Questions you've always wanted answered

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Derek Hazell
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Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Derek Hazell »

What are the questions for which you have always wondered the answers? They might be ones you can't find on the Internet, or you don't think a text service like AQA would be able to answer satisfactorily. I think we all have things we have wondered about for a long time.

Two of mine are:
What do ice cream men do for the other six months of the year?
and
What number would the UK be if a list was compiled of the Top 20 windiest countries in the world?
Living life in a gyratory circus kind of way.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Charlie Reams »

Those signs that say "You are here"... What do they say when I'm not?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Phil Reynolds »

There's a well-known quote that says, "Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids." What I want to know is: if insanity is hereditary, does that mean heredity is insanitary?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Michael Wallace »

Derek Hazell wrote:What number would the UK be if a list was compiled of the Top 20 windiest countries in the world?
Not that high surely? I mean, we have our fair share of roman roads. I suppose we don't have the grid-like systems of the US, though.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Phil Reynolds »

Charlie Reams wrote:Those signs that say "You are here"... What do they say when I'm not?
This. Or maybe this.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Jeffrey Burgin »

How do people who need large font or braille editions of leaflets etc. know what number to call for them? Surely they can't see it?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Jimmy Gough »

When David Blaine was in the box above London, how did he piss?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Phil Reynolds »

Jeffrey Burgin wrote:How do people who need large font or braille editions of leaflets etc. know what number to call for them? Surely they can't see it?
On a similar tack, a letter came with this week's subscription copy of Radio Times apologising for any delays caused by postal strikes, and offering the following advice: "If your copy does not arrive in time for Saturday listings, please purchase a copy locally and contact our Subscription Helpline on 0844 8267320. Your subscription will be extended by one week accordingly." I'm guessing they haven't been besieged with calls.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by JackHurst »

On the recent remake of King Kong, how did they get him back to America after they sedated him with the chloroform bottles?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Up to what distance is the cheetah the fastest land animal, and what animal takes over, and what animal takes over from that and so on?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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Gavin Chipper wrote:Up to what distance is the cheetah the fastest land animal, and what animal takes over, and what animal takes over from that and so on?
This is the best question I've seen so far. At a certain point I believe humans can stake a good claim, because bipedalism is much more energy efficient over long distances. A human can run down pretty much any mammal over a long course. It might turn out that some other crazy animal, like an emu, is even better at that range, but I thought this might sate or stimulate your curiosity a bit.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Charlie Reams wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:Up to what distance is the cheetah the fastest land animal, and what animal takes over, and what animal takes over from that and so on?
This is the best question I've seen so far. At a certain point I believe humans can stake a good claim, because bipedalism is much more energy efficient over long distances. A human can run down pretty much any mammal over a long course. It might turn out that some other crazy animal, like an emu, is even better at that range, but I thought this might sate or stimulate your curiosity a bit.
Yeah, I'd heard that humans were pretty good over the long haul as well but then I've also thought that something like a horse can run reasonably long distances (like horse race length) much faster than any human so would probably barely wear themselves out at all if they just had the aim of keeping their nose in front of a human, but that might be completely wrong.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Phil Reynolds »

Charlie Reams wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:Up to what distance is the cheetah the fastest land animal, and what animal takes over, and what animal takes over from that and so on?
This is the best question I've seen so far. At a certain point I believe humans can stake a good claim, because bipedalism is much more energy efficient over long distances. A human can run down pretty much any mammal over a long course. It might turn out that some other crazy animal, like an emu, is even better at that range, but I thought this might sate or stimulate your curiosity a bit.
Reminds me of the Billy Connolly story about the wildlife cameraman and his sound recordist shooting a documentary in the African savannah. They're filming a pride of lions from several hundred yards upwind of the animals. Suddenly the wind changes direction - and through his long lens the cameraman sees one particularly ferocious looking lion sniff the air, get to its feet and start pacing menacingly in their direction, baring its teeth.

"We ought to get out of here," says the cameraman. Getting no response, he glances down at his colleague - to see him pulling on a pair of running shoes. "You're crazy," he says. "If that lion decides to chase after us, you'll never outrun it, even with those shoes."

"I don't need to outrun the lion," says the sound guy. "I just need to outrun you."
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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Phil Reynolds wrote: Reminds me of the Billy Connolly story about the wildlife cameraman and his sound recordist shooting a documentary in the African savannah. They're filming a pride of lions from several hundred yards upwind of the animals. Suddenly the wind changes direction - and through his long lens the cameraman sees one particularly ferocious looking lion sniff the air, get to its feet and start pacing menacingly in their direction, baring its teeth.

"We ought to get out of here," says the cameraman. Getting no response, he glances down at his colleague - to see him pulling on a pair of running shoes. "You're crazy," he says. "If that lion decides to chase after us, you'll never outrun it, even with those shoes."

"I don't need to outrun the lion," says the sound guy. "I just need to outrun you."
This is a famous anecdote from computer security (i.e. your Internet bank doesn't need to be secure, it just needs to not be the most insecure). I wonder if BC invented it himself? It wouldn't surprise me.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Richard Brittain »

What would happen if they accelerated Robocop to the speed of light and made him collide head-on with Phil Makepeace running at full speed?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Richard Brittain wrote:What would happen if they accelerated Robocop to the speed of light and made him collide head-on with Phil Makepeace running at full speed?
Richard, why ask such a question? We should make peace, not war.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Matt Morrison »

Deadly serious this one.

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How do coiled cords manage to fuck themselves up, and is there any way to return them to normal? Every time I stick my headphones on it's pissing me off.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Jeffrey Burgin »

In a similar vein, why if you stuff your headphones in your pocket do they come out implausibly difficultly tangled?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Jon Corby »

Jeffrey Burgin wrote:In a similar vein, why if you stuff your headphones in your pocket do they come out implausibly difficultly tangled?
Ha, I've asked that before on a different forum, Jeffrey, it really annoys me too! You can't actually take a headphone cord and tangle it yourself so it's so difficult to unwind (without tying really tight knots, which isn't the same thing), but put it in your pocket for a few hours and somehow it just happens. Freaky.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Matthew Green »

When Ron Atkinson called Marcel Desailly a 'thick lazy fucking nigger', why didn't Clive Tyledsly protest?
If I suddenly have a squirming baby on my lap it probably means that I should start paying it some attention and stop wasting my time messing around on a Countdown forum
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Peter Mabey »

Matt Morrison wrote:Deadly serious this one.

How do coiled cords manage to fuck themselves up, and is there any way to return them to normal? Every time I stick my headphones on it's pissing me off.
I think a telephone cord gets twisted because you pick it up with your right hand, and then transfer to the left to have that one free, (other way for lefties) so that gives it a rotation the same way every time. If you let the handset dangle under its own weight from the cord the twists will unwind, provided you've not left it so long that the coiled parts are entangled. :(
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Ben Hunter »

Peter Mabey wrote:
Matt Morrison wrote:Deadly serious this one.

How do coiled cords manage to fuck themselves up, and is there any way to return them to normal? Every time I stick my headphones on it's pissing me off.
I think a telephone cord gets twisted because you pick it up with your right hand, and then transfer to the left to have that one free, (other way for lefties) so that gives it a rotation the same way every time. If you let the handset dangle under its own weight from the cord the twists will unwind, provided you've not left it so long that the coiled parts are entangled. :(
Mabey you're onto something here.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Matt Morrison »

Ben Hunter wrote:
Peter Mabey wrote:
Matt Morrison wrote:How do coiled cords manage to fuck themselves up, and is there any way to return them to normal? Every time I stick my headphones on it's pissing me off.
I think a telephone cord gets twisted because you pick it up with your right hand, and then transfer to the left to have that one free, (other way for lefties) so that gives it a rotation the same way every time. If you let the handset dangle under its own weight from the cord the twists will unwind, provided you've not left it so long that the coiled parts are entangled. :(
Mabey you're onto something here.
Haha, great punnery. So yeah, am currently doing my best to try your method Peter, although as I said they are headphones rather than a telephone, so there's no passing from hand-to-hand that could have screwed the cord up, must just have been everyday wear and tear.

As you can see below, I hung my headphones on the light, and am letting the cord hang. At first I left the MP3 player attached but this weighted down the cord enough so that it just stretched (that being the point of a coiled cord in the first place) and dragged along the floor. So it's currently just hanging with its own weight, but it really doesn't seem to be doing anything at all. I'd be happy to try a weighted thing but I'll have to rethink it so that it doesn't hit the floor, and besides I'm a bit hesitant that the cord wouldn't re-coil itself properly. Hmm.

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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Michael Wallace »

Matt Morrison wrote:As you can see below...
Good choice in computer game magazine.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by David Williams »

Whenever I started a new job it used to amaze me that my predecessor was able to work despite being unable to get his handset more than six inches away from his telephone. It only needs untwisting, but there's something counter-intuitive about which direction to go. So lay the handset on the desk and put it right coil by coil, starting at the phone end. Repeat as necessary after a couple of days when it's settled down. And don't let anyone see you do it. They are forming first impressions, and you're heading straight for the "How Autistic is He" category.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Matt Morrison »

Michael Wallace wrote:
Matt Morrison wrote:As you can see below...
Good choice in computer game magazine.
Note the subscribers-only cover.
Also, that sex-toy-looking thing is a blower for cleaning my lens (and that's not a euphemism).
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Michael Wallace »

Matt Morrison wrote:Note the subscribers-only cover.
Totally. We only got around to subscribing about a year ago - we'd been putting it off until we were happy with the free t-shirts they were offering (we ended up with non pro omnibus est and the space invaders attacking Westminster ones).

Not entirely sure why i felt the need to share these details of my wardrobe, but there you go.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Ben Hunter »

When I subscribed to Edge a while ago I got the red t-shirt with a big Chinese symbol on it. I wish I'd gone for the Marble Madness one though :(
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Matt Morrison »

Michael Wallace wrote:
Matt Morrison wrote:Note the subscribers-only cover.
Totally. We only got around to subscribing about a year ago - we'd been putting it off until we were happy with the free t-shirts they were offering (we ended up with non pro omnibus est and the space invaders attacking Westminster ones).

Not entirely sure why i felt the need to share these details of my wardrobe, but there you go.
I missed out on those ones, I was toing-and-froing about subscribing still at that point. Nice to back into it - used to read about 6 years ago and then only rediscovered about a year back. But yeah, I must have subscribed a couple of months after you I guess, I got the next couple - dark blue with the E logo made up from various consoles and controllers, and then a bear sat in an armchair playing a game in front of a telly.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Michael Wallace »

Did you see my letter a couple of months back? I was trying to win a DS, didn't quite manage it though :(
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Matt Morrison »

Michael Wallace wrote:Did you see my letter a couple of months back? I was trying to win a DS, didn't quite manage it though :(
Issue number me. I guess I rarely pay attention to the names but I can guarantee I read it, for sure.

That does make me chuckle a bit though, I quite often read letters thinking "ha! I bet that person thought they were guaranteed the DS!" - they are rarely awarded to the one I'd expect, I don't know if that's quite deliberate or not.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Matt Morrison »

Right then. I'm tempted to say Peter's idea of letting it hang was an awful idea. I re-jigged it and popped the mp3 player back on the end to weigh it down, the rejigging meaning it wasn't touching the floor so could work itself out. Was not happening, and after a few minutes of me panicking that the cord would be ruined forever, all loose like a slut, I had a go at David's suggestion of simply uncoiling it by hand.

About three methods down the line, I managed to work it out (literally), very strange feeling, feels like you're just twisting it but then you let go and it zips back into place, beautiful. As you can see from the pictures below, the top kink is still out of shape. This may or may not be because I worked them up the cord rather than down. Not sure. Pretty pleased overall though, so will leave it at that for now.

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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Michael Wallace »

Matt Morrison wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:Did you see my letter a couple of months back? I was trying to win a DS, didn't quite manage it though :(
Issue number me. I guess I rarely pay attention to the names but I can guarantee I read it, for sure.

That does make me chuckle a bit though, I quite often read letters thinking "ha! I bet that person thought they were guaranteed the DS!" - they are rarely awarded to the one I'd expect, I don't know if that's quite deliberate or not.
Erm, I'd have to go Under The Bed to find it, but it was the one where the subscriber cover was a bright pink No More Heroes one (I think), and the non-subscriber was a load of consoles.

I'm actually making a semi-serious point in the letter, but it was primarily an attempt to blag a free DS. I bet they didn't let me have it because I'm a gayer. Racists.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Matt Morrison »

Michael Wallace wrote:
Matt Morrison wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:Did you see my letter a couple of months back? I was trying to win a DS, didn't quite manage it though :(
Issue number me. I guess I rarely pay attention to the names but I can guarantee I read it, for sure.

That does make me chuckle a bit though, I quite often read letters thinking "ha! I bet that person thought they were guaranteed the DS!" - they are rarely awarded to the one I'd expect, I don't know if that's quite deliberate or not.
Erm, I'd have to go Under The Bed to find it, but it was the one where the subscriber cover was a bright pink No More Heroes one (I think), and the non-subscriber was a load of consoles.

I'm actually making a semi-serious point in the letter, but it was primarily an attempt to blag a free DS. I bet they didn't let me have it because I'm a gayer. Racists.
Well ahead of you. Was just scanning it for those interested. Will post in a new thread in a moment TO MAKE YOU FAMOUS. It's here.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Sue Sanders »

[quote="Matt Morrison].
Also, that sex-toy-looking thing is a blower for cleaning my lens (and that's not a euphemism).[/quote]

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:shock: Is that the Yahoo Bot?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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I always wondered why girl's leg lengths were longer than boy's leg lengths in trouser sizes, when boys are much taller. I worked it out last week. Amazing feeling.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Gavin Chipper »

I don't drink tea because it tastes disgusting. But those that do seem to think that the water has to be boiling, rather than just hot, before you make make your cup of tea. So my question is - isn't it a bit of a fucking coincidence that water happens to boil at the right temperature to make tea possible?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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Gavin Chipper wrote:I don't drink tea because it tastes disgusting. But those that do seem to think that the water has to be boiling, rather than just hot, before you make make your cup of tea. So my question is - isn't it a bit of a fucking coincidence that water happens to boil at the right temperature to make tea possible?
Not really. In my experience, the hotter the better for making tea. Boiling just happens to be as hot as one can normally get.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Rosemary Roberts wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:I don't drink tea because it tastes disgusting. But those that do seem to think that the water has to be boiling, rather than just hot, before you make make your cup of tea. So my question is - isn't it a bit of a fucking coincidence that water happens to boil at the right temperature to make tea possible?
Not really. In my experience, the hotter the better for making tea. Boiling just happens to be as hot as one can normally get.
So tea would be even "better" if water boiled at a higher temperature?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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Gavin Chipper wrote:I don't drink tea because it tastes disgusting. But those that do seem to think that the water has to be boiling, rather than just hot, before you make make your cup of tea. So my question is - isn't it a bit of a fucking coincidence that water happens to boil at the right temperature to make tea possible?
Eh? The reason why the water has to be at a rolling boil when poured onto the tea leaves is to do with oxygenation, not temperature.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Charlie Reams »

Gavin Chipper wrote:So tea would be even "better" if water boiled at a higher temperature?
Which is entirely possible, if for example you make your tea below sea level. So yes, I think Rosemary is right.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Charlie Reams wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:So tea would be even "better" if water boiled at a higher temperature?
Which is entirely possible, if for example you make your tea below sea level. So yes, I think Rosemary is right.
But it's to do with oxygenation, not temperature! Don't you know anything?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Rosemary Roberts »

Gavin Chipper wrote:
Charlie Reams wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:So tea would be even "better" if water boiled at a higher temperature?
Which is entirely possible, if for example you make your tea below sea level. So yes, I think Rosemary is right.
But it's to do with oxygenation, not temperature! Don't you know anything?
If the aim is to get all the dissolved oxygen out of the water before it goes on the tea leaves then getting the water hotter than boiling should drive even more of it out. But why, then, does it ruin the tea to use water that has already gone off the boil? And it does - it's rubbiish.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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Rosemary Roberts wrote:If the aim is to get all the dissolved oxygen out of the water before it goes on the tea leaves then getting the water hotter than boiling should drive even more of it out. But why, then, does it ruin the tea to use water that has already gone off the boil? And it does - it's rubbiish.
No - the aim is for the dissolved oxygen to be released as (not before) the water makes contact with the leaves. The oxygen then reacts with minerals in the tea to create a much more appealing flavour than tea made with water that is not boiling. Likewise, water that has boiled and been allowed to stand has lost most of its dissolved oxygen, and makes disappointing tea even if reboiled.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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Phil Reynolds wrote:
Rosemary Roberts wrote:If the aim is to get all the dissolved oxygen out of the water before it goes on the tea leaves then getting the water hotter than boiling should drive even more of it out. But why, then, does it ruin the tea to use water that has already gone off the boil? And it does - it's rubbiish.
No - the aim is for the dissolved oxygen to be released as (not before) the water makes contact with the leaves. The oxygen then reacts with minerals in the tea to create a much more appealing flavour than tea made with water that is not boiling. Likewise, water that has boiled and been allowed to stand has lost most of its dissolved oxygen, and makes disappointing tea even if reboiled.
Now, if you could just translate that into all the major languages of the world....maybe get it printed in phrase books.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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Sue Sanders wrote:
Phil Reynolds wrote:the aim is for the dissolved oxygen to be released as (not before) the water makes contact with the leaves. The oxygen then reacts with minerals in the tea to create a much more appealing flavour than tea made with water that is not boiling. Likewise, water that has boiled and been allowed to stand has lost most of its dissolved oxygen, and makes disappointing tea even if reboiled.
Now, if you could just translate that into all the major languages of the world....maybe get it printed in phrase books.
Starting with American English.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

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Do cows' voices break?
16/10/2007 - Episode 4460
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Phil Reynolds »

Kai Laddiman wrote:Do cows' voices break?
Anne Widdecombe's does, usually several times per sentence.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Sue Sanders »

Phil Reynolds wrote:
Kai Laddiman wrote:Do cows' voices break?
Anne Widdecombe's does, usually several times per sentence.
You really don't like fat women who aren't getting any cock, do you, Phil? ;)
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Sue Sanders »

Seeing this thread again makes me realise - Jono's post alluding to feeling girls up has gone by without any reaction - but Gavin's boiling water for tea thread has been heartily embraced. :?
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Phil Reynolds
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Phil Reynolds »

Sue Sanders wrote:You really don't like fat women who aren't getting any cock, do you, Phil? ;)
Some of my best friends etc etc.

I don't like Anne Widdecombe because she's a nasty, small-minded bigot, pure and simple. The fact that she's also fat, ugly and has an annoying voice... well, those are the kinds of things that you overlook (or even relish) in people you like, but which reinforce your dislike of people you hate anyway. Strange (and unfair) but there it is.

(Hope that made sense, I'm on my third glass of wine and haven't eaten yet.)
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Chris Corby »

Kai Laddiman wrote:Do cows' voices break?
Cows are female, so no.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Chris Corby »

Charlie Reams wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:So tea would be even "better" if water boiled at a higher temperature?
Which is entirely possible, if for example you make your tea below sea level. So yes, I think Rosemary is right.
Yeah but it would taste all salty.
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Chris Corby »

Next
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Sue Sanders
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Sue Sanders »

Next week's lottery numbers please, Chris. And, am I ever going to find true love?
:?:
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Kirk Bevins »

Sue Sanders wrote:Next week's lottery numbers please, Chris. And, am I ever going to find true love?
:?:

Am I dumped already, Sue?
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Sue Sanders
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Sue Sanders »

Kirk Bevins wrote:
Sue Sanders wrote:Next week's lottery numbers please, Chris. And, am I ever going to find true love?
:?:

Am I dumped already, Sue?
Chris, is Kirk dumped already?
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Chris Corby »

Sue

Kirk should be dumped if he has used the "I would like two from the top and one from the bottom" line on you, and if so, join the Swinging Heaven website where true love flows in abundance.

For lottery numbers see separate thread about Derren Brown but I would go for 43 and five others which I don't wish to reveal as it is better to have four million quid all to oneself :P
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Re: Questions you've always wanted answered

Post by Ian Volante »

Chris Corby wrote:Kirk should be dumped if he has used the "I would like two from the top and one from the bottom" line on you
Surely that's better than "I would like two from the top and two from the bottom"?
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