In Summer 2008, inspired by the great Kirk Bevins' appearance on the show, I decided to take the plunge and apply for legendary BBC quiz show The Weakest Link. I'd had a crack at Countdown the year before which I'd thoroughly enjoyed and ever since had wondered when I might next appear on screen (probably Crimewatch). They sent me an application which lingered in my bedroom drawer until about September when I finally got round to filling in all the boxes and making myself sound vaguely interesting and I sent it off.
October came around and I thought my application might lay lost and forgotten somewhere as Countdown had got back to me straight away within the week, or possibly they'd dismissed it as soon as they'd seen my god awful passport photograph where I look extremely maladaptive. So I was quite surprised when some guy called Huw from contestant research rang me up while I was in Subway. "Yes I can talk." I mumbled ecstatically through a mouthful of Meatball Marinara. As it happened there was an audition taking place in two weeks at a hotel in Sheffield and they wanted me to attend. A few days later I received an information pack telling me how to reach the venue and what to expect at the audition.
The Audition
The day of the audition arrived. After a full day's lectures I got the tram to the audition venue, the Park Inn Hotel in Sheffield. When I arrived in reception I was directed to a sitting area where other people were awaiting the same fate as me, so I introduced myself. Coincidentally I already knew one of the hopefuls, Brian, as I'd gone to a youth theatre group with his kids when I was young. Eventually we were all called in to the audition room. Huw, from the phone conversation was there to run us through the whole process, along with another girl (I think she was called Danielle) We sat down and were given a written test of 20 general knowledge questions which we had 3 minutes to answer. They were mostly school-subject style trivia like "Who was Henry VIII's 2nd wife?" I'd barely answered all the questions and couldn't remember the name of the political movement involving Emmeline Pankhurst, when they told us to stop writing.
Next we had to stand up and talk a bit about ourselves for 30 seconds before moving on to a simulated opening round of The Weakest Link. We banked £300 (not very good for an opening round) and we cast our votes. We all voted for the poor senior on the end who got 2 wrong. The funny thing was he actually picked up his coat to leave the room before being told to stay! Then Huw stood in as Anne Robinson to see how we would cope with her acid-tongue. He turned to me and did the whole "Oh you're a lazy student" gig that Anne does so well. As I found out later this was NOTHING compared to the real thing!
We waited back outside the room while they marked our quiz efforts, before calling us in one by one do a 5 minute camera interview. Myself, Brian and a lady called Chris, started talking and joking about some of the wrong answers we'd given, including Brian's question: What B is another name for the sternum (breastbone) to which he blurted out Breast! We were the last 3 there. Chris went in, then Brian, then me. Huw congratulated me on scoring highest in the GK quiz with 15 out of 20, then Danielle talked to me about the stuff I'd put on my application including an "ambition to be a great guitarist" A slight exaggeration of my zest for the game Guitar Hero there! She also had me demonstrate some karate moves so I did a couple of high kicks for the camera and listed their Japanese terminology. Then she asked how I'd get on with Anne on the show and I punned that we'd definitely have chemistry! (NB: must use that later!)
So that was the audition in full. I texted Brian to say I'd thought it went well and I'd tried my very breast, to which he replied "Let's hope it doesn't go tits up!" A few weeks later we both received letters saying we'd made the contestant shortlist, but it didn't necessarily mean we'd be picked to be on the show. For each episode the contestant researchers have to find 9 people of different areas, ages and occupations and not all the applicants fit into this meticulous people jigsaw, as we found out because just before Christmas a girl named Sophie rang saying I'd been selected, whereas Brian is still on that waiting list! The date of recording was Mon 9th February. I couldn't wait! They sent me the contestant guidelines which briefs you on things like what clothes are ok to wear etc, along with a very lengthy medical questionnaire. In January she rang again to do a bit more of an "in-depth" interview to gather information for Anne to use on the show. Most of this proved rather fruitless as it was barely used on the show, and as I went over some of the finer points of my degree I think most of it went straight over Sophie's head! I was also contacted by The Weakest Link's lovely travel co-ordinator who sorted all my train tickets for me to get there and back, and arranged my hotel room as I had to be at Pinewood Studios for 11am so needed to stay overnight. Overall I had to travel from Sheffield > Doncaster > Kings Cross > Paddington > Slough . Then on the way back
Slough > Paddington > London St Pancras > Sheffield. 5 trains and 2 tube journeys which altogether came to £187! I'm sure I could have got a cheaper deal myself, but they were paying for it all for me! They also reimbursed me for a taxi to the hotel, and one back to the station after the recording.
The Night Before
After a 4 hour journey down to Slough on Sunday afternoon with a Countdown puzzle book and The Listener cryptic crosswords for company (I'd forgot my set of Weakest Link question cards I'd got ages ago one Christmas) I arrived at the hotel about 6.30pm. It was masseev! I noticed on the wall it was something like £200 a night! But it was someone else's money, not mine! I walked down about 4 corridors to my room which was very nice. The hotel manager had left me a letter applauding my gall to be on the show AND out of all the contestants staying in the hotel hoped that I would be the strongest link! How very nice of him! The bed was enormous but alas I was all on my lonesome so I did the only logical thing to do which is to jump up and down on it! I rang Emma who was at work, to tell her I missed her and how nice it all was. Later I trekked back down the 4 long corridors to go to dinner. The BBC had also agreed to reimburse me £10 towards my dinner (which down South just about gets you a breadcake!) I espied a Spaghetti dish on the menu for £10.25 so decided to have that! After dinner with nothing else left to do (I contemplated hitting the hotel bar and asking game show looking-types "Excuse me, are you per chance here for The Weakest Link?" and hatching an ingenious game plan, but then thought I might look a bit weird) I returned to my room and channel-surfed til I found The Simpsons and The Baftas. Then I tried to get some shut-eye, epically failing due to the prospect of what was to come tomorrow! I started pondering possible comebacks to anything the Queen of Mean might say to me, and finally got to sleep about 3am.
The Big Day
I got up at about 8am, had a shower and a shave, then went to breakfast. They'd said in the contestant guidelines to make sure to have a big breakfast as during the day there'd only be short breaks allowing for just a snack. The hotel breakfast certainly didn't disappoint. They had a massive spread on with cereals, cheeses, smoothies, yoghurts, cured meats, croissants and various pastries, a fruit salad bar, even an omelette station where a friendly chef pops out and makes your eggs however you want them! In short I gorged! Then I headed back to the room to gather all my things as they'd be picking me up along with any other contestants from our show at 10am. I got to reception and spotted two girls chatting on comfy chairs near the entrance. "Are you here for the Weakest Link?" I asked. "Yes!" They introduced themselves. The younger was Molly, a (change and development operative?) at a cheese factory in Shropshire, and the other was Tracey, a student midwife from Nottingham. We started talking about how nervous we all were, and what television experience we'd had before. Tracey had been on 1 vs 100 as part of the 100 people and applied for tv stuff through beonscreen.co.uk. Molly hadn't been on anything before, I told them about my time on Countdown but tried to play it down a bit as I didn't want to sound too brainy! Then a guy called Ian, a welder from Manchester emerged and cheerily introduced himself. And a middle-aged man with thinning hair called Phillip, who'd been sitting across the entrance from us but hadn't said anything, finally came over and said hello. He was a semi-retired West Yorkshire magistrate formerly from Liverpool which showed in his accent. He also sounded rather effeminate and wore wedges despite claiming to be married. Then 2 cars came to collect us. Myself and the 2 girls piled into one while Phillip and Ian got in the other, and we were on our way to Pinewood.
In the car we started talking about what we thought Anne might ask us should we get to banter with her, about how we already thought Phillip was a bit of a weirdo, and if we thought we had any chance of winning. "I'll probably be off in the first round" said Molly "I don't know that much general knowledge!" As we passed through the studio gates I could see the studio was certainly a bit bigger than ITV Studios at Kirkstall Road in Leeds. We were at the home of the James Bond films! We hauled all our luggage into reception where Sophie met us and took us down to the green room. Despite its name the green room wasn't green. It was a big white room with settees on each side and a TV monitor in one corner. On screen 9 people were walking about on set, eventually finding their way to their own podium. These were the contestants being filmed for The Weakest Link episode prior to ours. Very soon we'd be meeting the same fate! Then in turn each contestant practiced introducing their self to a rotating camera on a boom. Just as I was getting into the filming process Sophie switched over to ITV to catch This Morning! The nerve! Then entered Mary, a 66 year old writer and speaker from Kings Lynn and Lorraine, a driving instructor from Kent, who would make 2 more members of our team, along with some 3 or 4 stand-in contestants. They film 3 episodes per day and need 27 contestants in all, so it makes sense to have a few spare players in case of travel problems. The previous week there had been heavy snow all across the UK. So bad that they'd had to cancel several recordings, not only for The Weakest Link but for many other programmes too. All in all it set the BBC back 2 million pounds, which makes you realise the logistical nightmare that goes on behind the scenes!
After a bit of small talk they moved all the contestants scheduled for the next recording down to green room number 2 where we were joined by our final 2 teammates: Dave, a comedy club director from Bristol, and Marlon, a 29 year old musician and DJ from London. Here the wardrobe department looked over our selection of outfits in order to get a range of colours and make sure we wouldn't strobe on camera. Needless to say the women were flawless, and all the men needed sorting out as we'd all picked blue as our primary shirt (except for Phillip who chose purple) even though they'd warned us about it in the contestant guidelines! In the end Marlon went for a flowery shirt he'd made himself which, of course, later was the subject of conversation with Anne, and they assigned me a grey shirt/t-shirt which I'd worn on my final appearance on Countdown, in which I lost! I hoped it wasn't an omen!
One by one we went to have our make-up done and the contestant researchers went over the details of our phone interviews with us once more. While we waited and took several toilet trips more small talk ensued. Marlon told us about his band Rawfox and Sophie delved into our personal lives. Suddenly out of the blue Phillip decided to tell a joke detailing the finer differences between how Welshmen and Sheffielders shag sheep, thus furthering our suspicions that he was... a bit weird. Then we went to get changed into our outfits for the show and headed back to the first green room to drop off all our stuff. We made our way to the blue room seen at the beginning of each episode. Here they talked us through the rules of the game (as if we didn't know already) among which they demonstrated how the money ladder worked and told us when voting not to make little doodles like "Hi mum!" on the board! Also for the first time they showed us a diagram of which podium we'd all be standing on for the duration of the game. This actually plays a big part in the outcome of the game as not only does it determine possible alliances from who you'll be stood next to (the podiums are very close to one another and its easy to glance at the board of the person next to you) but also what questions each person receives. Although within each round the questions are of similar difficulty, there are certainly some that stand out and can easily be the sole cause of your exit from the game. As it turned out we were positioned alternately with respect to gender:
Dave - Mary - Ian - Molly - Phillip - Tracey - Marlon - Lorraine - Dinos
Being on the end podium meant, that with Dave being first alphabetically, should we make a chain of 8 successive correct answers straight away, the onus would be on me to answer the final question correctly, or else surely be voted off! Then they split us into groups of 2 or 3 to film the intro where contestants are seen talking before the show. I was put with Tracey and Lorraine. Its amazing how hard it is just to talk as if naturally with a camera in your face. We'd chatted away fine until then but then suddenly became very wary! They'd told us to be expressive and use our hands. So we turned to the obvious subject in this situation and started talking about carrots!
Into The Lion's Den
After they'd got what they needed for the opening segment we walked into the recording studio. This was it. The arena as seen on TV was a lot smaller than I'd anticipated, and surrounded by floodlights creating an eerie blue glow. The other half of the studio was more or less blacked out. There were a few stagehands and techies with laptops and recording equipment, and above them a giant overhead projection of the money ladder and a digital time display. We walked up to our podiums as we'd seen the previous bunch of contestants do before us. Some of the vertically challenged among us were given a step to make sure we all appeared at the same height when the rotating camera came round for us to introduce ourselves and cast our votes. Then we were miked up and we rehearsed saying our introduction to the rotating camera which hovered above Anne's platform. As it swivelled to our position the red light would come on and we had to give our details in the order NATO - Name, Age, Town, Occupation. Then the studio manager briefed us on voting etiquette. After writing down your vote you must pretend to continue doing so to allow the cameramen to get a shot of each of us writing on our board to use in the voiceover segment. Then when Anne says "Voting over. Its time to reveal who you think is the weakest link." you must pick up your board on the words "voting over" and raise it to chest level on the word "weakest". Then when the camera turns to you, you flip your board over and state your vote. (Dave and I both voted for Bob so with 2 votes he was the weakest link!) Then SHE arrived...
Enter Anne
Everyone was completely silent as Anne walked onto set. As always she was dressed completely in black. No friendly chit-chat or even a hello. She mounted her podium and plunged straight into her opening spiel. "Welcome to The Weakest Link!" The boom camera then swooped up and backwards to show a full shot of the studio. "Any of the 9 contestants here today could walk away with..." My mind trailed off as I practiced in my head what I was going to say: "Dinos, 20, Sheffield, Student. Dinos, 20, Sheffield, Student." I actually live in Rotherham but said Sheffield because
a) I study in Sheffield and spend most of my time there anyway.
b) I'll be moving in there with Emma this Summer, and the transmission date (they'd estimated 3 months after recording) could well have been after this.
c) Rotherham is a bit rubbish!
"...lets meet the team!" Everyone said their bit. Finally as the camera turned to me I swallowed and said my bit that I'd practiced over and over in my head. Then Anne went over the rules etc as she does at the beginning of each show. "Round 1. You have 3 minutes on the clock. We start with the person who's first alphabetically. That's Dave. Let's play The Weakest Link!"
Round 1 - The Nerve-Shredder
People always say the easiest questions when watching at home are a nightmare to answer under the spotlight. Especially with the way some of the questions are phrased, you have no idea what the question might be asking until you get to the end of it. So I tried to get myself into the frame of mind I'm in when watching at home. Listen carefully to the questions, be calm, think, then give the answer. Try not to be too hesitant and if you don't know it, just have a reasonable guess. I played along in my head with other people's questions which all seemed pretty standard. We had a string of 5 correct answers totalling £300, then Anne came to Tracey: "Tracey, in the human body the 5 senses are touch, sound, smell, taste and which other?" "Sound" she replied, which Anne had already listed! "No, sight." Tracey's face turned to absolute despair. She'd slipped up on a pretty easy question which lost us £300 and effectively foiled the team's easiest chance to reach £1000 via 9 consecutive correct answers. Despite losing the chain money, a small part of me rejoiced in Tracey's failure. Someone else had messed up in the first round which almost certainly meant that I wouldn't be first out, which is everybody's worst nightmare! Then after Marlon and Lorraine, Anne came to me: "Dinos, which area in California..." "Crap!" I panicked "what areas do I know in California. My mind failed to think of any as Anne came to the end of her question "...is known as Beverly what?" "Phew!" I thought "Thank God I know it!" and replied "Hills" delightedly. "Correct" 2 more correct answers followed and we were back up to £300 on the money ladder, which Ian banked. Then after his question and Molly's, Phillip was asked: "In a non leap year how many days are there in February?" "29" he replied. "No. 28." What a plonker! Soon Anne came to me again and asked "In which soap opera is there a business called Cassie's?" Soaps are certainly not my forte, so I responded with the first one that came to mind "Coronation Street?" "No, Eastenders." Drat! I'd lost us £100 in the opening round. Molly banked a further £100 and the round was over. "End of the round, and you banked £400." Then as usual Anne makes quips such as "Who's so dim they'd fail a blood test? It's time to vote off the weakest link!"
The First Vote
We picked up our boards to write down our votes. While trying to think who to vote for my wrong answer was haunting me in the back of my mind. At this point I was shaking like a leaf! I tried to console myself hoping I wouldn't get many votes since my answer was a decent guess at something I didn't know, whereas Tracey and Phillip's questions were inherent knowledge. Phillip's incorrect answer stuck out the most for me so I wrote his name down (albeit incorrectly spelt!) and continued to fake write over it for a minute while the camera crew got their voting shots. Later on a voiceover is added over these shots to tell the viewers at home who is the strongest link and the weakest link from that round. This is determined firstly from the number of correct answers, followed by number of incorrect answers, then money banked (and I presume after this its chain money lost, as Tracey was the weakest link in this round) Here are the stats for our opening round for all you stat fans!

Before the outcome of the vote is revealed a stage-hand comes round to tally the votes. He comes round again to issue clean boards to everyone before the beginning of each next round and make sure they are correctly orientated. "Voting over." (we pick up our boards) "Its time to reveal who you think is the weakest" (we raise our boards) "link" One by one we flipped our boards over. 4 votes for Tracey, 4 for Phillip and 1 for Marlon. I was safe!
Anne Banter Part 1
The relief I felt after not receiving a single vote despite statistically being the 2nd-worst player was short-lived as Anne turned her podium towards me. The following conversation ensued :
(NB some dialogue was edited out, including Anne telling me to sort my hair out. Hence the sudden change in my appearance while she is talking to me! I've included certain omissions in italics)
Anne: Dinos
Me: Yes, Anne?
Anne: Now normally when I think of the name Dinos I imagine someone muscular with olive skin bursting out of his trousers.
Me: (Nodding)Yep that's me!
Anne: Do you ever sweep any housewives off their feet?
Me: Oh I don't need to, Anne. I've got a lovely girlfriend back home.
Anne: And what do you do?
Me: Erm... well we do everything together really. *Cue laughs
Anne: (holding back giggles) No, Dinos, be careful this is a family show. What do you do?
Me: I'm a student, Anne. I study chemistry and maths at Sheffield.
Anne: And how do you find a girlfriend when you're studying chemistry and maths?
Me: Well we met at school and fell in love at school. (Awww)
Anne: And where do you take her?
Me: Err... well we go to the cinema.
Anne: And do you sit in the back row at the cinema?
Me: We do, yes.
Anne: And what do you do in the back row?
Me: Erm... we watch the film.
Anne: Is that because you're a maths student? Why Phillip?
Me: He got a question wrong and lost us some money. (not to mention him being a bit weird)
Finally Anne turned away to grill Dave about the size of his package at his comedy club. I could breathe again! I'd got through the first round, and had a banter with Anne which had gone more or less ok. Even if I got voted off next I'd have that to look back on. Then Anne turned to Ian. He was the strongest link since he'd got 3 right and banked some money. "Now Ian you can stick with Phillip who's a bit up himself, or you can change your vote to Tracey." Ian stuck with Phillip. Anne turned to Phillip: "Phillip" (cue Phillip to try and get a word in as he knew the immortal words that were coming next!) "You are The Weakest Link! Goodbye."
In the studio not only do you have to do the walk of shame once, but twice! Double the humiliation, so that they can get 2 different shots! You could tell Phillip was absolutely livid about being voted off. In his post mortem interview afterwards he said Ian should be off next since he had the casting vote. To be fair Phillip only had himself to blame as he'd unwisely voted for Marlon who got both his questions right. Had he voted for Tracey instead he'd have still been there!
Round 2 - A Tremendous Improvement (for me anyway!)
The next round was considerably less daunting! As the strongest link in the last round Ian started off. He had to ask for the question to be repeated, which is one of my pet hates if you're just stalling for time, but in this instance he knew the answer. Tracey banked £50 after which Marlon passed on "Which of the 3 British armed forces is the oldest?" The answer of course being the RAF which could have at least warranted a guess! Lorraine and I strung together 2 correct answers which Dave then lost by not knowing what animal George is on legendary kids TV show Rainbow. Ian got one wrong as well, then Tracey was asked "In tennis when each player has scored once the score is announced as 15-what?" "Love." she replied. Of course the answer was "all". As she'd done in the first round, Tracey had not listened properly to the question and fluffed it! I'd already made my mind up about who to vote for. I also decided at that point, if we ever were to get any money I'd bank if there was ever £50 or more on the money ladder, which is exactly how much there was when Anne came round to me again. "BANK!" I said enthusiastically. I got another right, followed by 3 more which Ian and Molly banked for £120 just before the end of the round.
This time between writing down our vote and revealing it we had a short break while the crew gathered their stats, during which they brought us some water and we took the opportunity to sit down on Anne's platform. My legs had been bound to the same spot, knees locked, since Anne had walked on, so this came as a great relief! Sophie came over to us and asked me how I felt after Anne grilled me. "Petrified!" I said "but at least I've got it over with!" "Well she sometimes comes back to talk to people more than once!" Then we were back up on our platforms and revealed our votes.

I was surprised more people hadn't voted for Tracey but as it turns out Dave was statistically the weakest link in this round. Despite him getting all 3 right in the opening round it seems the Rainbow question had stuck in people's heads so he had to go.
Anne talk: Anne asked Marlon about his cool grandma shirt and asked Molly where different cheeses come from "What about stilton? Does that come from stilton?"
Round 3 - From Strength to Strength
"Round 3 and you've banked £620. We're taking 10 seconds off the clock. We start with the strongest link from the last round. That's Dinos." (cue surge of pride!) "Lets play The Weakest Link!"
What followed was my strongest round on the show. I answered 3 questions correctly and banked £50. However altogether we only managed to secure £90 in that round with Marlon banking the other £40. Ian got one wrong, which lost £50 but Molly was definitely the weakest link in this round getting both her questions wrong and losing us £100, but it was Lorraine who lost out in the vote after getting her first question in the game wrong. A very tricky one in my opinion demanding the answer "Golf ball" which is supposedly a kind of typewriter! No I've never heard of it either. The vote was very close, as can be seen below. Any one different vote could have swung it.

Round 4 - Gargh!
Straight after my strongest round came my weakest. I banked £150 but only answered 1 out of 3 questions correctly. My first was a radio question asking which Radio 2 DJ has a segment on his show about bits of information he calls "factoids". I don't listen to radio, and certainly not Radio 2 so hazarded a guess at the first name that came to my head "Mark Lamarr?" "No, Steve Wright." I was then asked to name the author of Enduring Love and another book, who as it turns out I'd never heard of (Ian McEwan) Luckily for me Ian also answered 2 wrong, including a question on square roots, and Molly got one wrong as well. Despite my poor performance we banked £250. Once again it was time to vote. I knew my best chance of survival was to vote for Ian, so I did. Once again we had a short break with a chance to sit down and discuss the game so far. Apparently Ian knew my radio question just as I'd known his maths question. If only we could have swapped places! Then the votes were revealed. Mary voted Ian. Then it was Ian's turn. I'd fully expected him to vote for me as I had done for him, so was surprised when he turned over his board and said Molly. Then Molly and Tracey both revealed my name. Grrr! But I had it coming as I'd voted for them in rounds 2 and 3. As Marlon revealed his vote for Ian I breathed a sigh of relief as I knew the outcome, and turned my board over (Sorry Ian!)

First Anne talked to Mary about her bodice-ripper novels. Then as Sophie had forewarned Anne turned her platform towards me for a 2nd chat. First she asked me about what I want to do after I finish my degree, following which I told her about my karate. She scoffed at my lack of muscles which I told her I only get once I reach black belt! However it was edited out, in favour of this geeky excerpt:
Anne: Dinos, why did you vote for Ian?
Me: He got the square root of 121 wrong.
Anne: I bet you knew that didn't you?
Me: Yes I did.
Anne: Do you know all the square roots?
Me: Of course I do!
Anne: What's so special about square roots?
Me: They're just beautiful in every way.
Anne: In what way in particular?
Me: ...The way you can square them back... to get the original answer.
Anne: Are square roots your favourite?
Me: No, Anne. Venn diagrams are my favourite.
Anne: Oh, really? What are they?
Me: Well they're basically 2 circles that overlap and...
Anne: I'll stop you there, Dinos, because I'm getting too excited!
Me: Okay I'll let you go.
Then Ian took the walk of shame. After recording, Ian told me he didn't vote for me hoping we could have forged an alliance. In his post-mortem he regretted voting for Molly, saying if he'd voted for me instead he'd still be there. Not so. It would have forced a tie and Mary, as the strongest link would have had the casting vote, and I don't think I gave her any reason to change her mind and vote for me. If I'd also voted for Molly we would have had a three-way tie, but I still think Mary would have booted off Ian.
Round 5 - The Injustice Begins!
We were down to 5 of us left, The half-way stage in the game. I was ecstatic at how far I'd already managed to get. When I'd applied I thought my general knowledge was good enough to give me a fair chance, but this was the first point in the game that I thought "I might actually win this!" With fewer people left it was getting easier to keep track of how many questions each person got right. Mary hadn't got a question wrong so far, and as the strongest link in the last round she went first and continued her streak. Then Molly passed on "What B is a hat typically worn by women going to church?" Then Tracey, Marlon and I strung together 3 answers. This was the only time I deviated from my strategy of banking after reaching £50. Then Mary gave her first incorrect answer: "What P is the practice of having multiple partners?" to which she replied "Polyandry." "No. Polygamy." I queried the question later as it seemed close enough. But it turns out since polyandry is gender specific they couldn't allow it. A shame because otherwise we would have strung together 9 correct answers as we all answered our next question correctly! When it came round to me I put £100 in the kitty. Molly didn't bank and passed on the final question "In the 1970s Debbie Harry and Chris Stein formed which music duo?" She'd failed 2 questions, easy ones IMHO, and was evidently the weakest link. I was confident she was going to go.

Mary voted for Molly and vice versa. Tracey also voted for Mary. I'd kind of expected it as she and Molly had voted the same way in every round so far. It was evident they were in it together. Then Marlon revealed Mary's name as well which I hadn't expected. When Anne asked him about it he cited that Mary had voted for him in an earlier round. After 12 correct answers and 1 wrong one Mary had to do the walk of shame. It was apparent no one was safe!
Round 6 - The Injustice Continues...
Again I began the round as the strongest link (The effect of Anne saying this had kind of worn off by now!) With no Mary our correct answer quota significantly decreased. We started off well with me and Molly answering our questions correctly but then Tracey dropped the ball on a geography question losing the £50 we'd built up. It was particularly frustrating as I knew the answer was Argentina and as she asked for the question to be repeated precious time trickled away. Marlon got one right before Anne asked me "Which Greek word beginning with K translates into modern day English to mean 'well done'?" At first I thought Eureka, but that doesn't begin with K, and doesn't really mean well done either so much as "I've got it" Unfortunately I didn't have a Eureka moment and desperately guessed "Kappa?" "No. Kudos." That annoyed me. It was one of those non-words which you've heard of but never actually use! Despite my slip-up I was once again the strongest link, as Molly got 2 wrong, and Tracey got another wrong (and asked for yet another to be repeated) as did Marlon on a question that was literally Peanuts.
We'd banked a petty £20 that round and answered 5/11 questions correctly. At this point in the game, the final 4, Anne always uses personalized remarks to suggest who should be voted off. "Should Molly cheese off? Is Tracey not able to deliver? Has Marlon lost his cool? Or does Dinos not add up? Time to vote off The Weakest Link!" I was in dangerous territory here. I knew Molly and Tracey would try and get rid of either me or Marlon. Our only hope was if Marlon and I both voted off the same person to tie the vote. If I'd known Mary was going to get voted off in the round before I'd have struck up an alliance with Marlon in the break preceding her departure. If only I had a Tardis! As Tracey had asked for a few questions to be repeated she stuck out to me as the weakest in that round so I put her name down, and hoped Marlon might do the same. Before the votes were revealed we had another short break. The studio felt very empty now. We admitted that round had gone terribly. The prize money was a paltry £1080 and I suggested from now on we should bank after every correct answer to secure as much money as possible. Then we were back up on our podiums to reveal the vote. At that point I caught a glimpse of Anne's monitor which already had on it the pre-amble for the next round "You've voted off the strongest link from the last round so we'll start with the 2nd-strongest..." I felt a sudden sense of dread which would soon be confirmed...

Molly turned over her board "Dinos." Then Tracey "Dinos." followed by Marlon "Dinos." As the strongest link I'd been gazumped! Glumly I revealed my vote "Tracey"
Anne fighting my corner!
Anne proceeded to ask the others why they'd voted for me:
Anne: Marlon, do you really think Dinos was the weakest link?
Marlon: Ummm well we were all pretty awful that round. I think we're all as bad as each other really.
Anne: So it's not that you're scared you can't take him in the final?
Marlon: (squirming) Well no. I just noticed he got one wrong, and erm... he's closest to me (looks to his immediate right where Tracey is standing) ...erm actually no he isn't!
Anne: Tracey, why Dinos?
Tracey: He got one wrong and voted for me in an earlier round.
Anne: Very fishy. Because Dinos of course was the best player.
Then Anne turned to me, and it was my turn to hear the words "Dinos, you are the weakest link. Goodbye!"
It was over! I smiled through the walk of shame and was subsequently de-miked offset. Straight away the runners started telling me what a grand job they thought I did and that I was totally robbed. Something I was to hear from friends and family ad nauseam after the show was transmitted! One of the runners walked me down a corridor to another part of the studio where they would record my post-mortem interview. As we waited for Mary to finish her post-mortem she heard through her earpiece that the girls had voted Marlon off next. No surprises there! Here are the stats from round 7:

Post-Mortem Interview
Mary emerged from her post-mortem interview very surprised to see me. "Oh no. I thought you were going to win it!" she said, as I told her what had happened. As I walked into the post mortem room it was a bit like a photographer's studio, with one of those umbrella things and a blue The Weakest Link backdrop. You sit down and there's a mike attached to the floor just out of sight. The interviewer asks about 15 questions on a variety of things such as: How does it feel to win/be voted off at this stage/do the walk of shame? Who do you think will/should win/go off next? What was it like to meet Anne? etc. You have to look at the interviewer, not the camera, and answer each question so as to include the question within your answer, eg I didn't deserve to be voted off because... On TV they cut this down to just the 1 or 2 that come out best. In my segment they used my response to "What was it like to meet Anne?" I'd refined my cheesy joke from the audition:
"It was fantastic meeting Anne. I think she really felt attracted to me, and my choice of degree. I could feel the chemistry between us, and there was definitely a bond there."
When I came out Marlon was there, furious that he'd been voted off. In his post-mortem he said that none of them deserved the money and it should've been his! As the runner walked me back down to the green room, she said the girls had done rubbish after I left, answering 1 correct each in their final round and the prize money was a mere £1220:

The Final
I just got down to the green room in time to watch the grand finale of the show, the question penalty shoot-out. The girls each got 1 question correct and 4 incorrect. This was my favourite part:
Anne: Tracey, which 17th century scientist demonstrated the spectrum and furthered advances in Calculus?
Tracey: Calcula?
Anne: No. Isaac Newton.
So it went down to sudden death. Tracey clinched victory on the first question, making her today's "Strongest Link" (Yeah right!) while Molly left with nothing. Then Anne brought our finest hour to an end, closing with her trademark wink: "Join us again for The Weakest Link. Goodbye."
The Aftermath
As soon as we were all back in the green room we congratulated Tracey on her win. Regardless of who was the cleverest she'd played the game well. The expense co-ordinator wrote out Tracey her cheque and reimbursed all of us for meals and taxis and such. Then straight away our taxis had arrived to take us back to the station. They wanted us out of there as they were to start filming the next episode in just 15 minutes! I had but a few fleeting moments to get contact details from people so I could keep in touch, and make sure I had all my stuff. Myself, Marlon and one of the stand-ins bungled into one of the taxis with all our bags. Immediately I rang Emma to let her know how I'd done. Needless to say she was thrilled. Despite being silly enough to vote me off Marlon was a nice guy. As a London newbie he helped me navigate the London underground with a magnificent 'mod' map which he gave me, as well as a badge and a CD of his band. I had a while to wait at London St Pancras so I looked round the funny, expensive shops they have down South. Eventually I was on the train back home with time to reflect on the days events. I'd had a fantastic time!
More Stats!
Here are the overall stats detailing each player's performance. I particularly like the data in row 8, column 8.

As if that weren't enough I found a study into banking strategy on The Weakest Link (thanks Phil) written by some college boffins which had experimental data on 100s of Weakest Link episodes. Among the data I found the average probability in each round of getting a question right. I've applied these probabilities to my show to see how many questions you would expect each player to get right, given the number of questions they answered in each round. I've compared these to the actual number of given correct answers in a linear fashion to establish a sort of General Knowledge IQ score for each player where 100 is average. Congratulations to Mary who has a top player IQ score of 147.5! I came 3rd with 123.4. Surprised to say I was beaten by Marlon, but then come to think about it his questions seemed a bit easier than the norm....

Banking strategy
In the study I found, they established a general rule of thumb where it is optimal in the first 4 rounds to bank whenever the chain money reaches £200 and in the final 4 rounds to bank after every correct answer. If we had adopted this approach as a team our prize money would have increased by a total of £460. The optimal take home sum ie If we'd banked just before every incorrect answer would have been £3310, but of course there is no telling which questions you are going to get wrong!
Summary
So that brings to an end my Weakest Link Experience. Thank you for reading and if anyone out there is thinking of applying for the show, my advice is go for it! Its a fantastic experience and you'll have nothing to lose (except possibly national televised humiliation), and you could win up to £10,000! And if you're serious about winning don't piss anyone off and remember to make an alliance!
The End.
