Unfortunate names

[Philip Jarvis]

I was watching BBC Breakfast News this morning, when an article came on about British troops leaving Bassra.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8014318.stm

I couldn't help but smile at the name of the soldier being interviewed - MAJOR DICKIE HEAD.

This made me recall some of the notorious names on the old Rating records in Bradford from 30 odd years ago.

There was a Chinese gentleman in Ilkley called - FUK YUE TO. A couple living in Keighley were called DICK and FANNY LITTLE (They were clearly a perfect match for each other). There was also an owner of several properties called JAMES BOND whose reference number ended in "007" (I'm not kidding!).

A former colleague of mine used to go to school with ROLON BUTTER and there was once an announcement in the Births column of the local paper "Mr and Mrs BALDY are proud to announce the birth of their son GARY." Now, that one takes the biscuit!

Does anybody else have any examples of unfortunate names?

[Davy Affleck]

A guy on my shift is called Willie Pearson. Needless to say he is known as Prince Albert.

[Derek Hazell]

Bayleaf and Sicknote were also unfortunately named, especially as one was always cooking, and the other was always off sick.

[Rosemary Roberts]

My father was a church organist and choirmaster. One of the ladies in his choir was Annie Mann, which apparently occasioned much merriment when they sang Psalm 147, in which the Lord "hath no pleasure in the strength of an horse, neither delighteth he in Annie Mann's legs". You probably had to have been there.

[Charlie Reams]

A guy on my shift is called Willie Pearson. Needless to say he is known as Prince Albert.

Brilliant, I hope this is true.

[Davy Affleck]

A guy on my shift is called Willie Pearson. Needless to say he is known as Prince Albert.

Brilliant, I hope this is true.

100% genuine

[Ben Wilson]

When I worked in my old call centre we were constantly entertained by the fact the owner of 'Bob Hope Plumbing' called us regularly (yes, he got the joke). Not so much a name of a person the next one, but the fact the hairdressers' till system were run using something called Commedia and their insistence on dropping an L in there at random caused frequent verbal double-takes.

[Howard Somerset]

I used to work with a guy caled MICHAEL HUNT. He preferred that we didn't abbreviate his first name.

[Tyron Potts]

I went to school with a girl called Theresa Green.

I should also point out that my name fits the bill (T Potts) for which I am eternally thankful to my parents. Thankfully, we decided not to call my son Jack.

[Stuart Arnot]

There's a footballer called PAUL DICKOV.

[Matt Morrison]

I know a guy called Chris Peacock. That's probably the best I've got.

[Jon O'Neill]

My mum is called Cunt O'Neill. Really unfortunate.

[Paul Howe]

There's a footballer called PAUL DICKOV.

There's a Belgian defender somewhere called Mark de Man, which admittedly is more excellent than unfortunate.

[Darren Carter]

There's a footballer called PAUL DICKOV.

There's a Swiss footballer called Bernt Haas......

In fact I remember on GSS when he scored for Sunderland and Jeff said "Bernt Haas there, proving that it isn't all that dark at the bottom end"

[Derek Hazell]

At Cherwell School in Oxford, the typing teacher was called Mrs. Poole, and the history teacher was called Mr. Heritage.

We didn't have mobile phones, blackberries, mp3 players and sex or drugs back in those days, so oh how we laughed at such simple pleasures

[Phil Reynolds]

At Cherwell School in Oxford, the typing teacher was called Mrs. Poole, and the history teacher was called Mr. Heritage.

I'd regard those as fortunate rather than unfortunate. Along the same lines, for a while a few years ago the front-of-house manager for the theatre company I belong to was a Mr Foyer.

When the major British industrial conglomerate I used to work for was busily self-combusting in the late 1990s, our company accountant was Mr T Potts. Rather more unfortunately, the company never quite got over the shame of having to change the name of its French subsidiary in the early 90s because somebody found out than in French it meant "I have farted".

[Philip Jarvis]

There's a footballer called PAUL DICKOV.

There's a Swiss footballer called Bernt Haas......

In fact I remember on GSS when he scored for Sunderland and Jeff said "Bernt Haas there, proving that it isn't all that dark at the bottom end"

That reminds me of LOPEZ UFARTE who used to play in La Liga for Real Sociedad in the 1980's.

[Matt Morrison]

If you're going down the football route, this list is fairly exhaustive, and made far more interesting with some excellent African names:

1. Stefan Kuntz
2. Chiqui Arce
3. Bongo Christ
4. Have-a-Look Dube
5. Ars Bandeet
6. Segar Bastard
7. Rafael Scheidt
8. Rod Fanni
9. Johnny Moustache
10. David Goodwillie
11. Danny Shittu
12. Johan de Cock
13. Milan Fukal
14. Quim
15. Brian Pinas
16. Bernt Haas
17. Uwe Fuchs
18. Two-Boys Gladstone Gamede
19. Wolfgang Wolf
20. Creedence Clearwater Couto
21. Norman Conquest
22. Danger Fourpence
23. Paul Dickov
24. Argelico Fucks
25. Harry Daft

Soccerlens also have a list of unfortunately named football clubs.

[Martin Gardner]

Thanks to Q.I (the programme I mean) some unfortunately named websites

therapistfinder.com
penisland.com
whorepresents.com

There were four but I can't think of the last one.

[Michael Wallace]

Thanks to Q.I (the programme I mean) some unfortunately named websites

therapistfinder.com
penisland.com
whorepresents.com

There were four but I can't think of the last one.

One of the commonly trotted out ones is expertsexchange - was it that?

[Kai Laddiman]

Thanks to Q.I (the programme I mean) some unfortunately named websites

therapistfinder.com
penisland.com
whorepresents.com

There were four but I can't think of the last one.

powergenitalia.com?

[Charlie Reams]

penisland was definitely deliberate... molestationnursery.com is another one I've seen somewhere, don't think it was QI though.

[Dinos Sfyris]

penisland was definitely deliberate... molestationnursery.com is another one I've seen somewhere, don't think it was QI though.

I recall these were both once in an edition of Metro. Could that be it?

[David Gunn]

I went to school with a girl called Theresa Green.
I should also point out that my name fits the bill (T Potts) for which I am eternally thankful to my parents. Thankfully, we decided not to call my son Jack.

Thanks to Tyron I've remembered that I used to work with an Alan Potts whose wife's name was Pamela, so she was Mrs. P. Potts.

[Howard Somerset]

1. Stefan Kuntz

Reminds me of one of my favourite TV commentaries, when this player came on as a sub in one of Germany's World Cup (or possibly European Championship game) in the late 90s. "And now the Germans are bringing on a substitute. Kuntz."

[Kai Laddiman]

My friend's dad claimed to know a ROBERT SOLE, and that at his school the register was called as first initial and surname.

[Eoin Monaghan]

My friend's dad claimed to know a ROBERT SOLE, and that at his school the register was called as first initial and surname.

That's a good one.

[M. George Quinn]

I know a guy called Chris Peacock. That's probably the best I've got.

There was an article in some rag a few months ago about a Mr and Mrs Peacock who named their child Drew.

[Peter Mabey]

I know a guy called Chris Peacock. That's probably the best I've got.

That reminds me that when I was at Gloster Aircraft, I worked with a guy named Harry Peacock.
Not worth comment as such, except that his section was the 'flutter' group, and also included Cec Partridge, Terry Heron and Pat Woodcock.

[Kevin Thurlow]

Many years ago, there was a funeral director in Hull called Boddey or Boddy...

[Phil Reynolds]

Many years ago, there was a funeral director in Hull called Boddey or Boddy...

When we bought our current house, we used the conveyancing services of this firm of solicitors.

[Kevin Thurlow]

...And did they live up to their name?

[Phil Reynolds]

...And did they live up to their name?

I couldn't possibly comment.

[Charlie Reams]

Many years ago, there was a funeral director in Hull called Boddey or Boddy...

When we bought our current house, we used the conveyancing services of this firm of solicitors.

There was a story in Private Eye about a solicitors firm founded by Mrs Alcock and Mrs Balls, but (having spotted the inevitable jokes about the obvious name) the two decided to use their maiden names, so the firm was instead called Lyall-Day. Much more apt for solicitors, really.

[Eoin Monaghan]

I know a company called 'Brush' cleaning.

[Peter Mabey]

I know a company called 'Brush' cleaning.

There's a firm hereabouts calling themselves 'Token Cleaning Services' - OK if you only need "a lick and a promise".

[Ian Volante]

There's an undertaker in Dewsbury called Eric Box.

Apparently a friend from uni went to school with someone called Phillip Mashita (roughly), which was shortened for the obvious humour value.

[Stuart Arnot]

20. Creedence Clearwater Couto

It's that knid of thing that makes me wish my parents were hippies.