Trade Secrets

Discuss anything interesting but not remotely Countdown-related here.

Moderator: Jon O'Neill

User avatar
Jon O'Neill
Ginger Ninja
Posts: 4175
Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:45 am
Location: London, UK

Trade Secrets

Post by Jon O'Neill » Wed May 12, 2010 9:04 am

Image

Share your useful tips for anything here. They don't have to be trade-related.

I'll start: don't use cotton buds for cleaning your ears. They are useless. Use Bic pen lids. They're sturdy so you can scrape all the wax off the ear walls, or whatever you call it, they won't fall off, they go in the perfect depth (for me) before it starts getting uncomfortable, and they're cheap as hell.

Image

Over to you.

Ryan Taylor
Postmaster General
Posts: 3661
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:18 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ryan Taylor » Wed May 12, 2010 9:32 am

You can also wash them afterwards and reuse unlike cotton buds.

User avatar
Charlie Reams
Site Admin
Posts: 9389
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:33 pm
Location: Cambridge
Contact:

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Charlie Reams » Wed May 12, 2010 10:44 am

Most people open bananas from the end that looks like a tab. This squashes the top of the banana, leaves you with a small bit of banana stuck in the other end, and often doesn't split the skin neatly. It's much easier to open the other end. This is what monkeys usually do, and they wrote the book on banana eating (presumably using an infinite number of typewriters).

User avatar
Matt Morrison
Post-apocalypse
Posts: 7451
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:27 pm
Location: London
Contact:

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Matt Morrison » Wed May 12, 2010 10:58 am

Charlie Reams wrote:Most people open bananas from the end that looks like a tab. This squashes the top of the banana, leaves you with a small bit of banana stuck in the other end, and often doesn't split the skin neatly. It's much easier to open the other end. This is what monkeys usually do, and they wrote the book on banana eating (presumably using an infinite number of typewriters).
You just give it a little squeeze.
It is quite satisfying, and when someone first showed me I was very impressed and promised to always open my bananas this way forever.
But then you get the little crappy bit of banana end at the top rather than the bottom. I used this method about three times (entirely just to impress other people) and then went back to the normal method.

User avatar
Karen Pearson
Devotee
Posts: 742
Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:28 am
Location: Bromsgrove

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Karen Pearson » Wed May 12, 2010 11:39 am

Charlie Reams wrote:Most people open bananas from the end that looks like a tab. This squashes the top of the banana, leaves you with a small bit of banana stuck in the other end, and often doesn't split the skin neatly. It's much easier to open the other end. This is what monkeys usually do, and they wrote the book on banana eating (presumably using an infinite number of typewriters).
If you have a sharp thumb nail you can make a small incision in the 'tab' end and then it breaks open very neatly without squashing any of the banana.

Dinos Sfyris
Fanatic
Posts: 2704
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:07 am
Location: Sheffield

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Dinos Sfyris » Wed May 12, 2010 11:44 am

PRORATES and INTONERS can take any vowel

User avatar
Jon Corby
Moral Hero
Posts: 7921
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 8:36 am

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Jon Corby » Wed May 12, 2010 11:48 am

Matt Morrison wrote:
Charlie Reams wrote:Most people open bananas from the end that looks like a tab. This squashes the top of the banana, leaves you with a small bit of banana stuck in the other end, and often doesn't split the skin neatly. It's much easier to open the other end. This is what monkeys usually do, and they wrote the book on banana eating (presumably using an infinite number of typewriters).
You just give it a little squeeze.
It is quite satisfying, and when someone first showed me I was very impressed and promised to always open my bananas this way forever.
But then you get the little crappy bit of banana end at the top rather than the bottom. I used this method about three times (entirely just to impress other people) and then went back to the normal method.
Exactly what Matt says here.

Also, Dr Phil says you shouldn't put anything smaller than your elbow into your ear.

User avatar
Michael Wallace
Racoonteur
Posts: 5458
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:01 am
Location: London

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Michael Wallace » Wed May 12, 2010 12:26 pm

Jon Corby wrote:Also, Dr Phil says you shouldn't put anything smaller than your elbow into your ear.
So my penis is ok?

User avatar
Matt Morrison
Post-apocalypse
Posts: 7451
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:27 pm
Location: London
Contact:

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Matt Morrison » Wed May 12, 2010 12:38 pm

Michael Wallace wrote:
Jon Corby wrote:Also, Dr Phil says you shouldn't put anything smaller than your elbow into your ear.
So my penis is ok?
You can fit your elbow in your penis?

User avatar
Michael Wallace
Racoonteur
Posts: 5458
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:01 am
Location: London

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Michael Wallace » Wed May 12, 2010 12:42 pm

Matt Morrison wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:
Jon Corby wrote:Also, Dr Phil says you shouldn't put anything smaller than your elbow into your ear.
So my penis is ok?
You can fit your elbow in your penis?
Let's put it this way: don't get me too drunk at Co:Lon.

User avatar
Andy Wilson
Kiloposter
Posts: 1165
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:09 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Andy Wilson » Wed May 12, 2010 12:47 pm

You can fit your elbow in your Co:Lon?

User avatar
Michael Wallace
Racoonteur
Posts: 5458
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:01 am
Location: London

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Michael Wallace » Wed May 12, 2010 12:49 pm

Andy Wilson wrote:You can fit your elbow in your Co:Lon?
That's disgusting.

User avatar
Ben Hunter
Kiloposter
Posts: 1770
Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:54 pm
Location: S Yorks

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ben Hunter » Wed May 12, 2010 4:39 pm

There are little bolts underneath pedestrian crossing boxes that spin around when the green man appears. Put your hand underneath one and marvel at one of life's biggest easter eggs.

RE: bananas. People are always impressed when I show them that banana secret.

Jeff Clayton
Enthusiast
Posts: 319
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:47 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Jeff Clayton » Wed May 12, 2010 9:00 pm

The French expression for window shopping is "faire de la lèche-vitrine", which translates literally into English as window licking.

David Williams
Devotee
Posts: 979
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:57 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by David Williams » Wed May 12, 2010 10:36 pm

If you come up to temporary traffic lights on red, flash your lights and they will change. My son works for a company that hires them out, and he says this is a complete fallacy. But he would, wouldn't he? It always works for me. Eventually.

User avatar
Lesley Hines
Kiloposter
Posts: 1250
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:29 pm
Location: Worcester

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Lesley Hines » Wed May 12, 2010 10:58 pm

Ben Hunter wrote:There are little bolts underneath pedestrian crossing boxes that spin around when the green man appears. Put your hand underneath one and marvel at one of life's biggest easter eggs.
I love this, but it only works (round here anyway) where there are multiple sets of lights. It's so blind people can differentiate between lots of sets.

To get perfect crispy bacon every time, put your grill on high, but put your grill pan as low as it can go, not on the little rails designed for it. Your meat will be juicy and the fat will be crisp. 8-)
Lowering the averages since 2009

User avatar
Ian Volante
Postmaster General
Posts: 3351
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:15 pm
Location: Edinburgh
Contact:

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ian Volante » Wed May 12, 2010 11:09 pm

Oh gods, this isn't going to turn into the equivalent of one of those columns in Take a Break or equivalent? I may have to kill you all if that's the case.
meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles

User avatar
Jon Corby
Moral Hero
Posts: 7921
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 8:36 am

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Jon Corby » Thu May 13, 2010 7:32 am

If you get locked out of your flat, try not to get locked out of your flat.

User avatar
Lesley Hines
Kiloposter
Posts: 1250
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:29 pm
Location: Worcester

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Lesley Hines » Thu May 13, 2010 11:58 am

Ian Volante wrote:Oh gods, this isn't going to turn into the equivalent of one of those columns in Take a Break or equivalent? I may have to kill you all if that's the case.
To avoid miserable stories about people dying and utterly banal stories about people's grandchildren, don't read Take a Break.
Lowering the averages since 2009

User avatar
Karen Pearson
Devotee
Posts: 742
Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:28 am
Location: Bromsgrove

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Karen Pearson » Thu May 13, 2010 12:14 pm

Lesley Hines wrote:
Ian Volante wrote:Oh gods, this isn't going to turn into the equivalent of one of those columns in Take a Break or equivalent? I may have to kill you all if that's the case.
To avoid miserable stories about people dying and utterly banal stories about people's grandchildren, don't read Take a Break.
When you got to the hairdresser's, take your own book with you so that you aren't forced to read Take A Break.

User avatar
Ian Volante
Postmaster General
Posts: 3351
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:15 pm
Location: Edinburgh
Contact:

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ian Volante » Thu May 13, 2010 12:15 pm

Lesley Hines wrote:
Ian Volante wrote:Oh gods, this isn't going to turn into the equivalent of one of those columns in Take a Break or equivalent? I may have to kill you all if that's the case.
To avoid miserable stories about people dying and utterly banal stories about people's grandchildren, don't read Take a Break.
It's tips of the ilk of "empty old teabags and fill them with pot pourri to make handy and cheap thingies to sit around the place" that amuse/infuriate me. Mind you, this sort of thing inspired Viz, so it's not all bad:

"SAVE ELECTRICITY by shortening the cables to all your household electric appliances."

Then again, http://www.takeaweirdbreak.com/
meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles

David Williams
Devotee
Posts: 979
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:57 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by David Williams » Thu May 13, 2010 12:48 pm

Ian Volante wrote:Mind you, this sort of thing inspired Viz, so it's not all bad:

"SAVE ELECTRICITY by shortening the cables to all your household electric appliances."[/url]
I once saw, in the middle of a list of genuine tips, the suggestion that you could save the trouble of blown fuses by replacing them with chicken wire. The reader claimed that this survived even the time that his washing machine went on fire.

User avatar
James Doohan
Enthusiast
Posts: 323
Joined: Mon May 04, 2009 4:20 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by James Doohan » Thu May 13, 2010 2:07 pm

David Williams wrote:
Ian Volante wrote:Mind you, this sort of thing inspired Viz, so it's not all bad:

"SAVE ELECTRICITY by shortening the cables to all your household electric appliances."[/url]
I once saw, in the middle of a list of genuine tips, the suggestion that you could save the trouble of blown fuses by replacing them with chicken wire. The reader claimed that this survived even the time that his washing machine went on fire.
Thats fucking hilarious

Gavin Chipper
Post-apocalypse
Posts: 8710
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Gavin Chipper » Thu May 13, 2010 4:47 pm

Jon O'Neill wrote:I'll start: don't use cotton buds for cleaning your ears. They are useless. Use Bic pen lids. They're sturdy so you can scrape all the wax off the ear walls, or whatever you call it, they won't fall off, they go in the perfect depth (for me) before it starts getting uncomfortable, and they're cheap as hell.

Image

Over to you.
You're not the only one who uses them. :oops:

Gavin Chipper
Post-apocalypse
Posts: 8710
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Gavin Chipper » Thu May 13, 2010 4:52 pm

Matt Morrison wrote:It is quite satisfying, and when someone first showed me I was very impressed and promised to always open my bananas this way forever.
But then you get the little crappy bit of banana end at the top rather than the bottom. I used this method about three times (entirely just to impress other people) and then went back to the normal method.
Yes, let's be absolutely clear about this. The bit at the normal bottom end of the banana is shit, and I wouldn't want that to be the starting point. Bananas are generally really easy to open the normal way. Only very rarely are they a problem so it's not worth having the shit bit at the top for this marginal gain in other areas.

User avatar
Jon O'Neill
Ginger Ninja
Posts: 4175
Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:45 am
Location: London, UK

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Jon O'Neill » Thu May 13, 2010 5:31 pm

Paul Howe opens his bananas at the side. Fact.

User avatar
Charlie Reams
Site Admin
Posts: 9389
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:33 pm
Location: Cambridge
Contact:

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Charlie Reams » Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:29 am

Jon O'Neill wrote:don't use cotton buds for cleaning your ears. They are useless. Use Bic pen lids.
Prior art.

User avatar
Marc Meakin
Postmaster General
Posts: 3398
Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 3:37 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Marc Meakin » Wed Jun 30, 2010 12:03 pm

Charlie Reams wrote:
Jon O'Neill wrote:don't use cotton buds for cleaning your ears. They are useless. Use Bic pen lids.
Prior art.
That reminded me of the time I was being harrased by a Financial Consultant trying a hard sell.
I asked for his business card, and used it to pick my teeth before giving it back to him.
GR MSL GNDT MSS NGVWL SRND NNLYC NNCT

User avatar
Andy Wilson
Kiloposter
Posts: 1165
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:09 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Andy Wilson » Wed Jun 30, 2010 1:42 pm

Marc... did that actually happen? I want to hug you right now.

The bic biro thing was discussed on QI a year or three back, with an 'ear scoop' being shown, and Phil Jupitus butting in and saying, don't bother buying one of them and referring to how it was just like a bic lid. Anyway, before I saw that episode I must confess I have been a bic lid ear scooper and still am. One of these days though one of us is gonna damage our ears in a freak de waxing accident!

Moving on, the red plastic things on the lids of Grolsch bottles make good guitar strap locks. Squeez the hole in the middle over the nut after your strap is in place to avoid it falling off if you suddenly decide you're Jimi Hendrix. While we're on about guitars, if you don't have a wire cutters/winders and don't want the end of your strings dangling annoyingly off the headstock after you've replaced them, grab a pound coin and using your thumb and your index finger, press the coin against the string, close to the machine head, and drag it in one swift smooth movement over the excess string. It should coil back into itself perfectly once you get the knack.

User avatar
Marc Meakin
Postmaster General
Posts: 3398
Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 3:37 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Marc Meakin » Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:02 pm

Andy Wilson wrote:Marc... did that actually happen? I want to hug you right now.

The bic biro thing was discussed on QI a year or three back, with an 'ear scoop' being shown, and Phil Jupitus butting in and saying, don't bother buying one of them and referring to how it was just like a bic lid. Anyway, before I saw that episode I must confess I have been a bic lid ear scooper and still am. One of these days though one of us is gonna damage our ears in a freak de waxing accident!

Moving on, the red plastic things on the lids of Grolsch bottles make good guitar strap locks. Squeez the hole in the middle over the nut after your strap is in place to avoid it falling off if you suddenly decide you're Jimi Hendrix. While we're on about guitars, if you don't have a wire cutters/winders and don't want the end of your strings dangling annoyingly off the headstock after you've replaced them, grab a pound coin and using your thumb and your index finger, press the coin against the string, close to the machine head, and drag it in one swift smooth movement over the excess string. It should coil back into itself perfectly once you get the knack.
Yes it did, although he was also my flatmate at the time. (not for long, afterwards though)
GR MSL GNDT MSS NGVWL SRND NNLYC NNCT

Ralph Gillions
Devotee
Posts: 557
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:53 pm
Location: South Yorkshire

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ralph Gillions » Wed Jun 30, 2010 3:11 pm

sorry. Error :? :oops:
Last edited by Ralph Gillions on Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
Matthew Green
Devotee
Posts: 716
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 12:28 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Matthew Green » Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:30 pm

If someone insults you, however viciously, on a gameshow forum, it helps if you don't take it too personally. You fucking cunts.
If I suddenly have a squirming baby on my lap it probably means that I should start paying it some attention and stop wasting my time messing around on a Countdown forum

User avatar
Marc Meakin
Postmaster General
Posts: 3398
Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 3:37 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Marc Meakin » Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:15 pm

Ralph Gillions wrote:sorry. Error :? :oops:
I'm intrigued as to what you said originally.
GR MSL GNDT MSS NGVWL SRND NNLYC NNCT

Ralph Gillions
Devotee
Posts: 557
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:53 pm
Location: South Yorkshire

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ralph Gillions » Wed Jun 30, 2010 8:18 pm

Marc Meakin wrote:
Ralph Gillions wrote:sorry. Error :? :oops:
I'm intrigued as to what you said originally.
Nothing world-shattering Marc. :)
I actually duplicated a link to the YouTube clip about bananas.
By the time I realised what I'd done there was a new post after it so I couldn't delete it - so I changed it.
Sorry to disappoint.
(I'll try to offer something more intriguing in future.)

User avatar
Heather Badcock
Newbie
Posts: 28
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 1:54 pm
Location: London

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Heather Badcock » Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:56 pm

Someone in my office has just pointed out that the bananas in Mario Kart reflect the correct opening system:


Image

User avatar
Ben Wilson
Legend
Posts: 3894
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:05 pm
Location: North Hykeham

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ben Wilson » Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:21 pm

Heather Badcock wrote:Someone in my office has just pointed out that the bananas in Mario Kart reflect the correct opening system:


Image
Someone really should make a 'c4countdowncart'. Paul Howe can throw bananas opened from the side, Kirkie can throw darts, Corby can throw insults and Jono can throw squirming penises from his lap.

David Roe
Enthusiast
Posts: 387
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:58 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by David Roe » Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:03 am

Ben Wilson wrote:Someone really should make a 'c4countdowncart'. Paul Howe can throw bananas opened from the side, Kirkie can throw darts, Corby can throw insults and Jono can throw squirming penises from his lap.
And at that last thought, I think I may throw up. :roll:

User avatar
Joseph Krol
Kiloposter
Posts: 1063
Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:47 pm
Location: North-West of Bradford

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Joseph Krol » Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:18 pm

If you cover a banana in paraffin, throw it at a car's fuel tank, and make sure it was accurate, you can make a banana bomb. I have killed seven badgers using this method. Lots of badgers on mopeds go around in my village.
Image

User avatar
Debbi Flack
Acolyte
Posts: 210
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:05 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Debbi Flack » Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:47 pm

Karen Pearson wrote:If you have a sharp thumb nail you can make a small incision in the 'tab' end and then it breaks open very neatly without squashing any of the banana.
Makes perfect sense to me :)

cigarette ash is great for getting hair dye off areas of skin it wasn't intended for
She came, she saw - oh well, at least she tried!

User avatar
John Bosley
Enthusiast
Posts: 380
Joined: Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:52 pm
Location: Huddersfield

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by John Bosley » Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:49 am

Going through temporary traffic lights when they are on red and sticking anything at all in your ears are both equally dangerous, but neither are illegal.

Gavin Chipper
Post-apocalypse
Posts: 8710
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Gavin Chipper » Sun Nov 21, 2010 11:36 pm

John Bosley wrote:Going through temporary traffic lights when they are on red and sticking anything at all in your ears are both equally dangerous, but neither are illegal.
Didn't quite catch that - can you say that again?

User avatar
John Bosley
Enthusiast
Posts: 380
Joined: Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:52 pm
Location: Huddersfield

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by John Bosley » Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:50 am

Gavin Chipper wrote:
John Bosley wrote:Going through temporary traffic lights when they are on red and sticking anything at all in your ears are both equally dangerous, but neither are illegal.
Didn't quite catch that - can you say that again?

Going through temporary traffic lights when they are on red and sticking anything at all in your ears are both equally dangerous, but neither are illegal.

User avatar
Lesley Hines
Kiloposter
Posts: 1250
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:29 pm
Location: Worcester

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Lesley Hines » Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:38 am

John Bosley wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:
John Bosley wrote:Going through temporary traffic lights when they are on red and sticking anything at all in your ears are both equally dangerous, but neither are illegal.
Didn't quite catch that - can you say that again?

Going through temporary traffic lights when they are on red and sticking anything at all in your ears are both equally dangerous, but neither are illegal.
Sticking anything in your ears isn't illegal, but going through red temporary traffic lights is. (Law changed in 1994.) If you get nicked for it, you do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. "I read it on the Countdown forum" is not an acceptable defence.
Lowering the averages since 2009

Ryan Taylor
Postmaster General
Posts: 3661
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:18 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ryan Taylor » Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:41 am

To pass the time I like to play a little game involving a woodlouse. So find yourself a woodlouse, a healthy-sized one, and tip it onto it's back then time how long it takes for it to get back onto it's front. Then try and beat that time by adjusting how you position it on it's back. The aim of the game is to get the longest time.

User avatar
Rosemary Roberts
Devotee
Posts: 548
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:36 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Rosemary Roberts » Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:57 am

Ryan Taylor wrote:To pass the time I like to play a little game involving a woodlouse. So find yourself a woodlouse, a healthy-sized one, and tip it onto it's back then time how long it takes for it to get back onto it's front. Then try and beat that time by adjusting how you position it on it's back. The aim of the game is to get the longest time.
To misquote Mrs Beeton, "first catch your woodlouse". Do you live in a damp basement?

On a smaller scale, our cat used to like playing with silverfish - just batting them gently around and waiting until they got back on track before batting them again. The game worked well with ants, but silverfish just refused to play.

Ryan Taylor
Postmaster General
Posts: 3661
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:18 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ryan Taylor » Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:12 am

Rosemary Roberts wrote:
Ryan Taylor wrote:To pass the time I like to play a little game involving a woodlouse. So find yourself a woodlouse, a healthy-sized one, and tip it onto it's back then time how long it takes for it to get back onto it's front. Then try and beat that time by adjusting how you position it on it's back. The aim of the game is to get the longest time.
To misquote Mrs Beeton, "first catch your woodlouse". Do you live in a damp basement?
Student house. Woodlice are some of the tamer things found on the floor and the game wouldn't really work with slugs.

User avatar
Rosemary Roberts
Devotee
Posts: 548
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:36 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Rosemary Roberts » Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:15 pm

Ryan Taylor wrote: Student house. Woodlice are some of the tamer things found on the floor and the game wouldn't really work with slugs.
It might be interesting to see how good fleas and bedbugs are at turning over. The problem would be putting them upside down without letting them escape. Sooner you than me on that one.

User avatar
Charlie Reams
Site Admin
Posts: 9389
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:33 pm
Location: Cambridge
Contact:

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Charlie Reams » Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:27 pm

Ryan Taylor wrote:To pass the time I like to play a little game involving a woodlouse. So find yourself a woodlouse, a healthy-sized one, and tip it onto it's back then time how long it takes for it to get back onto it's front. Then try and beat that time by adjusting how you position it on it's back. The aim of the game is to get the longest time.
This is amazing, it needs its own thread. Seriously.

User avatar
Rosemary Roberts
Devotee
Posts: 548
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:36 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Rosemary Roberts » Mon Nov 22, 2010 2:25 pm

Charlie Reams wrote:
Ryan Taylor wrote:To pass the time I like to play a little game involving a woodlouse. So find yourself a woodlouse, a healthy-sized one, and tip it onto it's back then time how long it takes for it to get back onto it's front. Then try and beat that time by adjusting how you position it on it's back. The aim of the game is to get the longest time.
This is amazing, it needs its own thread. Seriously.
Perhaps a whole forum: leagues, variants,...

Gavin Chipper
Post-apocalypse
Posts: 8710
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Gavin Chipper » Mon Nov 22, 2010 2:34 pm

Rosemary Roberts wrote:
Charlie Reams wrote:
Ryan Taylor wrote:To pass the time I like to play a little game involving a woodlouse. So find yourself a woodlouse, a healthy-sized one, and tip it onto it's back then time how long it takes for it to get back onto it's front. Then try and beat that time by adjusting how you position it on it's back. The aim of the game is to get the longest time.
This is amazing, it needs its own thread. Seriously.
Perhaps a whole forum: leagues, variants,...
Not forgetting a Sanctum for the best people.

Ryan Taylor
Postmaster General
Posts: 3661
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:18 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ryan Taylor » Mon Nov 22, 2010 2:37 pm

Gavin Chipper wrote:Not forgetting a Sanctum for the best people.
Mmmm...well it's different, but...it's not a hen.

User avatar
John Bosley
Enthusiast
Posts: 380
Joined: Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:52 pm
Location: Huddersfield

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by John Bosley » Mon Nov 22, 2010 4:35 pm

Thanks for this Lesley:-

Sticking anything in your ears isn't illegal, but going through red temporary traffic lights is. (Law changed in 1994.) If you get nicked for it, you do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. "I read it on the Countdown forum" is not an acceptable defence.

I must stop doing it right now.

User avatar
Lesley Hines
Kiloposter
Posts: 1250
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:29 pm
Location: Worcester

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Lesley Hines » Mon Nov 22, 2010 4:45 pm

John Bosley wrote:Thanks for this Lesley:-

Sticking anything in your ears isn't illegal, but going through red temporary traffic lights is. (Law changed in 1994.) If you get nicked for it, you do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. "I read it on the Countdown forum" is not an acceptable defence.

I must stop doing it right now.
Lordy! Please don't be typing on the forum and driving at the same time: that's worse than going through red lights when there's nothing there! :lol:
Lowering the averages since 2009

User avatar
Lesley Hines
Kiloposter
Posts: 1250
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:29 pm
Location: Worcester

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Lesley Hines » Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:58 am

Ok - this is an Ewwwwwwwwwwww one, but it's quite interesting. (At least if you live in more rural parts of the country, otherwise it's just ew.)

Incest is only incest if it can produce offspring. Therefore it's illegal for Grandad to be banging (adult and consenting) granddaughter, but perfectly legal for Granny to be playing hide-the-sausage with (adult and consenting) grandson, on the basis that it's assumed that Grandma can't get pregnant.

Do not try this at home. This should only be done by professional pikeys. No pikeys were harmed in the writing of this post.
Lowering the averages since 2009

User avatar
Rosemary Roberts
Devotee
Posts: 548
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:36 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Rosemary Roberts » Tue Nov 23, 2010 10:26 am

Lesley Hines wrote:Ok - this is an Ewwwwwwwwwwww one, but it's quite interesting. (At least if you live in more rural parts of the country, otherwise it's just ew.)

Incest is only incest if it can produce offspring. Therefore it's illegal for Grandad to be banging (adult and consenting) granddaughter, but perfectly legal for Granny to be playing hide-the-sausage with (adult and consenting) grandson, on the basis that it's assumed that Grandma can't get pregnant.

Do not try this at home. This should only be done by professional pikeys. No pikeys were harmed in the writing of this post.
Seems reasonable to me - what harm could it do. But what if Grandad has had the snip? And has a certificate to prove it. I find that even more Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

Richard Adams
Rookie
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:01 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Richard Adams » Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:23 pm

As far as I can tell, this isn't right.

Incest still exists in Scotland: in this country, 'sex with an adult relative' is the new name for this offence, which is contrary to s.64 Sexual Offences Act 2003.

In neither case is impotence, castration, lack of fertility etc a valid defence.

Sorry, Granny. The sausage will have to be hidden somewhere else.

User avatar
Rosemary Roberts
Devotee
Posts: 548
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:36 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Rosemary Roberts » Mon Nov 29, 2010 7:10 pm

Richard Adams wrote:As far as I can tell, this isn't right.

Incest still exists in Scotland: in this country, 'sex with an adult relative' is the new name for this offence, which is contrary to s.64 Sexual Offences Act 2003.

In neither case is impotence, castration, lack of fertility etc a valid defence.

Sorry, Granny. The sausage will have to be hidden somewhere else.
That seems an odd wording to choose. The guiltier of the parties is normally considered to be the older one, so surely the offence should be "sex with a juvenile relative". The juvenile doesn't usually get much choice.

But where both parties are equally mature and equally willing I don't see the need for an offence at all.

Ryan Taylor
Postmaster General
Posts: 3661
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:18 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Ryan Taylor » Mon Nov 29, 2010 7:48 pm

Jesus, stop worrying about the law and start tormenting some woodlice.

User avatar
Rosemary Roberts
Devotee
Posts: 548
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:36 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Rosemary Roberts » Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:02 pm

Ryan Taylor wrote:Jesus, stop worrying about the law and start tormenting some woodlice.
I think on balance I prefer hiding sausages.

Richard Adams
Rookie
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:01 pm

Re: Trade Secrets

Post by Richard Adams » Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:35 pm

Juvenile? That's another pan of sausages altogether.

Lesley's grandson and granddaughter were both adult and consenting.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests