c4countdown

I used to shave my armpits.

I sometimes actually socialise.

I used to collect X-Files trading cards.

I'm scared of bubbles.

I'm fascinated by diggers.

I snogged a girl at an office Christmas party in 1981.

I enjoy collecting teddy bears.

I am actually Jason Larsen. He is a fictional character I created using my other email account and all you suckers fell for it.

I am actually Matthew Green. He is a fictional character I created using my other email account and all you suckers fell for it.

I only use this site to groom Kai and his brother.

Charlie Reams wrote:I used to shave my armpits.

I hoarded some of this shaven hair, and to this day, it is kept in my wallet.



I have false teeth, and im only 17.

I'm a post-op transexual.

Ben Hunter wrote:I'm a post-op transexual.

Which direction?

Kieran Child wrote:I'm scared of bubbles.

marlo, omar, snoop in particular. but bubbles?

David Williams wrote:

Kieran Child wrote:I'm scared of bubbles.

marlo, omar, snoop in particular. but bubbles?

Another post where I had to resort to Google to get it. I really am living in a different world!

Oh, and despite my shiny coat and seal pup eyes, I live alone.

I have a resting heart rate around 40, which is extremely rare for a woman (quite rare for a man too, but really exceptionally freakish for a woman).

Jennifer Turner wrote:I have a resting heart rate around 40, which is extremely rare for a woman (quite rare for a man too, but really exceptionally freakish for a woman).

Ever tried professional cycling? Miguel Indurain won Le Tour five times with a resting heart rate of that order

I was born 3 months premature!

I can do artificial insemination on cows (though I'm a bit rusty these days).

Brian Moore wrote:though I'm a bit rusty these days

...which is why all the cows round your way are an attractive reddish-brown.

I sometimes secretly look in on the forum at c4countdown.

Kieran Child wrote:I'm scared of bubbles.

I'm scared of Michael Jackson

I'm a Justice of the Peace.

My face is itchy.

Matt Morrison wrote:

Ben Hunter wrote:I'm a post-op transexual.

Which direction?

Both.

For several years we kept a colony of guineapigs running wild in our garden.

My youngest son was not conceived in the traditional manner.


But don't tell him (he doesn't know....)

Chris Corby wrote:My youngest son was not conceived in the traditional manner.


But don't tell him (he doesn't know....)

Is he the exception that proves the "Up the bum no babies" rule?

I was once interviewed at home by a Daily Mail journalist about my connection to David Icke.

Phil Reynolds wrote:I was once interviewed at home by a Daily Mail journalist about my connection to David Icke.

Which is?

Marc Meakin wrote:

Phil Reynolds wrote:I was once interviewed at home by a Daily Mail journalist about my connection to David Icke.

Which is?

Tenuous. Those of you old enough to remember when the "DAVID ICKE PROCLAIMS HIMSELF MESSIAH" story first broke may recall one aspect that the press seized on with particularly salacious glee, namely that Icke had taken a disciple: a rather attractive young blonde woman called Deborah Shaw who (reborn as "Mari Shawsun") had moved in with Icke, his wife and family and whom he had declared to be "a daughter of Christ". (I think she eventually had a child with him, though I may be wrong.)

The thing was, although I hadn't seen her for a while, I'd known Debbie Shaw for a couple of years in the late 1980s and worked with her in a local amateur theatre company. I was as gobsmacked as anyone at the revelations in the press, as she'd always seemed to me to be pretty down-to-earth and not remotely bonkers, but there you are. At the time the story broke, I was a press officer for said theatre company, which I guess is how the Mail journalist got hold of me. He rang me at work one day, said they were doing a big feature about the Icke story, looking "sympathetically" at the other people involved and putting their side of the story, usual tabloid doublespeak. Would I be willing to talk about Debbie? I thought it could be a bit of a laugh, and I knew I wasn't in a position to give him any seriously juicy gossip about her, so I said yes.

He turned up at my house the next evening and was a perfect manifestation of the stereotypical old-school sleazy tabloid hack - raincoat, corduroy jacket, bushy moustache, purple-veined face and bulbous nose from drink, reeking of Old Spice, the works. I swear I'm not making this up. He asked me stuff about Debbie for an hour or so, refused my offer of a cup of tea and headed off into the pub across the road to file his report.

When the article appeared in the Mail a couple of weeks later, it was a four-page spread in which my contribution was covered by seven words: "Friends in Warwickshire remember her as unremarkable."

I received no fee.

The following events are all unconnected:

As a pre-teenage trainspotter, I once forgot that I was leaning on a level crossing barrier.

I was reminded ths evening that I once delivered a telegram sent by Brigadier Gerard.

I've tasted my own urine.

Ben Hunter wrote:

Matt Morrison wrote:

Ben Hunter wrote:I'm a post-op transexual.

Which direction?

Both.

Which half did you get done first...top or bottom? Or did you buck the trend and do left side then right side??

Kai Laddiman wrote:I am actually Matthew Green. He is a fictional character I created using my other email account and all you suckers fell for it.

No, Kai, I am Matthew Green.
I pretend to be appalled at the sick and twisted posts 'he' writes in order to throw you off the scent.

Julie T wrote:

Kai Laddiman wrote:I am actually Matthew Green. He is a fictional character I created using my other email account and all you suckers fell for it.

No, Kai, I am Matthew Green.
I pretend to be appalled at the sick and twisted posts 'he' writes in order to throw you off the scent.

I don't think I've ever A-lolled at a Julie T. post before - but that was worth the wait!

I am still married to my first husband, after almost 38 years! Amazing, in this day and age......

Kathleen Batlle wrote:I am still married to my first husband

Does your second husband know?

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Kathleen Batlle wrote:I am still married to my first husband

Does your second husband know?

I couldn't find a second one........

Derek Hazell wrote: I don't think I've ever A-lolled at a Julie T. post before - but that was worth the wait!

ty, Derek!

I did consider not posting it in case it backfired, but glad it was taken in the spirit in which it was intended!

1. I played keyboards with a band at a charity gig in Bob Geldof's back garden (Davington Priory, Faversham) in 1993.

2. I played in four matches at The Emirates Stadium in a charity tournament in May 2008 and, three days later, flew with our veteran team to Madrid where we played a Real Madrid veterans XI. We drew 3-3.

I didn't write Watership Down

Richard Adams wrote:I didn't write Watership Down

Brian Moore wrote:I can do artificial insemination on cows (though I'm a bit rusty these days).

I used to work beside a guy whose dad was an artificial inseminator. He was known locally as " Tam the bull-wankers boy"

Davy Affleck wrote:

Brian Moore wrote:I can do artificial insemination on cows (though I'm a bit rusty these days).

I used to work beside a guy whose dad was an artificial inseminator. He was known locally as " Tam the bull-wankers boy"

I didn't do collection, only delivery. I wish I'd kept my hand in.

Richard Adams wrote:I didn't write Watership Down

Not writing things down is a sign of a disorganised mind. Be sure to make a note of it next time.

Phil Reynolds wrote: Not writing things down is a sign of a disorganised mind.

Proof? I didn't write TOWNEES down and that's because I got it on 29 seconds. I also don't write my phone number down as I have an organised mind and can remember it.

It may have been a joke but it was a shit one.

Kirk Bevins wrote:It may have been a joke but it was a shit one.

That's what I love about this message board - the constructive criticism. I thought it was quite an inspired and original bit of wordplay myself, but there you go.

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Kirk Bevins wrote:It may have been a joke but it was a shit one.

That's what I love about this message board - the constructive criticism. I thought it was quite an inspired and original bit of wordplay myself, but there you go.

It was.

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Richard Adams wrote:I didn't write Watership Down

Not writing things down is a sign of a disorganised mind. Be sure to make a note of it next time.

Yeah, you're risking 18 points there. (Just as well it's not valid.)

Kirk Bevins wrote:

Phil Reynolds wrote: Not writing things down is a sign of a disorganised mind.

Proof? I didn't write TOWNEES down and that's because I got it on 29 seconds. I also don't write my phone number down as I have an organised mind and can remember it.

It may have been a joke but it was a shit one.

Did you definitely get the joke?

I've done the can-can while holding a glass of red wine in each hand. (You've never seen a mess like it )

The Nicaraguan word for 'Yourself' is 'Assfuca'.

Surprised?

Matthew Green wrote:The Nicaraguan word for 'Yourself' is 'Assfuca'.

^citation needed

Rosemary Roberts wrote:

Matthew Green wrote:The Nicaraguan word for 'Yourself' is 'Assfuca'.

^citation needed

Methinks it was a joke

Marc Meakin wrote:

Rosemary Roberts wrote:

Matthew Green wrote:The Nicaraguan word for 'Yourself' is 'Assfuca'.

^citation needed

Methinks it was a joke

No doubt. But that doesn't make it surprising. It would only be surprising if it were true.

Gavin Chipper wrote:
Did you definitely get the joke?

That he didn't write "watership" down. Yes. I only commented because there's been a barrage of correction posts by Reynolds recently and I wanted to throw one back at him. Sorry, Phil. xx

Kirk Bevins wrote:Sorry, Phil. xx

Aww. Thanks Kirk - I'll claim those kisses off you next time we meet.

FTR I enjoyed the joke by Philip "Phil" Reynolds and would definitely considering reading future posts by this gentleman.

I have asymmetrical earlobes.

Due to several operations on said joint, my left knee is about half an inch lower than my right. My wearing shorts terrifies observant children.