Thread Of Random (for Marc)

[JimBentley]

I think there may have been incarnations of this thread before, but let's have a new one anyway. Primarily it can act as a repository for any of Marc's Mad Thoughts And Observations, but the rest of us can use it too. Post any old rubbish, it doesn't need to relate to anything.

I'll kick things off with a fairly pitch-perfect piss-take of US comic book adverts from the 1950s:



I've got scans of loads of old US comics and keep meaning to dig some of the real adverts out (the public service ones were especially funny in the 50s).

[Marc Meakin]

It's only right that I should post next.
Thanks Jim.
I will pitch my idea for a sitcom.
A timely history of briefs.
The premise is an Alien Race need to abduct Stephen Hawking in the nineteen seventies to solve a problem on their planet. They accidently abduct an underpants salesman called Stevie Hawkins.
Realising their error they return him back only Forty years has elapsed and he hasn't aged but his son is older than him.....he starts a search for his wife and a way of going back in time

[JimBentley]

The premise is an Alien Race need to abduct Stephen Hawking in the nineteen seventies to solve a problem on their planet. They accidently abduct an underpants salesman called Stevie Hawkins.
Realising their error they return him back only Forty years has elapsed and he hasn't aged but his son is older than him.....he starts a search for his wife and a way of going back in time

This sounds like the film that Homer pitched to Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. Is there a talking pie involved?

[Johnny Canuck]

Jupiter's volcanic moon, Io, is just a celestial body with acne.

[Thomas Carey]

Jupiter's volcanic moon, Io, is just a celestial body with acne.

me

[JimBentley]

I'm sure most of you remember that "don't drink and drive" advert of a few years back, which used Mungo Jerry's "In the Summertime" ("have a drink have a drive, go out and see what you can find") which initially seemed incongruous until the advert did the reveal at the end. I thought it was a really effective campaign, although whether or not it was (not having the stats to hand), I'm unsure. But whatever.

The only reason I'm writing this is because confused.com's current adverts are using Marc Bolan's music (specifically, "Get It On" on the ones I've seen, but I'm reliably informed that "Ride A White Swan" features on others). As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?

[Marc Meakin]

Would that be like Rory Linear making a Buckaroo advert .

[Ian Volante]

Would that be like Rory Linear making a Buckaroo advert .

Needs some explanation. This chap has no obvious ironic associations that would make your comment clear! http://www.whitepages.com/name/Rory-M-L ... CA/8z1xd56

[Marc Meakin]

K

[JimBentley]

Would that be like Rory Linear making a Buckaroo advert .

Needs some explanation. This chap has no obvious ironic associations that would make your comment clear! http://www.whitepages.com/name/Rory-M-L ... CA/8z1xd56

Roy Kinnear. Chubby comic actor fella out of the 1970s and 80s who died (in about 1987 or so) after some sort of horse-related mishap when shooting some film or other.

That reminds me, I must get back to work on the Vaguipedia.

[Ian Volante]

Would that be like Rory Linear making a Buckaroo advert .

Needs some explanation. This chap has no obvious ironic associations that would make your comment clear! http://www.whitepages.com/name/Rory-M-L ... CA/8z1xd56

Roy Kinnear. Chubby comic actor fella out of the 1970s and 80s who died (in about 1987 or so) after some sort of horse-related mishap when shooting some film or other.

That reminds me, I must get back to work on the Vaguipedia.

I did think it might have been a Roy Kinnear reference, but the horse episode hadn't made its way into my background knowledge of 1970s actors until now.

EDIT: Just looked it up, and I'm guessing that Linear was an autocorrect rather than a comedic misspelling, and that Rory was intentional, as that's Roy's son. Things you learn eh?

[Marc Meakin]

I like it when people work things out for themselves.
Maybe everyone should post what theier auto correct name is

[Marc Meakin]

Probably the wrong thread but congratulations to Brett for winning the Scrabble world championship and commiserations to Mark Human....of Countdown fame

[Johnny Canuck]

Probably the wrong thread but congratulations to Brett for winning the Scrabble world championship and commiserations to Mark Human....of Countdown fame

Autocorrect, or some obscure pre-Apterous-era in-joke I don't get?

[Gavin Chipper]

Probably the wrong thread but congratulations to Brett for winning the Scrabble world championship and commiserations to Mark Human....of Countdown fame

Autocorrect, or some obscure pre-Apterous-era in-joke I don't get?

Most Scrabble champions are largely robots nowadays. Mark is seen as a bit of a relic because his brain is entirely devoid of silicon.

But because they're optimised for word games, if they ever play Countdown they can't do the numbers.

[Marc Meakin]

Craig Beavers ?

[Marc Meakin]

There are,two types of people.
Those who check their posts for auto correct related errors and those who don't.
Sad to hear the chap who invented auto correct died the other day, his funfare is next wedlock

[Johnny Canuck]

Sad to hear the chap who invented auto correct died the other day, his funfare is next wedlock

Restaurant in peaches!

[Marc Meakin]

May good have Mercedes on his soup

[Marc Meakin]

I had the pleasure of playing Paul (Tranmere) Thompson at a scrabble tournament over the weekend.
Is he the same man on this forum years ago known as Zef ?

[JimBentley]

I had the pleasure of playing Paul (Tranmere) Thompson at a scrabble tournament over the weekend.
Is he the same man on this forum years ago known as Zef ?

He is indeed, Marc! How is the old fella?

[Marc Meakin]

Rather deaf and very ponderous, he went nearly ten minutes over time , so with the time faults I beat him comfortably.
Apropos of nothing in particular, he told me to be careful what I say on the internet as it can get you in trouble.
The scrabble community treat him with kid gloves , he had his own table to play on

[Zarte Siempre]

As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?

Car crass?

[JimBentley]

As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?

Car crass?

When do we get "likes" back? I seem to remember Charlie saying that there was a reason why we couldn't have them back but frankly I've completely forgotten what it was.

[Gavin Chipper]

As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?

Car crass?

And he became a carcass.

[Gavin Chipper]

As probably the highest-profile musician to die in a car crash, am I the only one who thinks that this is a little bit crass?

Car crass?

And he became a carcass.

Poor Marc(us).

[JimBentley]

Poor Marc(us).

Mark. His real name was Mark Feld.

[Zarte Siempre]

Poor Marc(us).

Mark. His real name was Mark Feld.

Feld. Like the tree was.

[JimBentley]

Poor Marc(us).

Mark. His real name was Mark Feld.

Feld. Like the tree was.

Ahhhh, but it wasn't! The car was a write-off and Gloria got out pretty much OK but the tree is still standing.

Your pop knowledge is sadly lacking.

[Marc Meakin]

I remember the song now.....Drive a yellow Mini at an old Oak tree

[Marc Meakin]

Maybe this thread should be changed to thread of Bolan (for Marc )

[Zarte Siempre]

[Your pop knowledge is sadly lacking.

It's not lacking, I just thought it was a good joke. "Unlike the tree" sounded stupid, so I thought I'd make a joke for the lowest common denominator and not for you. Stop ruining other people's fun. Twat.

[Marc Meakin]

What favourite film landmarks have you visited.
Mine is the steps of Grand Central Station in Chicago, famous for the baby carriage scene from The Untouchables.
Although blatantly ripped off from the Eisenstein classic battleship Potemkin, it still is a great scene

[JimBentley]

I just thought it was a good joke.

Wasn't though, was it? You'll need to do better than that if you want to climb the ladder of amusing c4c posters (a list that only exists in my head and to be quite honest I sort of lost track of it at some point; Fred Mumford used to be up top but he seems to have disappeared now).

[Zarte Siempre]

Fuck off trying to bait me. Just cause you can still climb a ladder.

[Gavin Chipper]

Fuck off trying to bait me. Just cause you can still climb a ladder.

I'm sure there's a Marc Meakin joke about a step ladder in there somewhere. After all it is his thread.

[JimBentley]

Fuck off trying to bait me. Just cause you can still climb a ladder.

But baiting you is so easy! And as you know, I only do easy things, because I can't do difficult ones.

[Marc Meakin]

At least he never said that you'd never make a stand up comedian.
Only ladder joke I know is. It's not my real ladder its my step ladder

[Marc Meakin]

As it is Monday I thought I would ask this :
HWM NYFY WLLNDS TNDTHS ?

[Thomas Carey]

As it is Monday I thought I would ask this :
HWM NYFY WLLNDS TNDTHS ?

tls tn

[Marc Meakin]

Took me a minute or two to get that

[Gavin Chipper]

At least he never said that you'd never make a stand up comedian.
Only ladder joke I know is. It's not my real ladder its my step ladder

I was thinking of this!

[Graeme Cole]

As it is Monday I thought I would ask this :
HWM NYFY WLLNDS TNDTHS ?

HWM NY HV SPTT DTHT YMSSD T N R?

[Marc Meakin]

As it is Monday I thought I would ask this :
HWM NYFY WLLNDS TNDTHS ?

HWM NY HV SPTT DTHT YMSSD T N R?

YSR LSDTH TNWRRLYC HCKMYP STSFRRRS

[Marc Meakin]

At least he never said that you'd never make a stand up comedian.
Only ladder joke I know is. It's not my real ladder its my step ladder

I was thinking of this!

That was during my blue period.
I am clearly in a yellow period now

[Marc Meakin]

I thought on Road Dahl's 100th Birthday I thought I would start a sub thread on your favourite children's book.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was my favourite as a child.
I loved reading Holes to my children and I've yet to see a film adaptation of a book better than the one they did for it.

Also fondly remember Dr Seuss books and the illustrated fable The King, The Mice and the Cheese.

[Marc Meakin]

After nearly choking to death whilst eating hearts for tea, I was wondering about various apt ways of dying like Jeremy Clarkson getting killed by a caravan .....over to you

[Gavin Chipper]

Dying of a heart attack while eating throats.

[JimBentley]

After nearly choking to death whilst eating hearts for tea, I was wondering about various apt ways of dying like Jeremy Clarkson getting killed by a caravan .....over to you

I think we need look no further than Alanis Morissette for advice on this issue (as I think we can substitute "apt" for "ironic", if I'm reading you right) and she is, after all, the master (mistress?) of irony. I've emailed her (alanis.morissette@hotmail.com..) and here's her response:

"Who are you? Why are you asking me these stupid questions? Now fuck off, I've got money to count."

So she wasn't much help.

But I've got some! Historical ones, anyway:

- Jim Fixx, who popularised regular jogging as a means of getting fit, died whilst jogging at the age of 52;

- Jimi Heselden, the owner of the Segway company at the time, drove his own Segway off a cliff and subsequently died of his injuries;

- Eugene Aserinsky, one of the pioneers of sleep research, died as a result of his driving his car into a tree, whilst asleep at the wheel of his car.

I'll try to think of some more current ones soon, I'm sure (now you've planted the seed of the idea in my head), but you know, it's all a bit morbid, isn't it?

[Gavin Chipper]

Denham Harman, pioneer of ageing research, died aged 98 (I'm going with old age).

[Mark Deeks]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_i ... inventions

[Marc Meakin]

As a sort of antithesis to the really obvious thread.
I wanted to start a thread on telly bullshit things you thought were true.
Here are two
All the gold ever excavated can fit inside two double decker buses
Bob Holness payed saxophone on Baker Street

[Gavin Chipper]

Countdown is live. (Actually, has anyone ever thought that?)

[Johnny Canuck]

We've already done something similar to the "bullshit things you thought were true" here, although I guess only the first two words truly apply for most of the things in that thread.

In Grade 4, I did a presentation based on the senses for science, and included a map of the tongue showing which areas predominantly detected each of the five basic tastes. In fact, all parts of the tongue detect tastes equally and I think the scientific community already accepted that at the time they were teaching us the tongue-map theory.

Then again, my school was small and in a semi-rural area, and most of the teachers "didn't know any better" on a lot of matters -- for example, they gave us spelling tests that were based on worksheets made in the US without a second thought. I was once marked wrong for writing "lustre" with -re rather than -er on a spelling test and challenged the mark; the matter ended up going all the way to the vice-principal.

[Marc Meakin]

Countdown is live. (Actually, has anyone ever thought that?)

I used to think the Sunday Strictly Come Dancing was live instead of being recorded after voting closes on the Saturday night

[Mark James]

All the gold ever excavated can fit inside two double decker buses

Never heard of it in relation to buses. The fact I've always heard was Olympic swimming pools and with a little research it seems that all the gold ever mined can fit in about three Olympic sized pools.

[Marc Meakin]

What's the one song on your playlist that you would have to quickly skip if it was,randomly selected on speaker mode.
Mine would be Young Girl by Gary Puxket

[JimBentley]

What's the one song on your playlist that you would have to quickly skip if it was,randomly selected on speaker mode.
Mine would be Young Girl by Gary Puxket

"Young girl, get out of my mind..." etc. by Gary Puckett &The Union Gap? It's a classic! Philistine.

[Jon O'Neill]

What's the one song on your playlist that you would have to quickly skip if it was,randomly selected on speaker mode.
Mine would be Young Girl by Gary Puxket

"Young girl, get out of my mind..." etc. by Gary Puckett &The Union Gap? It's a classic! Philistine.

Great song. Iffy suibject matter.

Mine would probably be something from the entire works (including unreleased songs, B-sides and remixes) of Enya.

[Mark James]

What's the one song on your playlist that you would have to quickly skip if it was,randomly selected on speaker mode.
Mine would be Young Girl by Gary Puxket

I have a lot of comedy on my iPod. Would probably have to skip Doug Stanhope's tit wank joke. Wouldn't be the most appropriate thing to broadcast in public.