C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Discuss anything interesting but not remotely Countdown-related here.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Mon Feb 10, 2014 6:31 pm

Gavin Chipper wrote:
Ben Wilson wrote:(Probably) Two dreams last night. In the first I'm panicking as I'm travelling home from a co-event and I urgently need a lift to the railway station from Graeme Cole's dad (whom I've never met and have no idea what he looks like, you need to understand). He obliges and I find myself sandwiched between James Robinson and Matt Bayfield on the back seat of the car whilst Graeme's dad drives us to the station, only for us to have to slow down and let Graeme himself (who'd been running alongside the car) in. Worringly Graeme then gets in the driver's seat and we then speed off.

There was either then a bizarre jump cut or an entirely separate dream as the next thing I know I'm outside a hotel, sat around a table with three Gevins debating whether to follow James Nguyen or Mark Deeks in their plot to overthrow the government. Long story short, I follow Deeks whilst the Gevins follow Nguyen. I arrange to meet Deeks outside the hotel at 9 O'clock but a communication error involving AM and PM leaves me standing outside the hotel for 12 hours feeling like a prat. Next thing I know I'm running down Lincoln High Street wearing just a dressing gown, and at that point I wake up.
Three Gevins. That's a lot. What were the specific plots? I presume Nguyen's was better.
I can't remember the specific details of each plot, only that Deeks's was clearly superior.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:20 pm

My subconscious has been at it again.

The setup for last night's dream saw me in Amsterdam to apologise for a diplomatic incident- don't know what, exactly- and upon arrival I immediately headed to the main parliament, or at least, the main parliament's vast dining hall. After grabbing a pear (which was, for some reason, full of pomegranate seeds) and a doughnut, I go looking for a seat and immediately spot Gevin sitting next to Graeme Cole. Delighted at spotting people I know (they also mention that Richard Brittain is around, which makes me less delighted) I sit down next to them, only for them to up and leave, explaining that their flight home is in a few minutes.

After eating my lunch, I prepare to stand up only for a very cheerful Mark Deeks to show up and say hi. he's cheerful because he randomly ran into Jon Corby, played an impromptu game of Countdown against him and humiliatingly battered him. Mark then spots a nearby girl and starts to chat her up, first by buying her lunch (despite the fact that she already had a meal) and then thinking about serenading her with a violin, but thinking better of it. Mark then also leaves.

I head back into the kitchen to wash my hands (the doughnut had loads of sugar covering it) in a very high-tech handbasin that fills an entire wall, only to run into Jack Hurst merrily urinating into the washing-up. I woke up at that point.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jennifer Steadman » Sat Jun 07, 2014 4:00 pm

:D Brilliant. This thread never fails to entertain.

I also dreamt about Apterites last night. For some reason I was in Cardiff, wandering around the city at night with Lauren Hamer, and at about 11pm we walked past a small non-league stadium. Thousands of people were streaming out of it clutching plastic glasses full of beer, at which point it transpired that they had just been watching Tonbridge Angels wallop Cardiff City 5-0. I ruing missing the match, when suddenly a 1ft tall, gnomelike Matt Bayfield ran very camply out from the crowd clad in, among other things, a Tonbridge scarf and Barcelona shirt. He looked absolutely thrilled to bits that we'd won the match and had amazing jumping skills, which he used to leap up onto my shoulder and gave me a hug before giving me a rundown of the game. Lauren looked massively confused by all of this. Then it segued into a completely different dream.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark Deeks » Sat Jun 07, 2014 4:26 pm

Mark Deeks wrote:[...]

Cut, then, to a hotel lobby in Las Vegas, where seemingly I have flown to drown my sorrows. I am getting increasingly agitated because my luggage has not turned up; it is particularly aggravating as I am in a hurry to get to my room, because I know for a fact that a threesome awaits me there. After a bit of yelling, and briefly getting stuck in the unnecessarily thin door that is the exit to the reception desk area (an unsubtle commentary on weight gain by my subconscious there), I get to my room to find it disshevelled and trashed - clearly, the threesome had already happened without me. I rush out into the restaurant to find series 67 champion Paul James and this cute Canadian girl from my course wining and dining each other. It seems they were the scheduled participants, but they'd decided to have all the fun without me.

I kind of hate Paul now.
I actually dreamt this last part again not so long ago. Paul, I swear, if you ruin it for me with her again...... :shock:
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby » Sat Jun 07, 2014 10:26 pm

Jennifer Steadman wrote:a 1ft tall, gnomelike Matt Bayfield
Image

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Gavin Chipper » Sat Jun 07, 2014 10:53 pm

Ben Wilson wrote:My subconscious has been at it again.

The setup for last night's dream saw me in Amsterdam to apologise for a diplomatic incident- don't know what, exactly- and upon arrival I immediately headed to the main parliament, or at least, the main parliament's vast dining hall. After grabbing a pear (which was, for some reason, full of pomegranate seeds) and a doughnut, I go looking for a seat and immediately spot Gevin sitting next to Graeme Cole. Delighted at spotting people I know (they also mention that Richard Brittain is around, which makes me less delighted) I sit down next to them, only for them to up and leave, explaining that their flight home is in a few minutes.

After eating my lunch, I prepare to stand up only for a very cheerful Mark Deeks to show up and say hi. he's cheerful because he randomly ran into Jon Corby, played an impromptu game of Countdown against him and humiliatingly battered him. Mark then spots a nearby girl and starts to chat her up, first by buying her lunch (despite the fact that she already had a meal) and then thinking about serenading her with a violin, but thinking better of it. Mark then also leaves.

I head back into the kitchen to wash my hands (the doughnut had loads of sugar covering it) in a very high-tech handbasin that fills an entire wall, only to run into Jack Hurst merrily urinating into the washing-up. I woke up at that point.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Thomas Carey » Sun Jun 08, 2014 4:15 am

Jon Corby wrote:
Jennifer Steadman wrote:a 1ft tall, gnomelike Matt Bayfield
Image
I originally read that as 11ft tall. I don't know which is better,
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Sat Jun 28, 2014 5:54 am

So, I'm at a hybrid garage/brewery/shopping mall getting my car repaired. Other people there include mark deeks, Ryan Taylor, Jen steadman and at least 3 other aptertyes I don't recognise. Whilst my car is repaired I buy a meal from mcdonalds (which costs £17 for some reason) and sit down to wait with mark, Ryan and Jen, reading some of the customer service feedback slips mark had nicked from behind the counter. Turns out they're actually feedback left by the staff about customers, and are rarely complimentary (turns out in this dream I'm a billionaire and the staff are pissed off I'm not leaving them a massive tip, despite the fact that I never do get my meal). We all find this funny, me in particular considering my usual approach to customer service. Eventually someone comes to take me to my car, explaining about a half-eaten fish and chip supper that was found in the engine and that I at first mistake for my meal. The man- a camp gentleman in his early sixties- guides me to my car, which is no longer a silver corsa but a bright gold hummer (even the windows have been painted over gold) makes a little annoyed and a slightly un-PC comment about not wanting to drive home in liberace's van slips out. I demand to see the manager- turns out the man I was talking to was the manager- and insist I'm not paying full price for the repairs. He leads me to his office, only to end up in his bedroom where he expresses a desire to run away with me to the south of Spain, and is very disappointed to learn that I'm straight and not interested in people twice my age. He leads me back outside via the booze warehouse, outside which we observe a bunch of 15 year old boys having a punch-up. I then wake up.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Andy Platt » Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:53 am

Whatever you ate/drank/smoked/did/played before going to bed, keep doing it, these are quite entertaining

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Sat Jul 05, 2014 5:53 pm

Andy: the answer is Benadryl. Which resulted in the following:

I'm at COLIN, and the final heat game had just finished in a draw for some reason. Two minutes later and I'm announcing the final between two unknown players, Jayne Watson and Matthew Somethingorother. Whilst making these announcements I have to keep making trips back to the PC under the pretense of checking their scores when I'm actually trying to remember their names (as you can see, it didn't quite work). They're both unbeaten on 6 wins but only scored around 320 points. Third is Thomas Cappleman on 3 wins, slightly further behind are Jack Worsley and Kirk Bevins, who only have two wins each but both managed scores of over 500 points (somehow). Before the final starts, I introduce the new trophy, which for some reason is in the shape of Sylvester and Tweety Pie. The old shields have been added to the new trophy, with the exception of the 2013 shield which has been replaced with an essay on how Dylan Taylor is the true king of Brazil. Zarte volunteers to host the final, and I'm about to rib James Robinson about having the day off when I wake up.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark Deeks » Sat Jul 05, 2014 7:34 pm

That's possibly the first Apto dream you've had that didn't have me in it, you creepy stalker you.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Fri Jul 25, 2014 4:27 pm

In this most recent one I'm walking down a street near where I live, heading to the pharmacy to pick up some hayfever medicine, despite the fact that in my head I've identified the time of year as being around Christmas time. Along the way I put on my MP3 player and listen to a series of apterous podcasts hosted by Jono and Zarte (sorry Charlie, my subconscious has decided that you got fired a while ago), but hosted so ineptly that they never actually get onto the topic of apterous or Countdown at any point. It doesn't help that I'm quickly interrupted by a bunch of Russian soldiers marching behind me and using the Spongebob Squarepants theme tune as their marching cadence (this is actually a real thing, btw). I accidentally switch my mp3 player to speakerphone (somehow) and am mortified as the Russians laugh at me for blasting the podcast at full volume. I wake up at that point.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Graeme Cole » Fri Jul 25, 2014 7:54 pm

Ben Wilson wrote:apterous podcasts
That reminds me.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Zarte Siempre » Sat Jul 26, 2014 12:38 am

Maybe you subconsciously remember me saying I used to host internet radio shows. I may never have told you that, but if I have, it would seem logical.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark James » Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm

Had a dream I was watching an episode of House and Neil Zussman was working for House and he had to prepare a presentation. I was trying to figure out which episode it was that he left the show and why House had sacked him.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark Deeks » Sat Aug 02, 2014 2:25 pm

Had a really long and complex dream involving many recurring themes I have in my dreams all rolled into one. Those themes include you Countdown weirdos, train tracks (the repeated crossing of which apparently represents crossroads in one's life), and, for some reason, snooker. I really wish I could remember more of this night's efforts because they were quite intense and extremely surreal.

Starts off with the snooker. (I honestly dream about snooker quite a lot.) I was at the final of the World Championships in some unidentified role that flitted between commentator and cameraman. Ronnie O'Sullivan was playing, and for some reason he and the random other opponent were doing that pool thing of nearest-to-the-baulk-line-starts. Ronnie wildly overhit his and tried to grab it, to which the crowd laughed uproariously. I then (obviously, this being dreamland) became his opponent. Ronnie fouled on the break, I then missed a shot, he then in-offed his second shot, and I had ball in hand behind the line. I missed a red, but still went for a colour on my second shot (a weird hybrid of pool and snooker rules were in effect) . As I played the shot, with an absolutely ferocious and completely unnecessary amount of pace, the coloured ball turned into a bottle of tomato ketchup. It went in, which was quite amazing considering the impossible angle and the fact it was travelling at warp nine, but in doing so it exploded everywhere and damaged the pocket netting. I then got in trouble for making a ketchuppy mess on the floor.

Massive jump cut to the footplate of a steam locomotive, on which I am curled up asleep. There is a line of tracks, four abreast, which our train is driving up and down with no obvious purpose. I say "our" because with me is Jono (O'Neill, not Coleman), who after a short while starts having a go at me. "DID YOU SEE IT?", he says, real vexed like. I say "see what? I was asleep". "For fuck's SAKE, Mark, Garth Crooks just crashed his train! How did you miss this this!" We step off the footplate and are (luckily) treated immediately to the sight of Garth Crooks crashing his train again, inexplicably derailing while performing the relatively simple act of driving in a straight line. It was definitely Garth Crooks and not Garth Brooks, by the way, because the train driver was black. Although I suppose he could have just been a white dude absolutely caked in soot.

Another jump cut, and now we're in a non-descript house, which I'm pretty sure was Ben Wilson's but which may or may not ever have been actually clarified. It is June 8th, and the second Co:Lin of the year is taking place. Although I am in the house, I am not in the tournament, and my defense of "I didn't think there was going to be another one until January" is roundly decried. So I'm watching a couple of rounds take place in various rooms of Ben's house, and then my phone rings. I answer it, and all I hear is heavy breathing. I pull the phone away from my head to see who rang, and the Facebook app loads. When it does, a video loads of a three way spoon. Jono is big spooning Paul Sinha, who is big spooning me (which ergonomically makes no sense but whatever), and all of us seem quite contented by it. There is then one final jump cut to another Apterite's house - can't remember whose it was, although it was identified in the dream; it was someone like Paul Worsley, but not quite Paul Worsley - whereupon a very homoerotic water pistol fight breaks out.

Pretty spectacularly gay dream, all in all. Pretty proud.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark Deeks » Sat Aug 02, 2014 2:30 pm

Jim Bentley had a cameo in this dream but I can't remember where.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill » Sat Aug 02, 2014 11:09 pm

Mark Deeks wrote:Jono is big spooning Paul Sinha, who is big spooning me (which ergonomically makes no sense but whatever)
Wow.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark Deeks » Sat Aug 02, 2014 11:22 pm

That was pretty much your reaction at the time, too.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ian Volante » Sun Aug 03, 2014 9:39 am

This thread just hit new heights.
meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by James S Roper » Sat Aug 09, 2014 1:05 pm

For reasons I don't know I'm about to perform a piano piece in front of my school year. The piece that I'm about to do is announced by my head of year as being remarkably complex, which is welcomed by the audience with raucous applause (which is incredibly unrealistic). However, halfway through the applauding, the expression of approval is broken by Zarte, who enters the stage somewhat disgruntled, making a Kanye West-esque speech about how all my life I've had things go too easy for me, and that I should be being pushed, maybe even threatened to do better in all aspects of my piano-playing.

Sheepishly, awkwardly, I look to the ground thinking "how on earth is this going to end" in a period of dead silence amongst the hall. In 15 seconds time Zarte has announced I should have to play this piece faster and whilst facing in the opposite direction. The audience seem somewhat oblivious to this now (it's around this point that I think they stopped making noise altogether) therefore I have nobody on my side to support this sudden task inflicted upon me. Zarte however now appears to be holding a baseball with an electrical current somehow passing through it, so I just have to make do an try my best.

Jump cut to the moment where I've finished playing, and unbelievably I've done it and made no mistakes. I look up at Zarte, who's now been replaced by my head of year again (I don't know either) and rather than congratulate me on my efforts, I'm then informed that it's really Graeme's technical genius who'd done all the fiddly work and that I should not be congratulated at all. This dream ends at the point where in a couple of days I tune into the local radio to find that Graeme's now being heralded is one of the best up and coming pianists in the country.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ian Volante » Sun Aug 10, 2014 11:38 am

I was in some random foreign town with my korfball team, but at one point, we were all sat outside a bar, and Mark Deeks was there, and had decided to get the liquid out of a small bottle of gin by making a hole in the bottom of it rather than using the lid. Out of practice I assume.
meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Graeme Cole » Sun Aug 10, 2014 12:21 pm

James S Roper wrote:This dream ends at the point where in a couple of days I tune into the local radio to find that Graeme's now being heralded is one of the best up and coming pianists in the country.
I have actually been referred to as the world's greatest pianist.

At least, I think that's what they were saying.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Sun Aug 10, 2014 2:25 pm

Brief one last night. I'm at my old secondary school in a PSHE lesson, and the task we've been set is 'think of something to do in a lesson once all the work is done'. Oddly enough, no one comments on the irony of this. As the classroom is normally a science classroom and, for some reason, the size of a large cupboard, the only table is full (two of the occupants are Andy Platt and Michelle Nevitt) so I find myself sat at one of the sinks opposite Dan McColm, who's happily beavering away. At that point I realise that I'm dreaming so I make a mental note to, well, make a note of the dream when I wake up. I then wake up.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison » Sun Aug 10, 2014 5:47 pm

Ian Volante wrote:Mark Deeks was there, and had decided to get the liquid out of a small bottle of gin by making a hole in the bottom of it rather than using the lid. Out of practice I assume.
Wrong thread.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:48 am

My latest dream sees me arriving in Leicester railway station for a one-on-one Scrabble match against non-countdowning Scrabbler Calum Edwards. On the way out of the station, I run into Matt B & Lauren H heading into the station. Matt immediately spots me and comes over to say hi, whilst Lauren has to be gently reminded who I am. Not taking this too personally, I head straight into the jump cut to after the match, which I lose 4-1 (probably a better result than I would expect to get against Calum). I'm being given a lift back to the railway station, and en route to the station we stop off at the railway station (shut up it was a dream it made sense at the time) for some dinner. I get some money out of the cash machine and am also dispensed a very greasy, sticky chicken kebab which I heartily tuck into until I realise it's practically uncooked on the inside (and has got sauce all over my money) so I spit it up into the nearest bin. On the way out of the station I once again run into Matt B and Lauren H entering the station and once again, Matt comes over to say hi whilst Lauren seems oblivious to who I am. As I head back to the car my friend appears out of nowhere and compares the lift-giver's daughter to the girl from the Exorcist. At that point I wake up.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ian Volante » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:07 am

Two nights ago I dreamt that a couple of apterites died after putting a disposable barbeque in their tent. I won't say who they were, as they might not like it (and it would be slightly odd those two sharing a tent), but duh anyway.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Sun Sep 07, 2014 6:10 pm

My brain had a low-level short circuit on Friday night, resulting in this-

The dream kicked off with the news that Rachel Riley had been kidnapped. I take this as a cue to assemble a band of apterites to investigate the crime. There are 32 of us in total (despite the fact that later, we all manage to fit inside a closet), including Jono, Dan McColm, Ryan Taylor, Jason Larsen, and in a weird cross-over, Tyrion Lannister. We all gather in the car park outside the North Hykeham branch of Asda, and one jump-cut later, we're inside what is apparently Rachel's London home (to any police who may be reading: I don't know where Rachel lives, or what her house looks like. Or even if she lives in London). It transpires that Rachel is in fact an international money thief (whether or not this is a thing, I'm not sure), is hiding out in her home and has, in a bizarre twist, cloned all 32 members of the rescue team and stuffed them in a closet.

I am now my clone, and after arresting Rachel we ransack her home looking for the money. It turns out that Rachel was able to steal the money after being abducted my aliens (don't ask). At this point I become aware that the entire dream is being narrated by the narrator of Channel 5's Police Interceptors. Eventually, the money is discovered, hidden inside a Monopoly box and disguised as Monopoly money (the suggestion that it might actually BE Monopoly money never comes up). There's just over £200 000 in total, which pisses off the rescue team (Dan especially) as they expected to receive 10 grand each from the caper. Also, a polar bear was involved somehow, but I forget the exact details.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Gavin Chipper » Sun Sep 07, 2014 7:36 pm

Ben Wilson wrote:My brain had a low-level short circuit on Friday night, resulting in this-

The dream kicked off with the news that Rachel Riley had been kidnapped. I take this as a cue to assemble a band of apterites to investigate the crime. There are 32 of us in total (despite the fact that later, we all manage to fit inside a closet), including Jono, Dan McColm, Ryan Taylor, Jason Larsen, and in a weird cross-over, Tyrion Lannister. We all gather in the car park outside the North Hykeham branch of Asda, and one jump-cut later, we're inside what is apparently Rachel's London home (to any police who may be reading: I don't know where Rachel lives, or what her house looks like. Or even if she lives in London). It transpires that Rachel is in fact an international money thief (whether or not this is a thing, I'm not sure), is hiding out in her home and has, in a bizarre twist, cloned all 32 members of the rescue team and stuffed them in a closet.

I am now my clone, and after arresting Rachel we ransack her home looking for the money. It turns out that Rachel was able to steal the money after being abducted my aliens (don't ask). At this point I become aware that the entire dream is being narrated by the narrator of Channel 5's Police Interceptors. Eventually, the money is discovered, hidden inside a Monopoly box and disguised as Monopoly money (the suggestion that it might actually BE Monopoly money never comes up). There's just over £200 000 in total, which pisses off the rescue team (Dan especially) as they expected to receive 10 grand each from the caper. Also, a polar bear was involved somehow, but I forget the exact details.
So what happens about everyone and their clones? Who gets to live your life? Also, presumably the jump cut was where you (the clone) were created. You seem to have a lot of them in your dreams, so they're probably all about cloning.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark Deeks » Mon Sep 08, 2014 4:38 am

Ian Volante wrote:I was in some random foreign town with my korfball team, but at one point, we were all sat outside a bar, and Mark Deeks was there, and had decided to get the liquid out of a small bottle of gin by making a hole in the bottom of it rather than using the lid. Out of practice I assume.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Andy Platt » Fri Sep 12, 2014 5:53 am

Finally in a position to add to this thread!

There was some kind of outdoor party happening for new year's eve, with a combination of people that I work with and people from apterous in attendance. The only person I can really be sure was there was Dan. Anyway, there was general drinking and banter and stuff going on, but then a game of darts broke out. However, for some reason, it was on a huge scale, like the board must have been about 8 to 10 foot in diameter. So we're all watching this game between Dan and some guy from my work, when some people. possibly including Graeme, interrupt the game to start fiddling with the dartboard, adding electronics and removing certain bits here and there, and eventually setting the outer wire ring of the dartboard on fire, leaving the majority of us rather nonplussed. Then, in a kind of creative twist (cheers brain) with about five or ten seconds to go before midnight, the dartboard lit up in the style of the Countdown clock, played the sound the clock plays at the end of a round on Countdown, and shot off a load of fireworks when it hit midnight much to everyone's amusement and delight.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Sun Sep 14, 2014 10:50 am

Last night's contribution to my eventual nervous breakdown is as follows:

We start off in some sort of post-apocalyptic survival situation (I think it was zombies but can't be 100% sure). Jen and Graeme are both there- Graeme working hard to keep everything running, as usual- along with a couple of other apterites but I can't remember exactly who. For some bizarre reason I never really figure out, I am not myself, but have turned into Gus Fring from Breaking Bad. The next few bits of the dream are sketchy for reasons I'll come to in a bit but needless to say, there was a jump cut and I am once again myself. I'm waiting at the bus stop and talking to Innis. Apparently it was the day after COLIN, but CoEdi was also held on the same date, and apparently I chose to attend CoEdi whilst Innis went to COLIN. This resulted in me having to wring details about COLIN out of Innis (apparently Dave Preece won the main event, whilst the hangover was won by 'Andrew Something or Other'). Another jump cut sees me wandering around North Hykeham just before dawn desperately in need of a slash. I stop off at my grandmother's house to use the toilet there, only to suddenly remember that my grandmother's been dead for nine years and I've effectively broken into a stranger's house to use the toilet. I return home- panicking as it's 6:30am and this is usually the time I leave the house- but the street has turned into a French deli that is, for some reason, selling Irish food. I then wake up and hastily jot down all the details of this dream.

Unfortunately, it turns out that the jotting down was itself also a dream, so I wake up again a second time- for real this time- and jot what little detail I can remember down again. If you're wondering, I used to suffer from false awakening a lot when I was younger. I think my record is something like 6 or 7 cycles of 'waking up' before it finally happened for real.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ian Volante » Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:10 am

Brilliant!
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill » Tue Sep 16, 2014 2:46 pm

Unusually for me I had a pretty vivid dream last night. Mainly it wasn't about Countdown until the end but I'll write the whole thing down because I made notes on it before I went back to sleep.

I was either at a screening of or actually part of a Holocaust film which starred Peter Capaldi [have been watching some Thick of It lately] and included a ridiculously amazing sex scene. I either got out of the film or the screening only for a plane to crash into my castle-like surroundings [pretty sure this is 9/11-inspired] and kill all the people who had escaped/seen the film.

This didn't dampen the afterparty, at which I was first to arrive. It soon kicked off. A guy in a suit with blonde hair challenged me to do the Ice Bucket Challenge, which I refused. All of a sudden everyone at the party was getting off with each other, so I went outside onto a mezzanine level of the castle from before where there were "grown-ups". I sat down and had a plate in front of me with two seeded rolls on. Every time I picked one up and took a bite, millions of seeds/grains went all over me and onto the floor. After a few bites the floor was covered up to about two inches with seeds/grains.

I noticed Jon Corby sitting opposite me on a plastic chair, but he only seemed to have 1.5 legs [possibly related to Oscar Pistorius trial.. I watched the documentary last night]. I asked him about it and he looked at me if I was mad before exposing a bloody stump with a single toe on. He said he was going to get the toe amputated soon. It had happened in an accident with a circular saw. He showed me a post he had made to Reddit about the accident which had an album of gory pictures attached [again could be Pistorius trial-related]. The one I can remember was a blood trail from where he had dragged himself from the workshop to the house to phone an ambulance.

Was pretty strange.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison » Tue Sep 16, 2014 3:27 pm

Haha excellent. And in the spirit of "could be" asides, the circular saw thing could be the Greg Norman news piece, right?

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill » Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:44 pm

Didn't even realise. Yeah probably!

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Callum P » Fri Sep 19, 2014 2:21 am

I (wet) dream about Doris Fray a lot.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Fri Oct 17, 2014 6:41 am

It's been a while since my last apto/c4c-dream, but fortunately my subconscious came up with what can only be described as half-dream half-nervous breakdown to compensate.

The setting is a daytime Co:Blivilon. How this is different from a Co:Lon I don't know, but bear with me here. I'm co-organising it with Richard Priest, and there are a staggering amount of apterites there, including Jen Steadman, Innis Carson, Conor Travers, Dan McColm, James Laverty, Mike Brown, Mark Deeks, Graeme Cole, Dylan Taylor, Matt Morrison, Heather Badcock, probably Zarte, probably Jack Worsley, and probably many more.

The event is being held in a cross between a pub and a department store that is really, really large and hard to navigate around and not helped by the fact that games are taking place in two separate locations, but it has reached the end of the group stage. Between us, the organisers and players vote to play a semi-final stage, which panics me a little as I'm concerned about being in time for both my hotel and my train home, which are bizarrely both at the same time. This despite the fact that I left the reservations for both of them at home (apparently me coming was a last-minute decision, despite the fact that I'm one of the organisers). The semi-finals are between James Laverty, Dan McColm, Richard Priest and someone called Bdito (that's not a typo).

Anyways, James & Bdito are both in the other playing room (relative to the one in which we're setting up the semi-finals) so I'm ordered to go and fetch them. Along the way, I'm reminded of the mission in the first Metal Gear Solid game where you have to backtrack through most of the game to fetch a sniper rifle.

The dream subsequently turns into me acting out the first Metal Gear Solid game, only instead of fighting off an army of grunt soldiers, I'm fighting off anthropomrophised emoticons (the head bad guy may or may not have been James Robinson). In my eagerness to retrieve the sniper rifle and return to the Co-event (yes, both) I keep getting spotted by the soldier/smilies and, desperate to save time, I keep allowing myself to be killed/captured so I can have another go. I eventually make it to the room containing the sniper rifle, only to discover that I need to go somewhere else to find a swipe card to access the room, so I decide to sulk in a toilet cubicle.

At some point, I turn into Malcolm Tucker from the Thick of It, and eventually get fed up with hiding so I go on a Rambo-style rampage against the smilies with an assault rifle and make it back to the playing area, which has turned into a cross between a tropical beach and my local Asda, where I (still as Malcolm Tucker) get into an argument with several US senators (who are all women in their late 20s) about the use of biological weapons. For some reason, Guiding Light by Muse is playing in the background throughout most of the second half of the dream and there's a strong smell of tuna everywhere. I wake up shortly after beginning the argument.

Other non-countdown-related dreams I had last night include commiserating with Gibbs from NCIS/Phil Mitchell from Eastenders about the death of the British Doctor guy/Sharon Mitchell respectively, whilst playing with custom-modified Rubik's style puzzles, and one where I'm sprinting down Lincoln High Street ducking behind various obstacles as a Chinese war tank rolls backward and forward firing energy weapons at me (this is as part of some weird elaborate game show).

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison » Fri Oct 17, 2014 7:54 am

"a stagger of apterites" should definitely be our collective noun

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by James Robinson » Fri Oct 17, 2014 6:18 pm

Ben Wilson wrote:The dream subsequently turns into me acting out the first Metal Gear Solid game, only instead of fighting off an army of grunt soldiers, I'm fighting off anthropomrophised emoticons (the head bad guy may or may not have been James Robinson).
I might not have any idea how Metal Gear Solid is played, but I like the idea of being a bad guy controlling (or even being) floating emoticons. Just sounds like some weird paradise..... :idea: :P ;) :) :D :lol: 8-) :mrgreen: :geek: :ugeek:
WE ARE PREMIER LEAGUE!!!
UP THE MIGHTY TERRIERS!!! ;) :) :D :mrgreen: 8-)

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ian Volante » Fri Oct 17, 2014 6:58 pm

Sounds like a cacodemon from Doom!

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jennifer Steadman » Tue Oct 21, 2014 10:42 am

It's been a while, but I finally have a contribution for this thread that isn't just a :D to one of Ben's posts!

So I'm in Winchester, due to meet my friend Emily (who I went travelling with last year) at the pub at 1pm after I've finished a pub crawl. Winchester looks totally different to how it does in real life, the main spectacle in town being a 1400-year-old shopping centre called The Wessex. As I'm heading to meet Emily, I see her driving by me when she pulls over and tells me she isn't sure she's still meeting me as she might be going to Istanbul that evening.

Fast forward to being in a dark dorm room with 6 bunk beds crammed in. 4 of the beds are pushed together horizontally and there are about 10 people all snuggled up on the bottom, including Emily who was snuggled up with Fran's spotty colleague from Black Books and looked very happy about it. It appears that we have congregated to play a real life version of The Mole. Ed McCullagh comes out of the bathroom having just thrown up, fully bald and a bit emaciated. He says he's fine and I am suddenly overwhelmed with an urge to throw things at him. Possibly sensing this, he disappears, in the process stealing three gallons of snake oil that were going to be used for the day's task so he can sell them and become rich. After some brief panic about the snake oil being stolen and widespread consensus that the thief is the Mole, no one seems to care any more and next thing I know I'm on the top bunk of one of the beds, while Zarte is in the bottom one. He has developed dwarfism and is wearing an adorable little suit (possibly influenced by Gus the dwarf mafia boss from Black Books).

For some reason Charlie - who has magic powers - is running The Mole in this series, but is too concerned with magicking the beds around to actually run the task. In slamming our bed against the wall, the safe ladder falls off and I'm left with a terrifyingly small, rickety ladder, so I tell him I'm afraid of tiny ladders on bunk beds and can't get down, so he uses his wizardry to fly me onto the ground where Andy Platt is sitting, wedged between the bed and some lockers. Zarte comes and joins us on the floor, and I'm surprised to see he is standing up totally fine without needing to balance or anything. Charlie then throws Andy a bag of Marmite crisps, which he scoffs happily, and starts aggressively throwing yellow Skittles at me, one of which hits me in the face. He doesn't bother to feed Zarte, but Zarte doesn't seem too bothered by this blatant heightism.

Even though we don't seem to have done a task given The Great Snake Oil Heist, another Apterite (male - not sure who though) comes to take a register of all the Mole characters present. He asks me who I am and I aggressively tell him that my name is "Chardonnay LeAnn Dawson xx". He tells me I haven't been eliminated, which I'm relieved by, but annoyed because this somehow proves I am not the mole. Even though the Mole can't be eliminated. It seems my subconscious has not grasped the rules of The Mole.

Fin.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark Deeks » Tue Oct 21, 2014 11:43 am

I was on stage in my old school assembly hall with Innis Carson, playing the Countdown board game. When it was his deal, he dealt me [don't ask] a hand full of circular pieces of paper about the size of a road tax disc, most of which had the same floral pattern on, interspersed with some important looking written letters with important looking letterheads on them. It was at this moment I discovered Innis had pulled the old bait-and-switch and we were actually now playing that little known variant Australian Constitution Countdown. I said this was unfair, and, as it was my turn, tried to put down seven of the identical floral tax discs and claim I "had a seven", because I didn't have any actual letter tiles. Innis got really rather cross with me, rifled through my stack of papers, found some with letters printed on the back, and chastised me for what he considered to be unsportsmanlike conduct on my part (whereas I actually just hadn't seen them). At this point, we noticed three quarters of the stage had been concealed by a big purple curtain, but that in front of it (the curtain for some reason ran not across the front of the stage, but halfway back, so we were still behind it with room also in front) was an unidentified band playing an unidentified song. We both loved this song, whatever it was, and ran around the curtain to the front of the stage to dance spectacularly badly to it whilst also singing it surprisingly well. The band's lead singer, who started out as a man but morphed at some point into Kim Deal from The Pixies, encouraged us to keep singing and let us do that two-people-singing-into-one-mic thing. There was no crowd, but if there had been, they'd've been loving it probably. After the song finished, Kim said, "right, time for the Backstreet Boys", at which point we left and were replaced by will.i.am.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by James Laverty » Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:49 pm

Proof that I spend too much time on the forum and Apterous recently as I had my first ever Countdown dream last night.

Weirdly, I was in the (now demolished) hall of my old school building, hosting my own Co:Event, with regular apterites attending, as well as some of my uni mates, and celebriity guest Jermaine Jenas (not entirely sure why).

Unusually the music I have been using for the round has been played on the organ and I am unsure of how this has happened. Other than that, all seems normal except for Dylan losing heavily to my former housemate, Hannah. Jenas also proved capable at Countdown, making his way to the semi finals which lined up as...

Jack Worsley v Jermaine Jenas
Jen Steadman v Callum Todd

It is then I reveal the great twist of the event, and that everybody is allowed to pick a teammate for the final rounds. Jack picks Jono, JJ picking Dan, Jen picking Giles and Callum picks Innis and the games begin.

Final becomes Jack and Jono v Jen and Giles, with Jenas hosting and Graeme in DC. In a tight game Jack and Jono take the winning shield, which I had found left in the trophy room. During prizegiving however, it all gets weird and I somehow manage to fall through the trapdoor on the stage, and find that the music had been replaced and that Mark Deeks has been playing the organ, phantom style, for every round all day. Mark then proceeds to come on stage and sing Phantom of the Opera, with altered lyrics. As I despair at this turn of events, I find out that Jenas was really Andy Platt wearing a mask and stilts, explaining why Jenas was so good at 4L.
Definitely not Jamie McNeill or Schrodinger's Cat....

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Wed Nov 05, 2014 8:57 am

Brief one last night. I'm in a sort-of 'space embassy' fighting off an invading horde or Wraith using both conventional and alien weapons. I've eliminated them all but run out of ammunition (why this is a concern when the battle has been won I have no idea) so I run back to the weapons supply depot, only to find it run by Jono. Alien weapons are apparently powered by seeds and he has a fairly hefty supply (about half a paint tin's worth) but apparently loading the weapon would take roughly two weeks so instead he offers me his secret weapon, which is a carrot that has been modified into a working firearm. It's literally just a carrot with a trigger poking out of the bottom. I wake up before I find out how effective it would have been.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill » Wed Nov 05, 2014 12:55 pm

Ben Wilson wrote:It's literally just a carrot with a trigger poking out of the bottom.
Hahaha..

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ian Volante » Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:16 pm

Jon O'Neill wrote:
Ben Wilson wrote:It's literally just a carrot with a trigger poking out of the bottom.
Hahaha..
Sounds quite like a spud gun.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby » Wed Nov 05, 2014 4:10 pm

Ian Volante wrote:
Jon O'Neill wrote:
Ben Wilson wrote:It's literally just a carrot with a trigger poking out of the bottom.
Hahaha..
Sounds quite like a spud gun.
Sounds like a description of Jono himself tbf

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Zarte Siempre » Wed Nov 05, 2014 6:50 pm

Jon Corby wrote:Sounds like a description of Jono himself tbf
Actually have tears in my eyes :lol:
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill » Wed Nov 05, 2014 8:46 pm

I think I appear in more than my fair share of people's dreams.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Phil Reynolds » Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:53 pm

Jon O'Neill wrote:I think I appear in more than my fair share of people's dreams.
You don't appear in enough of mine. ;)

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Fri Nov 14, 2014 2:08 pm

Nurse, it happened again.

Last night's dream saw me at Co:Lon waiting for the festivities to start. I'm sat around a table with Richard Priest, Innis and two other guys when Michael Wallace came around to do the draw. For some reason, the draw was conducted by pulling Scrabble tiles out of a bag, then matching then with pre-printed tiles that are already on people's tables. This seemed to hit a snag when everyone realised that no names had actually been assigned to the letters that were being drawn, so everyone ended up sat where they were sat anyway, meaning that after Innis and Richard hot-foot it from the table in round 1 I end up playing Glen Webb and Mike Brown (though they weren't originally sat at the table I was at). Mike and Glen play 1 so, in an odd dereliction of duty, I decide to get up and start taking photos of the room. Turn out that in addition to countdowners such as Mark Deeks, Jon Corby, Graeme Cole and James Robinson (and those I already mentioned), also there are several Scrabble players there, including Austin Shin, Paul Gallen, Mark Nyman and two Nigel Richardses. After getting a couple of blurry photos of Nigel's beard I sit back down with Glen and Webb, ready to host the next game (apparently my subconscious doesn't know how these things work) but as I sit down and look up I have somehow managed to teleport to the next table over, making the other 2 people sat there cry. Sheepishly, I sit back down next to Mike and Glen and start hosting whilst the three of us try to figure out how I pulled off my 'magic trick'. At that point I wake up.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Andy McGurn » Tue Dec 02, 2014 9:27 pm

I dreamed i was at the series 71 finals and it was a game between mark b davies and Tricia Pay, I was in the green room eating cakes with some apterites and we saw a numbers game with a target of 852, Tricia declared 854 and then mark declared 953 before quickly correcting himself and saying 853. He was about to start describing his solution when Tricia got into a major strop and started causing a disturbance protesting that mark should not be allowed to have any points cos he declared wrongly at first. It led to the police being called but i didn't stay asleep long enough for a resolution...

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by James Laverty » Sun Dec 07, 2014 1:12 am

Weird one from a few nights ago I forgot to post earlier.

It started with Dan McColm turning up at my front door and handing me a bottle of "water" saying he would be back later. As I walk back to the living room I find that Andy Platt, Callum Pickering, Adam Curran, Jen Steadman, Callum Todd, George Pryn and Jon Stitcher have somehow got into the house. The scene then merges to a community hall where about 60 apterites as well as my fellow members of my korfball club were attending a party, where the bottle of water Dan gave me earlier came into play. As I had guessed this was actually vodka and was being used for making soft drinks alcoholic (I have no idea why this was needed seeing as everybody in the dream was over 18).

Party is in full swing when karaoke starts, with Jen shoving people up out the way to go first, where instead of the words to Do They Know It's Christmas coming up as expected, the screen instead shows clips from Countdown. After the korfball girls have a few games of Shag, Marry, Kill with the people on the clips, I finally get it working. Rest of the dream was more a montage of apterites singing, but ends with Dylan going on a Kanye West-like stage invasion. At this point I woke up giggling
Definitely not Jamie McNeill or Schrodinger's Cat....

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Sun Dec 14, 2014 7:34 pm

Tonight's dream is a first me in that I'm actually dreaming about watching Countdown. The episode in question is Matt Morrison vs Zarte Siempre- for some reason Matt's sat in the champion's chair despite it being clearly stated that Zarte is on 3 wins (the first of which was over Rhys Benjamin). Also, it's on the very old set that was used in around 1985-1986 time, and Richard Whiteley is hosting. I can't remember who won the game, only that Zarte mentioned and was very positive about Matt's recent trip to Kenya.

There was then suddenly a jump cut and I'm now packing away COLIN, which for some reason was being held at the same time as a School sports day. In the actual school where the sports day was being held (it's still a January evening, though). After awkwardly barging my way through a bunch of kids playing rounders, I devise a way to pack away an entire board game into a box no bigger than a deck of cards. I then wake up.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Zarte Siempre » Sun Dec 14, 2014 8:19 pm

I'm never sure whether to be flattered or concerned when people begin dreaming of me...
Possibly the first contestant to accelerate with a mic clipped...

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison » Sun Dec 14, 2014 8:42 pm

... and it ended up dreaming of a tiny box. I'd say compliment.

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by James Laverty » Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:14 pm

Unusual one last night. My old university band were mysteriously invited to play a concert in Hull by a mystery investor for a rather generous sum of money. We arrived at the concert venue, finding out that the investor was Zarte who proceeded to knock out our lead singer with a frying pan and take his place in the band.
Definitely not Jamie McNeill or Schrodinger's Cat....

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Zarte Siempre » Thu Jan 15, 2015 5:24 pm

James Laverty wrote:Unusual one last night. My old university band were mysteriously invited to play a concert in Hull by a mystery investor for a rather generous sum of money. We arrived at the concert venue, finding out that the investor was Zarte who proceeded to knock out our lead singer with a frying pan and take his place in the band.
That DOES sound like something I'd do...
Possibly the first contestant to accelerate with a mic clipped...

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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson » Fri Jan 23, 2015 7:53 pm

'Twas the night before the night before COLIN, and all through my head,
my subconscious went mental as I laid in bed.

Nothing was ready, I was all a-flap,
As guests were arriving, both ladies and chap.

A Japanese tea garden was the setting this year,
because it was cheap, but the Memorial Hall: dear.

Came Bayfield, came Siempre, came Steadman, came Mills,
Came Platt, came O'Neill, came Corby, came Hills. (not really, but I needed to make it rhyme somehow)

The first game started, and all seemed well-
but no one knew what to do. Shouted I: 'f**king hell!'

No announcements had been made, so as quick as a flash,
I grabbed a notepad and jotted down in a dash:

'It's three to a table, one hosts whilst two play,
use the sound modules and you die', I did say.

'If just two to your table, then this you must do:
play your last game as though against pru.'(ne)

I then looked on my screen to see just who
who was unlucky enough to be playing the pru(ne).

It was Miss Steadman, and next to Jennifer,
sat one Triple H, yes, as in the wrestler.

Knowing now that all were playing and happy,
I went back to my laptop, to find a strange chappy.

The person was me! Off I told him to piss,
As the screen was still off, something was most amiss.

Graeme's programme wasn't loaded! I started to worry,
But then my alarm went off, I woke up in a hurry.

And prayed that this sort of shit doesn't happen at the real COLIN XI.

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