c4countdown

Dear Jeff, Rachel and Susie.

I liked countdown so much, My favourite part is the countdown clock because i like the sound of the clock ticks down.

So here is a funny joke for the countdown team.

10) ''They told me at the blood bank this might happen.''

9) ''This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.''

8) ''Whew! Guess I left the top off the Wite-Out. You probably got here just in time!''

7) ''I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.''

6) ''I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.''

5) ''I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stess. Do you discriminate toward people who practice Yoga?''

4) ''Dang! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.''

3) ''The coffee machine is broken...''

2) ''Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot...''

1) ''.....in Jesus' name, Amen.''

I don't get it.

Too bad they've used it before.

Hint: when copying & pasting shitty joke emails, always check if you need to include the subject line as well.

Hello Ronald Anthony Hickman

Do you have a shortened version of your name of is it similar to an American 'thang'? You may not have noticed but Jeff, Susie and Rachel don't post here (unless Jason Larsen's a joke we've all been missing).

Anyways, my submission for your 'what's this the punchline to?' competition is:
What's the best excuse for a post like this?

Welcome to the forum!

Matt Morrison wrote:I don't get it.

He forgot to say "top 10 excuses if you are caught asleep at work..." What a doofus.

Ryan Taylor wrote:

Matt Morrison wrote:I don't get it.

He forgot to say "top 10 excuses if you are caught asleep at work..." What a doofus.

I think they work pretty well anyway. Especically this one:

1) ''.....in Jesus' name, Amen.''

Hilarious!

Hi I'm Jayne Wisniewski,

I watched the first episode of Countdown in my halls of residence at uni and I've been a fan ever since. I lost interest in the "Des" years (both of them) but I love Jeff and Rachel and I now sky+ the show every day! I've also been playing on Apterous since January which is great fun. Have to limit myself though, else I'd never get any housework done!

I've never joined a chatroom before so I'll probably limit my posts to comments about the episodes.

Welcome to you Jayne.
Hope you will feel comfortable here.

Ralph Gillions wrote:Welcome to you Jayne.
Hope you will feel comfortable here.

Gees. Back off Ralph. You're making her feel uncomfortable.

Hi world.

I'm Jordan (Sadly you won't get my last name, sorry about that). I'm what you all refer to as a "Yank." One year left of college hoping to get into theatre when I get out. Found Apterous first when some other game show fans were playing it separately, then found Apterous and found here. Unfortunately I'm really only able to watch the actual show via YouTube, so I perhaps don't have an extensive episode history as some of you guys. May not be able to play the show in real life because of that whole location thing, but I enjoy it. I also have a mild form of autism and have done some small advocacy for that.

Hi... bit nervous...

Robert Baxter wrote:Hi... bit nervous...

No need to be Robert! Everyone on here is nice. (Most of the time.)

Jon O'Neill wrote:My name's Jon O'Neill and I like four from the top.

So do I.

Eoin Monaghan wrote:

Robert Baxter wrote:Hi... bit nervous...

No need to be Robert! Everyone on here is nice. (Most of the time.)

Thanks

Hi Robert. Good choice rejecting Corby's breakaway thread
Welcome to the forum!

Lesley Hines wrote:Hi Robert. Good choice rejecting Corby's breakaway thread
Welcome to the forum!

Yeah, I'll try not to mess things up (something I'm VERY good at )

Bonjour tout les monde,

Adore the show... and if I ever get good enough, would love to be a contestant. A little way to go yet though! Like to go watch it being recorded, which is incredibly handy given my recent move to Personchester.

Take care y'all,

Rachel x

Hi Rachel! Enjoy the forum! Would be good to see you as a contestant someday, maybe a female octochamp!

Rachel Dixon wrote:given my recent move to Personchester.

Sexist.

Jon Corby wrote:Wow, what a coincidence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1VgcxE9Lpw

..as Marjorie Dawes might say.

Hi boys and girls, I'm David and I shall soon be warming the challenger's chair on Countdown. Hope you'll all look out for me (and I do hope recappers say nice things about me).

Looking forward to reading and posting lots in the future

Welcome David.
Look forward to seeing you on screen.

Ralph Gillions wrote:Welcome David.
Look forward to seeing you on screen.

Gees. Back off Ralph. You're making him feel uncomfortable.

Robert Baxter wrote:

Ralph Gillions wrote:Welcome David.
Look forward to seeing you on screen.

Gees. Back off Ralph. You're making him feel uncomfortable.

Copycat Robert

Hi, I'm Rhys and I like 4 from the top.

Hi Rhys, good to see another youngster on.

Hi Rhys, good to see another youngster on.

Ralph?

Hi Everyone,

I was on the show on the 29th of September. It's crazy what nerves do!!!

Delighted to have got the conundrum but disappointed that I'll never own a teapot

Welcome to this forum Nik.
Pity about the teapot. A fairly quick spot of the conundrum though, and you finished very respectably close.
Regards

Nik Mackintosh wrote:Hi Everyone,

I was on the show on the 29th of September. It's crazy what nerves do!!!

Delighted to have got the conundrum but disappointed that I'll never own a teapot

How much are you prepared to pay for one?

Ralph Gillions wrote:Welcome to this forum Nik.
Pity about the teapot. A fairly quick spot of the conundrum though, and you finished very respectably close.
Regards

Thanks Ralph. I was pleased with the conundrum just a pity i bottled the numbers! That was meant to be my strong point

[/quote]

How much are you prepared to pay for one? [/quote]


Don't think i'd feel the same about one I had to buy. I'll give you a fiver for it

Hello everyone.

My name is Martin Long. I am from Redcar (near Middlesbrough) in the wonderful North East of England. I am currently unemployed after finishing university at Teesside. I earn a little money from playing poker but not enough to earn a living.

I have been watching Countdown for a long time but have taken more interest lately due to the marvellous Jeff Stelling becoming host. The man is a legend.

Countdown-wise, I am good with the numbers but prety poor on the letters games and shocking at the conundrums.

My interests include supporting Sunderland AFC, playing poker, drinking and going out and watching most sports. Really looking forward to the Ashes this winter.

I look forward to discussing the game of Countdown with you all. I recognise some of the names from previous Countdown shows. I am sure I really will enjoy my stay here.

James Nguyen:

16 years old
Currently in year 11
Queen Elizabeth's Boys School student
Currently doing AS Levels.
Like Countdown.

Hello.

James Nguyen wrote:James Nguyen:

16 years old
Currently in year 11
Queen Elizabeth's Boys School student
Currently doing AS Levels.
Like Countdown.

Hello.

I imagined you were fat.

And what would drive you to make that prediction?

Hello Martin and James.
Welcome and I hope you enjoy using this forum.

James Nguyen wrote:And what would drive you to make that prediction?

Are you the James Nguyen who was telling some noobs on apterous that you're a mod and they must've been cheating to beat you?

Charlie Reams wrote:

James Nguyen wrote:And what would drive you to make that prediction?

Are you the James Nguyen who was telling some noobs on apterous that you're a mod and they must've been cheating to beat you?

Racist.

Charlie Reams wrote:

James Nguyen wrote:And what would drive you to make that prediction?

Are you the James Nguyen who was telling some noobs on apterous that you're a mod and they must've been cheating to beat you?

Must have been another James Nguyen. I only say I'm a mod when I feel lonely.

It was probably me.

James Nguyen wrote:

Charlie Reams wrote:

James Nguyen wrote:And what would drive you to make that prediction?

Are you the James Nguyen who was telling some noobs on apterous that you're a mod and they must've been cheating to beat you?

Must have been another James Nguyen. I only say I'm a mod when I feel lonely.

It was probably me.

Yeah, don't do that please.

Hi,

I'm Joseph Krol. Just joined apterous a couple of weeks ago. I'm 12 and my hobbies include reading, thinking, and eating chocolate flavoured yoghurt. You also might know me for my spectacular fails on apterous.

How do you change your profile picture and signature?

Jojseph

Joseph Krol wrote:Hi,

I'm Joseph Krol. Just joined apterous a couple of weeks ago. I'm 12 and my hobbies include reading, thinking, and eating chocolate flavoured yoghurt. You also might know me for my spectacular fails on apterous.

How do you change your profile picture and signature?

Jojseph

***LIKE***

Click on the "User Control Panel" link top left and there are options to change those things in there.

Joseph Krol wrote:...my hobbies include reading, thinking, and eating chocolate flavoured yoghurt...

^LIKE!

I sometimes go through spells of only drinking chocolate Yop! (These spells normally last for about 5 minutes until I have finished my Yop!)

Joseph Krol wrote:...my hobbies include reading, thinking, and eating chocolate flavoured yoghurt...

What about being conventional, or meeting people and finding out what they are like?

Welcome by the way, you seem a nice chap.

Joseph Krol wrote:Hi,

I'm Joseph Krol. Just joined apterous a couple of weeks ago. I'm 12 and my hobbies include reading, thinking, and eating chocolate flavoured yoghurt. You also might know me for my spectacular fails on apterous.

How do you change your profile picture and signature?

Jojseph

Yoghurt - bad. And just because you colour it brown, PVA glue is still PVA glue.

Hello, I'm Charles Alfred Lewis Reams. My hobbies are listening to podcasts and scratching myself. One time I went on the show and lost twice but they kept inviting me back anyway. It was awesome.

Charlie Reams wrote:Hello, I'm Charles Alfred Lewis Reams. My hobbies are listening to podcasts and scratching myself. One time I went on the show and lost twice but they kept inviting me back anyway. It was awesome.

I can't believe in all the time I've known you, I've never asked what the calr in your e-mail stood for. Of course I've only known you for about two minutes, and for what it's worth I don't reckon you'll fit in here at all, cos you sound like a div.























Luckily for you my favourite HTML tag is a DIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Charlie Reams wrote:Hello, I'm Charles Alfred Lewis Reams. My hobbies are listening to podcasts and scratching myself. One time I went on the show and lost twice but they kept inviting me back anyway. It was awesome.

Welcome, Charles. Or do you prefer to be called Alfie, or maybe Loo?

Good to see that you've plucked up courage to make a first post, and so are not one of the silent majority. Hopefully you'll find your next post much easier.

Take your time and look around. You'll probably fit in here. Habitually scratching yourself is a good start. But there are a few other habits (not too far removed from that one) that you'll need to pick up before you can really be regarded as one of the in-crowd.

Just one word of warning though. Be careful not to upset the owner here. He can be a bit of a bastard at times.

Matt Morrison wrote:I don't reckon you'll fit in here at all, cos you sound like a div.

I don't follow...

Hi, everyone. I'm Dan McColm, and will be appearing soon on the programme having recently passed my audition, which, strangely enough, was over the phone. I'm a fresher at Durham University and I'm studying German and Russian. I'm proud to say I learnt the letters of the alphabet from Countdown My interests are music (especially classical) and football (I'm a Middlesbrough fan). My aim is to win a teapot.

Dan McColm wrote:Hi, everyone. I'm Dan McColm, and will be appearing soon on the programme having recently passed my audition, which, strangely enough, was over the phone. I'm a fresher at Durham University and I'm studying German and Russian. I'm proud to say I learnt the letters of the alphabet from Countdown My interests are music (especially classical) and football (I'm a Middlesbrough fan). My aim is to win a teapot.

Welcome! Judging from that description of yourself you will slot in just fine.

Blimey! I've had this account for over a year and forgotten I had it, amazing what you come back to come to think of it. As you may have guessed, I'm Sam Hodkin, 19 stroke 20, proud half-Mancunian and FC United of Manchester fan. I've been an irregular(ish) viewer of countdown probably from the age of 7 or 8. I'm generally sub-average on letters games, totally cr*p at conundrums and occasionally have a good moment in numbers games. Glad to be part of a cracking lot!

Hello Sam.
Welcome and I hope you enjoy using this forum.

Hi there!
I am Soph K. I am on apterous.org and have been on it for about 3 months. I have been into Countdown for around 12 months, and it all started when my brother started watching Countdown on TV. I kept watching it also, and getting a few words, gradually getting better and better each time. I am still not awfully good, but am improving and learning new words. I am quite musical, as I can play the violin, recorder, keyboard/piano and a bit of guitar. Also, I like listening to and singing along to songs, pop music especially. I'm not too sporty, but like to keep fit and healthy. I enjoy playing netball and rounders. I like to go on holidays, including holidays in my caravan as almost every time I have been on a caravan holiday, I have made some great, long lasting friendships. My favourite colour is purple. I will be posting on here every 3 days or more.
Bye and thanks for readng this. Hope to chat again soon.
Soph K.

Soph K wrote: I will be posting on here every 3 days or more.

That's pretty restrained of you, most of us seem to struggle to post less than every three hours...

Hi folks. I've been playing on apterous for a while, this is my second post ever on the forums. Now I've recorded on the show, I'm keen to enter any of the online tournaments that are going on, including variants. Where's the best place to look out for those? They seem to be scattered around a little. Anyway if there's one I haven't entered, someone give me a shout on apterous. Ta.