I will decide the winner but unfortunately there is no prize because it's a bit of fun.
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
Moderator: Jon O'Neill
Jon Corby wrote:There was a young lady named Susie
Who acted a bit of a floozie
She flashed me her "Dent"
So up it I went
I'm lucky she's not all that choosy
A lady from 'Strictly Come Dancing'
Conned pikeys with subprime financing
To pay for her op
(as her 'two from the top'
appear to have had some enhancing)
Apparently it won "filthiest limerick" or something (I forget the exact wording). The prize appeared to manifest itself as a limerick about me, written by Damian, which basically said I was a dickheadMichael Wallace wrote:Did Corby's floozie limerick not win the teapot on the show, then?
To be honest, dancing and financing don't rhyme in my accent.Jon Corby wrote:I prefer the Carol one tbh though. While 'Dent' is undoubtably a fabulous euphemism for vag, I wasat how I managed to shoehorn all the Carol references into a bitchy limerick and it all made sense and that.
True, but if it's good enough for the Nolan Sisters, it's good enough for me.Jon O'Neill wrote:To be honest, dancing and financing don't rhyme in my accent.Jon Corby wrote:I prefer the Carol one tbh though. While 'Dent' is undoubtably a fabulous euphemism for vag, I wasat how I managed to shoehorn all the Carol references into a bitchy limerick and it all made sense and that.
If we want our limericks from the poetry thread to be considered, do we need to repost them here a la Corby or will they be included by default?Eoin Monaghan wrote:After having a competition on the show, I decided we should have one on this forum. Limericks should be posted here and closing date is, let's say a week from now, the 16th June.
Reposted here please if that's OK and less of the rudeness might I add!Phil Reynolds wrote:If we want our limericks from the poetry thread to be considered, do we need to repost them here a la Corby or will they be included by default?Eoin Monaghan wrote:After having a competition on the show, I decided we should have one on this forum. Limericks should be posted here and closing date is, let's say a week from now, the 16th June.
OK, here are my collected works. The first one's only slightly rude.Eoin Monaghan wrote:Reposted here please if that's OK and less of the rudeness might I add!Phil Reynolds wrote:If we want our limericks from the poetry thread to be considered, do we need to repost them here a la Corby or will they be included by default?
That gets my vote.Phil Reynolds wrote:I've selected an inverted T
With the target one hundred and three
Six plus five is eleven
And times by the seven...
Oh no, sorry, I've gone wrong.
Ah, good point Matt, will do that on the 16th actually so everyone can vote, but I pick the top 5 though.Matt Morrison wrote:IMO, Phil's 1st (of those four) is the best of his, it's quality. The use of 'erection' is so beautifully loaded.
That and Corby's 'dent' limerick - choosing between them would be a close call.
Don't go all control freak Eoin, make a shortlist and put it to the poll
Eoin Monaghan wrote:and less of the rudeness might I add!Phil Reynolds wrote:If we want our limericks from the poetry thread to be considered, do we need to repost them here a la Corby or will they be included by default?Eoin Monaghan wrote:After having a competition on the show, I decided we should have one on this forum. Limericks should be posted here and closing date is, let's say a week from now, the 16th June.
Me too! I really did LOL - quite embarassing when my housemate was at his PC on the table next to me; a bit like LOL on the train with a funny book. No, on second thoughts, for those of you who've done it, that's much worse!!Mo Warden wrote:That gets my vote.Phil Reynolds wrote:I've selected an inverted T
With the target one hundred and three
Six plus five is eleven
And times by the seven...
Oh no, sorry, I've gone wrong.
I heard all he fed them was toast - but its ok 'cause they're into bread.Gavin Chipper wrote:This one was a joint effort. Corby provided the first line and I finished it off for him.
An Austrian father named Fritzl,
Thought it would be good if his kids all,
Had sex before luncheon,
With him in the dungeon,
And comatose one when he hits all.
And the fourth line's dodgy as well (there's an extra short stress at the beginning). Yours should definitely have won. Or mine. Except I didn't send it in.Jon Corby wrote:The last line doesn't scan very well (of the winning limerick).
I bet she's dreading receiving her teapot now, given that (from the way Jeff struggled to pick it up yesterday) it evidently weighs several pounds even when empty.Derek Hazell wrote:Congratulations to Lily Castles from Summerhill, County Meath.
Yes, I was surprised to see how he appeared to struggle with it.Phil Reynolds wrote:I bet she's dreading receiving her teapot now, given that (from the way Jeff struggled to pick it up yesterday) it evidently weighs several pounds even when empty.Derek Hazell wrote:Congratulations to Lily Castles from Summerhill, County Meath.
Lol well that was a novel way to find out the news!Darren Carter wrote:Anyone offended by bad-taste humour, look away now.......
I only found out because people started commenting "R.I.P. Stephen Gately" on my upload of Craig Harper doing a send-up of Boyzone.Derek Hazell wrote:Lol well that was a novel way to find out the news!
Competition may be over but seeing as it was a limerick, I didn't see much point in starting a new thread when this one is perfectly fine.Jason Larsen wrote:This is all over, then some of you bump this thread?
What?
The thing is I don't know why anyone was surprised by this. He was only known as Stephen Gately as a joke after he came out. They seem to have forgotten that this joke stems from his original name which was and remains Stephen Diesonthe10thoctober2009tely.Derek Hazell wrote:Lol well that was a novel way to find out the news!Darren Carter wrote:Anyone offended by bad-taste humour, look away now.......