recognize them as the same person, wouldn't they? Maybe we could have a poll.

Alec Rivers wrote:Very true, although I do think that, unlike me, most people would still recognize them as the same person, wouldn't they? Maybe we could have a poll.

My other half, who is neither a blindy nor (as far as I know) any sort of autistic, thinks they look very different.

Michael Wallace wrote:

Alec Rivers wrote:Very true, although I do think that, unlike me, most people would still recognize them as the same person, wouldn't they? Maybe we could have a poll.

My other half, who is neither a blindy nor (as far as I know) any sort of autistic, thinks they look very different.

Ta, that's good to know.

Alec Rivers wrote:

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Alec Rivers wrote:Crikey. It shows up an autistic trait in me: If I didn't know, I'd have sworn that your avatar and that picture show two different people.

Well, they were taken around five years apart, so statistically most of the physical composition of my body will have changed in the interim.

Very true, although I do think that, unlike me, most people would still recognize them as the same person, wouldn't they? Maybe we could have a poll.

My ex was much confused by the storyline of the film 'A River Runs Through It', not realising than John Malkovic, and John Malkovic in a hat were not two different characters. He wasn't autistic, it's just the hat had a very charismatic personality.

p.s. Every new pic I see of Phil makes me think, blimey, wouldn't have recognised him. He must be one of those 'rubber-faced' actors!

Sue Sanders wrote:Every new pic I see of Phil makes me think, blimey, wouldn't have recognised him. He must be one of those 'rubber-faced' actors!

You might get a kick out of this. (I do.)

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Sue Sanders wrote:Every new pic I see of Phil makes me think, blimey, wouldn't have recognised him. He must be one of those 'rubber-faced' actors!

You might get a kick out of this. (I do.)

Corky O'Rorky. 'Rubber-headed' actor!

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Sue Sanders wrote:Every new pic I see of Phil makes me think, blimey, wouldn't have recognised him. He must be one of those 'rubber-faced' actors!

You might get a kick out of this. (I do.)

I like this one:

Harrumph. Yeah, well. On the plus side, I did learn some choice Arabic swear words for that part. Oh, and I also met my other half while playing it.

Contrary to how it might look, I wasn't actually taking the mickey. I found it amusing in a good way.

How do traffic wardens go about their job? If they're checking a road that has a time limit, during their first sweep of it do they write down all the reg no's of all the cars parked there? If they then return an hour later say, do they look for new cars and write down their numbers. Those cars that have gone, do they still keep their number in case they break the 'no return in (X) hours' rule? Seems like a bit of a minefield to me and I think I must be missing something. I know these days they carry some sort of handheld transmitting devise but I don't ever see them slowly walking down a road recording all the parked cars on it.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere has the knitted character been this week

Marc Meakin wrote:wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere has the knitted character been this week

Not telling, because I've already entered the competition

Jon Corby wrote:

Marc Meakin wrote:wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere has the knitted character been this week

Not telling, because I've already entered the competition

It's already been told on here. That's how I entered

Matt Morrison wrote:

Jon Corby wrote:

Marc Meakin wrote:wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere has the knitted character been this week

Not telling, because I've already entered the competition

It's already been told on here. That's how I entered

Why can't you refreeze stuff that's defrosted?

Why can't you reheat something more than once?

Gavin Chipper wrote:Why can't you refreeze stuff that's defrosted?

IIRC from GCSE Biology, once the bacteria start growing, they can emit toxins which won't be destroyed by freezing/heating.