Thread Of Random (for Marc)

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Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Thu Jul 28, 2016 3:54 pm

I think there may have been incarnations of this thread before, but let's have a new one anyway. Primarily it can act as a repository for any of Marc's Mad Thoughts And Observations, but the rest of us can use it too. Post any old rubbish, it doesn't need to relate to anything.

I'll kick things off with a fairly pitch-perfect piss-take of US comic book adverts from the 1950s:

Image

I've got scans of loads of old US comics and keep meaning to dig some of the real adverts out (the public service ones were especially funny in the 50s).

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:49 am

It's only right that I should post next.
Thanks Jim.
I will pitch my idea for a sitcom.
A timely history of briefs.
The premise is an Alien Race need to abduct Stephen Hawking in the nineteen seventies to solve a problem on their planet. They accidently abduct an underpants salesman called Stevie Hawkins.
Realising their error they return him back only Forty years has elapsed and he hasn't aged but his son is older than him.....he starts a search for his wife and a way of going back in time
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Sat Jul 30, 2016 7:41 pm

Marc Meakin wrote:The premise is an Alien Race need to abduct Stephen Hawking in the nineteen seventies to solve a problem on their planet. They accidently abduct an underpants salesman called Stevie Hawkins.
Realising their error they return him back only Forty years has elapsed and he hasn't aged but his son is older than him.....he starts a search for his wife and a way of going back in time
This sounds like the film that Homer pitched to Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. Is there a talking pie involved?

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Johnny Canuck » Sat Jul 30, 2016 10:12 pm

Jupiter's volcanic moon, Io, is just a celestial body with acne.
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Thomas Carey » Sun Jul 31, 2016 12:42 pm

Johnny Canuck wrote:Jupiter's volcanic moon, Io, is just a celestial body with acne.
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Sat Aug 13, 2016 8:04 pm

I'm sure most of you remember that "don't drink and drive" advert of a few years back, which used Mungo Jerry's "In the Summertime" ("have a drink have a drive, go out and see what you can find") which initially seemed incongruous until the advert did the reveal at the end. I thought it was a really effective campaign, although whether or not it was (not having the stats to hand), I'm unsure. But whatever.

The only reason I'm writing this is because confused.com's current adverts are using Marc Bolan's music (specifically, "Get It On" on the ones I've seen, but I'm reliably informed that "Ride A White Swan" features on others). As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Sun Aug 14, 2016 8:22 am

Would that be like Rory Linear making a Buckaroo advert .
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Ian Volante » Mon Aug 15, 2016 12:22 pm

Marc Meakin wrote:Would that be like Rory Linear making a Buckaroo advert .
Needs some explanation. This chap has no obvious ironic associations that would make your comment clear! http://www.whitepages.com/name/Rory-M-L ... CA/8z1xd56
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Mon Aug 15, 2016 1:04 pm

K
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Mon Aug 15, 2016 2:23 pm

Ian Volante wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:Would that be like Rory Linear making a Buckaroo advert .
Needs some explanation. This chap has no obvious ironic associations that would make your comment clear! http://www.whitepages.com/name/Rory-M-L ... CA/8z1xd56
Roy Kinnear. Chubby comic actor fella out of the 1970s and 80s who died (in about 1987 or so) after some sort of horse-related mishap when shooting some film or other.

That reminds me, I must get back to work on the Vaguipedia.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Ian Volante » Mon Aug 15, 2016 2:37 pm

JimBentley wrote:
Ian Volante wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:Would that be like Rory Linear making a Buckaroo advert .
Needs some explanation. This chap has no obvious ironic associations that would make your comment clear! http://www.whitepages.com/name/Rory-M-L ... CA/8z1xd56
Roy Kinnear. Chubby comic actor fella out of the 1970s and 80s who died (in about 1987 or so) after some sort of horse-related mishap when shooting some film or other.

That reminds me, I must get back to work on the Vaguipedia.
I did think it might have been a Roy Kinnear reference, but the horse episode hadn't made its way into my background knowledge of 1970s actors until now.

EDIT: Just looked it up, and I'm guessing that Linear was an autocorrect rather than a comedic misspelling, and that Rory was intentional, as that's Roy's son. Things you learn eh?
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:29 am

I like it when people work things out for themselves.
Maybe everyone should post what theier auto correct name is
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:06 pm

Probably the wrong thread but congratulations to Brett for winning the Scrabble world championship and commiserations to Mark Human....of Countdown fame
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Johnny Canuck » Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:13 pm

Marc Meakin wrote:Probably the wrong thread but congratulations to Brett for winning the Scrabble world championship and commiserations to Mark Human....of Countdown fame
Autocorrect, or some obscure pre-Apterous-era in-joke I don't get?
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Gavin Chipper » Sun Sep 04, 2016 7:20 pm

Johnny Canuck wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:Probably the wrong thread but congratulations to Brett for winning the Scrabble world championship and commiserations to Mark Human....of Countdown fame
Autocorrect, or some obscure pre-Apterous-era in-joke I don't get?
Most Scrabble champions are largely robots nowadays. Mark is seen as a bit of a relic because his brain is entirely devoid of silicon.

But because they're optimised for word games, if they ever play Countdown they can't do the numbers.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Sun Sep 04, 2016 8:44 pm

Craig Beavers ?
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Mon Sep 05, 2016 12:14 pm

There are,two types of people.
Those who check their posts for auto correct related errors and those who don't.
Sad to hear the chap who invented auto correct died the other day, his funfare is next wedlock
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Johnny Canuck » Mon Sep 05, 2016 2:32 pm

Marc Meakin wrote:Sad to hear the chap who invented auto correct died the other day, his funfare is next wedlock
Restaurant in peaches!
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Mon Sep 05, 2016 3:36 pm

May good have Mercedes on his soup
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Tue Sep 06, 2016 12:44 am

I had the pleasure of playing Paul (Tranmere) Thompson at a scrabble tournament over the weekend.
Is he the same man on this forum years ago known as Zef ?
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:05 am

Marc Meakin wrote:I had the pleasure of playing Paul (Tranmere) Thompson at a scrabble tournament over the weekend.
Is he the same man on this forum years ago known as Zef ?
He is indeed, Marc! How is the old fella?

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Tue Sep 06, 2016 11:27 am

Rather deaf and very ponderous, he went nearly ten minutes over time , so with the time faults I beat him comfortably.
Apropos of nothing in particular, he told me to be careful what I say on the internet as it can get you in trouble.
The scrabble community treat him with kid gloves , he had his own table to play on
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Zarte Siempre » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:14 pm

JimBentley wrote:As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?
Car crass?
Possibly the first contestant to accelerate with a mic clipped...

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:17 pm

Zarte Siempre wrote:
JimBentley wrote:As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?
Car crass?
When do we get "likes" back? I seem to remember Charlie saying that there was a reason why we couldn't have them back but frankly I've completely forgotten what it was.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Gavin Chipper » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:34 pm

Zarte Siempre wrote:
JimBentley wrote:As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?
Car crass?
And he became a carcass.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Gavin Chipper » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:49 pm

Gavin Chipper wrote:
Zarte Siempre wrote:
JimBentley wrote:As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?
Car crass?
And he became a carcass.
Poor Marc(us).

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:56 pm

Gavin Chipper wrote:Poor Marc(us).
Mark. His real name was Mark Feld.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Zarte Siempre » Tue Sep 06, 2016 11:16 pm

JimBentley wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:Poor Marc(us).
Mark. His real name was Mark Feld.
Feld. Like the tree was.
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Tue Sep 06, 2016 11:47 pm

Zarte Siempre wrote:
JimBentley wrote:
Gavin Chipper wrote:Poor Marc(us).
Mark. His real name was Mark Feld.
Feld. Like the tree was.
Ahhhh, but it wasn't! The car was a write-off and Gloria got out pretty much OK but the tree is still standing.

Your pop knowledge is sadly lacking.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Wed Sep 07, 2016 6:42 am

I remember the song now.....Drive a yellow Mini at an old Oak tree
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Wed Sep 07, 2016 6:44 am

Maybe this thread should be changed to thread of Bolan (for Marc )
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Zarte Siempre » Wed Sep 07, 2016 2:10 pm

JimBentley wrote:[Your pop knowledge is sadly lacking.
It's not lacking, I just thought it was a good joke. "Unlike the tree" sounded stupid, so I thought I'd make a joke for the lowest common denominator and not for you. Stop ruining other people's fun. Twat.
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Wed Sep 07, 2016 8:43 pm

What favourite film landmarks have you visited.
Mine is the steps of Grand Central Station in Chicago, famous for the baby carriage scene from The Untouchables.
Although blatantly ripped off from the Eisenstein classic battleship Potemkin, it still is a great scene
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Wed Sep 07, 2016 9:10 pm

Zarte Siempre wrote:I just thought it was a good joke.
Wasn't though, was it? You'll need to do better than that if you want to climb the ladder of amusing c4c posters (a list that only exists in my head and to be quite honest I sort of lost track of it at some point; Fred Mumford used to be up top but he seems to have disappeared now).

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Zarte Siempre » Wed Sep 07, 2016 11:09 pm

Fuck off trying to bait me. Just cause you can still climb a ladder.
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Gavin Chipper » Wed Sep 07, 2016 11:42 pm

Zarte Siempre wrote:Fuck off trying to bait me. Just cause you can still climb a ladder.
I'm sure there's a Marc Meakin joke about a step ladder in there somewhere. After all it is his thread.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Thu Sep 08, 2016 12:24 am

Zarte Siempre wrote:Fuck off trying to bait me. Just cause you can still climb a ladder.
But baiting you is so easy! And as you know, I only do easy things, because I can't do difficult ones.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Thu Sep 08, 2016 8:52 am

:D At least he never said that you'd never make a stand up comedian.
Only ladder joke I know is. It's not my real ladder its my step ladder
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Mon Sep 12, 2016 1:31 pm

As it is Monday I thought I would ask this :
HWM NYFY WLLNDS TNDTHS ?
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Thomas Carey » Mon Sep 12, 2016 1:44 pm

Marc Meakin wrote:As it is Monday I thought I would ask this :
HWM NYFY WLLNDS TNDTHS ?
tls tn
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Mon Sep 12, 2016 2:12 pm

Took me a minute or two to get that
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Gavin Chipper » Mon Sep 12, 2016 2:37 pm

Marc Meakin wrote::D At least he never said that you'd never make a stand up comedian.
Only ladder joke I know is. It's not my real ladder its my step ladder
I was thinking of this!

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Graeme Cole » Mon Sep 12, 2016 3:19 pm

Marc Meakin wrote:As it is Monday I thought I would ask this :
HWM NYFY WLLNDS TNDTHS ?
HWM NY HV SPTT DTHT YMSSD T N R?

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Mon Sep 12, 2016 4:56 pm

Graeme Cole wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:As it is Monday I thought I would ask this :
HWM NYFY WLLNDS TNDTHS ?
HWM NY HV SPTT DTHT YMSSD T N R?
YSR LSDTH TNWRRLYC HCKMYP STSFRRRS
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Mon Sep 12, 2016 4:58 pm

Gavin Chipper wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote::D At least he never said that you'd never make a stand up comedian.
Only ladder joke I know is. It's not my real ladder its my step ladder
I was thinking of this!
That was during my blue period.
I am clearly in a yellow period now
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Tue Sep 13, 2016 8:19 am

I thought on Road Dahl's 100th Birthday I thought I would start a sub thread on your favourite children's book.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was my favourite as a child.
I loved reading Holes to my children and I've yet to see a film adaptation of a book better than the one they did for it.

Also fondly remember Dr Seuss books and the illustrated fable The King, The Mice and the Cheese.
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Thu Sep 22, 2016 4:54 pm

After nearly choking to death whilst eating hearts for tea, I was wondering about various apt ways of dying like Jeremy Clarkson getting killed by a caravan .....over to you
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Gavin Chipper » Thu Sep 22, 2016 5:24 pm

Dying of a heart attack while eating throats.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Thu Sep 22, 2016 6:05 pm

Marc Meakin wrote:After nearly choking to death whilst eating hearts for tea, I was wondering about various apt ways of dying like Jeremy Clarkson getting killed by a caravan .....over to you
I think we need look no further than Alanis Morissette for advice on this issue (as I think we can substitute "apt" for "ironic", if I'm reading you right) and she is, after all, the master (mistress?) of irony. I've emailed her (alanis.morissette@hotmail.com..) and here's her response:

"Who are you? Why are you asking me these stupid questions? Now fuck off, I've got money to count."

So she wasn't much help.

But I've got some! Historical ones, anyway:

- Jim Fixx, who popularised regular jogging as a means of getting fit, died whilst jogging at the age of 52;

- Jimi Heselden, the owner of the Segway company at the time, drove his own Segway off a cliff and subsequently died of his injuries;

- Eugene Aserinsky, one of the pioneers of sleep research, died as a result of his driving his car into a tree, whilst asleep at the wheel of his car.

I'll try to think of some more current ones soon, I'm sure (now you've planted the seed of the idea in my head), but you know, it's all a bit morbid, isn't it?

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Gavin Chipper » Thu Sep 22, 2016 7:07 pm

Denham Harman, pioneer of ageing research, died aged 98 (I'm going with old age).

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Mark Deeks » Thu Sep 22, 2016 7:27 pm

Eoin Monaghan wrote:
He may not be liked on here, but you have to give some credit to Mark

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:15 pm

As a sort of antithesis to the really obvious thread.
I wanted to start a thread on telly bullshit things you thought were true.
Here are two
All the gold ever excavated can fit inside two double decker buses
Bob Holness payed saxophone on Baker Street
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Gavin Chipper » Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:08 pm

Countdown is live. (Actually, has anyone ever thought that?)

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Johnny Canuck » Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:16 pm

We've already done something similar to the "bullshit things you thought were true" here, although I guess only the first two words truly apply for most of the things in that thread.

In Grade 4, I did a presentation based on the senses for science, and included a map of the tongue showing which areas predominantly detected each of the five basic tastes. In fact, all parts of the tongue detect tastes equally and I think the scientific community already accepted that at the time they were teaching us the tongue-map theory.

Then again, my school was small and in a semi-rural area, and most of the teachers "didn't know any better" on a lot of matters -- for example, they gave us spelling tests that were based on worksheets made in the US without a second thought. I was once marked wrong for writing "lustre" with -re rather than -er on a spelling test and challenged the mark; the matter ended up going all the way to the vice-principal.
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Mon Sep 26, 2016 9:59 pm

Gavin Chipper wrote:Countdown is live. (Actually, has anyone ever thought that?)
I used to think the Sunday Strictly Come Dancing was live instead of being recorded after voting closes on the Saturday night
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Mark James » Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:37 pm

Marc Meakin wrote: All the gold ever excavated can fit inside two double decker buses
Never heard of it in relation to buses. The fact I've always heard was Olympic swimming pools and with a little research it seems that all the gold ever mined can fit in about three Olympic sized pools.

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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Marc Meakin » Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:39 am

What's the one song on your playlist that you would have to quickly skip if it was,randomly selected on speaker mode.
Mine would be Young Girl by Gary Puxket
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JimBentley
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by JimBentley » Wed Sep 28, 2016 10:51 am

Marc Meakin wrote:What's the one song on your playlist that you would have to quickly skip if it was,randomly selected on speaker mode.
Mine would be Young Girl by Gary Puxket
"Young girl, get out of my mind..." etc. by Gary Puckett &The Union Gap? It's a classic! Philistine.

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Jon O'Neill
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Jon O'Neill » Wed Sep 28, 2016 12:32 pm

JimBentley wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:What's the one song on your playlist that you would have to quickly skip if it was,randomly selected on speaker mode.
Mine would be Young Girl by Gary Puxket
"Young girl, get out of my mind..." etc. by Gary Puckett &The Union Gap? It's a classic! Philistine.
Great song. Iffy suibject matter.

Mine would probably be something from the entire works (including unreleased songs, B-sides and remixes) of Enya.

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Mark James
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Re: Thread Of Random (for Marc)

Post by Mark James » Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:16 pm

Marc Meakin wrote:What's the one song on your playlist that you would have to quickly skip if it was,randomly selected on speaker mode.
Mine would be Young Girl by Gary Puxket
I have a lot of comedy on my iPod. Would probably have to skip Doug Stanhope's tit wank joke. Wouldn't be the most appropriate thing to broadcast in public.

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