Cooking

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Jennifer Steadman
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Cooking

Post by Jennifer Steadman »

Can you cook? Do you cook? What do you cook? Are you a good cook? If you were on Come Dine With Me, what would your starter/main/desserts be?

Most importantly, which C4Cers do you think would be good cooks? Zarte bloody should be with the amount of food shows he watches. I reckon Matt Morrison would be good too, but Corby would be shit even though he'd try really hard.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

I watch food programmes to tut at their errors, not to learn...

But yes, I cook a lot. As pretty much everyone knows. But I felt I should point this out anyway.

I'm also pleased to see that you recognised the existence of starters in your post.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Jennifer Steadman »

Zarte Siempre wrote:I watch food programmes to tut at their errors, not to learn...

But yes, I cook a lot. As pretty much everyone knows. But I felt I should point this out anyway.

I'm also pleased to see that you recognised the existence of starters in your post.
STARTERS MAINS AND DESSERTS FOR CDWM PLEASE.

Of course starters exist, they're just pointless. *drops bait, runs*
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

*uses bait to catch a fish and slaps you around the face with it*

And I'm thinking, FFS woman. I have to find one with some balance. And that can be adapted should a full-blown veggie decide to turn up. Have you never watched CDWM?!
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Re: Cooking

Post by Jon Corby »

I made a rather splendid 'Bakewell' tart for my Dad the other day. Instead of making in in a pastry case, I made it in a shortbread biscuit case. It was very delicious, though I say it myself.

I have presented 'Bakewell' thusly, because I'm not the Bakewell tart shop in Bakewell so can't call it a Bakewell tart. And that's fair enough because my tart, splendid as it is isn't a patch on theirs.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

Jon Corby wrote:I made a rather splendid 'Bakewell' tart for my Dad the other day. Instead of making in in a pastry case, I made it in a shortbread biscuit case. It was very delicious, though I say it myself.

I have presented 'Bakewell' thusly, because I'm not the Bakewell tart shop in Bakewell so can't call it a Bakewell tart. And that's fair enough because my tart, splendid as it is isn't a patch on theirs.
This is probably one of the loveliest posts I've ever seen from you. I could almost tear up.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Phil Reynolds »

I tried to start a similar thread once but it never really caught fire (unlike my dinner last night, haha I am funny).

Rumour has it that Matt Morrison is a fully blown vegetarian but I wasn't involved so can neither confirm nor deny.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Gavin Chipper »

I've always thought "cooking" is a stupid word for making and preparing food. Sticking some bread in the toaster is cooking.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Ian Volante »

I'm a pretty good cook. Never thought that watching other people do it would ever be entertaining though. Still don't.

If you want a starter, have some damn soup.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

ARGH. WHEN I TAKE OVER, PEOPLE WILL BE REQUIRED TO APPRECIATE STARTERS.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Jon Corby »

What's this thing with starters? Starters are clearly awesome, has someone said they aren't? Desserts are pretty meh, on the other hand.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Ian Volante »

They're fine, I just don't make them. They also get in the way of the meal.

Also, there's never enough vegetables, gravy, or custard.

"Your hock of lamb may be beautifully presented, sitting atop the veg, but most of my plate is empty, and you've provided a forkful of mashed potato, a sprout, two green beans and one fucking baby carrot."

I'm an oik, and that means I pay for volume (and to an extent quality) of food, not an art installation.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Graeme Cole »

Jon Corby wrote:What's this thing with starters? Starters are clearly awesome, has someone said they aren't? Desserts are pretty meh, on the other hand.
The only reason starters exist on a menu is to require the table to do even more faffing about with the menu to come to some consensus about whether everyone else is bothering with starters, on top of all the existing faff of everyone deciding what main course they want.

Sure, some starters are quite nice to eat, and I'll normally have one if everyone else is, but I'm not really sure what they're for. They just get in the way.

I wouldn't miss them if they suddenly ceased to exist everywhere. Start with the main course. Cut to the chase. Straight in. Bish bash bosh.

Desserts, on the other hand, are the sweet thing to look forward to at the end of the meal, provided you're not already too full of food because someone decided starters were a thing.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Jon Corby »

Desserts are for chicks. "No thanks, I won't have some more meat, I'll save room for some chocolate."

Jesus.

"Get rid of starters everywhere" shall we Graeme? I give it a month before every Chinese restaurant in the country has been forced out of business. But maybe that's what you want? What do you have against the Chinese, Graeme? This is all getting very unpleasant.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Jennifer Steadman »

Starters are just meals that are too shit to be a main course.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

Jon Corby wrote:Desserts are for chicks. "No thanks, I won't have some more meat, I'll save room for some chocolate."

Jesus.

"Get rid of starters everywhere" shall we Graeme? I give it a month before every Chinese restaurant in the country has been forced out of business. But maybe that's what you want? What do you have against the Chinese, Graeme? This is all getting very unpleasant.
*high fives*

Corby for business secretary.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Mark James »

Ian Volante wrote:If you want a starter, have some damn soup.
You say that as if there's something wrong with soup. Soup is amazing. I love a good starter. One of the best I ever had was at a wedding, a little chicken in lattice pastry thing with an amazing sauce that I still don't know what it was but was the best sauce I ever tasted.

I don't cook though. I hate preparing food. As much as I like food though, most of the time I just see eating as a task to be endured. If we didn't have to eat to survive I wouldn't miss it. So if I really don't like eating I'm certainly not going to like having to making it first.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Ian Volante »

Mark James wrote:
Ian Volante wrote:If you want a starter, have some damn soup.
You say that as if there's something wrong with soup.
I love soup. I just don't want to spoil the main meal with it. Unless I'm getting fed pretty food with no bulk (see above).
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Re: Cooking

Post by Gavin Chipper »

There's nothing wrong with starters. Or puddings (or desserts if you prefer). Starters are probably a bit much if you're making a meal, but if you go out to a top class restaurant like Pizza Hut, you're obviously going to have a garlic bread with cheese first. If you go out for an Indian, you can have two starter courses - poppadoms and a regular starter like onion bhaji or something. Obviously you can have your onion bhaji with your main meal and it won't really make any difference though.

And having something sweet afterwards is always a bonus.

And remember, if you're going out for a meal or even if you're eating in but this meal is some sort of big event, you're allowed to eat ten times as much as a normal meal, so starter and pudding are definitely on the cards.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Matt Morrison »

Jennifer Steadman wrote:I reckon Matt Morrison would be good too
I may have occasionally posted some of my nice cooking on Facebook or something but more likely you're just politely calling me fat.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Matt Morrison »

Gavin Chipper wrote:I've always thought "cooking" is a stupid word for making and preparing food. Sticking some bread in the toaster is cooking.
I think you're being a dick as usual for the sake of being a dick, which I admit you do pretty awesomely, but you have stumbled upon something half-sensible here.

What do you call it when you make an awesome salad (sorry, person who was going to quote me and say there is no such thing, you can't do that now) or some other dish that requires no cooking? Preparing? Saying you're an awesome preparer sounds a bit weird.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Matt Morrison »

Gavin Chipper wrote:if you go out to a top class restaurant like Pizza Hut, you're obviously going to have a garlic bread with cheese first.
I always think this is a surefire sign of someone who has no idea about pizza. You simply cannot bread up twice like that, not when it's so similar anyway. You can have garlic bread with pasta, that's fine, even encourageable. Or you can be a grown up and get bread and oil and balsamic. With pizza you need to get olives and, if a good one is available and you don't already have rocket on your pizza, a rocket and parmesan salad. I'm not even going to start talking to you about things like arancini or polenta chips for the moment.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Matt Morrison wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:if you go out to a top class restaurant like Pizza Hut, you're obviously going to have a garlic bread with cheese first.
I always think this is a surefire sign of someone who has no idea about pizza. You simply cannot bread up twice like that, not when it's so similar anyway. You can have garlic bread with pasta, that's fine, even encourageable. Or you can be a grown up and get bread and oil and balsamic. With pizza you need to get olives and, if a good one is available and you don't already have rocket on your pizza, a rocket and parmesan salad. I'm not even going to start talking to you about things like arancini or polenta chips for the moment.
It's not as simple as that. I will often get olives before a pizza, but it's more of a pre-starter. You have them as well as a starter. Also, that does actually mean oliving up twice, because I generally have olives on pizza. Also, rocket and parmesan salad? Are you joking? First of all, you've got to be careful with your cheeses, young Matthew. But anyway, I'm never going to have salad if there is proper food available as an alternative (I'm also aware of your previous post on salad). Actually I wouldn't say no to some sort of salad, but never as a replacement for real food. And when I say real food, I mean something with calories. I know people have "salads" as a main meal sometimes, but these aren't really proper salads. They are high calorie foods mixed with salad. These people are kidding themselves by calling the whole thing a salad.

But anyway, I do take your point about having similar things for starter and main, but you have to go with what's available. I will never choose something inferior just to be different from my main course. If the garlic bread is the best thing out there, I'm having it. Ideally there would be something as good that offered more variation, but it just doesn't happen.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Jennifer Steadman »

Matt Morrison wrote:
Jennifer Steadman wrote:I reckon Matt Morrison would be good too
I may have occasionally posted some of my nice cooking on Facebook or something but more likely you're just politely calling me fat.
Haha, no! You just seem like someone who could effortlessly knock up a great stir fry. (Not a euphemism.)
Matt Morrison wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:if you go out to a top class restaurant like Pizza Hut, you're obviously going to have a garlic bread with cheese first.
I always think this is a surefire sign of someone who has no idea about pizza. You simply cannot bread up twice like that, not when it's so similar anyway.
Hmm... I know that garlic bread with pizza isn't really the right way to do things. But I fucking love pizza and I fucking love garlic bread. Fight me!

I'm cooking for my family (who are mostly very fussy) four days this week. Made chicken stuffed with prosciutto, spinach and pine nuts with a white wine/lemon sauce and some fondant potatoes yesterday (the chicken/stuffing were easy, the fondant potatoes were a fucking nightmare but finally turned out edible), and a lamb/macaroni bake tonight (very nice). Tried to make a soup for the next few days' lunches as well but the kale/broccoli wouldn't blend properly so I ended up with one bowl of soup and one bowl of vegetable mush. Gross. The soup was OK but not worth the stress really.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Matt Morrison »

I've always wanted to try a fondant potato - preferably one that I've cooked more than just a restaurant job, as it seems like an incredibly satisfying thing to process (if it goes well) - but never got around to it as I can't quite justify the butter of it all.

I also love pizza and garlic bread. Love love. I think we all know it's wrong to have both together, we just react differently to that knowledge.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Matt Morrison wrote:I also love pizza and garlic bread. Love love. I think we all know it's wrong to have both together, we just react differently to that knowledge.
I think it's insane to object to it on some sort of "intellectual" grounds. If you prefer it to the alternatives, have it! The only reason I might pick something other than garlic bread is that I might prefer to have something a bit more different from the pizza. But if nothing is available that's anywhere near as good as the garlic bread, then I'll prefer the garlic bread, despite its similarity to the pizza. It's not wrong!
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Re: Cooking

Post by Jennifer Steadman »

BUMP. What are you cooking at the moment?

Really into making tagines currently, to go with couscous/harissa/garlic and mint yoghurt. So good. This one's great, really excited about making it again on Friday night. Quite into peanutty curries as well. Not sure that they're very 'summery', but 'summery' food tends to involve salad leaves (clearly the most joyless thing you can eat, and the texture's gross). Sod that.

Also, re-reading the thread - I didn't realise that my first attempt at making soup was as recently as December! I'm much better at it now (although haven't tried that recipe again). This one is my favourite.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Marc Meakin »

Pork medallions and potato gratin dauphinoise with a cauliflower and apple sauce .....good old Waitrose
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Re: Cooking

Post by Thomas Carey »

Salad is good
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Re: Cooking

Post by JimBentley »

Jennifer Steadman wrote: This one's great,
I love stuff like that, but why the fruit? And why apricot? Genuine question. I've eaten all sorts of stuff in my time [insert joke here] but I don't think I can remember a meat dish I've had that the addition of fruit has improved.

Maybe it's a pineapple on pizza thing, but a line must be drawn. People'll start squeezing tangerines into their coffee and refusing to eat roast beef without a side dish of strawberries or something and we'll be powerless to stop them.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Thomas Carey »

Pineapple on pizza is also good
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Re: Cooking

Post by Jennifer Steadman »

JimBentley wrote:
Jennifer Steadman wrote: This one's great,
I love stuff like that, but why the fruit? And why apricot? Genuine question. I've eaten all sorts of stuff in my time [insert joke here] but I don't think I can remember a meat dish I've had that the addition of fruit has improved.

Maybe it's a pineapple on pizza thing, but a line must be drawn. People'll start squeezing tangerines into their coffee and refusing to eat roast beef without a side dish of strawberries or something and we'll be powerless to stop them.
Fruit doesn't always add to dishes like these, but it does this one. The apricots are so juicy and fat with the sauce and spices that it's pretty orgasmic (they're a staple of Moroccan cuisine I think? I find they do work in tagines generally), and the pomegranate seeds add a nice sour note.

If I were being Gevinish, I could talk how tomato is technically a fruit and how that's in countless meat dishes. But tomato is clearly not an actual fruit.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

Supposedly the test of a fruit is if it works with custard. Tomato apparently works with custard. Cucumber on the other hand, does not.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Gavin Chipper »

There are savoury fruits and sweet fruits. Savoury fruits are often lumped in with vegetables. Tomatoes definitely belong in this category.

But what people rarely talk about is vegetables that are eaten as fruit - e.g. rhubarb.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Ian Volante »

Gavin Chipper wrote:There are savoury fruits and sweet fruits. Savoury fruits are often lumped in with vegetables. Tomatoes definitely belong in this category.

But what people rarely talk about is vegetables that are eaten as fruit - e.g. rhubarb.
Rhubarb = dessert celery.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Matt Morrison wrote: Tue Dec 01, 2015 9:06 pm
Gavin Chipper wrote:if you go out to a top class restaurant like Pizza Hut, you're obviously going to have a garlic bread with cheese first.
I always think this is a surefire sign of someone who has no idea about pizza. You simply cannot bread up twice like that, not when it's so similar anyway. You can have garlic bread with pasta, that's fine, even encourageable. Or you can be a grown up and get bread and oil and balsamic. With pizza you need to get olives and, if a good one is available and you don't already have rocket on your pizza, a rocket and parmesan salad. I'm not even going to start talking to you about things like arancini or polenta chips for the moment.
How did I manage to reply to this without commenting on your mention of balsamic vinegar? It is one of the most disgusting things ever invented. It should not exist.

Having said that sea salt and balsamic vinegar Kettle Chips are nice but only because they taste nothing like balsamic vinegar.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

Gavin Chipper wrote: Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:32 pmHow did I manage to reply to this without commenting on your mention of balsamic vinegar? It is one of the most disgusting things ever invented. It should not exist.
Big fan of balsamic. Given the choice between your existence, and balsamic's... I'd get your affairs in order, s'all I'm saying.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Tom S »

My cooking skills are non-existent-but enjoy being the receiver of good food ;)
My "Come Dine With Me" would be very simplistic, which represents my ability of cooking, but from time to time I like baking, so maybe that could save me from a potential kitchen disaster.

Starter-hmmm a small pasta dish- maybe some homemade spinach and ricotta tortelloni.
Main- "Halloumus burgers" with a chilli sauce and lettuce accompanied with rustic fries and some nice condiments.
Dessert- Iced Lemon Triangles- a favourite of mine :)
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Re: Cooking

Post by Marc Meakin »

Mine would be a prawn avacado with a seafood sauce ( tomato ketchup and mayonnaise ) paprika, followed by sea Bass with a pea puree and potatoes rosti with a key lime pie for afters with a pistachio ice cream on the side
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

Tom S wrote: Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:48 pm My cooking skills are non-existent-but enjoy being the receiver of good food ;)
My "Come Dine With Me" would be very simplistic, which represents my ability of cooking, but from time to time I like baking, so maybe that could save me from a potential kitchen disaster.

Starter-hmmm a small pasta dish- maybe some homemade spinach and ricotta tortelloni.
Main- "Halloumus burgers" with a chilli sauce and lettuce accompanied with rustic fries and some nice condiments.
Dessert- Iced Lemon Triangles- a favourite of mine :)
You veggie?
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Re: Cooking

Post by Tom S »

Zarte Siempre wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:48 am
Tom S wrote: Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:48 pm My cooking skills are non-existent-but enjoy being the receiver of good food ;)
My "Come Dine With Me" would be very simplistic, which represents my ability of cooking, but from time to time I like baking, so maybe that could save me from a potential kitchen disaster.

Starter-hmmm a small pasta dish- maybe some homemade spinach and ricotta tortelloni.
Main- "Halloumus burgers" with a chilli sauce and lettuce accompanied with rustic fries and some nice condiments.
Dessert- Iced Lemon Triangles- a favourite of mine :)
You veggie?
Ding DIng! ;)
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

Tom S wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:19 pm
Zarte Siempre wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:48 am
Tom S wrote: Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:48 pm My cooking skills are non-existent-but enjoy being the receiver of good food ;)
My "Come Dine With Me" would be very simplistic, which represents my ability of cooking, but from time to time I like baking, so maybe that could save me from a potential kitchen disaster.

Starter-hmmm a small pasta dish- maybe some homemade spinach and ricotta tortelloni.
Main- "Halloumus burgers" with a chilli sauce and lettuce accompanied with rustic fries and some nice condiments.
Dessert- Iced Lemon Triangles- a favourite of mine :)
You veggie?
Ding DIng! ;)
All sounds great. Feel free to post some of the triangles. (Feel free to post any of it tbh, but the triangles might survive best in some tupperware...)
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Re: Cooking

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Zarte Siempre wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 2:09 pm
Tom S wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:19 pm
Zarte Siempre wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:48 am

You veggie?
Ding DIng! ;)
All sounds great. Feel free to post some of the triangles. (Feel free to post any of it tbh, but the triangles might survive best in some tupperware...)
All this just to get some free plastic boxes?
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

Gavin Chipper wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 2:37 pm
Zarte Siempre wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 2:09 pm
Tom S wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:19 pm

Ding DIng! ;)
All sounds great. Feel free to post some of the triangles. (Feel free to post any of it tbh, but the triangles might survive best in some tupperware...)
All this just to get some free plastic boxes?
*shrug* Man needs storage.
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Re: Cooking

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Zarte Siempre wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:48 am
Tom S wrote: Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:48 pm My cooking skills are non-existent-but enjoy being the receiver of good food ;)
My "Come Dine With Me" would be very simplistic, which represents my ability of cooking, but from time to time I like baking, so maybe that could save me from a potential kitchen disaster.

Starter-hmmm a small pasta dish- maybe some homemade spinach and ricotta tortelloni.
Main- "Halloumus burgers" with a chilli sauce and lettuce accompanied with rustic fries and some nice condiments.
Dessert- Iced Lemon Triangles- a favourite of mine :)
You veggie?
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Zarte Siempre
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Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

Gavin Chipper wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 4:21 pm
Zarte Siempre wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:48 am
Tom S wrote: Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:48 pm My cooking skills are non-existent-but enjoy being the receiver of good food ;)
My "Come Dine With Me" would be very simplistic, which represents my ability of cooking, but from time to time I like baking, so maybe that could save me from a potential kitchen disaster.

Starter-hmmm a small pasta dish- maybe some homemade spinach and ricotta tortelloni.
Main- "Halloumus burgers" with a chilli sauce and lettuce accompanied with rustic fries and some nice condiments.
Dessert- Iced Lemon Triangles- a favourite of mine :)
You veggie?
Not been doing your forum revision.
I barely remember my own birthday, like fuck am I remembering other threads from several months ago.
Possibly the first contestant to accelerate with a mic clipped...
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JimBentley
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Re: Cooking

Post by JimBentley »

I don't really like following recipes, I just can't be bothered with all that faff. I might read a recipe to get the basic gist of it, if it's something I've never made before, but that's about as far as it goes. Sometimes it's fun to try new things but to be honest, I tend to fall back on stuff that I know I can do well. Really simple stuff: stews, mince dishes, curries, that sort of thing. Especially curries. I think that is the one thing I can cook that is the equal of anything that anyone else could ever make. Of course, I could never let anyone else taste them due to the unsanitary conditions of my kitchen. I wouldn't like to poison anyone. I'm immune to it now, so it's OK for me, but the rest of you will just have to take my word for it.
Zarte Siempre
Series 78 Champion
Posts: 1344
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 8:56 pm
Location: Dadford, Buckinghamshire

Re: Cooking

Post by Zarte Siempre »

JimBentley wrote: Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:48 pmEspecially curries. I think that is the one thing I can cook that is the equal of anything that anyone else could ever make.
You're a cruel man laying down such a challenge when I'm unable to cook atm...
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