Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Moderator: Michael Wallace
Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
An eccentric billionaire gives you the chance to win £10,000,000.
The rules are as follows:
You nominate 3 different sports / games that you will play.
The billionaire recruits a candidate deemed to have the best chance of beating you at all 3 of those games.
You then play against the candidate at all of those 3 games that you nominated. Provided you win at least 1, you get the £10,000,000. If they win all three then they get the money.
What 3 games do you pick?
The rules are as follows:
You nominate 3 different sports / games that you will play.
The billionaire recruits a candidate deemed to have the best chance of beating you at all 3 of those games.
You then play against the candidate at all of those 3 games that you nominated. Provided you win at least 1, you get the £10,000,000. If they win all three then they get the money.
What 3 games do you pick?
- Mark Deeks
- Fanatic
- Posts: 2446
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:15 am
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Sarcasm, the original Destruction Derby on the Playstation, cutting perfectly round fingernails using massive kitchen scissors.
Eoin Monaghan wrote:
He may not be liked on here, but you have to give some credit to Mark
- Jon O'Neill
- Ginger Ninja
- Posts: 4549
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:45 am
- Location: London, UK
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Game 1. Who is taller?
Game 2. Who is shorter?
Game 3. Countdown
Game 2. Who is shorter?
Game 3. Countdown
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Game 3 should have been finding loopholes.Jon O'Neill wrote: ↑Sun Apr 30, 2023 7:37 pm Game 1. Who is taller?
Game 2. Who is shorter?
Game 3. Countdown
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
I've heard that you use the grater on your toenails when you've ran out of parmesan.Mark Deeks wrote: ↑Sun Apr 30, 2023 7:36 pm Sarcasm, the original Destruction Derby on the Playstation, cutting perfectly round fingernails using massive kitchen scissors.
- Mark Deeks
- Fanatic
- Posts: 2446
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:15 am
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Holy balls you're posh.
Eoin Monaghan wrote:
He may not be liked on here, but you have to give some credit to Mark
-
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1785
- Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:21 pm
- Location: Dublin
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
I would just kill the billionaire and take all his money, but also tetris.
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 13307
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
If I was the billionaire I'd probably specify some sort of skill element. Possibly difficult to define exactly, but it should at least be possible for you to lose against anyone. That said:Jon O'Neill wrote: ↑Sun Apr 30, 2023 7:37 pm Game 1. Who is taller?
Game 2. Who is shorter?
Game 3. Countdown
1. Knowledge of my life
2. Realistic impression of me
3. What am I thinking about?
Although I don't know why the billionaire didn't think to ban games specifically relating to the person in question in this scenario.
So maybe:
1. Knowledge of 1980s F1
2. Knowledge of voting methods
3. Super Monaco GP on the Game Gear
Edit - Though what about games relating to people you know? How do you draw the line between them and celebrities? Or local places. Your country; your county; your village; your house?
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
So we just need someone exactly the same height as you who can beat you at countdownJon O'Neill wrote: ↑Sun Apr 30, 2023 7:37 pm Game 1. Who is taller?
Game 2. Who is shorter?
Game 3. Countdown
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Update from the Billionaire:
You can pick team games. He will use his wealth and access to advanced science to create temporary clones of you and the candidate so that there are enough copies of each of you to fill the teams.
He's also displeased at the nonsense suggestions such as "Impressions of Gavin Chipper" and "Manicuring Mark Deeks". The rules are now any of:
- Sports that have been included in the Olympics
- Games / Sports that have had an official world championship for at least the last 5 years
- Adaptations of TV game shows that have existed for at least the past 5 years
- Video games that have sold over 1 million copies
- Board games that have sold over a million copies
Looking forward to the additional loop holes that get found
You can pick team games. He will use his wealth and access to advanced science to create temporary clones of you and the candidate so that there are enough copies of each of you to fill the teams.
He's also displeased at the nonsense suggestions such as "Impressions of Gavin Chipper" and "Manicuring Mark Deeks". The rules are now any of:
- Sports that have been included in the Olympics
- Games / Sports that have had an official world championship for at least the last 5 years
- Adaptations of TV game shows that have existed for at least the past 5 years
- Video games that have sold over 1 million copies
- Board games that have sold over a million copies
Looking forward to the additional loop holes that get found
- Johnny Canuck
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1650
- Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 10:44 pm
- Location: Montréal 😃, Québec 😕, Canada 😃
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Snakes and Ladders, Chutes and Ladders, Rock-Paper-Scissors (one-off). 7 out of 8 shot.
I'm not dead yet. In a rut right now because of stress from work. I'll be back later in S89. I also plan to bring back the Mastergram - if I can find a way to run a timer or clock through pure MediaWiki without having to upload to Vimeo every time.
- Mark Deeks
- Fanatic
- Posts: 2446
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:15 am
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
I'm telling you, write the goddamn cheque, Buffet. Destruction Derby. It's over for you. 99s every time, I was a machine. Still am. Definitely haven't wasted my life or anything.
Anyway, this is all just a thinly veiled pretense for someone to just ask Jack what he would do so he can say pool and Countdown, so let's get that out of the way.
Hey Jack, what would you choose?
(And if you don't take the "some people can beat me at Countdown, just not you Mark" tap-in of an open goal, I'll be sorely disappointed.)
Anyway, this is all just a thinly veiled pretense for someone to just ask Jack what he would do so he can say pool and Countdown, so let's get that out of the way.
Hey Jack, what would you choose?
(And if you don't take the "some people can beat me at Countdown, just not you Mark" tap-in of an open goal, I'll be sorely disappointed.)
Eoin Monaghan wrote:
He may not be liked on here, but you have to give some credit to Mark
- Mark Deeks
- Fanatic
- Posts: 2446
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:15 am
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
They used to have town planning in the Olympics. I reckon I could plan the shit out of a town.
Eoin Monaghan wrote:
He may not be liked on here, but you have to give some credit to Mark
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Buffet far too sensible for this sort of nonsense. Feels more like a Elon Musk thing. He'd turn it into some sort of reality series to be exclusive to Twitter*
*Disclaimer I don't know how Twitter works.
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Isn't Paul Erdunast really good at Tetris? If you are picking Countdown as your 2nd the. I'd advise you to pick something you expect to definitely be better than Paul atMark James wrote: ↑Mon May 01, 2023 12:12 am I would just kill the billionaire and take all his money, but also tetris.
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 13307
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
What happens to the clones afterwards? How would you know you weren't one of the clones?
- Jon O'Neill
- Ginger Ninja
- Posts: 4549
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:45 am
- Location: London, UK
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
I can't think of anyone who could do me at Countdown and cricket, so I will go with that plus the marathon, which I have never done.JackHurst wrote: ↑Mon May 01, 2023 12:52 pm Update from the Billionaire:
You can pick team games. He will use his wealth and access to advanced science to create temporary clones of you and the candidate so that there are enough copies of each of you to fill the teams.
He's also displeased at the nonsense suggestions such as "Impressions of Gavin Chipper" and "Manicuring Mark Deeks". The rules are now any of:
- Sports that have been included in the Olympics
- Games / Sports that have had an official world championship for at least the last 5 years
- Adaptations of TV game shows that have existed for at least the past 5 years
- Video games that have sold over 1 million copies
- Board games that have sold over a million copies
Looking forward to the additional loop holes that get found
I don't think temporary clones is the best way to get around the team sport issue. For example, I'd back a team of 11 clones of a League 2 midfielder over 11 clones of certain Premier League goalkeepers, but it would be hard to argue that a L2 midfielder is "better" than a PL GK.
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 13307
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Maybe a better solution would be to clone the other players. E.g. you take the role of some particular Man Utd striker. Your opponent does the same and has the same team-mates as you in the Man Utd v Man Utd clash.
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Edit: oh ignore me - you've said any world championship....JackHurst wrote: ↑Mon May 01, 2023 12:52 pm Update from the Billionaire:
You can pick team games. He will use his wealth and access to advanced science to create temporary clones of you and the candidate so that there are enough copies of each of you to fill the teams.
He's also displeased at the nonsense suggestions such as "Impressions of Gavin Chipper" and "Manicuring Mark Deeks". The rules are now any of:
- Sports that have been included in the Olympics
- Games / Sports that have had an official world championship for at least the last 5 years
- Adaptations of TV game shows that have existed for at least the past 5 years
- Video games that have sold over 1 million copies
- Board games that have sold over a million copies
Looking forward to the additional loop holes that get found
It seems a shame for your billionaire not to include feats of mental agility - like matey we met at MSO who was world memory champion (or something like that - I can't remember...). Also skills that might not (yet) have made the Olympics such as unicycling.... Pinball machines! Rally driving! Craft things - knitting, cooking.... I entered the all England stone skimming championships once - dunno if there's a world event...!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Pridmore - that's our man.
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 13307
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
I think you might be surprised at the number of people that have made up a game and had an "official world championship" among friends or family. If it's been going 5 years, then bingo.
How much adapting can be done?- Adaptations of TV game shows that have existed for at least the past 5 years
- Thomas Carey
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1480
- Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 4:17 pm
- Location: North-West of Bradford
- Contact:
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Did a lot of video games as a teenager but don't thing I was amazingly good at any other than brain training memory type stuff. But that and the kind of board games I'm good at are probably things that people better than me at countdown are also good at. So not them.
Except, German. There's a German version of who wants to be a millionaire, the chase etc, so I pick a game of English countdown and some generic German quiz. I'm not the strongest quizzer but there probably aren't many German speakers who can beat me at English countdown.
For the third one I just need to keep the Matt Hamers of this world away. This annoyingly means I can't use parkrun because Matt is stupidly quick, and I'm useless at any other sport. So for my third one I'm picking eating contest, bring it Matt.
Except, German. There's a German version of who wants to be a millionaire, the chase etc, so I pick a game of English countdown and some generic German quiz. I'm not the strongest quizzer but there probably aren't many German speakers who can beat me at English countdown.
For the third one I just need to keep the Matt Hamers of this world away. This annoyingly means I can't use parkrun because Matt is stupidly quick, and I'm useless at any other sport. So for my third one I'm picking eating contest, bring it Matt.
cheers maus
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Bit of a rogue choice given that it's a game of total luck.
-
- Devotee
- Posts: 935
- Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2016 12:42 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
If I'm allowed to "adapt" Countdown to Greek Countdown (not an official show as far as I know, but you did say we were allowed to adapt shows), then
- Greek Countdown
- English Countdown
- Table tennis
I reckon the average Greek speaker could probably beat me at Greek Countdown, but my tactic here is that I'm decent enough such that I don't think any of the top English players could realistically beat me in a 15 rounder of it, and I'm pretty confident that anyone who could beat me at Greek would likely not be able to hold a candle to me at English. Throw in the table tennis and I think I'd be pretty certain I'd be pocketing the ten million quid. Prime Paul Erdunast would have had a decent chance of beating me at both languages, but by now he's almost certainly rusty enough that I'd at least take the English, and I never heard of him being particularly good at table tennis.
If I'm not allowed to have Greek Countdown, then maybe:
- English Countdown
- Table tennis
- Wii tennis/bowling (okay nobody fucking plays on a Wii anymore, but it's definitely sold more than a million copies and I'm pretty certain I'd still be able to beat virtually anyone at it because I used to play it relentlessly)
I have to doff my cap to Johnny Canuck's approach of simply picking three games that are entirely based on luck, and reasoning he's got a 7/8 chance of taking the money. That's a pretty strong approach, because even if there's one person on the planet who is absolute godly at every skill-based game, it's impossible for anyone to learn to be good at games that are purely luck and therefore you've a guaranteed 7/8 chance, which is pretty good.
- Greek Countdown
- English Countdown
- Table tennis
I reckon the average Greek speaker could probably beat me at Greek Countdown, but my tactic here is that I'm decent enough such that I don't think any of the top English players could realistically beat me in a 15 rounder of it, and I'm pretty confident that anyone who could beat me at Greek would likely not be able to hold a candle to me at English. Throw in the table tennis and I think I'd be pretty certain I'd be pocketing the ten million quid. Prime Paul Erdunast would have had a decent chance of beating me at both languages, but by now he's almost certainly rusty enough that I'd at least take the English, and I never heard of him being particularly good at table tennis.
If I'm not allowed to have Greek Countdown, then maybe:
- English Countdown
- Table tennis
- Wii tennis/bowling (okay nobody fucking plays on a Wii anymore, but it's definitely sold more than a million copies and I'm pretty certain I'd still be able to beat virtually anyone at it because I used to play it relentlessly)
I have to doff my cap to Johnny Canuck's approach of simply picking three games that are entirely based on luck, and reasoning he's got a 7/8 chance of taking the money. That's a pretty strong approach, because even if there's one person on the planet who is absolute godly at every skill-based game, it's impossible for anyone to learn to be good at games that are purely luck and therefore you've a guaranteed 7/8 chance, which is pretty good.
-
- Acolyte
- Posts: 119
- Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2022 8:47 am
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
The card game "big 2".
Flag quiz.
Rock paper scissors.
I'd back myself in either of the top two against basically anybody but on the off chance i lose at both, might aswell throw a random chance one in to try and secure the bag
Flag quiz.
Rock paper scissors.
I'd back myself in either of the top two against basically anybody but on the off chance i lose at both, might aswell throw a random chance one in to try and secure the bag
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
The Billionaire is very appreciative of the input so far and has decided he will devise a new game based on many of these ideas put together. Update to come in the next couple of days. Mark Deeks is set to become a very rich man!
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 13307
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
I'm surprised that people are using rock, paper, scissors (the American version of papers, scissors, stone) as a form of randomness. You can be psychologically outmanoeuvred. It's not simply random.
- Johnny Canuck
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1650
- Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 10:44 pm
- Location: Montréal 😃, Québec 😕, Canada 😃
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Even on the first go? Hence why I specified one-off.Gavin Chipper wrote: ↑Thu May 04, 2023 9:30 am You can be psychologically outmanoeuvred. It's not simply random.
I'm not dead yet. In a rut right now because of stress from work. I'll be back later in S89. I also plan to bring back the Mastergram - if I can find a way to run a timer or clock through pure MediaWiki without having to upload to Vimeo every time.
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 13307
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Depends. They might be able to "read" you or influence you. Plus you can't really specify a one-off if there has to be a winner because it might be a draw.Johnny Canuck wrote: ↑Thu May 04, 2023 12:01 pmEven on the first go? Hence why I specified one-off.Gavin Chipper wrote: ↑Thu May 04, 2023 9:30 am You can be psychologically outmanoeuvred. It's not simply random.
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
1. Countdown
2. 5-a-side
3. Piano improvisation
2. 5-a-side
3. Piano improvisation
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 6346
- Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 3:37 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
1) guessing 1980s chart hits from intros .(10 seconds max)
2) Being able to guess when to stop a stopwatch after exactly 30 seconds.
3) speed reading a book upside down
2) Being able to guess when to stop a stopwatch after exactly 30 seconds.
3) speed reading a book upside down
GR MSL GNDT MSS NGVWL SRND NNLYC NNCT
- Matt Morrison
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 7822
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:27 pm
- Location: London
- Contact:
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Reminds me of a guy at uni who was incredibly proud that he had "mastered" masturbation by reducing it down to an exercise in barebones efficiency. Soft (like "oh, here's an idea out of the blue" soft) to finished in considerably less than a minute I recall. Not sure it was really in the spirit of anything good, but definitely would have been one of his three.
-
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1785
- Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:21 pm
- Location: Dublin
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
How do you win a wanking competition? Come first.
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Fixed it 4 u
-
- Devotee
- Posts: 935
- Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2016 12:42 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Yes but did anybody ever witness this assumed ability?Matt Morrison wrote: ↑Wed May 10, 2023 10:04 pm Reminds me of a guy at uni who was incredibly proud that he had "mastered" masturbation by reducing it down to an exercise in barebones efficiency. Soft (like "oh, here's an idea out of the blue" soft) to finished in considerably less than a minute I recall. Not sure it was really in the spirit of anything good, but definitely would have been one of his three.
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 13307
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
Well there is a recognised competition for him.Matt Morrison wrote: ↑Wed May 10, 2023 10:04 pm Reminds me of a guy at uni who was incredibly proud that he had "mastered" masturbation by reducing it down to an exercise in barebones efficiency. Soft (like "oh, here's an idea out of the blue" soft) to finished in considerably less than a minute I recall. Not sure it was really in the spirit of anything good, but definitely would have been one of his three.
- Ian Volante
- Postmaster General
- Posts: 3967
- Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:15 pm
- Location: Edinburgh
- Contact:
Re: Nobody in the world could beat you at X Y and Z
uh-huh
meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles