Aptobash II

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:26 pm

After the success of Aptobash I, I'm pleased to announce (you guessed it) Aptobash II!

Aptobash II will take place on Sunday 15 February 2009. Valentine's Boxing Day, if you like.

The rounds will be run to a tighter schedule than last time, and I will give byes if games are not completed on schedule; please do not enter if you need to go the gym/take a nap/write a short novel any time between 6:30 and 9:30. The length of the breaks depends on how quickly your preceding game is completed, but there should be enough time to stretch and make a cup of tea.

The format is Goatblitz (10 second Goatdown rounds, LLLLCLLLLCLLLLC.)

The tournament is Swiss paired, so everyone is guaranteed plenty of games, and the match-ups are adapted so that each person gets an opponent who is doing roughly as well as themselves. After 10 such rounds, the top two players will contest a best-of-3 final. Full rules are on the site.

Schedule:
Official kirk-off: 6:20. Please be online by this time.
Round 1: 6:30.
Round 2: 6:45.
Round 3: 7:00.
[Break]
Round 4: 7:25
Round 5: 7:40
Round 6: 7:55
[Break]
Round 7: 8:25
Round 8: 8:40
Round 9: 8:55
Round 10: 9:10.
[Break]
Final: 9:30 approx. Only the two finalists are required for this, so other players are free to go to sleep/begin their short novel.
End: 10 or so.

Sign up must be by 23:59 on Saturday 14 February. Post below to register.

Current sign-ups: Bentley, Bevins, Dent, Garner, Gough, Green, Harmer, Howe, Hulme, Hurrell, Laddiman, Miles, Mubeen, O'Neill, Reams, Rowell, Simmonds, Thomas, Vanniasingham, Volante, Wallace, Wilson, Zussman [23 players]
Dirty drop outs: Bolas, Corby, Sfyris.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:27 pm

Michael Wallace · Post by **Michael Wallace** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:28 pm

Deal.

JimBentley · Post by **JimBentley** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:29 pm

Yes please.

Joseph Bolas · Post by **Joseph Bolas** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:40 pm

Sign me up too please.

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:42 pm

Each reply in this topic must be longer than the previous.

Jimmy Gough · Post by **Jimmy Gough** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:47 pm

Wooooooooo! Gonna be so good. I'm actually planning on being on time to this one

Kirk Bevins · Post by **Kirk Bevins** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:56 pm

Count me in this time please!

Junaid Mubeen · Post by **Junaid Mubeen** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 8:24 pm

Yes please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ian Dent · Post by **Ian Dent** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 8:55 pm

Yes please.

Innis Carson · Post by **Innis Carson** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 9:00 pm

I'll go on the safe side and not sign up for this, it's pretty likely I'll be busy. Hope it goes well for you all.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 9:06 pm

Never mind, Kirk ruined it.

Kirk Bevins · Post by **Kirk Bevins** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 9:09 pm

Jon O'Neill wrote:Never mind, Kirk ruined it.

I couldn't be bothered to conform to silly forum games. Let's play I-spy instead.

Ben Wilson · Post by **Ben Wilson** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:02 pm

Charlie Reams wrote:Each reply in this topic must be longer than the previous.

Absolutely yes you may positively confirm my entry into the second aptobash tournament that shall be contested on the fifteenth of February in the year of our lord two thousand and nine and am I also to assume that when you insisted on each reply being longer than the previous that I was to conform to keeping the entry confirmation reply to one sentence only if so than I hope to be winning in this regard and also that I have caused several breathing difficulties amongst the population of the forum who like to read their messages out loud lunatics that they are I mean who reads messages out loud anyway and why would you want to do such a socially inacceptable thing even if you're on your own in your study much like I am right now even if I'm not wearing my pants on my head I 'd still feel a bit silly but ah well such is life and also woohoo I'm now on my sixth line of this one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic much like Picard said in that one episode of Star Trek that got quoted in that annoying youtube video dedicated to him although admittedly the one long incredibly unbroken sentence bit was rather funny both in the episode and the video and just that thought alone burnt another two lines though admittedly that's only in the writing panel I imagine in the actual post as viewed on the forum it'll be a bit less though it depends on which forum style you use personally I still stick to the old one largely because it's plainer and hurts my eyes less and partially because I'm an old git and dislike change hence why COLIN this year's at the same venue even though it'll be somewhat cramped though I am investigating possible new homes for the tournament from next year by which I mean 2010 and isn't it funny how already we consider 2010 to be 'next year' I mean it was only a while ago that we were heralding in the new millennium (and the year after that the proper new millennium) and everybody thought the world was going to end at midnight on January 1st 2000 and well yes dickheads precisely which time zone were you thinking of when you said midnight or would it just be one wave of doom that swept across the world and even then time zones aren't perfect lines of longitude they bend and curve and don't even get me started on the international date line but then again I had to make sure I was talking about the right thing when I said longitude because that's the one that goes pole to pole and latitude goes parallel like when we talk about the '39th parallel' and so forth as though there's only one of them when everybody knows there'll be other parallels of similar numeration in the southern hemisphere ooh and speaking of parallel whoever uploaded that BoxPizza photo to the wiki or facebook or whatever really is doing the world a favour because if you go on the show or hell even if you go to Leeds and you don't eat a BoxPizza it's like going to Rome and saying 'bollocks to the Sistine Chapel' it really is that pizza is incredible on an entirely new level if only they had something similar like it in Lincoln we might actually eat well after COLIN which as we all know is precisely 22 days before aptobash II which I, Ben Wilson, shall be entering.

Kirk Bevins · Post by **Kirk Bevins** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:06 pm

Ben Wilson wrote: or hell even if you go to Leeds and you don't eat a BoxPizza it's like going to Rome and saying 'bollocks to the Sistine Chapel'

Brilliant.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:18 pm

Ben Wilson wrote:
Charlie Reams wrote:Each reply in this topic must be longer than the previous.
Absolutely yes you may positively confirm my entry into the second aptobash tournament that shall be contested on the fifteenth of February in the year of our lord two thousand and nine and am I also to assume that when you insisted on each reply being longer than the previous that I was to conform to keeping the entry confirmation reply to one sentence only if so than I hope to be winning in this regard and also that I have caused several breathing difficulties amongst the population of the forum who like to read their messages out loud lunatics that they are I mean who reads messages out loud anyway and why would you want to do such a socially inacceptable thing even if you're on your own in your study much like I am right now even if I'm not wearing my pants on my head I 'd still feel a bit silly but ah well such is life and also woohoo I'm now on my sixth line of this one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic much like Picard said in that one episode of Star Trek that got quoted in that annoying youtube video dedicated to him although admittedly the one long incredibly unbroken sentence bit was rather funny both in the episode and the video and just that thought alone burnt another two lines though admittedly that's only in the writing panel I imagine in the actual post as viewed on the forum it'll be a bit less though it depends on which forum style you use personally I still stick to the old one largely because it's plainer and hurts my eyes less and partially because I'm an old git and dislike change hence why COLIN this year's at the same venue even though it'll be somewhat cramped though I am investigating possible new homes for the tournament from next year by which I mean 2010 and isn't it funny how already we consider 2010 to be 'next year' I mean it was only a while ago that we were heralding in the new millennium (and the year after that the proper new millennium) and everybody thought the world was going to end at midnight on January 1st 2000 and well yes dickheads precisely which time zone were you thinking of when you said midnight or would it just be one wave of doom that swept across the world and even then time zones aren't perfect lines of longitude they bend and curve and don't even get me started on the international date line but then again I had to make sure I was talking about the right thing when I said longitude because that's the one that goes pole to pole and latitude goes parallel like when we talk about the '39th parallel' and so forth as though there's only one of them when everybody knows there'll be other parallels of similar numeration in the southern hemisphere ooh and speaking of parallel whoever uploaded that BoxPizza photo to the wiki or facebook or whatever really is doing the world a favour because if you go on the show or hell even if you go to Leeds and you don't eat a BoxPizza it's like going to Rome and saying 'bollocks to the Sistine Chapel' it really is that pizza is incredible on an entirely new level if only they had something similar like it in Lincoln we might actually eat well after COLIN which as we all know is precisely 22 days before aptobash II which I, Ben Wilson, shall be entering.

This is the best thing you've ever done. Better than COLIN.

Michael Wallace · Post by **Michael Wallace** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:27 pm

I find there are two ways to remember which is longitude and which is latitude. If you want to sound clever you say you recall the longitude problem, if you don't you think about what shape your mouth goes when you say each word.

(I wonder how many people will have read that and thought it entirely off-topic, rather than only moderately...)

Paul Howe · Post by **Paul Howe** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 11:22 pm

APTOOOOOOOOOOOOBAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!

(If you're thinking of extending the above for 60000 characters, it breaks the forum)

I'm in, by the way.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:27 am

Excellent.

Kai Laddiman · Post by **Kai Laddiman** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:09 am

Translations of 'I'm in': Spanish = Estoy en; French = Je suis dans; German = Ich bin in; Italian = Sono in; Dutch = Ik ben in; Portuguese = Estou em; Norwegian = Jeg er i. Basically, I'm in.

Dinos Sfyris · Post by **Dinos Sfyris** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 1:00 pm

Count me in. Might be working as its half term week and a Saturday but if I'm given a shift I'll swap it with Emma. If we both happen to be working I'll give you at least a week's notice that I'll be pulling out, and someone else will have to win.

Dinos

ps Sorry everyone at home who heard my naked monologue in the study

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 2:10 pm

Dinos Sfyris wrote:Count me in. Might be working as its half term week and a Saturday

15 Feb is a Sunday.

Allan Harmer · Post by **Allan Harmer** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:09 pm

I would like to enter please Charlie

Sorry I haven't got half an hour to write up a rambling tarradiddle to keep up with Ben

Cheers!

Al.

Junaid Mubeen · Post by **Junaid Mubeen** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:35 pm

Kai Laddiman wrote:Translations of 'I'm in': Spanish = Estoy en; French = Je suis dans; German = Ich bin in; Italian = Sono in; Dutch = Ik ben in; Portuguese = Estou em; Norwegian = Jeg er i. Basically, I'm in.

Please don't tell me you can actually speak fluently in all of these languages.

Gary Male · Post by **Gary Male** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:00 pm

At the risk of sounding like Kirk, I'll have to declare myself out due to darts commitments.

Jimmy Gough · Post by **Jimmy Gough** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:04 pm

Junaid Mubeen wrote:
Kai Laddiman wrote:Translations of 'I'm in': Spanish = Estoy en; French = Je suis dans; German = Ich bin in; Italian = Sono in; Dutch = Ik ben in; Portuguese = Estou em; Norwegian = Jeg er i. Basically, I'm in.
Please don't tell me you can actually speak fluently in all of these languages.

You can't?

. I expect better from an Oxford student.

Kirk Bevins · Post by **Kirk Bevins** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:09 pm

Gary Male wrote:At the risk of sounding like Kirk, I'll have to declare myself out due to darts commitments.

Ha. On a Sunday? Must be a superleague match, am I right? I was relentless tonight and won 3/3. I'm happy

Phil Reynolds · Post by **Phil Reynolds** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:16 pm

Junaid Mubeen wrote:
Kai Laddiman wrote:Translations of 'I'm in': Spanish = Estoy en; French = Je suis dans; German = Ich bin in; Italian = Sono in; Dutch = Ik ben in; Portuguese = Estou em; Norwegian = Jeg er i. Basically, I'm in.
Please don't tell me you can actually speak fluently in all of these languages.

Judging by those soi-disant 'translations', no.

Ian Volante · Post by **Ian Volante** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:27 pm

My korfball commitments should have finished by that time, so I'm in.

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:28 pm

I'm pretty sure Mike was joking. Can we stick to the topic please? It'll be annoying if I miss someone's entry because it's buried in loads of other stuff.

Howard Somerset · Post by **Howard Somerset** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 12:44 pm

I'll be off skiing for the half-term week, so I'm afraid I wont be around for you all to beat.

Hope it goes well, and look forward to reading about it later.

Karen Pearson · Post by **Karen Pearson** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 10:39 pm

I'm afraid I'm unlikely to be able to make this. I shall be coming to the end of my 3 week holiday in Florida (not wishing to make anyone jealous of course!) and think I may prefer to do something outside in the warmth on a Sunday afternoon. Of course, if it rains (heaven forbid!!) I may be a late (and grumpy) entrant.

Have fun!

Matthew Green · Post by **Matthew Green** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:58 am

Count me in.

tomrowell · Post by **tomrowell** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 7:21 pm

sign me up. i will be whipping boy

Adam Dexter · Post by **Adam Dexter** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 7:25 pm

Jimmy Gough wrote:
Junaid Mubeen wrote:
Kai Laddiman wrote:Translations of 'I'm in': Spanish = Estoy en; French = Je suis dans; German = Ich bin in; Italian = Sono in; Dutch = Ik ben in; Portuguese = Estou em; Norwegian = Jeg er i. Basically, I'm in.
Please don't tell me you can actually speak fluently in all of these languages.
You can't? . I expect better from an Oxford student.

Well that's why he didn't try for Cambridge, obviously

Oliver Garner · Post by **Oliver Garner** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:23 pm

I am in.

Lee Simmonds · Post by **Lee Simmonds** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 9:33 pm

Count me in please.

Callum Laddiman · Post by **Callum Laddiman** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 4:23 pm

I don't think i'll attend this one but will almost certainly spectate and be online.

Have fun everyone entering.

Eoin Monaghan · Post by **Eoin Monaghan** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:18 pm

I will be online but won't compete. Have fun everyone ENTERING. (or is it enetering?)

Callum Laddiman · Post by **Callum Laddiman** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:43 pm

Oi you!

Dan Vanniasingham · Post by **Dan Vanniasingham** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:43 pm

I'm in

Stuart · Post by **Stuart** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:46 pm

Count me in.

Ta

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:55 pm

Stuart wrote:Count me in.

Ta

Who are you?

Rob Thomas · Post by **Rob Thomas** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:20 pm

Count me in. And I shall be the whipping boy's whipping boy.

Jeremy Miles · Post by **Jeremy Miles** » Mon Feb 09, 2009 1:04 pm

I'm in.

James Hurrell · Post by **James Hurrell** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 2:49 pm

A late entrant, but they all count (took me 4 weeks to talk my wife around - managed it on Valentine's day too!)

Count me in please Charlie.

Chris Corby · Post by **Chris Corby** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:46 pm

James Hurrell wrote:A late entrant, but they all count (took me 4 weeks to talk my wife around - managed it on Valentine's day too!)

Count me in please Charlie.

You're still married?

Neil Zussman · Post by **Neil Zussman** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 5:36 pm

An even later entrant, but I will be able to make make it, so put me down please.

Kai Laddiman · Post by **Kai Laddiman** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:30 pm

Absolutely yes you may positively confirm my entry into the second aptobash tournament that shall be contested on the fifteenth of February in the year of our lord two thousand and nine and am I also to assume that when you insisted on each reply being longer than the previous that I was to conform to keeping the entry confirmation reply to one sentence only if so than I hope to be winning in this regard and also that I have caused several breathing difficulties amongst the population of the forum who like to read their messages out loud lunatics that they are I mean who reads messages out loud anyway and why would you want to do such a socially inacceptable thing even if you're on your own in your study much like I am right now even if I'm not wearing my pants on my head I 'd still feel a bit silly but ah well such is life and also woohoo I'm now on my sixth line of this one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic much like Picard said in that one episode of Star Trek that got quoted in that annoying youtube video dedicated to him although admittedly the one long incredibly unbroken sentence bit was rather funny both in the episode and the video and just that thought alone burnt another two lines though admittedly that's only in the writing panel I imagine in the actual post as viewed on the forum it'll be a bit less though it depends on which forum style you use personally I still stick to the old one largely because it's plainer and hurts my eyes less and partially because I'm an old git and dislike change hence why COLIN this year's at the same venue even though it'll be somewhat cramped though I am investigating possible new homes for the tournament from next year by which I mean 2010 and isn't it funny how already we consider 2010 to be 'next year' I mean it was only a while ago that we were heralding in the new millennium (and the year after that the proper new millennium) and everybody thought the world was going to end at midnight on January 1st 2000 and well yes dickheads precisely which time zone were you thinking of when you said midnight or would it just be one wave of doom that swept across the world and even then time zones aren't perfect lines of longitude they bend and curve and don't even get me started on the international date line but then again I had to make sure I was talking about the right thing when I said longitude because that's the one that goes pole to pole and latitude goes parallel like when we talk about the '39th parallel' and so forth as though there's only one of them when everybody knows there'll be other parallels of similar numeration in the southern hemisphere ooh and speaking of parallel whoever uploaded that BoxPizza photo to the wiki or facebook or whatever really is doing the world a favour because if you go on the show or hell even if you go to Leeds and you don't eat a BoxPizza it's like going to Rome and saying 'bollocks to the Sistine Chapel' it really is that pizza is incredible on an entirely new level if only they had something similar like it in Lincoln we might actually eat well after COLIN which as we all know is precisely 22 days before aptobash II which I, Kai A. Laddiman, shall be entering and incase you hadn't noticed I just copied and pasted this from the original above post by Benjamin J. Wilson (otherwise known as Nebagram) and that once again I confirm that as long as Charlie gets apterous working again by the time this truly brilliant tournament commences that I shall be entering, and if you would like to see how I am doing then skip to the bottom of the table (unless I persuade my younger brother Callum A. Laddiman to participate in this masterclass tournament and I draw him three times) and you will probably see my name somewhere also if you haven't already apply to go on the amazing show known by the official name of Countdown and travel up or down to Leeds and visit BoxPizza and eat loadsa pizza and if you make it to the finals make sure you say hi to Kirk from me as he will be there too by the way good luck and just a little note to say what a wonderful team they are Kate Lara Damian Sarah Demi Danielle the whole lot of them oh and don't forget the amazing Sir Jeff Stelling and Miss Riley who are absolutely outstanding you should seriously talk to them they are amazing people and I am coming to the end of my sentence now so I would like to say goodbye to everyone and good luck if you are cool hence you are participating in Aptobash II which is taking place on the aforementioned date.

Michael Wallace · Post by **Michael Wallace** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:58 pm

Oh cocks, I woke up at 5pm today, this is going to take some careful planning if I'm going to both get enough work done and be available for the aptobash.

Perhaps some blue bolt is in order...

Ben Wilson · Post by **Ben Wilson** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 10:51 pm

Kai Laddiman wrote:incase you hadn't noticed I just copied and pasted this from the original above post by Benjamin J. Wilson (otherwise known as Nebagram).

I had, and you spelt my sodding* name wrong.

*Sorry Kai.

Martin Gardner · Post by **Martin Gardner** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:05 pm

Kai Laddiman wrote:Translations of 'I'm in': Spanish = Estoy en; French = Je suis dans; German = Ich bin in; Italian = Sono in; Dutch = Ik ben in; Portuguese = Estou em; Norwegian = Jeg er i. Basically, I'm in.

Word for word, yes. Je serai là is the best one for French, I sort of feel like I should know this for Spanish as well, but I don't. Tengo ganas (I can't wait) comes to mind.

Martin Gardner · Post by **Martin Gardner** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:06 pm

Oh, is Apterous not working, or is it just because my computer is playing up?

Ian Volante · Post by **Ian Volante** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:41 pm

Martin Gardner wrote:Oh, is Apterous not working, or is it just because my computer is playing up?

It's been borked since yesterday. It needs to be (apto)bashed.

Andrew Hulme · Post by **Andrew Hulme** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 1:11 am

Count me in if it isnt too late

Kirk Bevins · Post by **Kirk Bevins** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:06 am

Kai Laddiman wrote:and if you make it to the finals make sure you say hi to Kirk from me as he will be there too by the way good luck

By the way, Kai is making this up. Stop bloody guessing and wait two more weeks.

Kai Laddiman · Post by **Kai Laddiman** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 12:11 pm

Martin Gardner wrote:
Kai Laddiman wrote:Translations of 'I'm in': Spanish = Estoy en; French = Je suis dans; German = Ich bin in; Italian = Sono in; Dutch = Ik ben in; Portuguese = Estou em; Norwegian = Jeg er i. Basically, I'm in.
Word for word, yes. Je serai là is the best one for French, I sort of feel like I should know this for Spanish as well, but I don't. Tengo ganas (I can't wait) comes to mind.

This is my brain.

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:27 pm

IT'S TODAY!

Please check that your name is on this list, if you're expecting to play. The list also includes apterous ratings at the time of going to press:

Bentley, Jim 1538
Bevins, Kirk 2108
Dent, Ian 645
Garner, Oliver 1400
Gough, Jimmy 1398
Green, Matthew 1491
Harmer, Allan 1214
Howe, Paul 2037
Hulme, Andrew 1483
Hurrell, James 1678
Laddiman, Kai 1735
Miles, Jeremy 979
Mubeen, Junaid 1837
O'Neill, Jon 1726
Rowell, Tom 1183
Simmonds, Lee 1521
Thomas, Rob 1061
Vanniasingham, Dan 1637
Volante, Ian 1324
Wallace, Michael 1281
Wilson, Ben 1618
Zussman, Neil 1390

If you're going to drop out, let me know sooner rather than later.

JackHurst · Post by **JackHurst** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:44 pm

I know im too late to sign up, but is it ok if i show up just incase you have any spaces that need filling up?

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:45 pm

JackHurst wrote:I know im too late to sign up, but is it ok if i show up just incase you have any spaces that need filling up?

You can and I do