Cricket

Andy Wilson · Post by **Andy Wilson** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:37 pm

What are the rules again? It's like rounders without the corners right?

Matt Morrison · Post by **Matt Morrison** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:58 pm

I hate cricket. It's just not cricket.

Matt Morrison · Post by **Matt Morrison** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:59 pm

Oh hang on I see. This has something to do with Ireland-England? I think I remembered them mentioning that on SSN earlier.
I hope this means you won because I hate cricket and so I hate the English cricket team.

Matt Morrison · Post by **Matt Morrison** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:59 pm

I can't stand cricket.

Andy Wilson · Post by **Andy Wilson** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:03 pm

You don't like cricket? Oh no. I love it! Just realised that the irish for cricket is iomáin gallda which translates as foreign hurling.

Marc Meakin · Post by **Marc Meakin** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:04 pm

Adele likes rolling in the deep.

Andy Wilson · Post by **Andy Wilson** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:37 pm

I don't get it. Anyway, apparently Geoffrey Boycott called it the best one day game ever! Was it that good?

JimBentley · Post by **JimBentley** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:52 pm

Andy Wilson wrote:I don't get it. Anyway, apparently Geoffrey Boycott called it the best one day game ever! Was it that good?

If it was as good as the India-England 338-338 tie on Sunday, it must have been pretty amazing (and I'm not even a big cricket fan).

Andy Wilson · Post by **Andy Wilson** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:59 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqZTP8-8 ... r_embedded

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:04 pm

Incredible match! Incredible link as well lol.

James Doohan · Post by **James Doohan** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:09 pm

So it turns out our boys are better than England at cricket. Who knew?

James Doohan · Post by **James Doohan** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:09 pm

Or cared

Andy Wilson · Post by **Andy Wilson** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:14 pm

Jon O'Neill wrote:Incredible link as well lol.

Yeah, brilliant eh? Just saw this one beyond it too... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqupNjswVnQ&NR=1

James Doohan wrote:So it turns out our boys are better than England at cricket.

This calls for a hurling/cricket compromise rules series!

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:08 pm

James Doohan wrote:So it turns out our boys are better than England at cricket. Who knew?

Meh. Only won because we were without Eoin Morgan...

Anyway sick of Bopara being brought up every time England are shite. Yay lets be even more shite and play the proven bottler who plays to about 10% of his actual talent, like KP but without the cameo before throwing it away. People seem to forget that Bopara almost cost England the game against the Netherlands before he padded out his score with a 6 which just scraped over the fielder when only 13 off 12 were needed (as in a bit of a needless risk which could have meant a new batsman in with 13 off 11 needed), before he flapped a couple of pies over the infield for 4.

James Doohan · Post by **James Doohan** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:15 pm

Craig Beevers wrote:
James Doohan wrote:So it turns out our boys are better than England at cricket. Who knew?
Meh. Only won because we were without Eoin Morgan...

So if you had of had an Irishman in your team you would have beaten Ireland

Andy Wilson · Post by **Andy Wilson** » Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:21 am

What's the story with becoming a test nation anyway? Is there a chance we might ever become one? I used to hate cricket, then the previous ashes to last, a mate called around for a couple of the games as we had sky and he didn't and i really enjoyed watching it and it looked like the crowd were having a ball. A game that lasts the whole day and you can have a beer! Good respect vibe too. You could see the England fans applauding Ireland. Bit of a change from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTIwEo-W_xU

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:05 pm

Ireland I think will become a Test nation sooner or later. It's the Asian bloc that's held them back really, indirectly. The Asian countries were backing Bangladesh strongly to get Test status as it means they have more influence when it comes to future votes. Since Bangladesh have continued to be fairly useless it makes it tougher for another new cricketing nation to gain Test status from a more general point of view. Test cricket is a bit different to normal sport because it doesn't really need more countries to make it work. In fact if you have more countries then the big clashes happen less frequently or have fewer games. There's also less space for India to fit in their mandatory money-spinning 431 game ODI series and IPL (India Premier League - a Twenty20 competition more like the English Premier League than cricket in terms of franchises, foreign players etc.)

What Ireland does have going for it however is it is a northern hemisphere country which plays at the height of summer, and obviously its proximity to England. In terms of Test cricket only England stages Tests at the height of (our) summer. India has started playing its IPL in the early part of the English season, but there's not much international cricket going on. So Ireland should find themselves being able to get games and most of their players are signed up to County Cricket. Ireland are in the process of building a new stadium as well. Unlike other minnow countries like Netherlands and Canada they're beyond relying heavily on ex-pats or foreign players. They've a pretty good investment and set-up with cricket and are consistently producing good players.

The likes of Zimbabwe might complicate things in the future however. As they'll probably get their Test status reinstated sooner rather than later. Also Afghanistan are a likely future Test playing nation, although it's a way off yet. They're very similar to Pakistan, in that they're very raw, strong, naturally talented and very erratic too. They should have qualified ahead of Canada for this World Cup but they buggered it up. There's a documentary on the BBC called Out of the Ashes covering Afghanistan cricket which is a good watch, unfortunately not available at the moment.

Some of it will depend on what happens with Test cricket's set-up in general. The authorities are always playing about with Future Tours Programs and trying to have a World Test Championship where the top 4 play each other, to give general fixtures a context. I personally think teams like Bangladesh and Ireland should get Home Test status, allowing them home games to drive up interest, conditions they're used to so the games are more competitive and the players have a chance to shine. Bangladesh playing a Test against England in Durham on a cold damp morning on a green pitch is the epitome of pointlessness. It does more harm than good. They should have been playing against A teams and suchlike.

Michael Wallace · Post by **Michael Wallace** » Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:03 pm

Haha, so because of the cricket I just read about 'Ireland's Call' - hilariously awful. (And that's coming from someone who openly likes Eurovision.)

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:26 pm

Michael Wallace wrote:Haha, so because of the cricket I just read about 'Ireland's Call' - hilariously awful. (And that's coming from someone who openly likes Eurovision.)

I don't think it's awful.. I prefer it to God Save Our Queen anyways. Look at these MEN singing it and tell THEM it's awful!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6_UsZtHiXU

James Doohan · Post by **James Doohan** » Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:37 pm

Michael Wallace wrote:Haha, so because of the cricket I just read about 'Ireland's Call' - hilariously awful. (And that's coming from someone who openly likes Eurovision.)

Its horrendous

Mark James · Post by **Mark James** » Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:06 pm

James Doohan wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:Haha, so because of the cricket I just read about 'Ireland's Call' - hilariously awful. (And that's coming from someone who openly likes Eurovision.)
Its horrendous

Agreed. Phil Coulter is aural poison. The original Riverdance should be our national anthem and all the players could learn Irish dancing and perform it before a match just like the All Blacks and their Haka. They're already standing in a line.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 3:41 pm

Could go on forever about all the boneheaded things England have done in this World Cup. Hope to god England can somehow win this so I can have a rest for a week or so.

James Robinson · Post by **James Robinson** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 3:45 pm

This England one-day team are just one of mankind's biggest mysteries. You just have no clue what you're gonna get.

They are literally the only team who can beat and lose to anyone

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 4:57 pm

Fucking pathetic.

Anderson has a maximum of 2-3 good overs in him per match. The other overs are atrocious.
Prior is fucking useless no matter what he's supposed to be doing in a limited overs game. Absolutely disgraceful he was selected ahead of Davies. Maybe Andy Flower can remind us again how useful Prior's gurning is at inspiring the team to defeat against Ireland and Bangladesh.
Yardy was another horrid selection. Yea you need a left arm spin option. But what fucking use is a guy who treads water in the outfield, can't hit whatsoever and bowls like a left arm Malinga at half the pace and accuracy. Giving 6-7 easy runs an over is not going to win you ODIs.
Tredwell and Wright. Shite back-up players that are presumably there if there's an worldwide epidemic that attacks any cricket player with an English passport.
Why are England putting Bell in the middle order? Unless he's set he's useless with the field back against negative bowling.
Almost forgot Strauss' captaincy. Good leader. Brilliant speaker. Completely useless otherwise.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:34 pm

Same shit again. Some of the most brainless, shockingly stupid batting you'll ever see. That includes schoolboy level or Shahid Afridi.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 1:27 pm

Craig Beevers wrote:Same shit again. Some of the most brainless, shockingly stupid batting you'll ever see. That includes schoolboy level or Shahid Afridi.

Same shit again. Some of the most brainless, shockingly depressing criticism you'll ever see.

Why don't you ever post anything positive?

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:00 pm

Okay the way bottler Bopara ran and got two hands under the catch he just dropped was really nice.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:34 pm

Also the way Strauss is captaining the team is really awesome from a West Indian point of view. Keep Bresnan on whilst it's not doing owt against the guy who's renown for being useless against decent spin bowling. Then bring the tall bounce bowler back when it might be reversing and before the ball gets replaced.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 4:33 pm

Holy crap.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 4:53 pm

Craig Beevers wrote:Holy crap.

Is that positive?

Ryan Taylor · Post by **Ryan Taylor** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 12:27 am

I would like to see Jon O'Neill versus Craig Beevers beating each other with a cricket bat. However, I would equip Jon with one of those cricketing helmets and all of the protective pads and also a corky in a sock.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:55 am

My god people are unbelievably thick. How difficult is to work out the permutations when it's two groups with 1st playing 4th, 2nd v 3rd, playing against a team from the other group. And there are even pillocks messaging in on Cricinfo like if Australia lose they'll play SA in the quarter finals. Err no they won't. SA have finished 1st. Australia would finish 3rd, due to the really oddly complicated situation of already having more points than New Zealand who've played all their matches. Commentators even try to explain it and then mention two teams from the same group as playing in the quarter finals if so and so loses.

David Williams · Post by **David Williams** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 12:06 pm

At one time didn't they have a system where the next stage was a continuation of the league, and you carried forward your results against the surviving teams? If Bangladesh didn't make it, England would be very handily placed.

I'm sure Rafa could sort it all out.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 1:01 pm

David Williams wrote:At one time didn't they have a system where the next stage was a continuation of the league, and you carried forward your results against the surviving teams? If Bangladesh didn't make it, England would be very handily placed.

I'm sure Rafa could sort it all out.

Yep, there have a been a lot of formats where points carried over into a super six or super eight.

Oh and Dernback is another random call-up by England, dunno if it's good or bad, just random. Flower clearly doesn't want to show himself up by calling up Davies - the keeper who can actually bat and opens.

Interesting few hours of sport coming up.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:02 am

Well if you were wondering about the worst governing body in sport the ICC have not so much put their hand up as jumped out of their chair, ran about the place screaming and waving their hands in the air.

What sort of fuckwitted organisation has a World Cup where all the teams are decided with no qualification whatsoever. Where one of these chosen teams (Zimbabwe) is actually ranked below Ireland, who've been excluded despite good performances and big improvements in conditions that don't suit them hugely (whereas they heavily suited Zimbabwe and Bangladesh).

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Sun May 22, 2011 10:58 am

Thank god, no softcock Ravi 'bottler' Bopara in the Test squad after the media kept banging on about how he was a cert for selection. This above Eoin Morgan who has an infinitely stronger temperament for the international game and doesn't whine at the start of the season about the ball they're using because he's too shite to stop himself nicking it behind. Eoin Morgan was also the back-up throughout the last Test series and scored 193 in the tour match against Sri Lanka, as opposed to 17 (which included one dropped catch, a confident appeal for a catch not given, an edge through the slips and gully and other near misses).

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Sun May 22, 2011 11:52 am

I love this thread.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Sun May 22, 2011 11:53 am

Also, my cricket team's season starts next Sunday! I'm a bit of a softcock bottler with the bat though in fairness.

http://lyndhurstcc.co.uk/

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Sun May 22, 2011 11:58 am

Heh now the media are doing some glorious back-tracking. Some moron from The Sun (moron is a redundant statement I suppose) saying Morgan's "193 v SL this week was as close to a 'gimme' century against international oppo as you could get." whilst they're banging on about how softcock's 17 was scored in horribly difficult conditions. Softcock has had numerous chances, averages under 30 in ODIs despite having played 59 of them. Averages 19 in T20I from 11 games at a strike rate of 100. He managed three drop-laden centuries in Test cricket against a prank West Indies side on roads whilst mustering 147 runs total from 12 innings against Sri Lanka and Australia. The media's love of some people really is baffling.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Sun May 22, 2011 12:20 pm

Jon O'Neill wrote:Also, my cricket team's season starts next Sunday! I'm a bit of a softcock bottler with the bat though in fairness.

http://lyndhurstcc.co.uk/

That's quite late, the 4ths started end of April around here, the 1sts & 2nds started a week earlier.

The whole Bopara v Morgan nonsense reminds of when it was Bell v Collingwood. The media had it in for Colly because he was a ginger unfashionable northerner, a guy who despite Bell's freebies v Bangladesh still averaged more than Bell in Tests, got tough crucial runs and who instead started his career having to save England from losing in Sri Lanka, was a better fielder than Bell, was a better bowler than Bell, was a better team/dressing room man than Bell. That was when Bell was a bit of a softcock, credit to him that he went and did something about it - doing a load of boxing and whatnot.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Thu May 26, 2011 10:43 am

So glad they gave the first match of the season to the Ashes Test stealers in Wales.

The constant cloud cover (the odd time it's not producing regular rain) might just give the bowlers a chance to do something, given the pitch is usually a complete pudding. Slow and low producing dire quality cricket at a rubbish Test venue.

See Cricinfo's latest Switch Hit chat for the sort of propaganda they're employing to try and get softcock Ravi into the side. Saying loyalty counts for nothing because Morgan went to the IPL and Bopara didn't (he went before and was useless so I'd be surprised if anyone was interested in him, plus his wife gave birth recently so he'd have probably wanted to be around for that). Morgan had to sit around twiddling his thumbs as the reserve batsman throughout the Ashes, so there'd have been no loyalty there if Bopara had leapfrogged him.

This is why England need such single-minded high-ups in the set-up, the likes of Duncan Fletcher and Andy Flower. The media picked the team during the 90s and the results speak for themselves.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Thu May 26, 2011 9:52 pm

http://www.espncricinfo.com/county-cric ... 16800.html

Hilarious (it's a story about a guy who conned his way into a county contract). Slightly embarrassing as a Durham supporter that we didn't dismiss him in his last game, although Mohammad Yousuf did just bag a king pair against us.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Thu May 26, 2011 10:12 pm

Craig Beevers wrote:http://www.espncricinfo.com/county-cric ... 16800.html

Hilarious (it's a story about a guy who conned his way into a county contract). Slightly embarrassing as a Durham supporter that we didn't dismiss him in his last game, although Mohammad Yousuf did just bag a king pair against us.

Hard to be angry at such a bold lie. I applaud the man.

Lesley Hines · Post by **Lesley Hines** » Fri May 27, 2011 12:44 am

Craig Beevers wrote:http://www.espncricinfo.com/county-cric ... 16800.html

Hilarious (it's a story about a guy who conned his way into a county contract). Slightly embarrassing as a Durham supporter that we didn't dismiss him in his last game, although Mohammad Yousuf did just bag a king pair against us.

Funnily enough it says his innings was ended by injury. The injury was sustained playing football with the other players in a pre-match kick about, not through any cricketing in particular. Not very good at quite a lot then

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Mon May 30, 2011 4:39 pm

Interesting day's play. Didn't cut into WALL.E too much either.

A good way to retire Cardiff's Test venue I think.

Rhys Benjamin · Post by **Rhys Benjamin** » Mon May 30, 2011 4:41 pm

It's Welsh, and although I'm part Welsh, the last Welsh player we had in the ENGLAND team was Simon Jones. And he retired from International cricket in 2005!

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Wed Jun 01, 2011 10:23 pm

Some assorted cricket anagrams:

http://www.wespa.org/features/cricket.shtml

Should be a piece of cake for folk on here.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Fri Jun 03, 2011 5:14 pm

I'm guessing the media will be spinning this as how KP should be dropped to let the golden boy Bopara in. Pretty rubbish batting display in general though given the number of wickets thrown away, bowling is toothless and 500+ was there for the taking really.

Could still make 500+ if the lower order sticks around mind. England currently 316-6.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Sat Jun 04, 2011 11:27 am

Grrr another wtf shot. England over 450 despite themselves.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:49 pm

Craig Beevers on suicide watch.

Actually, it's very gay.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:33 pm

The thing that was most disgraceful about the last Cardiff Test match was the 'crowd' on the last day. It's basically a 5 minute walk from the town centre and as Panorama are reporting nobody in Wales works anyway, so where were they all?

Pretty much anywhere else would have got a few thousand in. You simply cannot give Test cricket to places like that. Even Simon Jones didn't want to play there, pretty sure no bugger else wants to.

Rhys Benjamin · Post by **Rhys Benjamin** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:46 am

Ah well, this could cheer you up

(SPOILERS - (future DC Guest) - Michael Vaughan will be on from 27 Jun to 1 Jul!!)

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 1:48 pm

Haven't watched Countdown at all this year and barely any last year. Might stick it on in the background, tend to be studying or swimming at that time though.

This certainly cheered me up:

Code: Select all

Sri Lanka tour of England and Scotland, Tour Match: Essex v Sri Lankans at Chelmsford, Jun 10-12, 2011

Essex 1st innings
BA Godleman		          lbw b Maharoof   5 (12)
ML Pettini	   c Paranavitana b Perera	  0 (10)	
T Westley					   not out         51 (66)
RS Bopara*	   c Sangakkara b Maharoof     5 (12)
RN ten Doeschate			  not out         54 (54)
Extras	(lb 4, w 1, nb 3)                  8					
					
Total	(3 wickets; 25.1 overs)	        123	(4.88 runs per over)

Poor Ravi getting the worst of the conditions again. Same story I assume for his run of 0, 17, 29, 1, 8, 0, 2, 49, 1, 0.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:55 pm

Phil Makepeace is turning out for my cricket team agaisnt Epping C.C. tomorrow.

Jon O'Neill · Post by **Jon O'Neill** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:32 pm

Jon O'Neill wrote:Phil Makepeace is turning out for my cricket team agaisnt Epping C.C. tomorrow.

Unsurprisingly, the game was a washout.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Mon Jun 13, 2011 10:50 am

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/13746469.stm

I'm failing to see the logic in shifting the Lord's-less Test series onto New Zealand - a team that we don't happen to play every 5 minutes. There's one quite simple solution though, don't play at the Ravi Bopara of cricket grounds.

By the way the statistic towards the end of that piece is absolutely ludicrous. The Ravi Bopara of cricket grounds had a much reduced capacity for the England v Sri Lanka match, so the percentage is misleading at best.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Mon Jun 13, 2011 10:43 pm

As expected. Arguments above still stand

http://www.espncricinfo.com/england/con ... 18917.html

The system in place is ridiculous. Grounds are forced to raise ticket prices to recover the money they've spent on bidding. In the medium to long term this will damage cricket. It's constantly finding new ways of making itself even less accessible for a few silver coins.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Thu Jun 16, 2011 11:56 am

It's that time again, when you wait for Broad to piss off to fine leg so someone can bowl vaguely straight. What's even more irritating is we've got one of the best seamers around in world cricket on current form - Tremlett - seemingly stuck being first change.

Craig Beevers · Post by **Craig Beevers** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 2:55 pm

Congrats to Bopara, getting his strike rate below 100 in 20 over cricket.

In other stunning efforts fat boy Patel couldn't be arsed getting back in his ground. No idea why Lumb is playing, even when he was in good form he didn't do much, he can't bowl and his fielding is mediocre. I'm still not seeing the fuss about Kieswetter, still looks like a terrible keeper who cashes in on Somerset roads - at least he's not Prior. Wright is a bit of a luxury because he doesn't do anything well - would be better off with someone who can bowl properly or bat properly.

Meanwhile Bell is sat on the sidelines. You couldn't make it up.

Rhys Benjamin · Post by **Rhys Benjamin** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 6:55 pm

I'm interested in cricket. I didn't see the match live (because I don't have Sky) or the highlights, but my Under XX B's match for XXXXXX got rained off without a ball being bowled. I feel for the away team though. They were from Reading. Travelling to Sudbury (sort of N/W London-ish)