Spoilers for Tuesday, 7th April

[Ben Hunter]

Jonathan Ansell, stop looking at Susie's breasts.

[Mark Kudlowski]

1st numbers alt:

(25 + 5 - 2) x 4 x 6

[Chris Davies]

PINTAIL as a DC beater in whatever round it was (before the first numbers).

[Mark Kudlowski]

3rd numbers:

(75 x 10) + ((25 + 3) x 2)

[Phil Reynolds]

The conditions of the "win a teapot" viewer competition seem to have changed slightly. When Jeff announced it a few weeks ago, he said viewers were invited to submit limericks containing any of the names Stelling, Riley or Dent. I had a think about it, but gave up fairly quickly as the limerick form is a bit restrictive. On today's show, though, it had become "poems or limericks", and indeed the poem that Jeff read out wasn't a limerick.

[Andy Thomson]

Jonathan Ansell, stop looking at Susie's breasts.

Why?

[Hannah O]

Well, Phil, I recall that the poetry thread contains some masterful limericks involving the names, some of which are most likely yours! I'm sure that if anyone can win it, it'd be you and your poetry!

[Kathleen Batlle]

Good game today Fiona, but why didn't anyone spot CENSORED (round 12) or EMOTION (round 13)? Andrew was very brave to participate and I was pleased that no-one actually mentioned his obvious disability. It would have been nice to have seen him win the game, but at least he managed the conundrum, so did well on that score.

[Rosemary Roberts]

The conditions of the "win a teapot" viewer competition seem to have changed slightly. When Jeff announced it a few weeks ago, he said viewers were invited to submit limericks containing any of the names Stelling, Riley or Dent. I had a think about it, but gave up fairly quickly as the limerick form is a bit restrictive. On today's show, though, it had become "poems or limericks", and indeed the poem that Jeff read out wasn't a limerick.

It wasn't very brilliant, either, I thought. I was also discouraged by the restrictive limerick form. If any kind of poem will do I can do better than that, and maybe I will.

[Phil Reynolds]

Good game today Fiona, but why didn't anyone spot [...] EMOTION (round 13)?

How do you know nobody spotted it? Since the maximum was an 8 (MOTORIZE), there was no point in mentioning a random 7.

[Derek Hazell]

The conditions of the "win a teapot" viewer competition seem to have changed slightly. When Jeff announced it a few weeks ago, he said viewers were invited to submit limericks containing any of the names Stelling, Riley or Dent. I had a think about it, but gave up fairly quickly as the limerick form is a bit restrictive. On today's show, though, it had become "poems or limericks", and indeed the poem that Jeff read out wasn't a limerick.

IAWTP
Why not just stick to the original rules, and send up something like:
Of course we all know Susie Dent
for whom words are her main bent
then there's Jeff Stelling
who for figures is telling
Rachel Riley she is heaven sent

[Charlie Reams]

Why not just stick to the original rules, and send up something like:
Of course we all know Susie Dent
for whom words are her main bent
then there's Jeff Stelling
who for figures is telling
Rachel Riley she is heaven sent

I think you kinda answered your own question.

[Vikash Shah]

Why not just stick to the original rules, and send up something like:
Of course we all know Susie Dent
for whom words are her main bent
then there's Jeff Stelling
who for figures is telling
Rachel Riley she is heaven sent

I think you kinda answered your own question.

Mine were worse!

The Countdown Queen Rachel Riley
Joined the new team rated so highly
With such poise and style
She arranges those tiles
And looks so much hotter than Kylie!

The host of the show is Jeff Stelling
With Rachel and Susie he's gelling
He's obsessed with his nosh
And with all of his dosh
He can afford the new Baby Belling!

[Jon Corby]

Should I submit my Susie one?

[Louise Bambury]

[quote= It would have been nice to have seen him win the game, but at least he managed the conundrum, so did well on that score.[/quote]

Why would it have been nice to have seen him win a game, because he has a disability? how patronising is that?.

[Phil Reynolds]

Mine were worse!

The Countdown Queen Rachel Riley
Joined the new team rated so highly
With such poise and style
She arranges those tiles
And looks so much hotter than Kylie!

The host of the show is Jeff Stelling
With Rachel and Susie he's gelling
He's obsessed with his nosh
And with all of his dosh
He can afford the new Baby Belling!

The second one's not at all bad - gelling and Belling are quite good non-obvious rhymes for Stelling. The last line doesn't scan, and the (lack of) punctuation at first made me think you were saying that Jeff's obsessed with his dosh; but those niggles are easily fixed; something like:

The host of the show is Jeff Stelling
With Rachel and Susie he's gelling
He's obsessed with his nosh;
And, with all of his dosh,
He can pick up a new Baby Belling!

There you go. If you win, can I have half your teapot?

[Rosemary Roberts]

It would have been nice to have seen him win the game, but at least he managed the conundrum, so did well on that score.

Why would it have been nice to have seen him win a game, because he has a disability? how patronising is that?.

Are you saying that it wouldn't have been nice?

You seem to be more on the defensive than the guy himself. How patronising is that?

[Adam Dexter]

It would have been nice to have seen him win the game, but at least he managed the conundrum, so did well on that score.

Why would it have been nice to have seen him win a game, because he has a disability? how patronising is that?.

I don't think Kathleen was referring to the disability in this comment. I think that he was actually a stronger contestant, just couldn't do the numbers. Whether this means he should have won, I doubt, as numbers are an integral part of countdown, but he certainly was a good contestant and very likeable.

[/rant]

[Vikash Shah]

Mine were worse!

The Countdown Queen Rachel Riley
Joined the new team rated so highly
With such poise and style
She arranges those tiles
And looks so much hotter than Kylie!

The host of the show is Jeff Stelling
With Rachel and Susie he's gelling
He's obsessed with his nosh
And with all of his dosh
He can afford the new Baby Belling!

The second one's not at all bad - gelling and Belling are quite good non-obvious rhymes for Stelling. The last line doesn't scan, and the (lack of) punctuation at first made me think you were saying that Jeff's obsessed with his dosh; but those niggles are easily fixed; something like:

The host of the show is Jeff Stelling
With Rachel and Susie he's gelling
He's obsessed with his nosh;
And, with all of his dosh,
He can pick up a new Baby Belling!

There you go. If you win, can I have half your teapot?

Thanks, that's much better! Sure, if I win the teapot, you can have more than half of its total volume - you can have ALL of the air inside it (I'm sure I'll find some to replace it with).

Well, I already submitted my original version weeks ago. Not optimistic, but yes it's pretty limiting what can be done. Should have opened it up to rhymes for Rachel, Susie and Jeff too.

[Derek Hazell]

Well, I already submitted my original version weeks ago.

Well, I didn't submit mine, so if anyone wants to, help yourself.

I think you kinda answered your own question.

On second thoughts, you probably won't want to!

[Clare Sudbery]

Which email address should be used for submitting pomes?

[Hannah O]

Reading this thread, I'm now tempted to enter- do we just email the limerick in, along with relevant address details for the teapot to be sent to, should we win?

[Charlie Reams]

Should I submit my Susie one?

Yes yes a thousand times yes. It's not like you can damage her impression of you any further.

gossamer

[Vikash Shah]

Which email address should be used for submitting pomes?

Dear Vikash,

Many thanks for your limerick, which we will be sure to pass on to Jeff, Rachel and Susie. We will be announcing the winner on air on Friday May 29th, so keep watching!

Best wishes,

the Countdown Team


From: Vikash Shah [mailto:xxx@googlemail.com]
Sent: 18 March 2009 20:43
To: countdown@channel4.com
Subject: Limerick competition


Here are a couple of limericks to start with...

The Countdown Queen Rachel Riley ...

From:

Vikash Shah
<address>

[Jon Corby]

Should I submit my Susie one?

Yes yes a thousand times yes. It's not like you can damage her impression of you any further.

gossamer

Cool, will do when somebody posts up the email address for submissions.


Gossamer. Heh heh. Knorks.

[Ian Fitzpatrick]

Should I submit my Susie one?

Yes yes a thousand times yes. It's not like you can damage her impression of you any further.

gossamer

Cool, will do when somebody posts up the email address for submissions.


Gossamer. Heh heh. Knorks.

Just look one post before...............

[Jon Corby]

Just look one post before...............

Ah yeah cool, got it. I've got Vikash as a 'foe', so I hadn't seen that.

[Vikash Shah]

Just look one post before...............

Ah yeah cool, got it. I've got Vikash as a 'foe', so I hadn't seen that.

Oh dear. I'm very sorry if I upset you Jon. Is it because I didn't originally list you as a favourite contestant, because I like you too

[Neil Zussman]

It would have been nice to have seen him win the game, but at least he managed the conundrum, so did well on that score.

Why would it have been nice to have seen him win a game, because he has a disability? how patronising is that?.

I don't think Kathleen was referring to the disability in this comment. I think that he was actually a stronger contestant, just couldn't do the numbers. Whether this means he should have won, I doubt, as numbers are an integral part of countdown, but he certainly was a good contestant and very likeable.

[/rant]

Yes, it was a closer game than it look. The challenger declared nothing on all 3 numbers rounds, whereas Fiona gained 25 points on those three rounds. And the final gap was 27. So she would've won anyway, but it would've been tight.

[Louise Bambury]

It would have been nice to have seen him win the game, but at least he managed the conundrum, so did well on that score.

Why would it have been nice to have seen him win a game, because he has a disability? how patronising is that?.

Are you saying that it wouldn't have been nice?

You seem to be more on the defensive than the guy himself. How patronising is that?

Of course i'm not saying it wouldn't be nice for him to win, it would be nice for anyone to win....I just don't know why the need to mention his disability at all was needed. I'm a nurse working with people who have disabilities and I just read that comment as slightly patronising (obviously tones can never be detected through text!). He was a good contestant but Fiona was better.

[Jon Corby]

Just look one post before...............

Ah yeah cool, got it. I've got Vikash as a 'foe', so I hadn't seen that.

Oh dear. I'm very sorry if I upset you Jon. Is it because I didn't originally list you as a favourite contestant, because I like you too

Haha, I'm joking mate. My foe list is completely empty at the moment.

[Mike Dunbar]

On Friday this week my friend Paddy got this read out by Jeff:

There once was a lady called Riley,
Who’d mastered her figures entirely,
Jeff made advances, asked “What are my chances?”
“One in a million.” She said to him, dryly.

But Jeff didn't say his name. If you comment here:

http://mikedunbarcomedy.wordpress.com/2 ... and-merch/

I'll pass on your words about the limerick to man responsible. He's been unjustly uncredited for this masterpiece and he's very hurt about the whole thing. Thanks.