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I've recently been dabbling in the world of cryptic crosswords and after setting a few to my guinea pigs, Howard and Rich, I've decided to release one to the general forum. This one's a homage to our dear Jason, with the clues revolving around larsenisms and other various American thingies. The (not very neat) grid can be seen below. Alas no symmetry in this one. O represents an entry square and X is a blank square and number squares have been coloured red for your convenience. Once you think you've solved the grid send you're answers to me via pm. The first complete set of correct answers wins a VFSMB! Easy enough?

OOOOOXXXXXX
OXXXOXXOOOO
OOOOOXXXOXO
OXXXOOOOOOO
OOOXXXOXOXO
OXOXOXOOOOO
OOOXOXOXXXO
OXOXOXOXOXO
OXOOOOOXOXO
OXOXXXXXOXO
XOOOOOOOOOO

Across

1. See 3
3,1. "Funny" guy made sketches of vehicle you returned (4,5)
6. Tenner down intermittently bankrupted company (5)
7. Goat with bell attached to it telling fibs (7)
9. Sir startled tax investigators (1,1,1)
12. Dessert's awesome! (5)
13. Part of special government branch (1,1,1)
15,14. Big studs seen in Hooters' strip clubs (5,4)
16. Standard nonsense-measuring unit baffled General Sam (10)

Down

1. Accessory to fraud (6,4)
2. Pull an American (4)
4. Sounds like everybody loves his promotion (5)
5. Wow! Note got thrown out. You and I pull out all the stops! (2,2,2,4)
8. Animator's pen's found without top over in home improvement (6)
10. Agree to fix a city (7)
11. Facility where Jason is likely to score (4)
14. See 15

Good luck! I'll reveal the answers in precisely 1 week.

On Dinos' behalf, here (I think!) is a printable version of this crossword's grid:

The blanks on the left look a bit like a camel.

I think I'm going to need more than one crosser to get 11D.

Oh I forgot to mention you can resubmit should you change your mind about an answer. Cheers for the grid, Crispy

4 days left if you still fancy a go at my Larsentastic crossword. The Larsenometer has registered 2 completely correct entries so far. Take that Brucie!

Time's up. Thanks to all those who entered. 3 people managed to complete the Larsenword. In chronological order: Matt Bayfield, Andrew Feist and Phil Reynolds. A VFSMB to all of them! Plus kudos to Howard who came one clue short of a full grid. Below is a full breakdown of the clues and answers which I've mostly copied and pasted from Andrew's pm cos I'm lazy haha!

Across

3,1 DREW CAREY (DREW + CAR + YE rev.)
6 ENRON (tEnNeRdOwN)
7 KIDDING (KID + DING)
9 IRS (SIR anag)
12 SWEET (double def)
13 CIA (speCIAl)
15,14 TITTY BARS (the first part of the clue was a cryptic hint towards breast piercings here ie TITTY BARS but this one is a bit naff IMHO. I've never actually seen anyone with a bar through their nipple, less called it a titty bar. My mind raced to other obscene things by this point that I just decided to stick with the clue as it was!)
16 MEGALARSEN (GENERAL SAM anag) For those who've never heard of the Larsenometer which measures the wackiness of posts, here's a pic courtesy of Mr Jim Bentley.



1 CREDIT CARD (cryptic def) See this thread
2 YANK (double def)
4 RAISE - sounds like RAY'S as in the popular US sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond
5 WE GO TO TOWN (WOW NOTE GOT anag)
8 DISNEY (PENS - P rev within DIY)
10 SEATTLE (SETTLE cont A)
11 FLAT (double def) Jason's favourite scoring variant on Apterous is FLAT as well as referring to an apartment in Seattle where he might bring the laydeez.

Thanks Dinos - I enjoyed my VSFMB.

Dinos Sfyris wrote:Plus kudos to Howard who came one clue short of a full grid.

In my experience, most people of Howard's age are one clue short of a full grid.

I missed FLAT and MEGALARSEN, which I don't feel too disappointed about (I meant to come back and have another go and then send it in, but forgot...). Good stuff, Dinos.

Charlie Reams wrote:The blanks on the left look a bit like a camel.

' So it's Rawshack and Prozac and everything is groovy'

Nick Cave - The Ballard of Millhaven.

Actually, I always see camels (with reins on) in those big traffic cameras at the side of the motorways.

Thanks for the entertaining crossword, Dinos. Hope Jason enjoyed it too.

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Dinos Sfyris wrote:Plus kudos to Howard who came one clue short of a full grid.

In my experience, most people of Howard's age are one clue short of a full grid.

Only one clue, Phil??

Howard Somerset wrote:

Phil Reynolds wrote:In my experience, most people of Howard's age are one clue short of a full grid.

Only one clue, Phil??

That was me being polite.