Poetry Corner
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- Jason Larsen
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Poetry Corner
I would like to write a poem to my friends in the production team. This is for all of them, but the rest of you can respond too. It's called, "My UK Pleasure." Here goes:
My UK Pleasure
by Jason Larsen
What's the most popular game in any UK town?
Why, it's a game we like to call Countdown
The original host was Richard Whiteley
He always filled myself with glee
Des Lynam is a really nice guy
He has a personality that money can't buy
Now, the host is Des O'Connor
Anytime soon, I hope he's not a goner
The game starts off with a round of letters
I cannot explain it any better
The game continues with a round of numbers
Which is really great for him and her
Here's something I can prove better than life on Mars
The Countdown crew are all stars.
I will be sending my writing to Lara at least once a month. It is up to her if Des reads it. I would like to send big cyber hugs to Kate and Lara, and firm cyber handshakes to Damian. You are all great people!
I hope you all enjoyed my poem!
Thank you!
My UK Pleasure
by Jason Larsen
What's the most popular game in any UK town?
Why, it's a game we like to call Countdown
The original host was Richard Whiteley
He always filled myself with glee
Des Lynam is a really nice guy
He has a personality that money can't buy
Now, the host is Des O'Connor
Anytime soon, I hope he's not a goner
The game starts off with a round of letters
I cannot explain it any better
The game continues with a round of numbers
Which is really great for him and her
Here's something I can prove better than life on Mars
The Countdown crew are all stars.
I will be sending my writing to Lara at least once a month. It is up to her if Des reads it. I would like to send big cyber hugs to Kate and Lara, and firm cyber handshakes to Damian. You are all great people!
I hope you all enjoyed my poem!
Thank you!
Last edited by Jason Larsen on Thu May 01, 2008 8:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Poetry Corner
Good stuff. Any more budding poets out there?
This one's called "Corby's Fantasy"
There was a young lady named Susie
Who acted a bit of a floozie
She flashed me her "Dent"
So up it I went
I'm lucky she's not all that choosy
This one's called "Corby's Fantasy"
There was a young lady named Susie
Who acted a bit of a floozie
She flashed me her "Dent"
So up it I went
I'm lucky she's not all that choosy
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Re: Poetry Corner
I tried to think of my own dirty limerick but I can't surpass Corby's sublime effort, here's a haiku instead.
Countdown conundrum,
Clocks ticking; no answer: shit!
It ends I-N-G.
Which is dedicated to my supreme non-abilities at conundra.
Countdown conundrum,
Clocks ticking; no answer: shit!
It ends I-N-G.
Which is dedicated to my supreme non-abilities at conundra.
Last edited by David O'Donnell on Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Poetry Corner
This is probably the best couplet since Poe. I submit my own haiku:Jason Larsen wrote: Now, the host is Des O'Connor
Anytime soon, I hope he's not a goner
Gasp! The old lady
Says she's got a nine. Oh wait,
Misdeclaration.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Brilliant!Charlie Reams wrote:This is probably the best couplet since Poe. I submit my own haiku:Jason Larsen wrote: Now, the host is Des O'Connor
Anytime soon, I hope he's not a goner
Gasp! The old lady
Says she's got a nine. Oh wait,
Misdeclaration.
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Re: Poetry Corner
How do you get 5 syllables out of 'Ends I-N-G'? is that some perverted Irish thing?David O'Donnell wrote:Countdown conundrum,
Clocks ticking; no answer: shit!
Ends I-N-G.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Bog off, I am hungover.Michael Wallace wrote:How do you get 5 syllables out of 'Ends I-N-G'? is that some perverted Irish thing?David O'Donnell wrote:Countdown conundrum,
Clocks ticking; no answer: shit!
Ends I-N-G.
PS Duly edited [this is going to be my catchphrase].
Re: Poetry Corner
It's a crucial conundrumCharlie Reams wrote:This is probably the best couplet since Poe. I submit my own haiku:Jason Larsen wrote: Now, the host is Des O'Connor
Anytime soon, I hope he's not a goner
Gasp! The old lady
Says she's got a nine. Oh wait,
Misdeclaration.
HEAR RADIO looks unsolvable, i'm crapping myself
Diarrhoea.
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Re: Poetry Corner
[quote="Jason Larsen"]
I hope you all enjoyed my poem!
Hello Jason,
Thanks for the poem. There's no denying your love of Countdown, is there? Keep sending material to Lara and, whjo knows, one day Des may read one out on the show and give you a little wave!
Have a nice day. K
I hope you all enjoyed my poem!
Hello Jason,
Thanks for the poem. There's no denying your love of Countdown, is there? Keep sending material to Lara and, whjo knows, one day Des may read one out on the show and give you a little wave!
Have a nice day. K
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Re: Poetry Corner
You've fallen at the first. The most popular game in any UK town is in fact Kick The Pikey.Jason Larsen wrote: What's the most popular game in any UK town?
Why, it's a game we like to call Countdown
You missed out "until my demands are met".I will be sending my writing to Lara at least once a month.
Re: Poetry Corner
Jennifer Turner wrote:You missed out "until my demands are met".
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Re: Poetry Corner
If there was a way to highlight excellent posts, this and Corby's limerick would definitely have got my vote.Jennifer Turner wrote:You missed out "until my demands are met".I will be sending my writing to Lara at least once a month.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Some say Des can no longer rock,
But he still gives the ladies a shock,
At 3:25,
They all come alive,
When he shows them his big, shiny clock.
But he still gives the ladies a shock,
At 3:25,
They all come alive,
When he shows them his big, shiny clock.
Re: Poetry Corner
Excellent!M. George Quinn wrote:Some say Des can no longer rock,
But he still gives the ladies a shock,
At 3:25,
They all come alive,
When he shows them his big, shiny clock.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Charlie Reams wrote:If there was a way to highlight excellent posts, this and Corby's limerick would definitely have got my vote.Jennifer Turner wrote:You missed out "until my demands are met".I will be sending my writing to Lara at least once a month.
You could have a "rec" system whereby funny or interesting posts receive a "rec" which is listed as count somewhere near the post itself. I am not sure what this would entail computer-lingo wise.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Hello again, everyone!
I'm sorry, but I just couldn't think of any rhyme for anything except goner for Connor and her for numbers. I wanted to keep it positive.
Damian and Kate, thank you very much for your kind words!
I'm sorry, but I just couldn't think of any rhyme for anything except goner for Connor and her for numbers. I wanted to keep it positive.
Damian and Kate, thank you very much for your kind words!
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Re: Poetry Corner
I'm not sure I really "get" haikus. Is there any logic behind the number of syllables in a line or is it just some arbitrary invention?
Re: Poetry Corner
Not when Damian's writing them 5-7-5 seems to be the most commonly used form, but I think there might be a lot of subtlety us cloth eared Westerners are missing.Gevin-Gavin wrote:I'm not sure I really "get" haikus. Is there any logic behind the
number of syllables in a line
Loving this thread though, Corby for Poet Laureate
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Re: Poetry Corner
I wrote this thread for at least me to share my Countdown poem. Now, look what it's turned into.
You all have very different styles of writing.
You all have very different styles of writing.
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What makes Des O'Connor laugh?
I was wondering something.
What makes Des O'Connor laugh?
If any of you are wondering why I am posting this thread, well, I'll give you a hint:
Take a look at the date that this thread was posted.
What makes Des O'Connor laugh?
If any of you are wondering why I am posting this thread, well, I'll give you a hint:
Take a look at the date that this thread was posted.
Re: What makes Des O'Connor laugh?
Is the answer - Des laughs at Thu May 1st ?
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Re: What makes Des O'Connor laugh?
Well I can't say that I have detected any particular thing that tickles the Des funny bone more than anything else.
He seems to be amused and smiles about a lot of things, but I don't know what his favourite sort of humour might be.
He seems to be amused and smiles about a lot of things, but I don't know what his favourite sort of humour might be.
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Re: What makes Des O'Connor laugh?
No, Damian.
May 1 is the beginning of a new month, and it's time for me to send another e-mail draft to the Countdown crew.
I am asking for you all to give me some insight about what makes Des O'Connor laugh so that an e-mail from me will be read on the air by him.
Lara seems very sweet. If anyone receives my e-mail draft, it's going to be her. Sweet Lara is very busy, so Sweet Lara doesn't always have the time to respond to me. Nothing against her, though. I like her a lot.
Also, if anyone rejects e-mails to be read on the air on Countdown, it's Des himself. Not Carol, not Lara, but Des himself.
If the e-mail I send gets a laugh out of Des, he will read it.
May 1 is the beginning of a new month, and it's time for me to send another e-mail draft to the Countdown crew.
I am asking for you all to give me some insight about what makes Des O'Connor laugh so that an e-mail from me will be read on the air by him.
Lara seems very sweet. If anyone receives my e-mail draft, it's going to be her. Sweet Lara is very busy, so Sweet Lara doesn't always have the time to respond to me. Nothing against her, though. I like her a lot.
Also, if anyone rejects e-mails to be read on the air on Countdown, it's Des himself. Not Carol, not Lara, but Des himself.
If the e-mail I send gets a laugh out of Des, he will read it.
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Re: What makes Des O'Connor laugh?
Yeah, because despite being a famous TV presenter and busy father, Des does actually read all the correspondence sent in to Countdown himself.
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Re: What makes Des O'Connor laugh?
Sarcasm is soooo 1980s.Charlie Reams wrote:Yeah, because despite being a famous TV presenter and busy father, Des does actually read all the correspondence sent in to Countdown himself.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Wow!
I knew Des was such a caring guy!
I knew Des was such a caring guy!
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Re: Poetry Corner
Thank you for merging this thread, to whoever did it.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Jason Larsen wrote:Wow!
I knew Des was such a caring guy!
.... and Larsen's return puts the ball in Charlie's court!
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Re: Poetry Corner
I am indeed very sweet! As is Kate. Damian - not so much!
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Re: Poetry Corner
I think I might just swallow the ball and end it all.David O'Donnell wrote:Jason Larsen wrote:Wow!
I knew Des was such a caring guy!
.... and Larsen's return puts the ball in Charlie's court!
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Re: Poetry Corner
David, I'll try not to take you too seriously.
Lara, it's nice to hear from you.
Lara, it's nice to hear from you.
Re: Poetry Corner
I didnt realise some of you posted on here that worked at Countdown. Nice to see you take the time out to say hello.
Kate knows my poetry. The washing machine is good by the way Kate if you read this ;o)
Shame me and Lara didnt get to talk properly about Kylie but still.
Kate knows my poetry. The washing machine is good by the way Kate if you read this ;o)
Shame me and Lara didnt get to talk properly about Kylie but still.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Lee, did you like that?
Re: Poetry Corner
If you meant the poem Jason yes i did
Here's my effort
Countdown is a thrilling game
It gets us all excited
Come and join in all the fun
Cause everyone's invited.
Des does introductions
Tells a joke that's good, but lame
And it's time to pick your pens up
concentrate and play the game
Chose your letters 9 of them
And try to make a word
Susie's good at this round
Cause her word will be absurd
The numbers round is sometimes hard
Carol shows it's easy
The camera spans around her
In her dress that's sometimes sleazy.
At the final stage the conundrum
If you get it, then be proud
But if you dont, Des always asks
"Someone got that in the crowd"
So relax and put your feet up
Afternoons on Channel 4
And may the game of Countdown
Reign supreme forever more!
Here's my effort
Countdown is a thrilling game
It gets us all excited
Come and join in all the fun
Cause everyone's invited.
Des does introductions
Tells a joke that's good, but lame
And it's time to pick your pens up
concentrate and play the game
Chose your letters 9 of them
And try to make a word
Susie's good at this round
Cause her word will be absurd
The numbers round is sometimes hard
Carol shows it's easy
The camera spans around her
In her dress that's sometimes sleazy.
At the final stage the conundrum
If you get it, then be proud
But if you dont, Des always asks
"Someone got that in the crowd"
So relax and put your feet up
Afternoons on Channel 4
And may the game of Countdown
Reign supreme forever more!
Re: Poetry Corner
Time for me to balance out this thread again...
A lady from 'Strictly Come Dancing'
Conned pikeys with subprime financing
To pay for her op
(as her 'two from the top'
appear to have had some enhancing)
A lady from 'Strictly Come Dancing'
Conned pikeys with subprime financing
To pay for her op
(as her 'two from the top'
appear to have had some enhancing)
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Re: Poetry Corner
I would love to boink Carol Vorderman,
I just don't think I can afford her, man.
That's quite a bugger,
I'll just have to drug her,
Then smuggle her over the border, man.
I just don't think I can afford her, man.
That's quite a bugger,
I'll just have to drug her,
Then smuggle her over the border, man.
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Re: Poetry Corner
@ Corby's genius!
@ Magic George's disturbing thought processes, this sense of unease is not even remotely attenuated by that avatar you are currently sporting ... and you entertain children
@ Magic George's disturbing thought processes, this sense of unease is not even remotely attenuated by that avatar you are currently sporting ... and you entertain children
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Re: Poetry Corner
Corby started it with his Susie poem. I was trying to outcorby, Corby. You can say anything in a limerick. Them's the rules.
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Re: Poetry Corner
M. George Quinn wrote:Corby started it with his Susie poem. I was trying to outcorby, Corby. You can say anything in a limerick. Them's the rules.
Fair enough. I was really just trying to buy a little time so I could out-corby both of you but alas the artistic well runs dry, maybe when I return from the pub tonight
Re: Poetry Corner
Really? Cool...M. George Quinn wrote:You can say anything in a limerick. Them's the rules.
"An Austrian father named Fritzl,
..."
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Re: Poetry Corner
Ha, I like how he put in the "..." to suggest he had the good taste to stop there. When we all know it was really just because he can't rhyme Fritzl.
Re: Poetry Corner
Wienerschnitzel.M. George Quinn wrote:Ha, I like how he put in the "..." to suggest he had the good taste to stop there. When we all know it was really just because he can't rhyme Fritzl.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Great poems, everyone!
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Re: Poetry Corner
There was a young fellow called Jason,
Who for each thought he had he would race on
To the countdown board,
And leave us all floored,
With an enthusiastic explanation.
Who for each thought he had he would race on
To the countdown board,
And leave us all floored,
With an enthusiastic explanation.
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Re: Poetry Corner
There was a young fellow from Omagh,
Whose nervousness was a misnomer,
It’s not nerves, if you please,
He’s just had the DTs,
Since he drank himself into a coma.
Whose nervousness was a misnomer,
It’s not nerves, if you please,
He’s just had the DTs,
Since he drank himself into a coma.
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Re: Poetry Corner
It's funny because it's true, nice work, George!
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Re: Poetry Corner
There once was a clown from Belfast,
Who coveted a certain numbers lass,
With his favourite narcotic,
He'd spike her gin to get her erotic
But Corby drank the gin and George has a sore ass.
Who coveted a certain numbers lass,
With his favourite narcotic,
He'd spike her gin to get her erotic
But Corby drank the gin and George has a sore ass.
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Re: Poetry Corner
George, you deserve a round of applause for that!
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Re: Poetry Corner
Thought it would be good if his kids all,Corby wrote:Really? Cool...M. George Quinn wrote:You can say anything in a limerick. Them's the rules.
"An Austrian father named Fritzl,
..."
Had sex before luncheon,
With him in the dungeon,
And comatose one when he hits all.
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Re: Poetry Corner
There was a young girl named Maddie
with a neglectful mummy and daddy.
Despite what they said
Lets face it. She's dead.
Raped by a Portuguese baddie.
with a neglectful mummy and daddy.
Despite what they said
Lets face it. She's dead.
Raped by a Portuguese baddie.
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Re: Poetry Corner
I have to admit I laughed at that - it was the word "baddie" that did it.dinos_the_chemist wrote:There was a young girl named Maddie
with a neglectful mummy and daddy.
Despite what they said
Lets face it. She's dead.
Raped by a Portuguese baddie.
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Re: Poetry Corner
So, do you reckon Des will read these out?
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Re: Poetry Corner
<3dinos_the_chemist wrote:There was a young girl named Maddie
with a neglectful mummy and daddy.
Despite what they said
Lets face it. She's dead.
Raped by a Portuguese baddie.
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Re: Poetry Corner
Wonderful, Gavin and Dinos!
Re: Poetry Corner
I see this thread wandered far enough off topic to be moved.
I'd like to claim some of the credit for that.
I'm beginning to think you're a little strange
I'd like to claim some of the credit for that.
You applaud poems about paedophilia, child kidnapping, incest etc, yet send me a page-long private message about being offended when I used the F-word?Jason Larsen wrote:Wonderful, Gavin and Dinos!
I'm beginning to think you're a little strange
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Re: Poetry Corner
Is that a heart on its side or a visible fart from an invisible bottom?Michael Wallace wrote: <3
(Sorry for using the f-word JL)
I thought this thread had been deleted. I was kind of glad since my stagename is now on the same page as our collective filth. Prospective customers will no doubt be delighted to come across this after the googlebots get here.
George
Last edited by M. George Quinn on Sun May 11, 2008 5:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Poetry Corner
It's whatever you want it to be (and more!).M. George Quinn wrote:Is that a heart on it's side or a visible fart from an invisible bottom?Michael Wallace wrote: <3
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Re: Poetry Corner
I'm sorry, Jon!
Damian is a very nice guy, and Kate and Lara are both sweethearts. I'm glad they liked my poem.
Damian is a very nice guy, and Kate and Lara are both sweethearts. I'm glad they liked my poem.
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Re: Poetry Corner
*bump*
I've just read this thread because someone linked to it in a recap. You guys rock! (though some are a bit ouch!)
Now that we have new presenters (and all the CoCs ), can't wait to hear what you all come up with now!
I've just read this thread because someone linked to it in a recap. You guys rock! (though some are a bit ouch!)
Now that we have new presenters (and all the CoCs ), can't wait to hear what you all come up with now!
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Re: Poetry Corner
Do you need help with your spelling?
Then come up to Leeds and ask Stelling.
Just form a neat queue
He'll soon be with you
But shush at the back, and no yelling!
Then come up to Leeds and ask Stelling.
Just form a neat queue
He'll soon be with you
But shush at the back, and no yelling!