c4countdown

I was watching BBC Breakfast News this morning, when an article came on about British troops leaving Bassra.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8014318.stm

I couldn't help but smile at the name of the soldier being interviewed - MAJOR DICKIE HEAD.

This made me recall some of the notorious names on the old Rating records in Bradford from 30 odd years ago.

There was a Chinese gentleman in Ilkley called - FUK YUE TO. A couple living in Keighley were called DICK and FANNY LITTLE (They were clearly a perfect match for each other). There was also an owner of several properties called JAMES BOND whose reference number ended in "007" (I'm not kidding!).

A former colleague of mine used to go to school with ROLON BUTTER and there was once an announcement in the Births column of the local paper "Mr and Mrs BALDY are proud to announce the birth of their son GARY." Now, that one takes the biscuit!

Does anybody else have any examples of unfortunate names?

A guy on my shift is called Willie Pearson. Needless to say he is known as Prince Albert.

Bayleaf and Sicknote were also unfortunately named, especially as one was always cooking, and the other was always off sick.

My father was a church organist and choirmaster. One of the ladies in his choir was Annie Mann, which apparently occasioned much merriment when they sang Psalm 147, in which the Lord "hath no pleasure in the strength of an horse, neither delighteth he in Annie Mann's legs". You probably had to have been there.

Davy Affleck wrote:A guy on my shift is called Willie Pearson. Needless to say he is known as Prince Albert.

Brilliant, I hope this is true.

Charlie Reams wrote:

Davy Affleck wrote:A guy on my shift is called Willie Pearson. Needless to say he is known as Prince Albert.

Brilliant, I hope this is true.

100% genuine

When I worked in my old call centre we were constantly entertained by the fact the owner of 'Bob Hope Plumbing' called us regularly (yes, he got the joke). Not so much a name of a person the next one, but the fact the hairdressers' till system were run using something called Commedia and their insistence on dropping an L in there at random caused frequent verbal double-takes.

I used to work with a guy caled MICHAEL HUNT. He preferred that we didn't abbreviate his first name.

I went to school with a girl called Theresa Green.

I should also point out that my name fits the bill (T Potts) for which I am eternally thankful to my parents. Thankfully, we decided not to call my son Jack.

There's a footballer called PAUL DICKOV.

I know a guy called Chris Peacock. That's probably the best I've got.

My mum is called Cunt O'Neill. Really unfortunate.

Stuart Arnot wrote:There's a footballer called PAUL DICKOV.

There's a Belgian defender somewhere called Mark de Man, which admittedly is more excellent than unfortunate.

Stuart Arnot wrote:There's a footballer called PAUL DICKOV.

There's a Swiss footballer called Bernt Haas......

In fact I remember on GSS when he scored for Sunderland and Jeff said "Bernt Haas there, proving that it isn't all that dark at the bottom end"

At Cherwell School in Oxford, the typing teacher was called Mrs. Poole, and the history teacher was called Mr. Heritage.

We didn't have mobile phones, blackberries, mp3 players and sex or drugs back in those days, so oh how we laughed at such simple pleasures

Derek Hazell wrote:At Cherwell School in Oxford, the typing teacher was called Mrs. Poole, and the history teacher was called Mr. Heritage.

I'd regard those as fortunate rather than unfortunate. Along the same lines, for a while a few years ago the front-of-house manager for the theatre company I belong to was a Mr Foyer.

When the major British industrial conglomerate I used to work for was busily self-combusting in the late 1990s, our company accountant was Mr T Potts. Rather more unfortunately, the company never quite got over the shame of having to change the name of its French subsidiary in the early 90s because somebody found out than in French it meant "I have farted".

Darren Carter wrote:

Stuart Arnot wrote:There's a footballer called PAUL DICKOV.

There's a Swiss footballer called Bernt Haas......

In fact I remember on GSS when he scored for Sunderland and Jeff said "Bernt Haas there, proving that it isn't all that dark at the bottom end"

That reminds me of LOPEZ UFARTE who used to play in La Liga for Real Sociedad in the 1980's.

If you're going down the football route, this list is fairly exhaustive, and made far more interesting with some excellent African names:

1. Stefan Kuntz
2. Chiqui Arce
3. Bongo Christ
4. Have-a-Look Dube
5. Ars Bandeet
6. Segar Bastard
7. Rafael Scheidt
8. Rod Fanni
9. Johnny Moustache
10. David Goodwillie
11. Danny Shittu
12. Johan de Cock
13. Milan Fukal
14. Quim
15. Brian Pinas
16. Bernt Haas
17. Uwe Fuchs
18. Two-Boys Gladstone Gamede
19. Wolfgang Wolf
20. Creedence Clearwater Couto
21. Norman Conquest
22. Danger Fourpence
23. Paul Dickov
24. Argelico Fucks
25. Harry Daft

Soccerlens also have a list of unfortunately named football clubs.

Thanks to Q.I (the programme I mean) some unfortunately named websites

therapistfinder.com
penisland.com
whorepresents.com

There were four but I can't think of the last one.

Martin Gardner wrote:Thanks to Q.I (the programme I mean) some unfortunately named websites

therapistfinder.com
penisland.com
whorepresents.com

There were four but I can't think of the last one.

One of the commonly trotted out ones is expertsexchange - was it that?

Martin Gardner wrote:Thanks to Q.I (the programme I mean) some unfortunately named websites

therapistfinder.com
penisland.com
whorepresents.com

There were four but I can't think of the last one.

powergenitalia.com?

penisland was definitely deliberate... molestationnursery.com is another one I've seen somewhere, don't think it was QI though.

Charlie Reams wrote:penisland was definitely deliberate... molestationnursery.com is another one I've seen somewhere, don't think it was QI though.

I recall these were both once in an edition of Metro. Could that be it?

Tyron Potts wrote:I went to school with a girl called Theresa Green.
I should also point out that my name fits the bill (T Potts) for which I am eternally thankful to my parents. Thankfully, we decided not to call my son Jack.

Thanks to Tyron I've remembered that I used to work with an Alan Potts whose wife's name was Pamela, so she was Mrs. P. Potts.

Matt Morrison wrote:1. Stefan Kuntz

Reminds me of one of my favourite TV commentaries, when this player came on as a sub in one of Germany's World Cup (or possibly European Championship game) in the late 90s. "And now the Germans are bringing on a substitute. Kuntz."

My friend's dad claimed to know a ROBERT SOLE, and that at his school the register was called as first initial and surname.

Kai Laddiman wrote:My friend's dad claimed to know a ROBERT SOLE, and that at his school the register was called as first initial and surname.

That's a good one.

Matt Morrison wrote:I know a guy called Chris Peacock. That's probably the best I've got.

There was an article in some rag a few months ago about a Mr and Mrs Peacock who named their child Drew.

Matt Morrison wrote:I know a guy called Chris Peacock. That's probably the best I've got.

That reminds me that when I was at Gloster Aircraft, I worked with a guy named Harry Peacock.
Not worth comment as such, except that his section was the 'flutter' group, and also included Cec Partridge, Terry Heron and Pat Woodcock.

Many years ago, there was a funeral director in Hull called Boddey or Boddy...

Kevin Thurlow wrote:Many years ago, there was a funeral director in Hull called Boddey or Boddy...

When we bought our current house, we used the conveyancing services of this firm of solicitors.

...And did they live up to their name?

Kevin Thurlow wrote:...And did they live up to their name?

I couldn't possibly comment.

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Kevin Thurlow wrote:Many years ago, there was a funeral director in Hull called Boddey or Boddy...

When we bought our current house, we used the conveyancing services of this firm of solicitors.

There was a story in Private Eye about a solicitors firm founded by Mrs Alcock and Mrs Balls, but (having spotted the inevitable jokes about the obvious name) the two decided to use their maiden names, so the firm was instead called Lyall-Day. Much more apt for solicitors, really.

I know a company called 'Brush' cleaning.

Eoin Monaghan wrote:I know a company called 'Brush' cleaning.

There's a firm hereabouts calling themselves 'Token Cleaning Services' - OK if you only need "a lick and a promise".

There's an undertaker in Dewsbury called Eric Box.

Apparently a friend from uni went to school with someone called Phillip Mashita (roughly), which was shortened for the obvious humour value.

Matt Morrison wrote: 20. Creedence Clearwater Couto

It's that knid of thing that makes me wish my parents were hippies.