That missing episode...

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Guy Barry
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That missing episode...

Post by Guy Barry »

Well, the mystery of the unbroadcast episode has been finally revealed. Here follows my exclusive
recap of Steve Grimble's first appearance, which was hastily withdrawn from the schedules at the last
minutes under threat of legal action from his opponent. Which is a shame as it would have been one of
the most remarkable games in Countdown history...

----------------

Unofficial Countdown recap for Tuesday 2 July 2013.

C1: Steve Grimble. Was previously on in Series 11 in 1987, losing by 53-33 to the #2 Seed, Alan
Johnson, who subsequently went on to become Home Secretary. (Is this right?)
C2: Mark Down. Little is known about this man, but it's safe to say that he won't get invited back for
a second appearance.
DC: Susie Dent and Penny Smith.
RR: Rachel Riley.
OT: Other words or solutions.

R01: D O L A R E T S U
R02: D O L A R E T S U
R03: 75, 8, 4, 5, 6, 1. Target: 953.
TTT: STEAMTIE - "When you get the teasers"
R04: E N B T A T N E N
R05: J K U Q V I X U Z
R06: 100, 9, 2, 7, 1, 1. Target: 455.
R07: G E N D A G I E S
R08: D O L A R E T S U
R09: 1, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3. Target: 987.
TTT: RESEATS - "What you get at teatimes"
R10: O M E T H I N G S
R11: B O L L O C S K I
R12: D O L A R E T S I
R13: N O N R C U D M U
R14: 100, 1, 8, 7, 5, 6. Target: 601.
R15: C O N C E R T R I (conundrum)


And now a brief interlude before our main feature:

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

Enjoy the show.

Round 1: D O L A R E T S U

C1: LEOTARDS (8)
C2: LOUDEST (7)
Score: 8-0 (max 8)

Steve takes an early lead with a Countdown favourite.

Round 2: D O L A R E T S U

C1: LEOTARDS (8)
C2: LOUDEST (7)
Score: 16-0 (max 16)

Mark objects on the grounds that the selection is exactly the same as last time. Susie agrees, but
politely suggests that he could have come up with LEOTARDS himself. Mark says that he didn't want to
steal his opponent's word but is clearly rather embarrassed.

Round 3: 75, 8, 4, 5, 6, 1. Target: 953.

C1: 953. ((75 + 5) x (8 + 4)) - (6 + 1) (10)
C2: Mistake in working.
Score: 26-0 (max 26)

Steve declares "953, not written down" and Mark declares "953, written down". After Steve goes through
his working Mark shows him his pad with "953" written on it. Steve objects and Mark replies "I said I
had 953 written down, didn't I?" Objection upheld.

Teatime teaser: STEAMTIE -> TEATIMES

Round 4: E N B T A T N E N

C1: TENANT (6)
C2: tnetennba
Score: 32-0 (max 32)

Mark says that he's sure he's seen the word on a previous episode, but is gently put out of his misery.

Round 5: J K U Q V I X U Z

C1: QUIZ (4)
C2: QI (2)
Score: 36-0 (max 36)

Possibly the worst selection ever to appear on an episode of Countdown. QI is apparently some sort of
Chinese energy life-force thing, although Mark admits that he was actually thinking of that show on
BBC2 where Alan Davies is ritually humiliated by Stephen Fry.

Round 6: 100, 9, 2, 7, 1, 1. Target: 455.

C1: 455. ((100 x 9)/2) + (7 - 1 - 1) (10)
C2: Mistake in working.
Score: 46-0 (max 46)

Mark starts off with "nine divided by two" and is immediately disqualified for use of fractions. Steve
begins "a hundred times nine divided by two". Mark asks why Steve was allowed to have 9/2 when he wasn't.
Rachel says that the brackets are in a different place. Mark asks how she can possibly know and demands to
see Steve's working. He hasn't put any brackets in. Somebody mentions that there's a rule about whether you
should do multiplication or division first, but no one can remember what it is. Eventually Steve's method is
upheld on the grounds that it's bleeding obvious what he meant.

Penny talks again about her time on GMTV, but no one remembers it.

Round 7: G E N D A G I E S

C1: DISENGAGE (18)
C2: gandiseeg
Score: 64-0 (max 64)

Again Mark is convinced he's heard the word before. Where does he get these strange ideas from?

Round 8: D O L A R E T S U

C1: LEOTARDS (8)
C2: LOUDEST (7)
Score: 72-0 (max 72)

Mark claims the game must be fixed as these letters have come up for the third time. He is asked again
why he can't just remember LEOTARDS. A pained expression comes over his face.

Round 9: 1, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3. Target: 987.

C1: -
C2: -
Score: 72-0 (max 72)

Rachel goes into a frenzy trying to work out the correct solution. No amount of persuasion from the
gallery will reassure her. Mark breathes a sigh of relief as it's the first time he hasn't been
beaten.

Teatime teaser: RESEATS -> TEASERS

No one seems to notice that the second teaser only has seven letters. It's probably the least of their
worries.

Round 10: O M E T H I N G S

C1: SOMETHING (18)
C2: NIGHT (5)
Score: 90–0 (max 90)

Mark is asked how he didn't see SOMETHING. He says he did, but he was expecting Noel Edmonds to jump
out of the scenery. No one understands what he's talking about.

Round 11: B O L L O C S K I

C1: BLOCKS (6)
C2: sloblock
Score: 96-0 (max 98)

Mark is asked where he came across "sloblock". He says it's ridiculous as any Countdown fan will know
the word. Apparently there's a legitimate eight-letter word available here but no one mentions it.

Susie's Origins Of Words talks about the word "greenhouse". She says it comes from the words "green"
and "house".

Round 12: D O L A R E T S I

C1: IDOLATERS (18)
C2: LEOTARDS (8)
Score: 114–0 (max 116)

Enlightenment comes just too late for Mark as Steve gets his century.

Round 13: N O N R C U D M U

C1: CONUNDRUM (18)
C2: ROUND (5)
Score: 132-0 (max 134)

Mark objects on the grounds that this isn't the conundrum and it's too confusing. Susie points out
that it's a round though and that if he's not careful she'll take five points away, possibly giving him
the first negative score in Countdown history.

Round 14: 100, 1, 8, 7, 5, 6. Target: 601.

C1: 601. (100 x 6) + 1 (10)
C2: -
Score: 142-0 (max 144)

Mark is in a sulk. He objects to Steve's method on the grounds that the 6 is actually an inverted 9.
Rachel is forced to reveal all the other tiles in order to prove otherwise.

Round 15: C O N C E R T R I

Mark buzzes on 2 seconds to say INCORRECT. Nick reveals the answer as INCORRECT and duly gives the
rest of the time over to Steve. Steve buzzes on 10 seconds to say INCORRECT which is accepted. Mark
insists that he's due the 10 points but Nick overrules him on the grounds that he's been totally
humiliated so far and he wouldn't want to spoil it now.

Final Score: 152-0 (max 154)

Well there you have it folks - the highest winning score, the lowest losing score, the biggest margin,
and most significantly the biggest prat in the history of the game. As a special token of contempt Nick
decides to send Mark home without his goody bag. This proves to be the final straw and we hear him
mutter "you'll be hearing from my lawyers". The outcome is eagerly awaited.

Further summaries (real ones!) are at:
http://www.apterous.org/cdb/series.php?series=69
(At least when they've sorted out who's doing last Friday ;) )
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Andy Platt
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by Andy Platt »

Haha, awesome.
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Matt Morrison
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by Matt Morrison »

Haha, hreat work.
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Ian Volante
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by Ian Volante »

I don't often find this place amusing these days (way too geeky), but this tickled me. :)
meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles
Zarte Siempre
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by Zarte Siempre »

LMAO!

Love it - can you do all the recaps from now on? :P
Possibly the first contestant to accelerate with a mic clipped...
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szodiac
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by szodiac »

These selections must put some put on - Jessica has seen/remembers most of them before in normal episodes... in the famous Gotcha episode with Noel Edmunds, the incorrect conundrum in ep 2016 under a different order.... and she's checking where's she's seen the numbers game before too :-)

Mauro Jessica
Guy Barry
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by Guy Barry »

Well that's interesting given that I made them all up (apart from the rounds lifted from the Gotcha and the Fry/Laurie skit). I imagine that pretty much every possible combination has been round in one form or another over the years!

Thanks for all the positive feedback.
Jack Worsley
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by Jack Worsley »

Fantastic read, actually had me fooled for a bit though. :oops: You should definitely do recaps more often.
Guy Barry
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by Guy Barry »

Jack Worsley wrote:Fantastic read, actually had me fooled for a bit though. :oops:
Never! :D
You should definitely do recaps more often.
I wasn't angling to take over any of the regular recaps. However, might the 8 out of 10 Cats recaps be a fruitful area?
Dave Preece
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by Dave Preece »

I'm absolutely EMBARRASSED to admit that I was fooled up to round 7, maybe round 8... :oops:

BRILLIANTLY funny read!
Zubair Patel
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Re: That missing episode...

Post by Zubair Patel »

Haha ! Quality stuff Guy.
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