JOLLY JOKES
Moderator: Jon O'Neill
JOLLY JOKES
Hi all comedy lovers,
Any hilarious jokes? Share them here!
One of my jokes: a boy comes into school late and the teacher says where have you been and the boy says on top of cherry hill sir and another boy comes to school late and the teacher says where have you been and the boy says on top of cherry hill sir and one more boy comes in late and the teacher says where have you been and the boy says on top of cherry hill sir and a girl comes to school late and the teacher says have you been on top of cherry hill too and the girl says no I am cherry hill
POST YOUR FUNNIEST JOKES HERE! Make us all lol!
Bye.
Soph
Any hilarious jokes? Share them here!
One of my jokes: a boy comes into school late and the teacher says where have you been and the boy says on top of cherry hill sir and another boy comes to school late and the teacher says where have you been and the boy says on top of cherry hill sir and one more boy comes in late and the teacher says where have you been and the boy says on top of cherry hill sir and a girl comes to school late and the teacher says have you been on top of cherry hill too and the girl says no I am cherry hill
POST YOUR FUNNIEST JOKES HERE! Make us all lol!
Bye.
Soph
One Direction are my life. <3
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
- Joseph Krol
- Kiloposter
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Re: JOLLY JOKES
A guy and his wife are setting their new computer up. The man sets his as 'mypenis' and the wife lolz 'cause it says 'unaccepted: too short.'
Re: JOLLY JOKES
Very funny one, Joseph!
One Direction are my life. <3
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
-
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1786
- Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:21 pm
- Location: Dublin
Re: JOLLY JOKES
Why did the lifeguard not save the hippy? Because he was too far out man.
A perfumer had a pet manatee called Hugh. He decided to name his latest brand of perfume after him. It was called Eau de Hugh Manatee.
I'm writing a mystery novel. Or am I?
Why do elephants paint their toenails pink? So they can hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No? That's how good a disguise it is.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle? A giraffe picking cherries.
How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge? There's footprints in the butter.
How do you know there's two elephants in the fridge? The door wont close.
How do you know there's an elephant in the pub? His bike is outside.
How do you know there are two elephants in the pub? There's a dent in the crossbar.
A perfumer had a pet manatee called Hugh. He decided to name his latest brand of perfume after him. It was called Eau de Hugh Manatee.
I'm writing a mystery novel. Or am I?
Why do elephants paint their toenails pink? So they can hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No? That's how good a disguise it is.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle? A giraffe picking cherries.
How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge? There's footprints in the butter.
How do you know there's two elephants in the fridge? The door wont close.
How do you know there's an elephant in the pub? His bike is outside.
How do you know there are two elephants in the pub? There's a dent in the crossbar.
Re: JOLLY JOKES
Really funny ones, Mark!
One Direction are my life. <3
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
- Jon O'Neill
- Ginger Ninja
- Posts: 4552
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:45 am
- Location: London, UK
Re: JOLLY JOKES
Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
The wheelchair.
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- Post-apocalypse
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Re: JOLLY JOKES
An Englishmen, an Irishman and Apterous Rex were in a pub. Apterous Rex was going to pay on his credit card but he'd maxed it the previous round.
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Re: JOLLY JOKES
Jon O'Neill wrote:Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
I think I have expressed my feelings in a suitably James Robinson-esque fashion.
Edit: Bernard Manning joke (yes, I know):
My aunt's an unorthodox Jew ....................
............ she's a Nazi.
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- Rookie
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Re: JOLLY JOKES
That's absolutely disgraceful tbhJon O'Neill wrote:Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
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Re: JOLLY JOKES
I know. The wheelchair isn't part of the vegetable. They're not fucking cyborgs!Martyn Simpson wrote:That's absolutely disgraceful tbhJon O'Neill wrote:Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
- Andy Wilson
- Kiloposter
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Re: JOLLY JOKES
HA. I've always hated Bernard Manning, but that's a great joke. The wheelchair one is piss funny too.David O'Donnell wrote:Jon O'Neill wrote:Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
I think I have expressed my feelings in a suitably James Robinson-esque fashion.
Edit: Bernard Manning joke (yes, I know):
My aunt's an unorthodox Jew ....................
............ she's a Nazi.
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- Series 71 Champion
- Posts: 255
- Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:23 am
Re: JOLLY JOKES
My friends have been teasing me about my Alzheimer's recently. Joke's on them, though, I don't even have a toaster.
Re: JOLLY JOKES
Not very funny ones but hey ho they are jokes
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because it wasn't peeling very well
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to
MUM: Does your new teacher like you? CHILD: I think so, she keeps putting kisses next to my work
MUM: It's raining cats and dogs out there! DAD: I know, I stepped in a poodle
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because it wasn't peeling very well
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to
MUM: Does your new teacher like you? CHILD: I think so, she keeps putting kisses next to my work
MUM: It's raining cats and dogs out there! DAD: I know, I stepped in a poodle
One Direction are my life. <3
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 13331
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm
Re: JOLLY JOKES
You need to be more cryptic.Jon O'Neill wrote:Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What is the hardest part of chocolate to eat?
The bars.
Re: JOLLY JOKES
Some hilarious jokes, guys. Keep 'em coming!
One Direction are my life. <3
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
-
- Postmaster General
- Posts: 3661
- Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:18 pm
Re: JOLLY JOKES
So Holly Willoughbooby has called her new baby Belle.
Bit cheesy if you ask me.
Bit cheesy if you ask me.
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- Post-apocalypse
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Re: JOLLY JOKES
I'm sure you were all with me anyway, but you know, prison bars?Gavin Chipper wrote:You need to be more cryptic.Jon O'Neill wrote:Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What is the hardest part of chocolate to eat?
The bars.