Tuesday 1 March 2016 (Series 74, Prelim 27)

[Johnny Canuck]

No. I'm not dead yet. Though I thought I might come dangerously close during the past few days when cramming for the 35%-valued exam I sat today and probably did OK on. And now, with the pesky little technicalities of academic success and career security out of the way, I finally have a couple days where I'm able to turn my attention back to a much more vital matter: forumcaps! Paul Erdunast bowed out yesterday (well, really two weeks ago, but... forget it, I'm not even going there) after securing a phenomenal octototal of 925. As a result, the identities of today's contestants are complete mysteries. Who will they be? How will they do? Do be do be do?

Countdown recap for Tuesday 1 March 2016.

C1: Challenger Anthony Williams.
C2: Challenger Alexander Assim. Perhaps curiously, neither have chosen to be referred to by shortened forms of their first names.
DC: Susie Dent and, making his debut appearance for 2016, Dan Walker.
RR: Rachel Riley.
OT: Other words or solutions.

WARNING: SELECTIONS AHEAD. FOR A COMPLETE SUMMARY OF TODAY'S EPISODE, PLEASE HIGHLIGHT THE SPACE BELOW. OR CONSULT THE WIKI. OR CONTACT CHANNEL 4 AND GET FLUMMOXED BY THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT.

R01: L O A F S U O R N
R02: D T H M A E I V O
R03: 100, 2, 7, 6, 8, 3. Target: 277.
TTT: GOTAGERM — “It's not a germ, but it could be 25 years before you're free of it.”
R04: S R L G A I U T E
R05: G B N I A E N G I
R06: 25, 100, 75, 50, 3, 1. Target: 123.
R07: L R A O A I D C R
R08: T S V H U E A P R
R09: 75, 50, 9, 9, 10, 1. Target: 187.
TTT: PRONEFAT — “He was prone to putting on weight, so decided to stop eating this.”
R10: Q P L U A E S R S
R11: Z T N S I E A W P
R12: D T R T O U O A O
R13: N I E R K A O M P
R14: 25, 100, 75, 50, 1, 2. Target: 936.
R15: N I L C R I N G E (conundrum)

INVISIBLE IS THE NEW BLACK.

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Enjoy the show.

Round 1: L O A F S U O R N

Anthony: FOURS (5)
Alexander: FLOORS (6)
DC: SUNROOF (7)
OT: SOLUNAR (7) UNROOFS (7)
Score: 0–6 (max 7)

The first declaration of the game consists of a 4-letter word... meaning 4... pluralised to make a 5... by appending a letter that vaguely resembles a 5. What does all that add up to? As it turns out, 0, since Alexander immediately FLOORS Anthony with a longer declaration.

Round 2: D T H M A E I V O

Anthony: MOATED (6)
Alexander: MOATED (6)
DC: VIDEO (5) ETHMOID (7)
OT: ADMOTIVE (8)
Score: 6–12 (max 15)

Matching words from both contestants mean that Anthony escapes the mark, but also that Alexander will for now remain the king of the proverbial — and presumably MOATED — castle. Susie and Dan nose around and find a 7 that is fairly well-known among top Apterites, but I'd be quite surprised if anyone in the studio, or indeed watching at home, were to dig up the darrenic 8 that was missed by all.

The botanical adjective ADMOTIVE refers to a form of germination in which the newly germinated seedling remains attached to, and develops beside, its parent seed.

Round 3: 100, 2, 7, 6, 8, 3. Target: 277.

Anthony: 277. 3 × 100 − 2 × 8 − 7. (10)
Alexander: 277. 3 × 100 − 8 − 6 − 7 − 2. (10)
Score: 16–22 (max 25)

Diverse small numbers, coupled with a friendly “100”, give this round what is basically the WD-40 of numbers selections: it has thousands of possible uses. Among these, many are capable of quickly and easily producing 277, and in short order, Anthony and Alexander both reach the target spot-on via two differing paths.

Teatime Teaser 1: GOTAGERM
“It's not a germ, but it could be 25 years before you're free of it.”
Answer: MORTGAGE

Round 4: S R L G A I U T E

Anthony: LAGERS (6)
Alexander: GUITARS (7)
DC: SALUTER (7) REGALIST (8)
OT: LIGATURES (18)
Score: 16–29 (max 43)

Y U N0 GET HIGH-PROBABILITY 9ER?!?!? UR ALL N00BZXX!!11!1

Ahem. Please excuse that outburst. I think I might have logged on with the wrong account.

Round 5: G B N I A E N G I

Anthony: GAINING (7)
Alexander: BANGING (7)
DC: BEANING (7)
OT: BINGEING (8)
Score: 23–36 (max 51)

Anthony hopes to end up GAINING on Alexander and bringing the margin back to crucial proportions, but two ripostes from the opponent and DC, both rather physically violent in theme, preserve its current size. I'm not proud of the fact that this recap was delayed until 17 March, but the DC-beating darren here does seem oddly appropriate given many people's typical St. Paddy's Day activities...

Round 6: 25, 100, 75, 50, 3, 1. Target: 123.

Anthony: 123. 100 + 25 − (3 − 1). (10)
Alexander: 123. 100 + 25 − (3 − 1). (10)
Score: 33–46 (max 61)

In a possible attempt to gain more daylight, Alexander plumps for four large numbers. However, CECIL fails to cooperate and spits out a target that is all but guaranteed to make this round as easy as... ABC.

Dan recounts the perils of owning a tiny cockapoo named Winnie, particularly the sheer emasculation he experiences on a daily basis when calling and chasing after her in public parks.

Round 7: L R A O A I D C R

Anthony: RAIL (4)
Alexander: RAILROAD (8)
DC: RAILCARD (8)
Score: 33–54 (max 69)

Whoa! Both players ride the RAILs, but as Alexander manages to stretch Anthony's word to double its length, it transpires that he is on a much faster track towards victory. I was also miles away from RAILROAD (and RAILCARD), despite my many years spent on Apterous... well... training.

Round 8: T S V H U E A P R

Anthony: SHAVER (6)
Alexander: PAVERS (6)
DC: HARVEST (7) UPRATES (7)
OT: PERUTAHS (8)
Score: 39–60 (max 77)

Despite his missing UPRATES, an evenly-matched round means that Alexander's chance of victory continues to go up at a steady rate. He will, however, still need to HARVEST more letters maxes than he's currently getting if he hopes to make it to octochampdom, especially given the onslaught of Apterites that is waiting in the wings next week.

Finally, an obscure word that I need to define, and I actually can't tell you what it means! It appears that in the Great Variant Spelling Massacre a few weeks ago (still after this game, I believe), PERUTAHS was taken out. Anyone who can tell me what the original/base spelling of the word that had PERUTAHS as a variant was: you'll get digital cake.

Round 9: 75, 50, 9, 9, 10, 1. Target: 187.

Anthony: 184. (9 + 1) × 10 + 75 + 9. (7)
Alexander: —
RR: 187. (9 − 1) × 9 + 75 + 50 − 10. (10)
Score: 46–60 (max 87)

But now, Alexander blanks on the next numbers game as Anthony works out a solution that is worthy of 7 points. There have indeed been some great comebacks over the years, and every comeback needs to begin with a single step. Could this be it?

Teatime Teaser 2: PRONEFAT
“He was prone to putting on weight, so decided to stop eating this.”
Answer: PANFORTE
(DC: “A spicy cake from Siena, Italy.”)

Two little things regarding this teaser.
Little Thing #1: If the scramble was PRONEFAT, wouldn't it make more sense for the clue to say “He was prone to putting on fat”?
Little Thing #2: When a teaser clue mentions a random or arbitrary person, it always seems to be a “he”, not a “she”. Never noticed it until recently, but it seems weird. Why should That Teatime Teaser Show have a 99% male cast?

Round 10: Q P L U A E S R S

Anthony: lasser
Alexander: PASSER (6)
DC: SQUARES (7) PERUSAL (7) PERUSALS (8)
Score: 46–66 (max 95)

Another burst of bad luck for Anthony as he unfortunately tries to attach a ubiquitous agent noun-forming suffix onto a word that is already a noun. Even so, Alexander could have picked up two further points here, as pointed out by Susie and Dan, whose careful PERUSALS of the ODO have led them to another darren.

Round 11: Z T N S I E A W P

Anthony: PAINTS (6)
Alexander: PAINTS (6)
DC: PANTIES (7) SAPIENT (7) ZANIEST (7)
OT: PATINES (7) PIANETS (7) PINATES (7)
Score: 52–72 (max 102)

“And a better consonant”? Really?

PATINE is an alternative spelling of PATINA, a superficial layer or coating.
PIANET is a Scottish term for the magpie.
A PINATE is a salt or ester of pinic acid, a substance originally named for its presence in pine resin or sap. So there's no PINIC^. Remember it, kids.

Susie discusses animal names that have been naturalised into English, noting specifically that PENGUIN originally referred to a completely different — and flight-equipped — bird now known as the Great Auk, and that CORGI is a word of Welsh origin whose literal meaning is “dwarf dog.”

Round 12: D T R T O U O A O

Anthony: ROOT (4)
Alexander: routa
DC: OUTROOT (7) OUTDOOR (7)
Score: 56–72 (max 109)

Three matching letters in a single selection may be a rare TV occurrence that reminds many people here of CO-events (RRRUUUBIU anyone?), but by pulling out max words containing all three Os, Dictionary Corner prove that they are this round's Table #1. Anthony is again stuck on a four-letter word, but this time, it does work to his slight advantage.

Round 13: N I E R K A O M P

Anthony: monkier
Alexander: PINKER (6)
DC: MANKIER (7) PINMAKER (8)
Score: 56–78 (max 117)

But an invalid offering from Anthony, once again consisting of a noun with a non-noun-oriented suffix tacked on, now confirms that Alexander has this game in the bag. Dan steps it up to 7 with a comparative adjective that reminds me of a Pokémon, before Susie goes one step further and unravels the final darren of the day.

According to the dictionary, a PINMAKER is a person who makes pins or nails, but in my opinion the word should refer to a machine that generates a random number between 0000 and 9999 inclusive.

Round 14: 25, 100, 75, 50, 1, 2. Target: 936.

Anthony: —
Alexander: 950.
RR: 936. (25 × 75 − 1 − 2) ÷ (100 ÷ 50). (10)
Score: 56–78 (max 127)

After this target came out, veterans of advanced numbers techniques were most likely standing in their living rooms, screaming “Nine! Hundred! And thirty-seven! Point! Five!!!” at their TVs. However, solutions achieved via this method are virtually impossible to be spotted by mere mortals, and in the absence of extensive Apto-training, Anthony and Alexander score zero points between them. Only Rachel is able to come to the aid of the throngs of four-large fans everywhere.

Round 15: N I L C R I N G E

No one buzzes.
An audience member gives the correct answer, RECLINING.
Final Score: 56–78 (max 137)

And as the conundrum timer concludes with neither contestant buzzing in, the total number of points scored in this round again comes to NIL; a CRINGE is no doubt provoked from at least one of them after the answer, ending in a classic suffix, is revealed. It's left to a lucky player in the audience to unscramble the conundrum, and we see his smiling face in a scene better known as a... “mug shot”. I'll be here all week.

And so Countdonia has a brand-new conqueror in Alexander Assim. How far will he be able to go from here? Far enough, perhaps, to take on Apto-gang James Hogan, Conrad Teixeira and Angus Eady in his fifth, sixth and eighth games respectively? Join me in Recapland sometime during the next geological age and find out.

This has been Acme CanuckRecap™ #00006. Now with three times as many funny graphics of Darren Bent.

Statistics Corner
Anthony:
Total score – 56
Raw score – 71
Total % of max – 41%
Raw % of max – 52%
Total average score per round – 3.7
Raw average score per round – 4.7
Number of maxes – 2

Alexander:
Score (both total and raw) – 78
% of max – 57%
Average score per round – 5.2
Number of maxes – 3

Further summaries are at:
http://cdb.apterous.org/series.php?series=74