C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Discuss anything interesting but not remotely Countdown-related here.

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Ryan Taylor
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ryan Taylor »

I got Screwball Scramble for Christmas quite a few years ago. I seem to remember it being all too easy after playing it a few goes but the bridge thing sometimes still caught me out because I was rushing too much. The clock noise always grated on me!
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark James »

I could get over the wobbly table with one quick flick and jump up the circular things, which reminded me of rollos, with just one jump. I was always over zealous with the final catapult though and would frequently miss the bell. I much preferred the game Aaaaaaagh and its vertical relation Yeaaargh. Much trickier games.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Thomas Carey »

I've got a screwball scramble, and I just CANNOT do the penultimate one (the weird arrow thing before the bell.)
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by James Robinson »

Thomas Carey wrote:I've got a screwball scramble, and I just CANNOT do the penultimate one (the weird arrow thing before the bell.)
I always wanted to own one, ever since I saw that advert that everyone will probably remember, the one where that kid's head turns into the screwball, cos it just seemed like a cool game. Never had one, only played it once when it was in a toy shop, but always thought it seemed like one of the best toys ever. 8-)
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Rhys Benjamin »

I quite like it, but, like all toys, you grow out of it.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Lesley Hines »

Screwball scramble: I've got an Addict-a-ball that's thoroughly entertaining. Bought one for my nephew for Christmas and spied another one for me in the charity shop up the road. Haven't completed it yet tho - it's really tough!
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by James Robinson »

Lesley Hines wrote:Screwball scramble: I've got an Addict-a-ball that's thoroughly entertaining. Bought one for my nephew for Christmas and spied another one for me in the charity shop up the road. Haven't completed it yet tho - it's really tough!
Yeah, I always used to play with those in shops. So addictive, yet good fun. 8-)
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson »

Lesley Hines wrote:Screwball scramble: I've got an Addict-a-ball that's thoroughly entertaining. Bought one for my nephew for Christmas and spied another one for me in the charity shop up the road. Haven't completed it yet tho - it's really tough!
I got myself one of those having seen it on sale in the Discovery Store, really really addictive. I have managed to crack it once though. :) And that's not using what I call a 'Kororinpa flick' where you just bounce it around randomly hoping to flick the ball from step 1 directly into step 100.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Tom Barnes »

I've just discovered this thread and thought I'd share with you a dream I had shortly before I applied to go on Countdown.

I was on Countdown, don't know who I was playing against. Sam Goodyear was in Dictionary Corner and told a fairly long anecdote in his own exuberant style - I can't remember what it was about. (Most of you haven't met Sam - he has a lot of similarities to a young Gyles Brandreth. I hadn't thought of this comparison before now, and obviously it's influenced by the fact that he was in DC, but I am still very pleased with its aptness. But I digress).

There was a numbers round which was very difficult and I couldn't solve (with the benefit it hindsight it was probably 331 for four large, 3 and 6). When I looked over to the numbers board James Nguyen was there, getting off with Rachel Riley. (I haven't met James, but it was someone who looked like his picture on Apterous, so I assume it was him). Then I woke up.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison »

Welcome to our world, Tom.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill »

Ok I had a Countdown dream last night, perhaps because I played my first bit of Apterous for ages yesterday.

So I played against Ryan Taylor in a Central London pub, and lost by 16 points. There and loads of c4c people were watching, and it felt really embarrassing to lose to someone who cheats on quiz machines. Susie was in Dictionary Corner but I don't remember there being a host.

Anyways, the crucial moments were when I declared ULRIKA thinking that's how you spelt EUREKA (I don't think this awakely), while Ryan had BURIAL, and then the crucial conundrum, some -ING plop, which Ryan beat me to on the buzzer. I can't spell (see DISPELL in the COLEI final vs. Kirk) and I'm pretty awful at doing conundrums fast, so this dream basically sums up my Countdown insecurities. Especially when contrasted to Ryan Taylor, who my subconscious clearly sees as some sort of role model.

Fuck my life.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ryan Taylor »

Jon O'Neill wrote:Ok I had a Countdown dream last night, perhaps because I played my first bit of Apterous for ages yesterday.

So I played against Ryan Taylor in a Central London pub, and lost by 16 points. There and loads of c4c people were watching, and it felt really embarrassing to lose to someone who cheats on quiz machines. Susie was in Dictionary Corner but I don't remember there being a host.

Anyways, the crucial moments were when I declared ULRIKA thinking that's how you spelt EUREKA (I don't think this awakely), while Ryan had BURIAL, and then the crucial conundrum, some -ING plop, which Ryan beat me to on the buzzer. I can't spell (see DISPELL in the COLEI final vs. Kirk) and I'm pretty awful at doing conundrums fast, so this dream basically sums up my Countdown insecurities. Especially when contrasted to Ryan Taylor, who my subconscious clearly sees as some sort of role model.

Fuck my life.
Haha, excellent! It would seem you are not the only person whose dream I was in last night. I got a text from Hex Girl and apparently we were being chased by aliens like in Cloverfield. It's nice to be so well liked by everyone!
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill »

Ryan Taylor wrote:
Jon O'Neill wrote:Ok I had a Countdown dream last night, perhaps because I played my first bit of Apterous for ages yesterday.

So I played against Ryan Taylor in a Central London pub, and lost by 16 points. There and loads of c4c people were watching, and it felt really embarrassing to lose to someone who cheats on quiz machines. Susie was in Dictionary Corner but I don't remember there being a host.

Anyways, the crucial moments were when I declared ULRIKA thinking that's how you spelt EUREKA (I don't think this awakely), while Ryan had BURIAL, and then the crucial conundrum, some -ING plop, which Ryan beat me to on the buzzer. I can't spell (see DISPELL in the COLEI final vs. Kirk) and I'm pretty awful at doing conundrums fast, so this dream basically sums up my Countdown insecurities. Especially when contrasted to Ryan Taylor, who my subconscious clearly sees as some sort of role model.

Fuck my life.
Haha, excellent! It would seem you are not the only person whose dream I was in last night. I got a text from Hex Girl and apparently we were being chased by aliens like in Cloverfield. It's nice to be so well liked by everyone!
Hex girl?
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ryan Taylor »

Jon O'Neill wrote:Hex girl?
Morricock knows. A girl who I was out with left on her own because I was playing Hex. Or was you implying it should be Hex Boy?
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark James »

I had a dream Jon and Matt Morrison were at my house but they were getting bored as they're was nothing to do so they were messing about out in the back garden and Jon opened the shed and found a box of twirls and was happy, then when we went back inside, the whole back room was full of bags of crisps and chocolate bars.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill »

Mark James wrote:I had a dream Jon and Matt Morrison were at my house but they were getting bored as they're was nothing to do so they were messing about out in the back garden and Jon opened the shed and found a box of twirls and was happy, then when we went back inside, the whole back room was full of bags of crisps and chocolate bars.
Which Jon?
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby »

Jon O'Neill wrote:
Mark James wrote:I had a dream Jon and Matt Morrison were at my house but they were getting bored as they're was nothing to do so they were messing about out in the back garden and Jon opened the shed and found a box of twirls and was happy, then when we went back inside, the whole back room was full of bags of crisps and chocolate bars.
Which Jon?
I was going to ask that, but I wasn't sure if/why I wanted to know.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark James »

Jon Corby wrote:
Jon O'Neill wrote:
Mark James wrote:I had a dream Jon and Matt Morrison were at my house but they were getting bored as they're was nothing to do so they were messing about out in the back garden and Jon opened the shed and found a box of twirls and was happy, then when we went back inside, the whole back room was full of bags of crisps and chocolate bars.
Which Jon?
I was going to ask that, but I wasn't sure if/why I wanted to know.
Sorry. It was Jon O'Neill. Maybe next time Corby.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill »

YESSSSS!!!!!!
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jennifer Steadman »

Not a particularly interesting Countdown dream/nightmare, and hopefully not a prophetic one, but in said dream Countdown was cancelled and I was absolutely devastated, pouring my heart out on Facebook and suchlike. Unfortunately no-one understood my sorrow except my (also Countdown-loving) mother, who was similarly upset. Everyone else just thought I was tragic to be so committed to it. [That part was based on real life.]

Fortunately my last 'prophetic' dream didn't come true (Tonbridge not getting into the play-offs), so I imagine there's nothing to worry about.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ryan Taylor »

I appeared to be on holiday somewhere staying in an apartment and the US Open was on and Murray was in the final. I saw Matt Bayfield outside my like patio doors and I started chatting to him but he had a suitcase with him and said he was in a rush (he was looking shifty, as though there was a body in the case or something). He said he'd catch up with me later and he did! We watched Murray win the US Open and then almost immediately were transported to the English Channel except it was clear water and quite warm. We were with a load of other people in the "pool" that was the English Channel and we were challenging each other to get to the other side of the pool. We kept setting off but kept being dragged back by the current. Eventually I actually got across and it only took me 3 arm strokes. When I got to the other side I stood up on a table (that was floating in the water) and celebrated.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Dinos Sfyris »

I watched Benjamin Button last night and a lady swims the channel in that. She didn't do it in 3 arm strokes though. From this I can conclude:

1. Ryan Taylor is an exceptional dream swimmer
2. Clearly from this vague coincidence we are obviously psychically connected in some way
3. I have some work for Matt Bayfield
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison »

I remember two dreams from last night. The first one had nothing to do with Countdown but was quite funny anyway. I remember I had to keep sharing a bathroom with a really fat ugly family and we all had to shower in front of each other. Then after a shower I was having some sort of celebration party with Heather except fuck all people turned up, and also the main dish was a huge cheesecake-cum-cake(no cum cake jokes please) which then had another cheesecake and a chocolate torte chopped up on top of it as some kind of mental amalgamation of awesome cakeness. I think it was inspired by seeing this article, and I think it shows I need to lose some weight.

Anyway, the other dream was the Countdown-y one. So it started as if I was watching a documentary, I didn't particularly feel connected to it, like I was watching on TV. In slow motion there was a camera panning parallel to a boating lake or something. I could tell the camera was running along a road or next to one as there was the slightest glimpse of tarmac along the bottom and a big chain link fence in front of the lake. There were people swimming, some people sailing, it felt summery and quaint and nice, all slow motion and dreamy. There was probably some MGMT music playing, that kind of thing. I started thinking for some reason about the logistics of the set up for the camera, thinking it must be on a really high-tech rail, and most importantly quite a long rail - I'd been watching for a while and it has just travelled all along the side of this lake for quite some distance. Anyway at one point it goes under a bridge, and so I look down towards the floor where the camera must be travelling along, and I can see the camera rails but then realise "oh, hang on, I can look around, this isn't a documentary I'm watching at all" and I realise it's actually me on some kind of rails set up travelling along looking at stuff.

The bridge is only short but when it comes out the other side the lake is no longer there at the side of the road, there are buildings, I look around and I'm travelling somehow along a road, looks like San Francisco or something, that kind of vibe. By now I'm no longer in slow motion, like everything sped up to normal speed once I realised I was travelling myself and not watching TV. The road soon becomes a motorway and I'm properly racing along at car-esque speed. At this point I start to think about what the hell is going on - how I can be travelling along on these camera rails like this seemingly not being propelled by anything? At which point I leave the ground and start travelling away from the motorway over some hills. I look up and realise that I am now suspended from a rope. I am hanging on to it myself, but I am not using any energy or having any struggle to hold on, nor do I sense any danger or even the possibility of falling as I get higher and higher. I look up and see that the rope is running along some kind of tramline-looking system.

So once I get away from the motorway and high over some hills, I come back down the other side and things have slowed down to a more reasonable pace. My tramlines have again joined up with a road, but a much less fast one, travelling through a fairly concrete-y town. I see two people I recognise. The first is my friend Al (from university, though I haven't seen him in over four years). He's really tall, quite ginger, very white, and a wannabe rapper (this is all a real description of him by the way) but for some reason in this dream he's in a wheelchair and being pushed around by an older man. As I travel overhead, I look back towards him and shout down his name. He hears me, looks around a bit, and then looks up and smiles, though I'm some way past him now. I turn back around forward and look down to the ground again where I see Phil Collinge smoking a cigarette and having an argument with a block of flats. He looked quite angry, like the block of flats was a really good friend and they'd just let him down for no good reason. I didn't catch Phil's attention.

The urban environment fades into more of a village thing, then there's a sharp turn to the left and I find myself at the lower end of a heavily-sloped field. It's basically a hill but you can see all the plough marks in it as I look down so it feels more like a field. The plough marks are only faint though, as interestingly it is now deep winter, quite cold, and the field is covered in a foot of snow. As I enter the field I pass a sort of barn-looking building at the bottom of the field below me, and my tramlines take me up one side of the hill. I'm quite high now, 40-50 feet in the air, and I reach about half way up the hill and from my viewpoint I can see over the peak of the hill into the fields up and beyond it. They are all lush green, it seems the winter is entirely localised to this field I'm in. Anyway, suddenly there's a tug on my tramlines and I'm swung further upwards. I look up and realised I've reached the end of the line. It's not connected to anything, just exists in the air. It's a bit like the end of a zip wire where you swing up when you get there. I swing back down again and expect to start travelling back down the slope but my rope is now stuck at the end and I realise I'm supposed to get off.

I fancy doing it in style though, and figure with all the snow on the ground and the fact I'm quite high off the ground I've got plenty of room for error to do a fucking cool backwards somersault dismount. So I start swinging on the spot a little bit, and as I do so I look around the field and notice there's only one other guy in the field that I can see. He appears to be a youngish boy in a parka jacket with scruffy dark short hair. I feel like he's watching me swinging, wondering what the fuck I am doing up there, so I feel a bit of pressure. Anyway, I become quite conscious of making sure I dismount properly, even to the extent I can remember checking all my wrist bracelets to make sure they wouldn't snag when I let go of the rope. Which I do, and I make the same mistake that I have made several times in my life when trying to do backward somersaults (not often to be fair, but a few times in swimming pools) of thinking I have more time than I do, and under-rotating. So instead of landing on my feet, I get most of the way round but land like a belly flop facing down into the snow.

Immediately I feel annoyed and embarrassed, and have the sudden urge to have a quick wee. I pull my dick out but of course I'm lying front down in the snow (facing up the slope, by the way) and I'm taken aback by how cold the snow is on my dick. I manage to get a few tiny and random squirts out and whilst doing so I realise the kid I saw in the field is now walking towards me to see what the fuck I'm up to, probably check I'm ok considering I just totally failed a back somersault and am now shuffling about in the snow like I'm paralysed or something. I just about manage to tuck my dick away and stand up when he gets over to me and I realise it's Joseph Krol. I can see before he's even said anything his eyes are wandering down to the small yellow stains in the snow, so I try to take control of the conversation quickly and say the first thing in my head which was something like "wow, can you believe I've been travelling on that line for about 8 miles or something?!" This seems to catch his attention so I elaborate, completely making it up, "yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a BT power line they didn't use or something."

It seems I've got Joseph's mind away from the yellow snow but instead of commenting on my whole swinging-from-a-suspended-line coolness, he just starts talking about his gran Daisy, and points to her behind me. I turn round and discover that we're not alone in the field at all, in fact there seems to be some kind of wintery family fun day thing going on. There indeed is Joseph Krol's granny Daisy, sat with Sophie next to her looking down the hill, and there's also a spattering of about 30 other people spread down the hill too. As I said before, we're down one side of the hill, and a few metres in front of where the two Krols are sitting, and set up next to the fence that runs along the side of the field, is a big barbecue. There's a whole pig laid out on the griddle, eyes and everything. (Saw this on Man vs. Food a few days back.) I think it's probably time for me to leave. I remember thinking hanging around with the Krols at a winter family fun day with a pig on a barbecue and fuck all else going on wasn't my idea of fun, so I started walking down the hill back towards the village road that my tramlines had been following before they turned into the field. Joseph follows me and starts telling me a story about how he tried to get some of Sophie's rabbits onto the barbecue because he thought they'd taste great, except Sophie had started crying and his gran Daisy had told him to behave and not kill Sophie's pets. I didn't seem that interested in his story until he told me that just before he arrived he'd caught his gran breaking one of the rabbits necks with her bare hands. He said that he didn't think Sophie had seen it happen, but that Sophie hadn't spoken a word in the last 15 minutes since, and wondered if she knew what their gran had done.

For some reason this made me chuckle. I felt sorry for the rabbits, with granny trying to wring their necks and Joseph trying to barbecue them, but all I could think about was how funny his gran was. I looked back up the hill at her (we were most of the way down now) and she just stared back at me with the iciest eyes ever, proper scary woman. Was one of those things where you turn round and look at someone and they're already looking straight at you and you suddenly think "shit, I bet she's been staring at me with those motherfucking icy eyes this whole time". More than ever I felt the need to just get out of there, so I was surprised and annoyed when just as I was getting close to the open gate at the bottom of the field Joseph decides to bring up that whole thing I said earlier about how the crazy suspended tramline thing I was travelling on was a disused BT power line.

He demanded that instead of me leaving the field, we had to go into the barn thing and ask someone about it. So we did go in. Once inside I realised it wasn't a farm barn, it was actually a marquee, the sort you would find at a country fayre kind of thing. Inside there were some seats, some stalls selling food, an area set aside presumably for a village dance later on, and a small smattering of people. Joseph walked us up to one guy who was sat at a desk looking through some vinyl singles and fiddling with a microphone - presumably setting up the tannoy system. Joseph started to explain "Matt says that that tramline thing goes on for miles and miles and that it is run by BT". I remember thinking "ah man, look I only said that to shut you up so you might not notice I'd had a wee in the snow and got some on my trousers, it's all bullshit" but I just stood there looking sheepish, also wondering what the hell this tannoy guy (you could tell he was the sort who does local radio and thinks somehow that makes him a celebrity) was thinking about me following around this little kid making up weird stories to him. The radio/tannoy guy just laughed at Joseph, changing his gaze to look into my eyes mid-laugh. I started to turn around to get out of there but Joseph grabbed my t-shirt and said "no wait" and got a bit angry with the guy saying something like "look, why don't you just ring up BT, you'll see!".

Which the guy then did, in a very "fine, I'll make you both look like the idiots you are then" way. He picked up a phone that was stuck to the edge of the canvas 'wall' of the marquee and started talking to someone. You could tell whoever on the other end was disproving my story as the radio guy was just smiling going "Yup... yup" etc. I did think to myself "well, yeah I made up the bit about it being a disused BT cable but I mean fucking hell I didn't make up how far I travelled on it". I started to doubt myself, started to think that maybe I'd imagined the whole thing - I mean, a power cable in mid air supported by nothing? that seems pretty stupid the more I was thinking about it - I started to think maybe I was drunk and that I'd imagined the whole thing, there was no cable and I'd just been woken up by Joseph Krol in a field having pissed myself in a drunken stupour. I felt pretty shit and just wanted to get the hell out of there right then.

I turned around to walk away again, and Joseph didn't stop me. I looked back and he was staying standing by the desk, but looking at me all disappointed like I'd liked to him and destroyed his dreams (of a long cable suspended in mid-air you could travel around on). But then just as I was leaving earshot I heard the radio guy, still on the phone, going "Oh really? But that's... oh ok. How interesting" and I turned and walked back to find out what was going on. He put the phone down, and looked surprised but still had a massive cocky smile on his face, the sort of guy who pretends he's so cool that nothing really ever surprises him. He proceeded to inform us that the BT engineer had discovered something whilst being on the phone to him and that yes, the cable probably was something that had been left behind from a planned mid-air cable upgrade they never finished, and that it did indeed travel some way - 8,647 kilometres to be precise (I knew the idiot radio guy actually meant metres not kilometres but couldn't be arsed to try and correct him) and that it started the other side of town next to the lake. Interestingly, the town was called Malaysia. Anyway, I felt much more at ease, quite vindicated. And Joseph looked pretty chuffed to find out I was telling the truth too. The radio guy was still smiling rather than looking defeated and wrong, but hey, you can't have everything. I woke up.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby »

Matt Morrison wrote:I remember two dreams from last night. The first one had nothing to do with Countdown but was quite funny anyway. I remember I had to keep sharing a bathroom with a really fat ugly family and we all had to shower in front of each other. Then after a shower I was having some sort of celebration party with Heather except fuck all people turned up, and also the main dish was a huge cheesecake-cum-cake(no cum cake jokes please) which then had another cheesecake and a chocolate torte chopped up on top of it as some kind of mental amalgamation of awesome cakeness. I think it was inspired by seeing this article, and I think it shows I need to lose some weight.

Anyway, the other dream was the Countdown-y one. So it started as if I was watching a documentary, I didn't particularly feel connected to it, like I was watching on TV. In slow motion there was a camera panning parallel to a boating lake or something. I could tell the camera was running along a road or next to one as there was the slightest glimpse of tarmac along the bottom and a big chain link fence in front of the lake. There were people swimming, some people sailing, it felt summery and quaint and nice, all slow motion and dreamy. There was probably some MGMT music playing, that kind of thing. I started thinking for some reason about the logistics of the set up for the camera, thinking it must be on a really high-tech rail, and most importantly quite a long rail - I'd been watching for a while and it has just travelled all along the side of this lake for quite some distance. Anyway at one point it goes under a bridge, and so I look down towards the floor where the camera must be travelling along, and I can see the camera rails but then realise "oh, hang on, I can look around, this isn't a documentary I'm watching at all" and I realise it's actually me on some kind of rails set up travelling along looking at stuff.

The bridge is only short but when it comes out the other side the lake is no longer there at the side of the road, there are buildings, I look around and I'm travelling somehow along a road, looks like San Francisco or something, that kind of vibe. By now I'm no longer in slow motion, like everything sped up to normal speed once I realised I was travelling myself and not watching TV. The road soon becomes a motorway and I'm properly racing along at car-esque speed. At this point I start to think about what the hell is going on - how I can be travelling along on these camera rails like this seemingly not being propelled by anything? At which point I leave the ground and start travelling away from the motorway over some hills. I look up and realise that I am now suspended from a rope. I am hanging on to it myself, but I am not using any energy or having any struggle to hold on, nor do I sense any danger or even the possibility of falling as I get higher and higher. I look up and see that the rope is running along some kind of tramline-looking system.

So once I get away from the motorway and high over some hills, I come back down the other side and things have slowed down to a more reasonable pace. My tramlines have again joined up with a road, but a much less fast one, travelling through a fairly concrete-y town. I see two people I recognise. The first is my friend Al (from university, though I haven't seen him in over four years). He's really tall, quite ginger, very white, and a wannabe rapper (this is all a real description of him by the way) but for some reason in this dream he's in a wheelchair and being pushed around by an older man. As I travel overhead, I look back towards him and shout down his name. He hears me, looks around a bit, and then looks up and smiles, though I'm some way past him now. I turn back around forward and look down to the ground again where I see Phil Collinge smoking a cigarette and having an argument with a block of flats. He looked quite angry, like the block of flats was a really good friend and they'd just let him down for no good reason. I didn't catch Phil's attention.

The urban environment fades into more of a village thing, then there's a sharp turn to the left and I find myself at the lower end of a heavily-sloped field. It's basically a hill but you can see all the plough marks in it as I look down so it feels more like a field. The plough marks are only faint though, as interestingly it is now deep winter, quite cold, and the field is covered in a foot of snow. As I enter the field I pass a sort of barn-looking building at the bottom of the field below me, and my tramlines take me up one side of the hill. I'm quite high now, 40-50 feet in the air, and I reach about half way up the hill and from my viewpoint I can see over the peak of the hill into the fields up and beyond it. They are all lush green, it seems the winter is entirely localised to this field I'm in. Anyway, suddenly there's a tug on my tramlines and I'm swung further upwards. I look up and realised I've reached the end of the line. It's not connected to anything, just exists in the air. It's a bit like the end of a zip wire where you swing up when you get there. I swing back down again and expect to start travelling back down the slope but my rope is now stuck at the end and I realise I'm supposed to get off.

I fancy doing it in style though, and figure with all the snow on the ground and the fact I'm quite high off the ground I've got plenty of room for error to do a fucking cool backwards somersault dismount. So I start swinging on the spot a little bit, and as I do so I look around the field and notice there's only one other guy in the field that I can see. He appears to be a youngish boy in a parka jacket with scruffy dark short hair. I feel like he's watching me swinging, wondering what the fuck I am doing up there, so I feel a bit of pressure. Anyway, I become quite conscious of making sure I dismount properly, even to the extent I can remember checking all my wrist bracelets to make sure they wouldn't snag when I let go of the rope. Which I do, and I make the same mistake that I have made several times in my life when trying to do backward somersaults (not often to be fair, but a few times in swimming pools) of thinking I have more time than I do, and under-rotating. So instead of landing on my feet, I get most of the way round but land like a belly flop facing down into the snow.

Immediately I feel annoyed and embarrassed, and have the sudden urge to have a quick wee. I pull my dick out but of course I'm lying front down in the snow (facing up the slope, by the way) and I'm taken aback by how cold the snow is on my dick. I manage to get a few tiny and random squirts out and whilst doing so I realise the kid I saw in the field is now walking towards me to see what the fuck I'm up to, probably check I'm ok considering I just totally failed a back somersault and am now shuffling about in the snow like I'm paralysed or something. I just about manage to tuck my dick away and stand up when he gets over to me and I realise it's Joseph Krol. I can see before he's even said anything his eyes are wandering down to the small yellow stains in the snow, so I try to take control of the conversation quickly and say the first thing in my head which was something like "wow, can you believe I've been travelling on that line for about 8 miles or something?!" This seems to catch his attention so I elaborate, completely making it up, "yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a BT power line they didn't use or something."

It seems I've got Joseph's mind away from the yellow snow but instead of commenting on my whole swinging-from-a-suspended-line coolness, he just starts talking about his gran Daisy, and points to her behind me. I turn round and discover that we're not alone in the field at all, in fact there seems to be some kind of wintery family fun day thing going on. There indeed is Joseph Krol's granny Daisy, sat with Sophie next to her looking down the hill, and there's also a spattering of about 30 other people spread down the hill too. As I said before, we're down one side of the hill, and a few metres in front of where the two Krols are sitting, and set up next to the fence that runs along the side of the field, is a big barbecue. There's a whole pig laid out on the griddle, eyes and everything. (Saw this on Man vs. Food a few days back.) I think it's probably time for me to leave. I remember thinking hanging around with the Krols at a winter family fun day with a pig on a barbecue and fuck all else going on wasn't my idea of fun, so I started walking down the hill back towards the village road that my tramlines had been following before they turned into the field. Joseph follows me and starts telling me a story about how he tried to get some of Sophie's rabbits onto the barbecue because he thought they'd taste great, except Sophie had started crying and his gran Daisy had told him to behave and not kill Sophie's pets. I didn't seem that interested in his story until he told me that just before he arrived he'd caught his gran breaking one of the rabbits necks with her bare hands. He said that he didn't think Sophie had seen it happen, but that Sophie hadn't spoken a word in the last 15 minutes since, and wondered if she knew what their gran had done.

For some reason this made me chuckle. I felt sorry for the rabbits, with granny trying to wring their necks and Joseph trying to barbecue them, but all I could think about was how funny his gran was. I looked back up the hill at her (we were most of the way down now) and she just stared back at me with the iciest eyes ever, proper scary woman. Was one of those things where you turn round and look at someone and they're already looking straight at you and you suddenly think "shit, I bet she's been staring at me with those motherfucking icy eyes this whole time". More than ever I felt the need to just get out of there, so I was surprised and annoyed when just as I was getting close to the open gate at the bottom of the field Joseph decides to bring up that whole thing I said earlier about how the crazy suspended tramline thing I was travelling on was a disused BT power line.

He demanded that instead of me leaving the field, we had to go into the barn thing and ask someone about it. So we did go in. Once inside I realised it wasn't a farm barn, it was actually a marquee, the sort you would find at a country fayre kind of thing. Inside there were some seats, some stalls selling food, an area set aside presumably for a village dance later on, and a small smattering of people. Joseph walked us up to one guy who was sat at a desk looking through some vinyl singles and fiddling with a microphone - presumably setting up the tannoy system. Joseph started to explain "Matt says that that tramline thing goes on for miles and miles and that it is run by BT". I remember thinking "ah man, look I only said that to shut you up so you might not notice I'd had a wee in the snow and got some on my trousers, it's all bullshit" but I just stood there looking sheepish, also wondering what the hell this tannoy guy (you could tell he was the sort who does local radio and thinks somehow that makes him a celebrity) was thinking about me following around this little kid making up weird stories to him. The radio/tannoy guy just laughed at Joseph, changing his gaze to look into my eyes mid-laugh. I started to turn around to get out of there but Joseph grabbed my t-shirt and said "no wait" and got a bit angry with the guy saying something like "look, why don't you just ring up BT, you'll see!".

Which the guy then did, in a very "fine, I'll make you both look like the idiots you are then" way. He picked up a phone that was stuck to the edge of the canvas 'wall' of the marquee and started talking to someone. You could tell whoever on the other end was disproving my story as the radio guy was just smiling going "Yup... yup" etc. I did think to myself "well, yeah I made up the bit about it being a disused BT cable but I mean fucking hell I didn't make up how far I travelled on it". I started to doubt myself, started to think that maybe I'd imagined the whole thing - I mean, a power cable in mid air supported by nothing? that seems pretty stupid the more I was thinking about it - I started to think maybe I was drunk and that I'd imagined the whole thing, there was no cable and I'd just been woken up by Joseph Krol in a field having pissed myself in a drunken stupour. I felt pretty shit and just wanted to get the hell out of there right then.

I turned around to walk away again, and Joseph didn't stop me. I looked back and he was staying standing by the desk, but looking at me all disappointed like I'd liked to him and destroyed his dreams (of a long cable suspended in mid-air you could travel around on). But then just as I was leaving earshot I heard the radio guy, still on the phone, going "Oh really? But that's... oh ok. How interesting" and I turned and walked back to find out what was going on. He put the phone down, and looked surprised but still had a massive cocky smile on his face, the sort of guy who pretends he's so cool that nothing really ever surprises him. He proceeded to inform us that the BT engineer had discovered something whilst being on the phone to him and that yes, the cable probably was something that had been left behind from a planned mid-air cable upgrade they never finished, and that it did indeed travel some way - 8,647 kilometres to be precise (I knew the idiot radio guy actually meant metres not kilometres but couldn't be arsed to try and correct him) and that it started the other side of town next to the lake. Interestingly, the town was called Malaysia. Anyway, I felt much more at ease, quite vindicated. And Joseph looked pretty chuffed to find out I was telling the truth too. The radio guy was still smiling rather than looking defeated and wrong, but hey, you can't have everything. I woke up.
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Jon O'Neill
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Location: London, UK

Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon O'Neill »

Jon Corby wrote:
Matt Morrison wrote:I remember two dreams from last night. The first one had nothing to do with Countdown but was quite funny anyway. I remember I had to keep sharing a bathroom with a really fat ugly family and we all had to shower in front of each other. Then after a shower I was having some sort of celebration party with Heather except fuck all people turned up, and also the main dish was a huge cheesecake-cum-cake(no cum cake jokes please) which then had another cheesecake and a chocolate torte chopped up on top of it as some kind of mental amalgamation of awesome cakeness. I think it was inspired by seeing this article, and I think it shows I need to lose some weight.

Anyway, the other dream was the Countdown-y one. So it started as if I was watching a documentary, I didn't particularly feel connected to it, like I was watching on TV. In slow motion there was a camera panning parallel to a boating lake or something. I could tell the camera was running along a road or next to one as there was the slightest glimpse of tarmac along the bottom and a big chain link fence in front of the lake. There were people swimming, some people sailing, it felt summery and quaint and nice, all slow motion and dreamy. There was probably some MGMT music playing, that kind of thing. I started thinking for some reason about the logistics of the set up for the camera, thinking it must be on a really high-tech rail, and most importantly quite a long rail - I'd been watching for a while and it has just travelled all along the side of this lake for quite some distance. Anyway at one point it goes under a bridge, and so I look down towards the floor where the camera must be travelling along, and I can see the camera rails but then realise "oh, hang on, I can look around, this isn't a documentary I'm watching at all" and I realise it's actually me on some kind of rails set up travelling along looking at stuff.

The bridge is only short but when it comes out the other side the lake is no longer there at the side of the road, there are buildings, I look around and I'm travelling somehow along a road, looks like San Francisco or something, that kind of vibe. By now I'm no longer in slow motion, like everything sped up to normal speed once I realised I was travelling myself and not watching TV. The road soon becomes a motorway and I'm properly racing along at car-esque speed. At this point I start to think about what the hell is going on - how I can be travelling along on these camera rails like this seemingly not being propelled by anything? At which point I leave the ground and start travelling away from the motorway over some hills. I look up and realise that I am now suspended from a rope. I am hanging on to it myself, but I am not using any energy or having any struggle to hold on, nor do I sense any danger or even the possibility of falling as I get higher and higher. I look up and see that the rope is running along some kind of tramline-looking system.

So once I get away from the motorway and high over some hills, I come back down the other side and things have slowed down to a more reasonable pace. My tramlines have again joined up with a road, but a much less fast one, travelling through a fairly concrete-y town. I see two people I recognise. The first is my friend Al (from university, though I haven't seen him in over four years). He's really tall, quite ginger, very white, and a wannabe rapper (this is all a real description of him by the way) but for some reason in this dream he's in a wheelchair and being pushed around by an older man. As I travel overhead, I look back towards him and shout down his name. He hears me, looks around a bit, and then looks up and smiles, though I'm some way past him now. I turn back around forward and look down to the ground again where I see Phil Collinge smoking a cigarette and having an argument with a block of flats. He looked quite angry, like the block of flats was a really good friend and they'd just let him down for no good reason. I didn't catch Phil's attention.

The urban environment fades into more of a village thing, then there's a sharp turn to the left and I find myself at the lower end of a heavily-sloped field. It's basically a hill but you can see all the plough marks in it as I look down so it feels more like a field. The plough marks are only faint though, as interestingly it is now deep winter, quite cold, and the field is covered in a foot of snow. As I enter the field I pass a sort of barn-looking building at the bottom of the field below me, and my tramlines take me up one side of the hill. I'm quite high now, 40-50 feet in the air, and I reach about half way up the hill and from my viewpoint I can see over the peak of the hill into the fields up and beyond it. They are all lush green, it seems the winter is entirely localised to this field I'm in. Anyway, suddenly there's a tug on my tramlines and I'm swung further upwards. I look up and realised I've reached the end of the line. It's not connected to anything, just exists in the air. It's a bit like the end of a zip wire where you swing up when you get there. I swing back down again and expect to start travelling back down the slope but my rope is now stuck at the end and I realise I'm supposed to get off.

I fancy doing it in style though, and figure with all the snow on the ground and the fact I'm quite high off the ground I've got plenty of room for error to do a fucking cool backwards somersault dismount. So I start swinging on the spot a little bit, and as I do so I look around the field and notice there's only one other guy in the field that I can see. He appears to be a youngish boy in a parka jacket with scruffy dark short hair. I feel like he's watching me swinging, wondering what the fuck I am doing up there, so I feel a bit of pressure. Anyway, I become quite conscious of making sure I dismount properly, even to the extent I can remember checking all my wrist bracelets to make sure they wouldn't snag when I let go of the rope. Which I do, and I make the same mistake that I have made several times in my life when trying to do backward somersaults (not often to be fair, but a few times in swimming pools) of thinking I have more time than I do, and under-rotating. So instead of landing on my feet, I get most of the way round but land like a belly flop facing down into the snow.

Immediately I feel annoyed and embarrassed, and have the sudden urge to have a quick wee. I pull my dick out but of course I'm lying front down in the snow (facing up the slope, by the way) and I'm taken aback by how cold the snow is on my dick. I manage to get a few tiny and random squirts out and whilst doing so I realise the kid I saw in the field is now walking towards me to see what the fuck I'm up to, probably check I'm ok considering I just totally failed a back somersault and am now shuffling about in the snow like I'm paralysed or something. I just about manage to tuck my dick away and stand up when he gets over to me and I realise it's Joseph Krol. I can see before he's even said anything his eyes are wandering down to the small yellow stains in the snow, so I try to take control of the conversation quickly and say the first thing in my head which was something like "wow, can you believe I've been travelling on that line for about 8 miles or something?!" This seems to catch his attention so I elaborate, completely making it up, "yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a BT power line they didn't use or something."

It seems I've got Joseph's mind away from the yellow snow but instead of commenting on my whole swinging-from-a-suspended-line coolness, he just starts talking about his gran Daisy, and points to her behind me. I turn round and discover that we're not alone in the field at all, in fact there seems to be some kind of wintery family fun day thing going on. There indeed is Joseph Krol's granny Daisy, sat with Sophie next to her looking down the hill, and there's also a spattering of about 30 other people spread down the hill too. As I said before, we're down one side of the hill, and a few metres in front of where the two Krols are sitting, and set up next to the fence that runs along the side of the field, is a big barbecue. There's a whole pig laid out on the griddle, eyes and everything. (Saw this on Man vs. Food a few days back.) I think it's probably time for me to leave. I remember thinking hanging around with the Krols at a winter family fun day with a pig on a barbecue and fuck all else going on wasn't my idea of fun, so I started walking down the hill back towards the village road that my tramlines had been following before they turned into the field. Joseph follows me and starts telling me a story about how he tried to get some of Sophie's rabbits onto the barbecue because he thought they'd taste great, except Sophie had started crying and his gran Daisy had told him to behave and not kill Sophie's pets. I didn't seem that interested in his story until he told me that just before he arrived he'd caught his gran breaking one of the rabbits necks with her bare hands. He said that he didn't think Sophie had seen it happen, but that Sophie hadn't spoken a word in the last 15 minutes since, and wondered if she knew what their gran had done.

For some reason this made me chuckle. I felt sorry for the rabbits, with granny trying to wring their necks and Joseph trying to barbecue them, but all I could think about was how funny his gran was. I looked back up the hill at her (we were most of the way down now) and she just stared back at me with the iciest eyes ever, proper scary woman. Was one of those things where you turn round and look at someone and they're already looking straight at you and you suddenly think "shit, I bet she's been staring at me with those motherfucking icy eyes this whole time". More than ever I felt the need to just get out of there, so I was surprised and annoyed when just as I was getting close to the open gate at the bottom of the field Joseph decides to bring up that whole thing I said earlier about how the crazy suspended tramline thing I was travelling on was a disused BT power line.

He demanded that instead of me leaving the field, we had to go into the barn thing and ask someone about it. So we did go in. Once inside I realised it wasn't a farm barn, it was actually a marquee, the sort you would find at a country fayre kind of thing. Inside there were some seats, some stalls selling food, an area set aside presumably for a village dance later on, and a small smattering of people. Joseph walked us up to one guy who was sat at a desk looking through some vinyl singles and fiddling with a microphone - presumably setting up the tannoy system. Joseph started to explain "Matt says that that tramline thing goes on for miles and miles and that it is run by BT". I remember thinking "ah man, look I only said that to shut you up so you might not notice I'd had a wee in the snow and got some on my trousers, it's all bullshit" but I just stood there looking sheepish, also wondering what the hell this tannoy guy (you could tell he was the sort who does local radio and thinks somehow that makes him a celebrity) was thinking about me following around this little kid making up weird stories to him. The radio/tannoy guy just laughed at Joseph, changing his gaze to look into my eyes mid-laugh. I started to turn around to get out of there but Joseph grabbed my t-shirt and said "no wait" and got a bit angry with the guy saying something like "look, why don't you just ring up BT, you'll see!".

Which the guy then did, in a very "fine, I'll make you both look like the idiots you are then" way. He picked up a phone that was stuck to the edge of the canvas 'wall' of the marquee and started talking to someone. You could tell whoever on the other end was disproving my story as the radio guy was just smiling going "Yup... yup" etc. I did think to myself "well, yeah I made up the bit about it being a disused BT cable but I mean fucking hell I didn't make up how far I travelled on it". I started to doubt myself, started to think that maybe I'd imagined the whole thing - I mean, a power cable in mid air supported by nothing? that seems pretty stupid the more I was thinking about it - I started to think maybe I was drunk and that I'd imagined the whole thing, there was no cable and I'd just been woken up by Joseph Krol in a field having pissed myself in a drunken stupour. I felt pretty shit and just wanted to get the hell out of there right then.

I turned around to walk away again, and Joseph didn't stop me. I looked back and he was staying standing by the desk, but looking at me all disappointed like I'd liked to him and destroyed his dreams (of a long cable suspended in mid-air you could travel around on). But then just as I was leaving earshot I heard the radio guy, still on the phone, going "Oh really? But that's... oh ok. How interesting" and I turned and walked back to find out what was going on. He put the phone down, and looked surprised but still had a massive cocky smile on his face, the sort of guy who pretends he's so cool that nothing really ever surprises him. He proceeded to inform us that the BT engineer had discovered something whilst being on the phone to him and that yes, the cable probably was something that had been left behind from a planned mid-air cable upgrade they never finished, and that it did indeed travel some way - 8,647 kilometres to be precise (I knew the idiot radio guy actually meant metres not kilometres but couldn't be arsed to try and correct him) and that it started the other side of town next to the lake. Interestingly, the town was called Malaysia. Anyway, I felt much more at ease, quite vindicated. And Joseph looked pretty chuffed to find out I was telling the truth too. The radio guy was still smiling rather than looking defeated and wrong, but hey, you can't have everything. I woke up.
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Jon Corby
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby »

Jon O'Neill wrote:
Jon Corby wrote:
Matt Morrison wrote:I remember two dreams from last night. The first one had nothing to do with Countdown but was quite funny anyway. I remember I had to keep sharing a bathroom with a really fat ugly family and we all had to shower in front of each other. Then after a shower I was having some sort of celebration party with Heather except fuck all people turned up, and also the main dish was a huge cheesecake-cum-cake(no cum cake jokes please) which then had another cheesecake and a chocolate torte chopped up on top of it as some kind of mental amalgamation of awesome cakeness. I think it was inspired by seeing this article, and I think it shows I need to lose some weight.

Anyway, the other dream was the Countdown-y one. So it started as if I was watching a documentary, I didn't particularly feel connected to it, like I was watching on TV. In slow motion there was a camera panning parallel to a boating lake or something. I could tell the camera was running along a road or next to one as there was the slightest glimpse of tarmac along the bottom and a big chain link fence in front of the lake. There were people swimming, some people sailing, it felt summery and quaint and nice, all slow motion and dreamy. There was probably some MGMT music playing, that kind of thing. I started thinking for some reason about the logistics of the set up for the camera, thinking it must be on a really high-tech rail, and most importantly quite a long rail - I'd been watching for a while and it has just travelled all along the side of this lake for quite some distance. Anyway at one point it goes under a bridge, and so I look down towards the floor where the camera must be travelling along, and I can see the camera rails but then realise "oh, hang on, I can look around, this isn't a documentary I'm watching at all" and I realise it's actually me on some kind of rails set up travelling along looking at stuff.

The bridge is only short but when it comes out the other side the lake is no longer there at the side of the road, there are buildings, I look around and I'm travelling somehow along a road, looks like San Francisco or something, that kind of vibe. By now I'm no longer in slow motion, like everything sped up to normal speed once I realised I was travelling myself and not watching TV. The road soon becomes a motorway and I'm properly racing along at car-esque speed. At this point I start to think about what the hell is going on - how I can be travelling along on these camera rails like this seemingly not being propelled by anything? At which point I leave the ground and start travelling away from the motorway over some hills. I look up and realise that I am now suspended from a rope. I am hanging on to it myself, but I am not using any energy or having any struggle to hold on, nor do I sense any danger or even the possibility of falling as I get higher and higher. I look up and see that the rope is running along some kind of tramline-looking system.

So once I get away from the motorway and high over some hills, I come back down the other side and things have slowed down to a more reasonable pace. My tramlines have again joined up with a road, but a much less fast one, travelling through a fairly concrete-y town. I see two people I recognise. The first is my friend Al (from university, though I haven't seen him in over four years). He's really tall, quite ginger, very white, and a wannabe rapper (this is all a real description of him by the way) but for some reason in this dream he's in a wheelchair and being pushed around by an older man. As I travel overhead, I look back towards him and shout down his name. He hears me, looks around a bit, and then looks up and smiles, though I'm some way past him now. I turn back around forward and look down to the ground again where I see Phil Collinge smoking a cigarette and having an argument with a block of flats. He looked quite angry, like the block of flats was a really good friend and they'd just let him down for no good reason. I didn't catch Phil's attention.

The urban environment fades into more of a village thing, then there's a sharp turn to the left and I find myself at the lower end of a heavily-sloped field. It's basically a hill but you can see all the plough marks in it as I look down so it feels more like a field. The plough marks are only faint though, as interestingly it is now deep winter, quite cold, and the field is covered in a foot of snow. As I enter the field I pass a sort of barn-looking building at the bottom of the field below me, and my tramlines take me up one side of the hill. I'm quite high now, 40-50 feet in the air, and I reach about half way up the hill and from my viewpoint I can see over the peak of the hill into the fields up and beyond it. They are all lush green, it seems the winter is entirely localised to this field I'm in. Anyway, suddenly there's a tug on my tramlines and I'm swung further upwards. I look up and realised I've reached the end of the line. It's not connected to anything, just exists in the air. It's a bit like the end of a zip wire where you swing up when you get there. I swing back down again and expect to start travelling back down the slope but my rope is now stuck at the end and I realise I'm supposed to get off.

I fancy doing it in style though, and figure with all the snow on the ground and the fact I'm quite high off the ground I've got plenty of room for error to do a fucking cool backwards somersault dismount. So I start swinging on the spot a little bit, and as I do so I look around the field and notice there's only one other guy in the field that I can see. He appears to be a youngish boy in a parka jacket with scruffy dark short hair. I feel like he's watching me swinging, wondering what the fuck I am doing up there, so I feel a bit of pressure. Anyway, I become quite conscious of making sure I dismount properly, even to the extent I can remember checking all my wrist bracelets to make sure they wouldn't snag when I let go of the rope. Which I do, and I make the same mistake that I have made several times in my life when trying to do backward somersaults (not often to be fair, but a few times in swimming pools) of thinking I have more time than I do, and under-rotating. So instead of landing on my feet, I get most of the way round but land like a belly flop facing down into the snow.

Immediately I feel annoyed and embarrassed, and have the sudden urge to have a quick wee. I pull my dick out but of course I'm lying front down in the snow (facing up the slope, by the way) and I'm taken aback by how cold the snow is on my dick. I manage to get a few tiny and random squirts out and whilst doing so I realise the kid I saw in the field is now walking towards me to see what the fuck I'm up to, probably check I'm ok considering I just totally failed a back somersault and am now shuffling about in the snow like I'm paralysed or something. I just about manage to tuck my dick away and stand up when he gets over to me and I realise it's Joseph Krol. I can see before he's even said anything his eyes are wandering down to the small yellow stains in the snow, so I try to take control of the conversation quickly and say the first thing in my head which was something like "wow, can you believe I've been travelling on that line for about 8 miles or something?!" This seems to catch his attention so I elaborate, completely making it up, "yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a BT power line they didn't use or something."

It seems I've got Joseph's mind away from the yellow snow but instead of commenting on my whole swinging-from-a-suspended-line coolness, he just starts talking about his gran Daisy, and points to her behind me. I turn round and discover that we're not alone in the field at all, in fact there seems to be some kind of wintery family fun day thing going on. There indeed is Joseph Krol's granny Daisy, sat with Sophie next to her looking down the hill, and there's also a spattering of about 30 other people spread down the hill too. As I said before, we're down one side of the hill, and a few metres in front of where the two Krols are sitting, and set up next to the fence that runs along the side of the field, is a big barbecue. There's a whole pig laid out on the griddle, eyes and everything. (Saw this on Man vs. Food a few days back.) I think it's probably time for me to leave. I remember thinking hanging around with the Krols at a winter family fun day with a pig on a barbecue and fuck all else going on wasn't my idea of fun, so I started walking down the hill back towards the village road that my tramlines had been following before they turned into the field. Joseph follows me and starts telling me a story about how he tried to get some of Sophie's rabbits onto the barbecue because he thought they'd taste great, except Sophie had started crying and his gran Daisy had told him to behave and not kill Sophie's pets. I didn't seem that interested in his story until he told me that just before he arrived he'd caught his gran breaking one of the rabbits necks with her bare hands. He said that he didn't think Sophie had seen it happen, but that Sophie hadn't spoken a word in the last 15 minutes since, and wondered if she knew what their gran had done.

For some reason this made me chuckle. I felt sorry for the rabbits, with granny trying to wring their necks and Joseph trying to barbecue them, but all I could think about was how funny his gran was. I looked back up the hill at her (we were most of the way down now) and she just stared back at me with the iciest eyes ever, proper scary woman. Was one of those things where you turn round and look at someone and they're already looking straight at you and you suddenly think "shit, I bet she's been staring at me with those motherfucking icy eyes this whole time". More than ever I felt the need to just get out of there, so I was surprised and annoyed when just as I was getting close to the open gate at the bottom of the field Joseph decides to bring up that whole thing I said earlier about how the crazy suspended tramline thing I was travelling on was a disused BT power line.

He demanded that instead of me leaving the field, we had to go into the barn thing and ask someone about it. So we did go in. Once inside I realised it wasn't a farm barn, it was actually a marquee, the sort you would find at a country fayre kind of thing. Inside there were some seats, some stalls selling food, an area set aside presumably for a village dance later on, and a small smattering of people. Joseph walked us up to one guy who was sat at a desk looking through some vinyl singles and fiddling with a microphone - presumably setting up the tannoy system. Joseph started to explain "Matt says that that tramline thing goes on for miles and miles and that it is run by BT". I remember thinking "ah man, look I only said that to shut you up so you might not notice I'd had a wee in the snow and got some on my trousers, it's all bullshit" but I just stood there looking sheepish, also wondering what the hell this tannoy guy (you could tell he was the sort who does local radio and thinks somehow that makes him a celebrity) was thinking about me following around this little kid making up weird stories to him. The radio/tannoy guy just laughed at Joseph, changing his gaze to look into my eyes mid-laugh. I started to turn around to get out of there but Joseph grabbed my t-shirt and said "no wait" and got a bit angry with the guy saying something like "look, why don't you just ring up BT, you'll see!".

Which the guy then did, in a very "fine, I'll make you both look like the idiots you are then" way. He picked up a phone that was stuck to the edge of the canvas 'wall' of the marquee and started talking to someone. You could tell whoever on the other end was disproving my story as the radio guy was just smiling going "Yup... yup" etc. I did think to myself "well, yeah I made up the bit about it being a disused BT cable but I mean fucking hell I didn't make up how far I travelled on it". I started to doubt myself, started to think that maybe I'd imagined the whole thing - I mean, a power cable in mid air supported by nothing? that seems pretty stupid the more I was thinking about it - I started to think maybe I was drunk and that I'd imagined the whole thing, there was no cable and I'd just been woken up by Joseph Krol in a field having pissed myself in a drunken stupour. I felt pretty shit and just wanted to get the hell out of there right then.

I turned around to walk away again, and Joseph didn't stop me. I looked back and he was staying standing by the desk, but looking at me all disappointed like I'd liked to him and destroyed his dreams (of a long cable suspended in mid-air you could travel around on). But then just as I was leaving earshot I heard the radio guy, still on the phone, going "Oh really? But that's... oh ok. How interesting" and I turned and walked back to find out what was going on. He put the phone down, and looked surprised but still had a massive cocky smile on his face, the sort of guy who pretends he's so cool that nothing really ever surprises him. He proceeded to inform us that the BT engineer had discovered something whilst being on the phone to him and that yes, the cable probably was something that had been left behind from a planned mid-air cable upgrade they never finished, and that it did indeed travel some way - 8,647 kilometres to be precise (I knew the idiot radio guy actually meant metres not kilometres but couldn't be arsed to try and correct him) and that it started the other side of town next to the lake. Interestingly, the town was called Malaysia. Anyway, I felt much more at ease, quite vindicated. And Joseph looked pretty chuffed to find out I was telling the truth too. The radio guy was still smiling rather than looking defeated and wrong, but hey, you can't have everything. I woke up.
lol
?
What?
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison »

Jon Corby wrote:
Jon O'Neill wrote:
Jon Corby wrote:lol
?
What?
Am I doing this right?
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby »

Matt Morrison wrote:Am I doing this right?
Given that your dream contains a scene with Joseph Krol and you hastily getting your cock out as he approaches, the answer to this question is almost certainly always going to be "no".
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ryan Taylor »

Just woke up from a nap and had another Countdown dream.

I was watching Countdown today and Adam Gillard was in the champion's chair even though his series has finished. I dunno how Matt remembers so much detail from his dream because given the fact I've just woke up I remember very little (although at the time it seemed like I knew everything). Basically when Adam picked the numbers he adopted a deep Scottish accent and picked 4 large (this was his impression of Scott Gillies). He carried on doing impersonations of people before every round and everybody afterwards was just like "hey, did you know Adam was an impressionist and could do all these impressions".

Also at one point when Susie did her piece she said like 3 adjectives and the camera went on Adam ater each one and he did opposites to what these adjectives meant. I can't remember any of the words but one of the shots involved Adam doing the classic hands outstretched, thumbs in ears and tongue out wacky face thing. Jeff kept looking across as if Adam was going loopy. It was definitely quite bizarre.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Phil Reynolds »

Wow: one dream - 2,702 words. (I haven't read them all, obviously.)
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison »

I'd hate it if I couldn't remember dreams in awesome detail, it'd be frustrating. I might do a Ryan and start a blog.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Joseph Krol »

Two fatal flaws: my grandma isn't called Daisy, and my sister does not keep rabbits.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby »

Joseph Krol wrote:Two fatal flaws: my grandma isn't called Daisy, and my sister does not keep rabbits.
But other than that, the dream stands up to scrutiny, yeah?
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Joseph Krol »

Jon Corby wrote:
Joseph Krol wrote:Two fatal flaws: my grandma isn't called Daisy, and my sister does not keep rabbits.
But other than that, the dream stands up to scrutiny, yeah?
There are a few others but they don't really need bothering with. Apart from the fact that I did not have it also.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison »

I'm never dreaming about you again Joseph, you unappreciative little shit.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby »

Matt Morrison wrote:I'm never dreaming about you again Joseph, you unappreciative little shit.
He doesn't seem very impressed, does he?

Mind you, it would have been very cold in all that snow.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark James »

So had another dream that Matt Morrison was in my house again. I was trying to look at something on the computer but it wasn't working and we suspected it had been infiltrated by Richard Brittain. Meanwhile Matt was frying up some sausages, rashers and egg to make breakfast rolls. Although I wasn't sure if he was making one for me or not initially. Then he said I could have some of his onion rings but the bag was in the bin but I took them out and started eating them. I could see this was upsetting Matt and he opened the back door as if to get some air but eventually he had to go to the bathroom to get sick(a similar event, not involving Matt, happened to me in real life which I've mentioned only a week or two ago in the apterous chat log). When he comes back from the toilet he says something about a stare he had going on while standing at the back door so we go out to the back garden. My cat is there lying down on a table and I start playing with his tail. Then I notice someone has put a collar on him and that its not actually my cat as he's a different colour now. Matt is now in my neighbours garden and there's a dog there barking and going mad. The neighbours come out wondering what's going on and Matt jumps back in my garden. I didn't want to say anything and get Matt in trouble but then I realise the neighbour who's going mad that he was in her garden is dead in real life. Now I start to cop on that it's only a dream so I don't really care what's happening now. But Matt is looking a bit freaked out cause he's not sure what's going on and loads of friends and relatives start coming in to the house but I have just started dancing to this amazing tribal drum beat that's playing and I'm dancing right up in peoples faces. Matt's getting more freaked out and then I start to think it's not my dream but his. But then a painting of a pirate ship falls on my head. I pretend it hurt me more than it did and pretend to get knocked out and everyone starts laughing. Then I started wondering why we had a painting of a pirate ship but then I realised it was to replace the lego model of a pirate ship I used to have (I still have it in real life). Then I noticed another lego pirate ship on the piano(we don't have the piano any more in real life) and it was a really weird design but pretty cool and I was marvelling at it just before I woke up.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Matt's a vegetarian so I presume they were vegetarian sausages and rashers.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark James »

Had a really quick dream last night where I was playing this video game thing that involved Pac-Man eating the pigs from Angry Birds. It was like a home made game but who ever made it was a fan of aptreous as, after you had eaten enough of the pigs, a spider appeared and it was called an apterous. There was other word related stuff going on that I can't really remember and there was like a message board thing as well and Charlie had been on thanking the person who'd made it. The dream only seemed to last about five minutes. One of the shortest I've ever had.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Adam Gillard »

Ryan Taylor wrote:Just woke up from a nap and had another Countdown dream.

I was watching Countdown today and Adam Gillard was in the champion's chair even though his series has finished. I dunno how Matt remembers so much detail from his dream because given the fact I've just woke up I remember very little (although at the time it seemed like I knew everything). Basically when Adam picked the numbers he adopted a deep Scottish accent and picked 4 large (this was his impression of Scott Gillies). He carried on doing impersonations of people before every round and everybody afterwards was just like "hey, did you know Adam was an impressionist and could do all these impressions".

Also at one point when Susie did her piece she said like 3 adjectives and the camera went on Adam ater each one and he did opposites to what these adjectives meant. I can't remember any of the words but one of the shots involved Adam doing the classic hands outstretched, thumbs in ears and tongue out wacky face thing. Jeff kept looking across as if Adam was going loopy. It was definitely quite bizarre.
This means you think that someone with my looks and Scott's intellect is the perfect Countdown champion. And that I'm a bit wacky. And multitalented. And I'm likely to join in with Tim Vine's antonym game. Obviously.
Mike Brown: "Round 12: T N R S A E I G U

C1: SIGNATURE (18) ["9; not written down"]
C2: SEATING (7)
Score: 108–16 (max 113)

Another niner for Adam and yet another century. Well done, that man."
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Gavin Chipper »

I had a dream last night where I was at a station with Matt Morrison. Presumably it was a London station because it had loads of stuff there. We went into a McDonalds type place at the station and Matt ordered us both some vegetarian burger thing. We commented on how it always takes longer for the vegetarian options - they have the corpse options all ready and cooked in advance it seems. We both had water to drink. Matt asked for his with no ice. I had ice in mine. One of the lumps of ice was shaped like a miniature mug, complete with handle, so I had fun dipping it into the glass (it was a glass I think) and drinking the water out of the ice mug. Matt had taken the massive discs out of his ears, but the springs that hold them in place were still there. (I didn't know they were held in place with springs either but it turns out that they are.) They also had a pick'n'mix thing there and I remember pointing out to Matt that most of the sweets (including the jelly babies) probably had gelatine in so could not be eaten. I think quite a lot of other stuff happened as well but unfortunately I don't remember it all.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison »

Haha excellent. Apart from the novelty ice cubes and novelty ear adornments that's pretty much what happened at Colin :)
Overall a remarkably realistic dream.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby »

Matt Morrison wrote:Haha excellent. Apart from the novelty ice cubes and novelty ear adornments that's pretty much what happened at Colin :)
Overall a remarkably realistic dream.
You veggies sure know how to have fun.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Morrison »

Jon Corby wrote:
Matt Morrison wrote:Haha excellent. Apart from the novelty ice cubes and novelty ear adornments that's pretty much what happened at Colin :)
Overall a remarkably realistic dream.
You veggies sure know how to have fun.
You meaties sure know how to have bum.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ian Volante »

I dreamt last night and it involved neither apterous nor Matt Morrison. I feel somewhat defective.
meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson »

Weird one last night. The dream began with me attending a graduation of some sort, but an extremely low-budget, crappy and poorly-organised one. There were about 20 students there, their families, and for some reason we were sat in a marquee in front of the guildhall in Lincoln. If you don't know Lincoln, this is the most breathtakingly inconvenient place to ever organise anything- a bit like sticking an actual circus in the middle of Piccadilly Circus.

Anyway, the students were awarded their degrees one by one, but were split up into three groups so some people- myself included- had to wait. I went off for a quick stroll (as you do in dreams), and when I sat back down I saw Matts Morrison and Bayfield in the seats ahead of me. MWM had bought me a gift- in a jiffy bag for reasons unknown- and I was in the middle of opening it when a band started up, with an extremely scruffy-looking Andrew Hulme playing the violin like a virtuoso. Jiffy bags are noisy when opened so I left it until the music ended, but I then woke up and never found out what the gift was (it was about 12 by 8 by 6 inches, vaguely cuboidal and very light, for what it's worth).
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Thomas Carey »

A few days ago (the night just after Mark became an octo), there were two new contestants on the show. It was me vs a guy who looked like Richard Everley but his nameplate thing said he was called James Tape. After round 12 (I can't remember what the scores were) the glass around James' score panel fell off, shattered and a shard of glass hit the exposed score thing and zeroed it. Because noone could remember his score (and for some reason they didn't just cut that scene out and look back at the footage), they decided it would only be fair to zero my score aswell and play the last three rounds. Then I pointed out that it could change the outcome of the game, and then James started running off the set crying for that reason. I had nothing better to do so I followed him.

He ran all the way to Glousceter, and then to my local sailing club in Bingley. He ran along the pontoon and jumped in a green inflatable dinghy thing with someone else in it. That someone was Jack Hurst (well it looked like him). Then some random guys in another green inflatable dinghy thing started splashing water at them and Jack pointed at one of the guys. Some random old guy told Jack and James never to come there again, and then Jack started pleading with him and said he would never play countdown again if he let him stay (What the hell :?: ), which he did. Then he saw James didn't have a buoyancy aid on so he started beating him up. Jack gave me a fiver and asked me to get 7 oranges because he said this was part of a plan to stop the old guy killing James (there were swords involved by now), so I got an inflatable dinghy thing (an orange one this time), and sailed to Greece to get the oranges. The Greek guy said he didn't recognise that currency, but there was a bureau de change in Bulgaria.

So I went there, handed in my fiver and the bureau de change person gave me 7 cats for it. I went back to Greece and the guy sold me the oranges for 3/4 of a cat each. So I sailed home with the 9 oranges I bought and a quarter of a cat, and because I was hungry I ate 2 oranges. I also used the bit of a cat as a sock. I gave the other oranges to Jack and he held the oranges in one hand (don't ask me how) and an iron mallet in the other, and ran up to the old guy...

...But then Joseph Krol rang me at ten past 7 asking if he had left his coat in my car (which it turns out was in his room), so I woke up.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark James »

Nice one Thomas. I love how you travelled all over the place. Dreams are brilliant. I had a dream last night I was playing apterous and I could see from Michelle Nevitt's picture that it had been taken in my house. The piano and lego pirate ship I mentioned in another dream were in the background of her picture. I wanted to ask her why she'd been in my house but then I couldn't find her in the players on-line box. Instead Saoirse Ronan was there although I'm not too sure what she looks like so her picture looked more like one of the girls who was on pointless yesterday. And as I've written this I seem to have forgotten the whole rest of the dream. I had more than one but the other one wasn't apterous related.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ryan Taylor »

That's some crazy shit Thomas. It started off normal and then just got weirder and weirder peaking at the point where you apparently had to sever a cat to pay for some oranges. Amazing.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson »

Thomas Carey wrote:I also used the bit of a cat as a sock.
This bit officially makes this post the best one in c4c history.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Matt Bayfield »

Ben Wilson wrote:when I sat back down I saw Matts Morrison and Bayfield in the seats ahead of me.
Hmm, two bald, white, heads. You've either been websurfing for the mid-00s Everton midfield, or for Jordan's tits.

(With apologies to Thomas Gravesen & Lee Carsley.)

First time I've looked at this thread btw, and I notice I appear twice! I genuinely feel flattered.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Jon Corby »

This has nothing to do with this forum, Countdown or apterous, but I thought I'd stick it in here, just as it was a bit of an odd subject to dream of, so I figured it must be a premonition, and I might be a genuine precog and Tom Cruise might get a job looking at my balls.

Anyway, me and the missus were watching TV in the lounge, and we flicked over to catch the end of the National Lottery show, where a singer had just finished performing. As the programme ended, a huge bit of rigging (lights or whatever) from above the stage came loose, and swung down into her. The broadcast ended at that point, but we checked later on the news, and she had been killed - and it was Sophie Ellis Bextor (who I hadn't recognised it as at the time of the incident).

So Sophie - if you're booked to appear on some live show soon, PLEASE wear a hard hat or a suit of armour or something.

BTW, I hadn't been conscious of Sophie for many months, so I'm not sure why I should suddenly dream of her like this. Also it wasn't just an elaborate set up for a "murder on the dancefloor" joke, as it was all treated very seriously, and I only thought of that sometime after waking up.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Mark James »

I had a dream I was reading c4c and someone had posted a link on youtube to a video of some American tourists filming their arrival in Ireland. They happen to catch Jon Corby standing at a balcony, eating a cake when the cake falls off the plate on to a child's head. Then there's a replay of the incident but from another angle so it becomes clear that it was all set up and that Corby was in cahoots with the Americans. Then there were more videos after that, all of real events which Jon had superimposed himself into. Can't remember most of them but the one I remember was of Chelsea scoring a goal when Crespo was playing for them but Jon had inserted himself in the video so it looked like he got the last touch on the ball, and then went off celebrating while doing a chicken dance.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ben Wilson »

Damn this thread.

Weird one last night- set at COLIN (yet again), starting during the lunch break, which for some reason was being held in a bog-standard cafeteria. Rather than the awesome home-made lunches available at COLIN, this place was serving up the usual cafeteria crap, but when I went to get some for my (non-Countdowning) friend there was none left, only a slice of lemon cheesecake (which erm, isn't available at COLIN). The chef got really pissy though when I asked him for a clean cake fork, of which there were none.

After arriving back at COLIN- for some reason passing Stewart Holden along the way, who happened to randomly be in town but not for COLIN- I collected the remaining round 1 scores, which was from a table involving Kirk Bevins, Matt Morrison and someone else I can't remember. The scores were mightily impressive- Kirk had beaten Matt 98-96 (which I had to confirm twice as it was a 9-round game) and Kirk and Matt had both scored over 90 against the other person. Then I woke up.

Disclaimer: This dream did actually happen and isn't just a blatant advert for my awesome upcoming tournament. This, however, is- click here for excitement.
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Steve Balog »

Don't remember much else, but I had a dream where I distinctly remember trying to solve the game 9 5 3 10 6 8 -> 932 for a reason. Didn't get it in the dream, looked at it for about 2 minutes and still didn't. Throw it into a solver, it apparently has a "darrenic" solution that is not at all easy to find. What the hell, subconscious, spit out easier numbers targets; also stop picking 6 small - you know better than anyone how terrible I am at it :)
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Julie T »

Wasn't sure whether to post this here or on "You know you're playing too much apterous when...", so I've put it in both!

I had a dream last night where I was playing apterous, and started a new star chart path. I'd forgotten to click on 'details' first, and found that I had no idea how to play the variant, and there was nothing in the rules section or elsewhere to guide me.
The variant was really strange (no details in the dream), but I tried to wing it, thinking I'd pick it up, and managed to fumble my way through a couple of stars.
Then, at the end of each I game, I started getting instructions about when I had to complete the next star, in a "must keep the bus going over 50mph" type way, with an undisclosed danger if I failed.

Quite scary! :o Then I woke up. :D
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." Benjamin Disraeli
Ryan Taylor
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Ryan Taylor »

And Charlie came on late last night/early this morning to write the rules for a variant. So I think it's pretty fair to say that you and him are very similar and are telepathically linked.
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Julie T
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Julie T »

Ryan Taylor wrote:I think it's pretty fair to say that you and him [Charlie] are very similar and are telepathically linked.
Now, that really would be a nightmare! :shock: :lol:
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." Benjamin Disraeli
Gavin Chipper
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Julie T wrote:
Ryan Taylor wrote:I think it's pretty fair to say that you and him [Charlie] are very similar and are telepathically linked.
Now, that really would be a nightmare! :shock: :lol:
Which one of you is Harry Potter and which is Voldemort?
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Joseph Krol
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Re: C4C/apto/Countdown Dreams

Post by Joseph Krol »

Not strictly c4c relatd but I just had a dream where Regis Philbin and Alex Trebek were on Celebrity WWTBAM. There were a lot of questions about people valled Don anf another regarding a merger of two banks.
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