c4countdown

JimBentley wrote:it's only a matter of time before [Noel Edmonds] murders someone on Deal Or No Deal, he's just biding his time for a moment when he can make it look like an "accident".

This house proposes that Noel Edmonds is planning to murder someone on Deal Or No Deal.

'Tis more like "how would Noel go about murdering someone and making it look like an accident on DOND?" (I figured there'd be some good ideas kicking about the forum) but I just added the debate society style stuff in case anybody wants to run with the format for future C4C discussions...

Oh, and what are the 'proper' debate society-style options - "propose" and "oppose" instead of "agree" and "disagree"?

I reckon he's going to pop one of those earwiggy things* into the earpiece of the phone, then turn the volume down when he passes it to the contestant so that they have to press it right into their ear to hear the banker; the creature passes through into their brain and killpoisons them. It'll look like they just had an attack of the fits and he'll get away with it.

* I am sure I remember this happening on Star Trek or Star Wars when I was a kid. And yes, I get Star Trek and Star Wars confused.

I think that earwiggy thing you're thinking of is from Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan, Matt.

Jon Corby wrote:I think that earwiggy thing you're thinking of is from Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan, Matt.

Thanks Jon Also, Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan, Matt would be an excellent film, it's always nice when you get to know the bad guy's first name.

Jon Corby wrote:I think that earwiggy thing you're thinking of is from Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan, Matt.

And was brilliantly paid homage to in the latest Star 'Hi Christopher I'm Nero' Trek film. Though that one was more throat-based than ear-based.

Back OT, Noel= ice cold killa.

Maybe he could murder a midget contortionist and place it in the 'Death Box'

Matt Morrison wrote:

Jon Corby wrote:I think that earwiggy thing you're thinking of is from Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan, Matt.

Thanks Jon Also, Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan, Matt would be an excellent film, it's always nice when you get to know the bad guy's first name.

Funny

Arsenic on all the green confetti?? - bound to take out the next quarter mil winner who'll take some home, along with a few 'pilgrims' who'll want a souvenir - not realising it's poisoning them slowly but surely...just like Napolean's wallpaper (If that's real and not something I dreamt)

I abstain.

1. From this blog post of August 2005, a quote from Mark Gatiss in a piece he wrote for the Guardian:

"the great joy of [Deal Or No Deal] comes from Noel's pretence that it's possible to have a strategy. He gets quite stern with people whose only crime is to open a box over whose contents they have no control. Noel's grown visibly more swaggering as the weeks have passed as he knows he's got a hit on his hands. It's only a matter of time before one of the contestants is killed."

2. Don't forget this classic Edmonds murder news item.

3. Finally, perhaps the most incriminating evidence. After Noel Edmonds complained about being "hoodwinked" into making that televised condemnation of the made-up drug Cake, the Brass Eye team responded by saying "that their only regret was that they had not killed him while they had him in front of them because he 'is the Antichrist' ". Noel, baffled by this 'demonisation' said "I'm not a mass murderer. What have I done to deserve this?" - covertly acknowledging the fact that he IS a murderer, but just hasn't got around to becoming a MASS one yet.

I think he's more subtle. Every time you see Noel Edmonds on TV another of your brain cells dies - so he's killing ALL of us slowly.

This is pretty conclusive so far. Only one person has disagreed, and that was probably that weird kid who used to call himself Noel Edmonds on the old mailing list despite really being called Andrew.

I'd like to abstain, but you've given that as an option, so I'm now suffering existential doubt.

Ian Volante wrote:I'd like to abstain, but you've given that as an option, so I'm now suffering existential doubt.

If it helps, you can also abstain by pissing on a man's chest.

Matt Morrison wrote:

Ian Volante wrote:I'd like to abstain, but you've given that as an option, so I'm now suffering existential doubt.

If it helps, you can also abstain by pissing on a man's chest.

Don't you mean a sailor's chest?

One of the boxes conceals a spring-loaded poison dart.