c4countdown

I've just come back from the Netherlands and while I was there, I was in an Indian/Nepalese restaurant. It was basically the same as an Indian restaurant here, except it wasn't very good. Anyway, I ordered a sag aloo for my main course and a peshwari naan. Except the waitress said that you can't have a peshwari naan if you order the sag aloo, but could only have a plain naan. What the fuck? I asked her why, but she didn't seem to have an answer. It made literally no sense. To be clear, this wasn't a "meal deal" I was doing where you get set things for a set price. Or if it was, no-one told me that I'd asked to be part of this meal deal, and there was no indication on the bill afterwards. I could have pressed her further, and probably should have done, for example by asking for a list of the main courses that would allow me to have a peshwari naan, telling her it's completely insane and that obviously I can order whatever I want from the menu, but I didn't. But that was fucking weird.

Was staying in a guest house in Athenry a couple of years ago in the run-up to a friend's wedding. Me and our lass woke up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason to discover that the curtains covering the small window in the wall high above our bed had been opened at some point since we went to sleep. That was weird.

I was recently shopping for some dinner for me & Ms Hatred in Tesco, and since she was back at home, I took a photo of the available frozen pizzas and texted it to her to get her opinion. Just at that moment, I heard some shouting but I had headphones in and, this being north London, random public shouting is pretty common, so I ignored it and went to check out the Sainsbury's next door. As I was about to leave the Tesco, the security guard blocked the doorway and, putting his face inches from mine, started shouting that I have no right to take photographs and something something something (I still had the headphones in). I have heard that supermarkets don't like people taking photos (because it makes price comparison easier) but I've seen the guards in the same Tesco just shrug when people actually steal the merchandise and run, so I thought it was pretty weird that they decided to make a big fuss about someone photographing a pizza. Anyway, I was well aware that he couldn't detain me for taking a photograph and didn't feel any need to justify myself, so I just shrugged and slipped past him, but it was still a weird experience.

I can see that it's slightly weird that Sainsbury's should be next door to Tesco, and fairly weird that you have to visit two shops and seek a second opinion before buying a frozen pizza, but I'm a bit lost as to the weirdness of anything else. Maybe the role of the headphones means you have misread something and you are recounting a wired experience.

David Williams wrote:I can see that it's slightly weird that Sainsbury's should be next door to Tesco, and fairly weird that you have to visit two shops and seek a second opinion before buying a frozen pizza, but I'm a bit lost as to the weirdness of anything else. Maybe the role of the headphones means you have misread something and you are recounting a wired experience.

If you live a life wherein people are frequently detained for pizza photography, you must have some great anecdotes for this thread.

I was minding my own business for several years using Facebook on the browser on my phone, when all of a sudden Facebook decided that I had to use their messenger app to view my messages. But just the messages. I can still use Facebook on my browser, but can't view my messages. This makes no sense. Why that rather than allowing me to use the browser apart from when viewing friend requests? Why doesn't it insist on me installing an app for viewing events? Absolutely stone-cold mental, I genuinely can't see any other description that applies.

Gavin Chipper wrote:I was minding my own business for several years using Facebook on the browser on my phone, when all of a sudden Facebook decided that I had to use their messenger app to view my messages. But just the messages. I can still use Facebook on my browser, but can't view my messages. This makes no sense. Why that rather than allowing me to use the browser apart from when viewing friend requests? Why doesn't it insist on me installing an app for viewing events? Absolutely stone-cold mental, I genuinely can't see any other description that applies.

Not saying it's a good move, cos it's probably not, but it's obviously to promote the Messenger app. To not be able to see that is, itself, stone-cold Steve mental.

Jon O'Neill wrote:

Gavin Chipper wrote:I was minding my own business for several years using Facebook on the browser on my phone, when all of a sudden Facebook decided that I had to use their messenger app to view my messages. But just the messages. I can still use Facebook on my browser, but can't view my messages. This makes no sense. Why that rather than allowing me to use the browser apart from when viewing friend requests? Why doesn't it insist on me installing an app for viewing events? Absolutely stone-cold mental, I genuinely can't see any other description that applies.

Not saying it's a good move, cos it's probably not, but it's obviously to promote the Messenger app. To not be able to see that is, itself, stone-cold Steve mental.

But why have a Messenger app, separate from Facebook itself? Why not have an app dedicated to friend requests?

It's also a really fucking intrusive app, and I've had to deselect all the options to make it less so.

Gavin Chipper wrote:

Jon O'Neill wrote:

Gavin Chipper wrote:I was minding my own business for several years using Facebook on the browser on my phone, when all of a sudden Facebook decided that I had to use their messenger app to view my messages. But just the messages. I can still use Facebook on my browser, but can't view my messages. This makes no sense. Why that rather than allowing me to use the browser apart from when viewing friend requests? Why doesn't it insist on me installing an app for viewing events? Absolutely stone-cold mental, I genuinely can't see any other description that applies.

Not saying it's a good move, cos it's probably not, but it's obviously to promote the Messenger app. To not be able to see that is, itself, stone-cold Steve mental.

But why have a Messenger app, separate from Facebook itself? Why not have an app dedicated to friend requests?

Facebook is obviously trying to differentiate Facebook from Messenger. I would imagine they don't see chat as a core feature of Facebook, unlike Friend Requests.

Gavin Chipper wrote:It's also a really fucking intrusive app, and I've had to deselect all the options to make it less so.

It is and always a clunky piece of shite, much like the Facebook app. If you don't like it don't use it. Stick it to Facebook by only using the Facebook-owned WhatsApp instead.

Jon O'Neill wrote:

Gavin Chipper wrote:It's also a really fucking intrusive app, and I've had to deselect all the options to make it less so.

It is and always a clunky piece of shite, much like the Facebook app. If you don't like it don't use it. Stick it to Facebook by only using the Facebook-owned WhatsApp instead.

But if someone sends me a message on Facebook (like I have done to you just now), would that come up on WhatsApp?

I haven't downloaded the Messenger app to chat to people. I've downloaded it so I can see if someone has sent me a message on Facebook or so that I can send one as part of a discussion that might have started when I was on my laptop.

Gavin Chipper wrote:

Jon O'Neill wrote:

Gavin Chipper wrote:It's also a really fucking intrusive app, and I've had to deselect all the options to make it less so.

It is and always a clunky piece of shite, much like the Facebook app. If you don't like it don't use it. Stick it to Facebook by only using the Facebook-owned WhatsApp instead.

But if someone sends me a message on Facebook (like I have done to you just now), would that come up on WhatsApp?

This is like having a conversation with my granddad. No, Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp are two distinct platforms (and probably will be for the forseeable future).

Jon O'Neill wrote:This is like having a conversation with my granddad. No, Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp are two distinct platforms (and probably will be for the forseeable future).

But that was my point. WhatsApp would be of no benefit. People send messages on Facebook, I want to be able to access these when I'm out.

Edit four years later - It was a fucking rhetorical question. This is like having a conversation with my granddad, and he's dead.

This thread has been dormant for too long.

When I was at primary school, I had to walk up the road to where my mum had parked the car. I think she would come to the school to meet us, but I would often go on ahead anyway. In any case I wasn't with any family members at this point. I was walking up the road, and in from of me was a girl from my class and her mum, and I think at least one of her brothers (whose time at the school overlapped). Their car was arrived at before our car, so they all stopped to get in. There were a few of them directly in front of me on the pavement, who all stopped to get in the car parked on the road next to that piece of pavement. So guess what? Yes, they were in my way. So guess what I had to do? Yes, I had to stop, and wait for them to get out of my way (i.e. into the car) before I could continue with my journey. But the mum (who must clearly be a complete lunatic - there can be no other explanation) started making fun of me (in a jokey way as she knew me as someone in her daughter's class) thinking that I was stopping to also get in their car. It was insane. Stone-cold mental. What did she think the "correct" course of action should have been for me? I'm still baffled by this.

Haha. I'm not at all surprised this is the sort of stuff that keeps you up at night.

How wide was the pavement? Was there grass on the other side of it, a wall, or what? Could you absolutely not have walked around the gathering children and absolutely definitely weren't making some kind of point?

So did you get into the car or not?

I imagine she thought "Oh God, it's that weird kid in my daughter's class, just standing there, waiting to get past. Should I just ignore him? Would that be rude? I've got to say something. But what?"

I reckon she still wakes up bolt upright in the middle of the night, sweating, and thinking of you trying to get into her.

One Wednesday nght, about 23 years ago, I needed to get to football practice in Buntingford, during my fabled stint as the finest ginger related-to-Barbara-Windsor centre back that the Cougars have ever seen. However, my dad's car was on the fritz, so we went by taxi. As I practiced for an hour, my dad sat there with the cabbie, shooting the shit and making friends. I think we even got a discount on the fare, but this may or may not be true. The guy took us home, friendly as you like, and said his goodbyes. A nice man, he was.

That cab driver's photo was on the front page of the following Friday morning's Royston Crow for crimes against children. Kinda worrying to think about how that evening could have panned out. Good parenting from my old man, even in the relatively unenlightened times of circa. 1996, to not drop his guard for a minute.

Also, around the same time, me and a couple of friends (I KNOW RIGHT!!!) were playing football up the park, having a knockaround at one of the portable five-a-side goals. A man (absolute Dave type) and his young lad of about our age started doing the same at the other goal. Conversation struck up, and we started playing a game. The three of us, despite having me in the team (and I'm just terrible at football), were running rings around then, and being obnoxious about it, in that way that you do when you're 11 or so. Dave was getting more and more cross. Then he snapped, grabbed me by the neck from behind, and shouted "I COULD FUCKING BREAK YOUR NECK". Then left.

I had forgotten all about this until just now. Damn.

Matt Morrison wrote: ↑Sat May 16, 2020 11:53 pm Haha. I'm not at all surprised this is the sort of stuff that keeps you up at night.

How wide was the pavement? Was there grass on the other side of it, a wall, or what? Could you absolutely not have walked around the gathering children and absolutely definitely weren't making some kind of point?

The pavement was normal pavement width. I can't remember exactly what would have been on the other side, but it's a residential area and there would have been houses with their gardens I imagine. Maybe a low wall - I dunno. And I definitely was not making some sort of point. If I was, I definitely would have said something about this stupid wrong assumption being made. As it was I didn't really do anything and sort of went along with it out of embarrassment.

Callum Todd wrote: ↑Sun May 17, 2020 10:11 am So did you get into the car or not?

Sure, if that makes the story better. Ended up having to ring my mum and get her to pick me up from this other house.

David Williams wrote: ↑Sun May 17, 2020 11:37 am I imagine she thought "Oh God, it's that weird kid in my daughter's class, just standing there, waiting to get past. Should I just ignore him? Would that be rude? I've got to say something. But what?"

She could have just said "Sorry Gevin, we'll be out of your way in a minute. Just got to get my stupid children in this car, you know."

Matt Morrison wrote: ↑Sun May 17, 2020 12:34 pm I reckon she still wakes up bolt upright in the middle of the night, sweating, and thinking of you trying to get into her.

Yeah, something like that.

Mark Deeks wrote: ↑Sun May 17, 2020 2:30 pm One Wednesday nght, about 23 years ago, I needed to get to football practice in Buntingford, during my fabled stint as the finest ginger related-to-Barbara-Windsor centre back that the Cougars have ever seen. However, my dad's car was on the fritz, so we went by taxi. As I practiced for an hour, my dad sat there with the cabbie, shooting the shit and making friends. I think we even got a discount on the fare, but this may or may not be true. The guy took us home, friendly as you like, and said his goodbyes. A nice man, he was.

That cab driver's photo was on the front page of the following Friday morning's Royston Crow for crimes against children. Kinda worrying to think about how that evening could have panned out. Good parenting from my old man, even in the relatively unenlightened times of circa. 1996, to not drop his guard for a minute.

Quite scary, though as you went with your dad, you probably weren't likely to be at any risk.

Mark Deeks wrote: ↑Sun May 17, 2020 2:36 pm Also, around the same time, me and a couple of friends (I KNOW RIGHT!!!) were playing football up the park, having a knockaround at one of the portable five-a-side goals. A man (absolute Dave type) and his young lad of about our age started doing the same at the other goal. Conversation struck up, and we started playing a game. The three of us, despite having me in the team (and I'm just terrible at football), were running rings around then, and being obnoxious about it, in that way that you do when you're 11 or so. Dave was getting more and more cross. Then he snapped, grabbed me by the neck from behind, and shouted "I COULD FUCKING BREAK YOUR NECK". Then left.

I had forgotten all about this until just now. Damn.

This is an excellent story, and I'm glad that this thread has reawoken this memory in you (assuming it was this thread). Did you ever see these people again? Were they local? When they'd left but were still just in earshot, you should have shouted something like "Yeah, well you'd probably break your own neck by mistake! Just like when you tried to score in our goal you scored in your own! Why should I believe you're any better at breaking necks than you are at football?"

We definitely shouted some things but it wasn't that. I remember then running home to tell my mum the story, not with fear, but almost with glee. She....saw it differently.

Gevin, you should shout at more people. For SURE.

I never knew that being called Dave was associated with such people.

Ian Volante wrote: ↑Mon May 18, 2020 8:23 am I never knew that being called Dave was associated with such people.

I genuinely misparsed this at first and wondered who "that being called Dave" was.