Dickheads

[Derek Hazell]

This group has its fair share of dickheads - of which I surely must be one - so I thought it was about time we had a poll and got our issues out in the open.

[Jon Corby]

Stilgoe!

Closely followed by Briers and Dawkins. Oh, and Brittain (not the Ross County footballer) of course.

[Ben Hunter]

It was a toss up between Dawkins and Pryor, but I went for Dawkins based on the effect his writing has had on my life.

[Sue Sanders]

You baulked at the 'jam poll,' then Dez? Mine's twice nightly by the way, but I'd have been torn if Richard Beckinsale had been there.

[Jon Corby]

I'm surprised we have two fans of your penis so far, Derek.

[Derek Hazell]

You baulked at the 'jam poll,' then Dez? Mine's twice nightly by the way, but I'd have been torn if Richard Beckinsale had been there.

Yeah, I don't want people being put off of my event even more by your novel sandwich suggestions! I was probably also a dickhead to think my idea would be a success though.

I'm surprised we have two fans of your penis so far, Derek.

Loll-Llol! I hadn't realized it could be read as my penis . . . but at least they like something of mine!

[Richard Brittain]

I did vote for myself, not because I love myself, but because I felt it was the correct thing to do.

[Sue Sanders]

I did vote for myself, not because I love myself, but because I felt it was the correct thing to do.

Derek will feel that that is only right and proper (and I know that on account of the fact that I 'channel' him.)

[Martin Smith]

I couldn't resist the temptation to vote for the Ross County footballer, but my real answer would probably be Dickie Bird. Bonus point for anyone who knows his real name without looking it up on Wikipedia.

[Jon Corby]

I couldn't resist the temptation to vote for the Ross County footballer, but my real answer would probably be Dickie Bird. Bonus point for anyone who knows his real name without looking it up on Wikipedia.

Richard Bird?

[Clive Brooker]

I couldn't resist the temptation to vote for the Ross County footballer, but my real answer would probably be Dickie Bird. Bonus point for anyone who knows his real name without looking it up on Wikipedia.

IIRC he's H D Bird. I'm pretty sure H stands for Harold, but I don't know about the D. My guess is that "Dickie" is purely a nickname.

[Liam Tiernan]

I couldn't resist the temptation to vote for the Ross County footballer, but my real answer would probably be Dickie Bird. Bonus point for anyone who knows his real name without looking it up on Wikipedia.

Richard Bird?

Surely no parent would do that to a child?
Edit: On second thought, I went to school with a girl named Orla Sex

[Derek Hazell]

Well, I think we can safely say that our own Richard Brittain is the winner of this poll now.

So, I hereby crown him King Richard IV, along with the subsidiary title Duke of Dickheads. As there has never been a Richard IV in real life, this seems appropriate. Apparently there was one in BlackAdder, and he was played by Brian Blessed. He is famous for his beard, and Richard sometimes wears a beard too, so that also seems appropriate. I am not going to think about whether the Dickheads title is appropriate or not.

So, now these forums have an overall boss (a PM if you like), a Chairman, some Legends, some Administrators, and a King. RB will take on all the usual rôles of a monarch, such as swearing in new leaders, putting his crest on his favourite things, and looking good in his big shiny crown.

tl;dr/that is all.