COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Discussion and announcements relating to unofficial Countdown competitions, held online or in real life. Observation, discussion, reflection, and other stuff ending in -ion.
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Ben Wilson
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COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Ben Wilson » Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:16 pm

Morning all :)

Just got up after a knackering day/night... but a seriously fun one even from the organising side of things!

First off, credit where it's due... thanks to Ryan for contributing one of his great crosswords for the COLIN puzzle mag, to Jono for pointing out I hadn't credited him with the creation of apterous in said puzzle mag, to Mr. & Sophie Krol for manning the conundrum computer when I was required to play in the tournament, to Charlie for writing triplicute which put out some interesting pairings throughout the day, to Kai, Stewart Gordon, Lesley, Mark and everyone else who brought along board games and ODEs, to MWM and Heather for wearing awesome t-shirts, to Shane the gay guy for one of the most entertaining and surreal COLIN afterparties ever, to my mum for keeping everyone fed and watered, and most importantly of all, to everyone who came along to play and make the day the success it was. :)

There were a whole bunch of prizes on offer during the day- here are the winners.

The first 'spot' prize was for the player who in round 3 had the longest word containing a Z. That was won by Amie Bateen with the awesome word SCHERZO.

The spot prize for highest single game score was won for the second year running by Jon Corby, who beat Jack Hurst 88-77 in what is likely the best co-event game of all time (if I can find the scoresheet, I will recap it).

As with last year, players were split into 5 tiers by ability. Tiers 1-2 had 9 players, tiers 3-4 had 12 players and tier 5 had 8. There were two 'performance prizes' on offer- one for the highest-placed player from tiers 3-4 and the highest-placed player from tier 5.

The first 'performance prize' was won by MATT MORRISON for finishing an impressive 11th, with 4 wins and 293 points.

The second 'performance' prize went to KAI LADDIMAN in 6th on 4 wins and 368 points.

And as ever, there were prizes for everyone in the top 5.

Fifth was series 63 supremo and record-holder JACK HURST, on 4 wins and 386 points (the highest aggregate points total of anyone on the day).

Fourth, making his co-event debut in impressive style was ROB FOSTER, 5 wins and 322 points.

Third on 5 wins and 330 points was RYAN TAYLOR, earning himself free entry into COLIN 2012.

Second, just missing out in a tense final, was JAMES ROBINSON on 5 wins and 363 points.

But the winner, unbeaten on 6 wins and a total of 382 points, retaining the spoon for another year, was KIRK BEVINS.

Congratulations to all prize-winners, and roll on the next co-event!

Final standings

Pos. Player Played Won For Against
1 Kirk Bevins 6 6 382 278
2 James Robinson 6 5 363 275
3 Ryan Taylor 6 5 330 249
4 Rob Foster 6 5 322 280
5 Jack Hurst 6 4 386 334
6 Kai Laddiman 6 4 368 318
7 Jon Corby 6 4 355 282
8 Tom Rowell 6 4 320 337
9 Mark Tournoff 6 4 316 275
10 Matt Bayfield 6 4 314 299
11 Matt Morrison 6 4 293 315
12 Josh Hurst 6 3 348 273
13 Jim Bentley 6 3 321 317
14 Jon O'Neill 6 3 313 292
15 Ben Wilson 6 3 311 274
16 Amie Bateen 6 3 287 288
17 Stewart Gordon 6 3 249 235
18 Gevin Chapwell 6 3 240 276
19 Joseph Krol 6 3 240 262
20 Richard Priest 6 2 339 319
21 Lesley Hines 6 2 315 329
22 Mike Brown 6 2 292 281
23 Paul Thompson 6 2 267 254
24 Heather Badcock 6 2 248 277
25 Phil Collinge 6 2 238 257
26 Lee Fisher 6 2 226 274
27 Adam Fleetwood 6 1 238 312
28 Dominic Gallagher 6 1 228 262
29 Supee Juachan 6 1 154 238
30 'Apterous Prune' 6 0 0 341

Full results

Table Contestant 1 Score Contestant 2
Round 1
1 Jim Bentley (3) 43 - 61 Kirk Bevins (6)
1 Kirk Bevins (6) 66 - 33 Joseph Krol (3)
1 Joseph Krol (3) 24 - 70 Jim Bentley (3)
2 Kai Laddiman (4) 61 - 71 Jack Hurst (4)
2 Jack Hurst (4) 60 - 34 Heather Badcock (2)
2 Heather Badcock (2) 51 - 68 Kai Laddiman (4)
3 Tom Rowell (4) 53 - 45 Jon O'Neill (3)
3 Jon O'Neill (3) 58 - 29 Paul Thompson (2)
3 Paul Thompson (2) 57 - 76 Tom Rowell (4)
4 Ryan Taylor (5) 38 - 57 Mark Tournoff (4)
4 Mark Tournoff (4) 71 - 28 Matt Morrison (4)
4 Matt Morrison (4) 28 - 62 Ryan Taylor (5)
5 Lesley Hines (2) 41 - 53 James Robinson (5)
5 James Robinson (5) 46 - 41 Stewart Gordon (3)
5 Stewart Gordon (3) 36 - 49 Lesley Hines (2)
6 Gevin Chapwell (3) 33 - 60 Richard Priest (2)
6 Richard Priest (2) 67 - 26 Phil Collinge (2)
6 Phil Collinge (2) 27 - 50 Gevin Chapwell (3)
7 Mike Brown (2) 40 - 53 Ben Wilson (3)
7 Ben Wilson (3) 54 - 16 Supee Juachan (1)
7 Supee Juachan (1) 12 - 47 Mike Brown (2)
8 Amie Bateen (3) 25 - 55 Jon Corby (4)
8 Jon Corby (4) 54 - 48 Lee Fisher (2)
8 Lee Fisher (2) 20 - 54 Amie Bateen (3)
9 Rob Foster (5) 30 - 49 Matt Bayfield (4)
9 Matt Bayfield (4) 58 - 48 Dominic Gallagher (1)
9 Dominic Gallagher (1) 34 - 39 Rob Foster (5)
10 Adam Fleetwood (1) 24 - 81 Josh Hurst (3)
10 Josh Hurst (3) 70 - 0 Apterous Prune (0)
10 Apterous Prune (0) 0 - 56 Adam Fleetwood (1)
Round 2
1 Matt Bayfield (4) 55 - 45 Mark Tournoff (4)
1 Mark Tournoff (4) 26 - 66 James Robinson (5)
1 James Robinson (5) 65 - 44 Matt Bayfield (4)
2 Kirk Bevins (6) 68 - 57 Richard Priest (2)
2 Richard Priest (2) 63 - 66 Tom Rowell (4)
2 Tom Rowell (4) 58 - 68 Kirk Bevins (6)
3 Jack Hurst (4) 60 - 36 Josh Hurst (3)
3 Josh Hurst (3) 59 - 45 Jon Corby (4)
3 Jon Corby (4) 88 - 77 Jack Hurst (4)
4 Gevin Chapwell (3) 39 - 55 Ben Wilson (3)
4 Ben Wilson (3) 46 - 53 Rob Foster (5)
4 Rob Foster (5) 68 - 31 Gevin Chapwell (3)
5 Kai Laddiman (4) 61 - 42 Jon O'Neill (3)
5 Jon O'Neill (3) 61 - 39 Adam Fleetwood (1)
5 Adam Fleetwood (1) 58 - 60 Kai Laddiman (4)
6 Amie Bateen (3) 41 - 59 Mike Brown (2)
6 Mike Brown (2) 59 - 62 Lesley Hines (2)
6 Lesley Hines (2) 53 - 60 Amie Bateen (3)
7 Ryan Taylor (5) 65 - 42 Jim Bentley (3)
7 Jim Bentley (3) 59 - 43 Phil Collinge (2)
7 Phil Collinge (2) 29 - 52 Ryan Taylor (5)
8 Lee Fisher (2) 54 - 44 Stewart Gordon (3)
8 Stewart Gordon (3) 39 - 33 Heather Badcock (2)
8 Heather Badcock (2) 52 - 36 Lee Fisher (2)
9 Supee Juachan (1) 21 - 25 Dominic Gallagher (1)
9 Dominic Gallagher (1) 46 - 50 Matt Morrison (4)
9 Matt Morrison (4) 57 - 34 Supee Juachan (1)
10 Joseph Krol (3) 44 - 34 Paul Thompson (2)
10 Paul Thompson (2) 58 - 0 Apterous Prune (0)
10 Apterous Prune (0) 0 - 57 Joseph Krol (3)
Round 3
1 Kirk Bevins (6) 59 - 49 James Robinson (5)
1 James Robinson (5) 84 - 64 Josh Hurst (3)
1 Josh Hurst (3) 38 - 60 Kirk Bevins (6)
2 Ben Wilson (3) 45 - 56 Ryan Taylor (5)
2 Ryan Taylor (5) 57 - 48 Jack Hurst (4)
2 Jack Hurst (4) 70 - 58 Ben Wilson (3)
3 Tom Rowell (4) 13 - 56 Jon Corby (4)
3 Jon Corby (4) 57 - 60 Matt Bayfield (4)
3 Matt Bayfield (4) 48 - 54 Tom Rowell (4)
4 Kai Laddiman (4) 61 - 63 Rob Foster (5)
4 Rob Foster (5) 69 - 59 Richard Priest (2)
4 Richard Priest (2) 33 - 57 Kai Laddiman (4)
5 Jon O'Neill (3) 59 - 47 Mike Brown (2)
5 Mike Brown (2) 40 - 54 Mark Tournoff (4)
5 Mark Tournoff (4) 63 - 48 Jon O'Neill (3)
6 Lesley Hines (2) 55 - 60 Jim Bentley (3)
6 Jim Bentley (3) 47 - 69 Matt Morrison (4)
6 Matt Morrison (4) 61 - 55 Lesley Hines (2)
7 Joseph Krol (3) 60 - 55 Amie Bateen (3)
7 Amie Bateen (3) 52 - 41 Heather Badcock (2)
7 Heather Badcock (2) 37 - 22 Joseph Krol (3)
8 Lee Fisher (2) 44 - 33 Dominic Gallagher (1)
8 Dominic Gallagher (1) 42 - 50 Gevin Chapwell (3)
8 Gevin Chapwell (3) 37 - 24 Lee Fisher (2)
9 Stewart Gordon (3) 45 - 23 Paul Thompson (2)
9 Paul Thompson (2) 66 - 31 Adam Fleetwood (1)
9 Adam Fleetwood (1) 30 - 44 Stewart Gordon (3)
10 Phil Collinge (2) 55 - 29 Supee Juachan (1)
10 Supee Juachan (1) 42 - 0 Apterous Prune (0)
10 Apterous Prune (0) 0 - 58 Phil Collinge (2)

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Joseph Krol » Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:39 pm

I was proud to be hosting the SCHERZO game. :D

Highlights of the day:

The reaction to my first-round draw, which was everyone shouting 'Kirk's a pushover'.

The infamous GENITALIA conundrum incident.

Me doing a headslap on myself and saying in a overloud voice "It's TOKOLOSHE, not TOLOKOSHE" at lunch and then everyone looking at me strangely.

The epic Jon vs. Jack game with two nines and a record score.

The incredibly tense final crucial conundrum between Kirk and James.

Thanks to everyone who made it work behind the scenes, especially Ben and Mother Ben who gave Kirk the honorary prize of the remaining apple crumble. Seriously though, it was very fun and well organised (apart from the fact that I was given Jim and Kirk to play in the first round as I hadn't been to a CO-event before). Here's some photos of the day:


http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=10 ... &aid=23295
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Ryan Taylor » Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:32 pm

Just got back and is equally as tired after Corby kept me up until the stupid hour of 4am. But seriously thanks again Ben for hosting the event and all those who contributed.

Some funny shit went down in the Fox and Hounds but notably Jim Bentley being, in his own words, "fucked" (deadly with a pool cue in hand) and Phil Collinge singing "Down in the Tube Station" on karaoke but then being angry at how he'd performed afterwards spring to mind.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Soph K » Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:39 pm

Ben Wilson wrote:Morning all :)

Just got up after a knackering day/night... but a seriously fun one even from the organising side of things!

First off, credit where it's due... thanks to Ryan for contributing one of his great crosswords for the COLIN puzzle mag, to Jono for pointing out I hadn't credited him with the creation of apterous in said puzzle mag, to Mr. & Sophie Krol for manning the conundrum computer when I was required to play in the tournament, to Charlie for writing triplicute which put out some interesting pairings throughout the day, to Kai, Stewart Gordon, Lesley, Mark and everyone else who brought along board games and ODEs, to MWM and Heather for wearing awesome t-shirts, to Shane the gay guy for one of the most entertaining and surreal COLIN afterparties ever, to my mum for keeping everyone fed and watered, and most importantly of all, to everyone who came along to play and make the day the success it was. :)

There were a whole bunch of prizes on offer during the day- here are the winners.

The first 'spot' prize was for the player who in round 3 had the longest word containing a Z. That was won by Amie Bateen with the awesome word SCHERZO.

The spot prize for highest single game score was won for the second year running by Jon Corby, who beat Jack Hurst 88-77 in what is likely the best co-event game of all time (if I can find the scoresheet, I will recap it).

As with last year, players were split into 5 tiers by ability. Tiers 1-2 had 9 players, tiers 3-4 had 12 players and tier 5 had 8. There were two 'performance prizes' on offer- one for the highest-placed player from tiers 3-4 and the highest-placed player from tier 5.

The first 'performance prize' was won by MATT MORRISON for finishing an impressive 11th, with 4 wins and 293 points.

The second 'performance' prize went to KAI LADDIMAN in 6th on 4 wins and 368 points.

And as ever, there were prizes for everyone in the top 5.

Fifth was series 63 supremo and record-holder JACK HURST, on 4 wins and 386 points (the highest aggregate points total of anyone on the day).

Fourth, making his co-event debut in impressive style was ROB FOSTER, 5 wins and 322 points.

Third on 5 wins and 330 points was RYAN TAYLOR, earning himself free entry into COLIN 2012.

Second, just missing out in a tense final, was JAMES ROBINSON on 5 wins and 363 points.

But the winner, unbeaten on 6 wins and a total of 382 points, retaining the spoon for another year, was KIRK BEVINS.

Congratulations to all prize-winners, and roll on the next co-event!

Final standings

Pos. Player Played Won For Against
1 Kirk Bevins 6 6 382 278
2 James Robinson 6 5 363 275
3 Ryan Taylor 6 5 330 249
4 Rob Foster 6 5 322 280
5 Jack Hurst 6 4 386 334
6 Kai Laddiman 6 4 368 318
7 Jon Corby 6 4 355 282
8 Tom Rowell 6 4 320 337
9 Mark Tournoff 6 4 316 275
10 Matt Bayfield 6 4 314 299
11 Matt Morrison 6 4 293 315
12 Josh Hurst 6 3 348 273
13 Jim Bentley 6 3 321 317
14 Jon O'Neill 6 3 313 292
15 Ben Wilson 6 3 311 274
16 Amie Bateen 6 3 287 288
17 Stewart Gordon 6 3 249 235
18 Gevin Chapwell 6 3 240 276
19 Joseph Krol 6 3 240 262
20 Richard Priest 6 2 339 319
21 Lesley Hines 6 2 315 329
22 Mike Brown 6 2 292 281
23 Paul Thompson 6 2 267 254
24 Heather Badcock 6 2 248 277
25 Phil Collinge 6 2 238 257
26 Lee Fisher 6 2 226 274
27 Adam Fleetwood 6 1 238 312
28 Dominic Gallagher 6 1 228 262
29 Supee Juachan 6 1 154 238
30 'Apterous Prune' 6 0 0 341

Full results

Table Contestant 1 Score Contestant 2
Round 1
1 Jim Bentley (3) 43 - 61 Kirk Bevins (6)
1 Kirk Bevins (6) 66 - 33 Joseph Krol (3)
1 Joseph Krol (3) 24 - 70 Jim Bentley (3)
2 Kai Laddiman (4) 61 - 71 Jack Hurst (4)
2 Jack Hurst (4) 60 - 34 Heather Badcock (2)
2 Heather Badcock (2) 51 - 68 Kai Laddiman (4)
3 Tom Rowell (4) 53 - 45 Jon O'Neill (3)
3 Jon O'Neill (3) 58 - 29 Paul Thompson (2)
3 Paul Thompson (2) 57 - 76 Tom Rowell (4)
4 Ryan Taylor (5) 38 - 57 Mark Tournoff (4)
4 Mark Tournoff (4) 71 - 28 Matt Morrison (4)
4 Matt Morrison (4) 28 - 62 Ryan Taylor (5)
5 Lesley Hines (2) 41 - 53 James Robinson (5)
5 James Robinson (5) 46 - 41 Stewart Gordon (3)
5 Stewart Gordon (3) 36 - 49 Lesley Hines (2)
6 Gevin Chapwell (3) 33 - 60 Richard Priest (2)
6 Richard Priest (2) 67 - 26 Phil Collinge (2)
6 Phil Collinge (2) 27 - 50 Gevin Chapwell (3)
7 Mike Brown (2) 40 - 53 Ben Wilson (3)
7 Ben Wilson (3) 54 - 16 Supee Juachan (1)
7 Supee Juachan (1) 12 - 47 Mike Brown (2)
8 Amie Bateen (3) 25 - 55 Jon Corby (4)
8 Jon Corby (4) 54 - 48 Lee Fisher (2)
8 Lee Fisher (2) 20 - 54 Amie Bateen (3)
9 Rob Foster (5) 30 - 49 Matt Bayfield (4)
9 Matt Bayfield (4) 58 - 48 Dominic Gallagher (1)
9 Dominic Gallagher (1) 34 - 39 Rob Foster (5)
10 Adam Fleetwood (1) 24 - 81 Josh Hurst (3)
10 Josh Hurst (3) 70 - 0 Apterous Prune (0)
10 Apterous Prune (0) 0 - 56 Adam Fleetwood (1)
Round 2
1 Matt Bayfield (4) 55 - 45 Mark Tournoff (4)
1 Mark Tournoff (4) 26 - 66 James Robinson (5)
1 James Robinson (5) 65 - 44 Matt Bayfield (4)
2 Kirk Bevins (6) 68 - 57 Richard Priest (2)
2 Richard Priest (2) 63 - 66 Tom Rowell (4)
2 Tom Rowell (4) 58 - 68 Kirk Bevins (6)
3 Jack Hurst (4) 60 - 36 Josh Hurst (3)
3 Josh Hurst (3) 59 - 45 Jon Corby (4)
3 Jon Corby (4) 88 - 77 Jack Hurst (4)
4 Gevin Chapwell (3) 39 - 55 Ben Wilson (3)
4 Ben Wilson (3) 46 - 53 Rob Foster (5)
4 Rob Foster (5) 68 - 31 Gevin Chapwell (3)
5 Kai Laddiman (4) 61 - 42 Jon O'Neill (3)
5 Jon O'Neill (3) 61 - 39 Adam Fleetwood (1)
5 Adam Fleetwood (1) 58 - 60 Kai Laddiman (4)
6 Amie Bateen (3) 41 - 59 Mike Brown (2)
6 Mike Brown (2) 59 - 62 Lesley Hines (2)
6 Lesley Hines (2) 53 - 60 Amie Bateen (3)
7 Ryan Taylor (5) 65 - 42 Jim Bentley (3)
7 Jim Bentley (3) 59 - 43 Phil Collinge (2)
7 Phil Collinge (2) 29 - 52 Ryan Taylor (5)
8 Lee Fisher (2) 54 - 44 Stewart Gordon (3)
8 Stewart Gordon (3) 39 - 33 Heather Badcock (2)
8 Heather Badcock (2) 52 - 36 Lee Fisher (2)
9 Supee Juachan (1) 21 - 25 Dominic Gallagher (1)
9 Dominic Gallagher (1) 46 - 50 Matt Morrison (4)
9 Matt Morrison (4) 57 - 34 Supee Juachan (1)
10 Joseph Krol (3) 44 - 34 Paul Thompson (2)
10 Paul Thompson (2) 58 - 0 Apterous Prune (0)
10 Apterous Prune (0) 0 - 57 Joseph Krol (3)
Round 3
1 Kirk Bevins (6) 59 - 49 James Robinson (5)
1 James Robinson (5) 84 - 64 Josh Hurst (3)
1 Josh Hurst (3) 38 - 60 Kirk Bevins (6)
2 Ben Wilson (3) 45 - 56 Ryan Taylor (5)
2 Ryan Taylor (5) 57 - 48 Jack Hurst (4)
2 Jack Hurst (4) 70 - 58 Ben Wilson (3)
3 Tom Rowell (4) 13 - 56 Jon Corby (4)
3 Jon Corby (4) 57 - 60 Matt Bayfield (4)
3 Matt Bayfield (4) 48 - 54 Tom Rowell (4)
4 Kai Laddiman (4) 61 - 63 Rob Foster (5)
4 Rob Foster (5) 69 - 59 Richard Priest (2)
4 Richard Priest (2) 33 - 57 Kai Laddiman (4)
5 Jon O'Neill (3) 59 - 47 Mike Brown (2)
5 Mike Brown (2) 40 - 54 Mark Tournoff (4)
5 Mark Tournoff (4) 63 - 48 Jon O'Neill (3)
6 Lesley Hines (2) 55 - 60 Jim Bentley (3)
6 Jim Bentley (3) 47 - 69 Matt Morrison (4)
6 Matt Morrison (4) 61 - 55 Lesley Hines (2)
7 Joseph Krol (3) 60 - 55 Amie Bateen (3)
7 Amie Bateen (3) 52 - 41 Heather Badcock (2)
7 Heather Badcock (2) 37 - 22 Joseph Krol (3)
8 Lee Fisher (2) 44 - 33 Dominic Gallagher (1)
8 Dominic Gallagher (1) 42 - 50 Gevin Chapwell (3)
8 Gevin Chapwell (3) 37 - 24 Lee Fisher (2)
9 Stewart Gordon (3) 45 - 23 Paul Thompson (2)
9 Paul Thompson (2) 66 - 31 Adam Fleetwood (1)
9 Adam Fleetwood (1) 30 - 44 Stewart Gordon (3)
10 Phil Collinge (2) 55 - 29 Supee Juachan (1)
10 Supee Juachan (1) 42 - 0 Apterous Prune (0)
10 Apterous Prune (0) 0 - 58 Phil Collinge (2)
I think you missed someone off the 'to thank' list - you! :lol: :roll: It was a very successful day and I bet everyone had fun. ;)
One Direction are my life. <3
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done" :)
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy :P

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Bayfield » Sun Jan 30, 2011 4:48 pm

COLIN 2011 - yet another fabulous tournament; thank you to all who helped in the organisation. On top of the thrilling, tense gameplay, I thoroughly enjoyed catching up with some familiar faces, and also meeting some very promising newcomers.

In particular, in my first two games, I was paired against Co-event debutants Dominic Gallagher and Rob Foster, both of whom I would love to see on Countdown in the future. Dominic played extremely solidly against me, including a great spot of FRAPPE, and over a 9-round format could be a danger to anyone except perhaps the very top few players. As for Rob, his performance speaks for itself and he was certainly my “vote” for overall top performer of the day. Rob’s vocabulary is excellent, including many of the high probability words he’s absorbed from apterous, and after our games I correctly predicted he would go on to upset some big names later that day. If Rob is interested enough to continue practising on apterous, including his numbers, he will only improve further – he’s a definite potential future Countdown series champion. (Sorry Rob, no pressure!)

Thanks to “triplicute”, for my third and fourth games, I found myself in a trio with James Robinson and Mark Tournoff. There was past Co-event history between all three of us… in fact James has had to play me at every Co-event he’s attended! Unfortunately the games didn’t turn out to be quite as epic as they might have been. Mark was simply having an off-day, and not performing anywhere near his best. I was playing well and my dessert-themed spots of GOOIEST and KULFIS (although I didn’t risk the latter) were enough to hand Mark his first loss of the day for the second year running. But if I was playing well, James was having an awesome day. Against me, he was unlucky with an invalid 9 in round 1 but didn’t miss a thing after that. It was fitting that a player in such good form went on to play for the tournament title in his final game. Sadly I was slightly disappointed at the number of costume changes James treated us to. At past tournaments, we’ve seen as many as 4 different shirts, earning Mr Robinson the title of the Lady Ga-Ga of Co-Events. Yesterday I don’t think we saw a single wardrobe change all day…

In games 5 & 6, I played Tom Rowell for the first time, and faced another regular Co-opponent Jon Corby. With a desperate immaturity to sneak a “rude” word into the game against Tom, I declared the invalid FRENULA* in R1 (yes, I know it has an obvious anagram!), but a slip by Tom in the final numbers allowed me to sneak ahead before the crucial conundrum. After riding my luck in conundrums earlier in the day, karma was reversed and Tom pipped me to unscramble NOGTIDIES. Well, when I say he “pipped me”, I was actually nowhere near seeing the solution. ;-) As for Jon, well, I can only admire a player who can perform as well as he did on essentially zero practice for the last 6+ months. Jon went on to resoundingly whupp Tom in the last game of the day, although from round 5 onwards, having spotted Kirk Bevins rapidly turning the colour of a beetroot, we were playing at top speed in order to spectate at the Bevins v Robinson clash on Table 1. Tom took some consolation in his Z word ZEALOT, a contender for the spot prize which he declared despite seeing a 7 in the selection not using the Z!

And COLIN 2011 in Stats: Hidden Talents from the Afterparty
  • Supee Juachan – grateful accepter of unclaimed bar meals
    Jim Bentley, Lesley Hines, Matt Morrison and Adam Fleetwood – demon pool players. Matt, the only man to hustle the pub’s resident hustler, and Jim, the man with the hardest shit in pool, ffs watch whose lager you knock over with that cue! (Sorry, that’s the “hardest shot in pool”.)
    Matt Morrison - victim of theft of smoking materials
    Jon Corby – the William Tell of long-distance beermat chucking. “One in the head and one in the vag!”
    Jack Hurst – Mother Teresa like humanitarian – generous benefactor of my only win at pool all night!
    Ryan Taylor – tamer of pub quiz machines extraordinaire
    Jon Corby and Matt Morrison – mind control experts on the “In It To Win It” game. But shit at picking the right box on Deal Or No Deal.
    Jon Corby (again) – COLIN’s newest photo model and everyone in the pub’s best friend!
    Stewart Gordon – a legend with a 5 x 5 Rubik’s cube
    Stewart Gordon (again) & Heather Badcock – karaoke stars who wowed the locals with “The Road To Hell Pt 2” and “Welcome To The Jungle”. I’ll let you guess who did which…
    Phil Collinge – Paul Weller on the mic, back from when he was political and angry!
    Jim Bentley – challenger of gravity whilst turning the corner in the pub – all we saw was an outstretched hand flailing on the floor!
Please feel to free to add the ones I forgot!

Right, got some puzzles to do now in the COLIN magazine! Have started Ryan’s crossword, and have no bloomin’ idea what the link might be yet.

Til the next Co-Event—
Matt

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Joseph Krol
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Joseph Krol » Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:47 pm

My hidden talent from the afterparty was being invisible the entire time.
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Soph K
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Soph K » Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:41 pm

My hidden talent from the afterparty was being invisible the entire time.
What's the afterparty? Do you mean when most of the adults who were at CoLin were at the pub???
One Direction are my life. <3
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done" :)
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy :P

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Joseph Krol » Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:42 pm

Soph K wrote:
My hidden talent from the afterparty was being invisible the entire time.
What's the afterparty? Do you mean when most of the adults who were at CoLin were at the pub???
Ja. (epic scrabble word)
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Gavin Chipper
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Gavin Chipper » Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:55 pm

Do we get to find out the seeding list that was used for round 1?

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Lesley Hines » Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:18 pm

Sorry again Gev for injuring you with the beermat - next time will definitely get whichever Jon threw it :oops: :oops:
Special mention to Amie for spotting two superb 9s whilst in DC: PEARLIEST and COAGULANT 8-) Matt also had a lovely UNSTERILE 8-)
Jim and Jack - we'll make it best of 5 ;)
Thanks Ben for a brilliant day! :D
Thanks to your Mum for brilliant scoff and keeping the tea coming - awesome :D
Thanks to you all for all the games, laughs and banter - superb day! :D 8-)
Thanks to Charlie for not telling me to piss off during my bladdered enthusing :lol:
Congratulations to all who won prizes. :mrgreen:
Gutted to have not been able to stay at the pub :( Will do next time. Have ordered abstinence for my sisters February - May just to be sure :lol:
Looking forward to the next one where I hope there will be a 'most pointless over-use of emoticons in a single post on the forum' prize :lol:
Kerching! :D
Last edited by Lesley Hines on Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Lowering the averages since 2009

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Paul Howe » Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:06 pm

Gutted I missed this :( But delighted that it looks to have been a mighty success as always.

Apologies again Ben for the late withdrawal, and to everyone who had to play Prune.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Gavin Chipper » Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:47 am

Thought I might do an experience thing:

This was my first CO event and it was every bit as good as I'd hoped. Because of the distance, I went up on the Friday but stupidly didn't buy the rail ticket in advance, but I won't mention exactly how much money the fuckers took from me. You can guess if you want. A return from Gevinland to Hykeham.

Jono was the first internet freak that I met, at some pub near King's Cross station. He was sort of my guide for the whole thing really and I spent more time talking to him than anyone else (I'll let you decide whether that's a good thing or a bad thing). Then Matt Morrison joined us, who is also every bit as cool in real life as on here. Then we went back to the station where we met Heather Badcock and The Moral Hero himself, Jon Corby. Again, neither disappointed with their awesomeness. We all travelled up together and we tried out the post-COLIN pub a day early. We managed to drag James Robinson away from his recapping to join us, the result of which is that the database now has 57 fewer recaps than it should have. I sampled the food at the pub. The vegetarian lasagne was a bit tough but the treacle sponge was good. Overall 6/10.

When we got to the Travelodge (apart from James who had his own 5-star hotel to go to), we hung out in the Morrison/Badcock room for a bit, where Jono got a bit out of control. Luckily we had the Moral Hero to sort him out. Also, out of the five of us, three of us were vegetarian and I reckon that's a big enough sample size to confidently say that we now outnumber them.

Fast forward to the morning - we went to the Little Chef next door for breakfast, which was pretty good, although they brought my porridge without the maple syrup that I'd asked for so I had to ask for it again, which sort of ruined the entire weekend for me and I'm never leaving the house again.

No, I think I'm over that now. So onto COLIN we went. We were lucky to come across Phil Collinge and Supee on the way and they were kind enough to give us a lift. It was great to meet everyone. People like Ben Wilson, Jim Bentley and Mike Brown I've known as online entities for the best part of ten years so it was pretty cool to meet these legends of the online community. I'd been talking to Josh Hurst on Apterous a couple of days before so it was good to meet him and when I met his brother Jack he looked like he was riding an invisible unicycle. Maybe that's the best way to train for these things. You can't argue with results.

As for the actual games (largely irrelevant but I'm going to talk about them anyway), in round one I was against Richard Priest and Phil Collinge. Richard Priest played very well and beat us both relatively easily, so I felt a bit sorry for him as he then had to play very good players after that and ended up with just those two wins, and behind me overall despite playing much better than me. I managed to beat Phil, so it was one win and one loss.

In round two I found myself on table 4 against the The Nebagram himself and Rob Foster. I managed to take ten points out of Rob's lead on a numbers game and beat Ben with DRUGGIE but really they were both a lot better and I found myself on one win out of four. Rob Foster wasn't someone I was massively aware of before and he did brilliantly to finish with 5/6 at the end of the day. And he said he's got no intention of going on the show! In this round I was sitting next to the epic grudge match between Jon "Moral Hero" Corby and Jack Hurst, where Corby set the day's highest score. The fist fight afterwards was a bit unpleasant, but this is just what happens at such highly charged events.

So over to table 8 for round 3 and I was against Lee Fisher and Dominic Gallagher. I managed to win both of these, although I had to overturn Dominic's lead with a crucial conundrum, the only one I spotted all day. I also nailed them both in 6-small numbers game.

So anyway, I went away with 3 wins out if 6 which I was very happy with as the standard at these events is very high and today was no exception. (I was also happy that I fucked over four of my opponents on 6-small numbers games and didn't lose a numbers round all day.)

Luckily the final game between Kirk and James was the last one to finish (or if not, any other games late-finishing games were being ignored) so most of us got to see the crucial conundrum which Kirk saw very quickly to win the tournament for the second year in a row. So well done to Kirk and also to James for making a good match.

The whole event was very well organised so well done to Ben and the Krols and whoever else was involved. The lunch was also very nice, so well done to Ben's Mum for that. It was quite funny seeing the Krols in real life. They're larger than life when posting on the forum but they're microscopic in real life! Sorry if I trod on you without knowing.

Most of us went on to the pub afterwards. There was some football match going on which took some people's attention for a while, but fortunately that finished. Lesley Hines threw a beer mat which hit me square on the head so really I'm lucky to still be here posting this now. It could have ended so differently. Despite this, it was very nice to meet my fellow Gandiseeger.

After a game of pool in which I was very unfortunate to lose quite badly to Jono (a statistical fluke), Jack Hurst thought it might be a good idea to introduce a pool variant to Apterous. Stick to the invisible unicycling. Just before I left, we had a rematch but our cab arrived before we finished so I handed my cue to the legendary Rubik's Cube solver Stewart Gordon, and I think Matt Morrison took over from Jono. I was in a much better position in this game, so no doubt someone will be able to confirm that Stewart wrapped this up fairly quickly.

There were a few other people I got to speak to like Ryan Taylor and the Kirkulator who were also pretty awesome. I also briefly spoke to Mark Tournoff and said hello to Matt Bayfield, Kai Laddiman and Paul Thompson (who isn't Zef) and goodbye to Adam Fleetwood. I don't think I spoke to Tom Rowell, Amie Bateen, Joseph or Sophie Krol or indeed Apterous Prune but maybe next time. I think I've mentioned everyone at least once in this report, so sorry if I've missed you out!

Me, Jono and Jack Hurst all got the same train back. When we were waiting on the platform and Jack went off for a shit I said to Jono that it's a bit weird getting a train with a Countdown great like Jack - a bit like getting a train back with Michael Schumacher after an F1 thing. That was a pretty awesome train journey (sorry for the overuse of that word). Jack got off at Peterborough so as at the start it was just me and Jono as we got into London. We both got on the Central Line where he ended up getting off at the wrong stop. I didn't. I got off at the right stop and went home making all the correct steps along the way. 1-0.

Anyway, so that's that. And hopefully I'll see you all again at a future event.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Joseph Krol » Mon Jan 31, 2011 6:59 am

Heightist.
Image

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Ryan Taylor » Mon Jan 31, 2011 10:36 am

Gavin Chipper wrote:we had a rematch but our cab arrived before we finished so I handed my cue to the legendary Rubik's Cube solver Stewart Gordon, and I think Matt Morrison took over from Jono. I was in a much better position in this game, so no doubt someone will be able to confirm that Stewart wrapped this up fairly quickly.
I took over from Jono and I can confirm that Stewart won. I then set Shane on Stewart in which they memorably shared an intense stare as both of their worlds collided.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Karen Pearson » Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:01 am

Gavin Chipper wrote:Lesley Hines threw a beer mat which hit me square on the head so really I'm lucky to still be here posting this now.
See Dinos! You are lucky I missed you with that chocolate eclair and only broke a glass!

Lesley and I clearly went to the same School For Ladies' Etiquette!!

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Lesley Hines » Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:37 pm

Karen Pearson wrote:Lesley and I clearly went to the same School For Ladies' Etiquette!!
Lol @ the idea idea of a Worcestershire Woman's Finishing School :lol: Love it!
Shame really cos the trajectory was spot on. I'd just failed to notice it was distinctly impeded :oops:
Lowering the averages since 2009

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:55 pm

This thread is going to get a big post at some point over the next couple of days. Still not feeling right after all the Stella.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Jon Corby » Mon Jan 31, 2011 3:26 pm

I'll be brief for now (as I have work to do), but COLIN 2011 was awesome. I have to do some backpedalling (and probably apologise to Ben, even though he probably wasn't aware) as I was blithely saying to anyone in earshot beforehand that I didn't really care for the game that much as I hadn't played in ages, and that I was only interested in the pub afterwards (and the night before for some of us). Truth is, I was actually genuinely disappointed when the tournament itself was over, I wanted to play some more. I really liked the new venue as well. So cheers and well done Ben for organising a(nother) great tournament. It has properly rekindled my interest in the game itself, which had all but vanished.

The good people of the Fox & Hounds also deserve a big thanks for contributing to a great Saturday night.

I dunno if I actually said it at all, but I lost count the number of times I was thinking to myself "I just fucking love this, this is awesome" on Saturday night.

I don't want to go into naming people right now as I'm meant to be keeping this brief, but MWM & Heather. Great times. Fucking love you guys. How cool is it that Countdown has brought you together? How doubly cool is it that I got to muscle in on it for a weekend?

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Charlie Reams » Mon Jan 31, 2011 3:29 pm

Jon Corby wrote:How cool is it that apterous.org[TM] has brought you together?
Fixed that for you.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by James Robinson » Mon Jan 31, 2011 3:38 pm

That was a brilliant couple of days. Definitely more than made for me having to withdraw from last year's event.

It wasn't the best of starts as I had to miss the end of Andy Murray's semi-final on the TV, so I could catch my train, but needs must. Although, the more mysterious thing was having my hat "stolen" by my father without me noticing, so I went to Mirfield station hatless, but in high spirits for the journey ahead.

3 trains, 2 hours and 15 minutes later, I arrived at Lincoln Central, then after a nice taxi ride, arrived at my very nice hotel, then was offered a nice upgrade to an executive suite (now you can't say no, can you :?: ) It was like being inside an expensive lounge. There was a king-size bed, flat screen TV, ironing board, trouser press, chocolate mints, table with chairs, and even a dressing gown :!: 8-)

After a nice dinner in the restaurant, I was invited to a drinking session with Heather (now you can't say no, can you :?: ), where I also met up with Matt, Jon, Jono and Gevin, who all happened to be on the quiz machine at the time. It was great meeting them all again, as I hadn't seen any on them since Co:Lon, apart from Gevin, who I hadn't seen at all, even though he did try and disguise himself as Marc Meakin at first. :lol:

Most of the few hours we seemed to be talking about whether hypnotism was a hoax or not, before Jono broke a glass by sliding it on an iced bench, just as we left the pub. :lol: Most of the journey on the way back down I spent in the company of Heather, with us talking about that most obvious thing that Brits like to talk about,...... the cold weather. :lol:

So, after we all parted our separate ways, I tried to get in a few games on Apterous, with no success, so I decided to get some sleep, which I did, right up till my wake-up call at 7:32am. After a nice breakfast, I decided to get out early to get some early practice in. The only slight problem was, I was well too early. I arrived at 9:20am, when only Ben and Lee were there. The next competitor (who turned out to be Kai) didn't turn up for another half an hour, but still I got a bit more practice in while I waited.

So, by the time everyone arrived, and all the pleasantries were sorted, it was time for the games to begin:

I started off on Table 5 with Stewart Gordon, who I played at CoLei, and the lovely Lesley Hines. A tricky start to this game, as there weren't many noticable chances to push for a lead, but I eventually got one with GLORY, after Lesley relaised she could have AURAL, after declaring ORAL, but luckily the numbers saved me for the umpteenth time. Then against Stewart, I decided to make it difficult for myself, firstly by not going for ANIMIST or BAILORS, and then even though I had a 15-point lead with 2 rounds to go, mainly thanks to spotting FOURTEEN in round 6, I decided to blob the 2nd numbers game, but luckily I scraped through, as the conundrum was too tough for us both.

So, after winning with a total of just 99 points, I was amazed to be on Table 1, but I was up against up 2 beasts, Mark Tournoff, who I beat in the quarters at CoLei, and surprise, surprise, Matt Bayfield, for the 3rd tournament in a row. After watching Matt beat Mark, it was my turn to face off with the Series 52 champion. After he had seaboat ruled out, I thought my chance might've come, and with a tricky 6 small numbers, it did. And for Mark's sake, the less said about the last 3 rounds the better. So, then it was Matt, again. It was 1-1 between us in CO-events, so anything could've happened in this one, and round 1 looked like giving me the perfect start, after I found a 9, compared to Matt's 7, but unfortunately for me, GASKET is not a verb, so no gasketing, but thankfully getting EPIMERON in round 2, gave me a slender lead which would stay until round 8, when yet again I rolled out the 6 small numbers, but this time I got it spot on, giving me the magic lead of 11 points, and topping it off with the conundrum gave me 4 out of 4 wins.

Since only me and Kirk had 4 wins after everyone had played 4 games, Josh Hurst joined us on Table 1 for the final matches, and after losing to Kirk, Josh and I would have an epic encounter. 64-64 with 2 rounds, and possibly even a double max game to boot (unconfirmed, at the moment). So, as Scott Gillies can testify, what do you do in that situation, go 6 small, and it gave me the dreaded 10 point lead, but luckily my conundrum solving brain was still in high gear, and I got it in 2 seconds, to give me an 84-64 win, now the 2nd highest winning score at COLIN. 8-)

So, it had arrived, the final between myself and Kirk. I knew I was the massive underdog (no matter what anyone says), but I knew I could beat him, if I tried my best. But, after round 1, I was preparing for the worst, after he took the early lead with VIOLONES, but to my amazement, I managed to level with TUITIONS, and after 2 lots of 6 small and a disallowed 8 for us both, the scores were deadlocked at 49-49, heading into the conundrum. As soon as YIBERTINE was revealed, I thought "Hmmmm", then I heard the slap of Kirk's hand on the desk, and I knew that was it. INERBRIETY came out of his mouth, and he retained the crown. I was still massively happy with 2nd place though. :D :D

After all the prizegiving and photos, including a nice sneaky one of me with the trophy, I headed down to the pub with Mike, where everyone was either quizzing, playing pool or watching the footy. I on the other hand joined Mike for a discussion about historical recaps (now you can't say no, can you :?: ). Then other discussions took place involving things such as how to get to Newark North Gate station, and was I disappointed with 2nd place. (Certainly not :!: :lol: )

Eventually, Amie offered me a lift to the station (now you can't say no, can you :?: ), and after a short delay while waiting, I eventually got home just after 10pm.

But then I was preparing myself for another big day,............ but that's another story.

It was absolutely brilliant was COLIN. A big thanks to Ben for organising it and to everyone who attended. It was an absolute pleasure to see you all again, apart from the ones who I met for the first time. ;) :) :D :mrgreen: 8-)

BRING ON COLIN 2012 :!: :!: :!: 8-) 8-) 8-)

P.S. Fans of my multi-wearing escapades at previous CO-events will disappointed to learn that becaus of how hot it was inside, I just stuck with the same red and white patterned shirt all day.

Sorry to disappoint. :(
Last edited by James Robinson on Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
WE ARE PREMIER LEAGUE!!!
UP THE MIGHTY TERRIERS!!! ;) :) :D :mrgreen: 8-)

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Jon O'Neill » Mon Jan 31, 2011 3:50 pm

James Robinson wrote:... before Jono broke a glass by sliding it on an iced bench, just as we left the pub. :lol:
James Robinson wrote:As soon as YIBERTINE was revealed, I thought "Hmmmm", then I heard the slap of Kirk's hand on the desk, and I knew that was it. INERBRIETY came out of his mouth, and he retained the crown.
You should probably have got INEBRIETY having seen it just the day before.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Mon Jan 31, 2011 3:54 pm

James Robinson wrote:I decided to get some sleep, which I did, right up till my wake-up call at 7:30am.
7:32am*

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by James Robinson » Mon Jan 31, 2011 4:05 pm

Jon O'Neill wrote:
James Robinson wrote:... before Jono broke a glass by sliding it on an iced bench, just as we left the pub. :lol:
James Robinson wrote:As soon as YIBERTINE was revealed, I thought "Hmmmm", then I heard the slap of Kirk's hand on the desk, and I knew that was it. INERBRIETY came out of his mouth, and he retained the crown.
You should probably have got INEBRIETY having seen it just the day before.
Matt Morrison wrote:
James Robinson wrote:I decided to get some sleep, which I did, right up till my wake-up call at 7:30am.
7:32am*
Oh yes, my memory is still a bit off after Saturday. :lol:
WE ARE PREMIER LEAGUE!!!
UP THE MIGHTY TERRIERS!!! ;) :) :D :mrgreen: 8-)

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Charlie Reams » Mon Jan 31, 2011 4:11 pm

Matt Morrison wrote:
James Robinson wrote:I decided to get some sleep, which I did, right up till my wake-up call at 7:30am.
7:32am*
Hey that's when my kids were born!

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Tue Feb 01, 2011 4:34 pm

Matt Bayfield wrote:Matt Morrison - victim of theft of smoking materials
Haha, this was Jim! Though I'm not surprised you got it confused, I think I went round telling other people for a while, half because I wanted to help him find them, and half because the way he described it to me was fantastic. Something like "Matt, they've got my fags!"... "Who has Jim?".... "They steal here. My fags are gone! And my lighter!" with a ravenous panic written on his face.

That said, I did end up one lighter down, thanks to a foolish panic decision to trust someone with it when it would obviously never get returned. That person? One clue. It starts with "Sh" and ends with "the weird gay one".

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by JimBentley » Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:19 pm

Matt Morrison wrote:Something like "Matt, they've got my fags!"... "Who has Jim?".... "They steal here. My fags are gone! And my lighter!" with a ravenous panic written on his face.
I can completely believe this of me but I seriously don't remember doing it!
Matt Bayfield wrote:Jim Bentley – challenger of gravity whilst turning the corner in the pub – all we saw was an outstretched hand flailing on the floor!
Oh god I don't remember that either.
Ryan Taylor wrote:Jim Bentley being, in his own words, "fucked"
Ah, I do remember that.

AMAZING DAY. Words can't describe it all, or at least not words I can come up with right now. Will try again later.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Bayfield » Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:37 pm

Matt Morrison wrote:
Matt Bayfield wrote:Matt Morrison - victim of theft of smoking materials
Haha, this was Jim! Though I'm not surprised you got it confused, I think I went round telling other people for a while, half because I wanted to help him find them, and half because the way he described it to me was fantastic. Something like "Matt, they've got my fags!"... "Who has Jim?".... "They steal here. My fags are gone! And my lighter!" with a ravenous panic written on his face.

That said, I did end up one lighter down, thanks to a foolish panic decision to trust someone with it when it would obviously never get returned. That person? One clue. It starts with "Sh" and ends with "the weird gay one".
Blimey, I didn't know that Jim had also fallen prey to the baccy thief, that might have been when I was outside? In my original post I was referring to the lifting of your lighter...

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Jon O'Neill » Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:45 pm

Guys, I know who stole your stuff, it was Matt.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:07 pm

Jon Corby wrote:I dunno if I actually said it at all, but I lost count the number of times I was thinking to myself "I just fucking love this, this is awesome" on Saturday night.
This. The whole thing was touching as fuck.
Jon Corby wrote:I don't want to go into naming people right now as I'm meant to be keeping this brief, but MWM & Heather. Great times. Fucking love you guys. How cool is it that Countdown has brought you together? How doubly cool is it that I got to muscle in on it for a weekend?
Meant to reply to this sooner - probably should do so by PM, but fuck it, let's publicly jack each other off. You were fantastic. We both enjoyed your company A LOT. It was quite interesting that one of the first notable things we said to each other over the weekend was that we barely spent any time in each other's company further than "hello"s at Colon. To me that just somehow proves that this Internet stuff is alright and not completely mental, not completely false and unreal. BFFs.

Also, did you get your muscle in on it? I didn't notice, but it wouldn't surprise me.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Jon Corby » Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:19 pm

Matt Morrison wrote:
Jon Corby wrote:I dunno if I actually said it at all, but I lost count the number of times I was thinking to myself "I just fucking love this, this is awesome" on Saturday night.
This. The whole thing was touching as fuck.
I think it's more that I just don't get out very much anymore.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Dinos Sfyris » Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:36 pm

Image

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Ryan Taylor » Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:45 pm

Dinos Sfyris wrote:Image
Is that meant to be a dog (with a large, circular, white tail) stuck head first in a toilet and trying to get out?

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Joseph Krol » Wed Feb 02, 2011 3:24 pm

Just found a sweet from COLIN in my trouser pocket... ew.
Image

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Michael Wallace » Wed Feb 02, 2011 3:56 pm

Joseph Krol wrote:Just found a sweet from COLIN in my trouser pocket... ew.
Someone was giving you sweets?

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Wed Feb 02, 2011 3:57 pm

I apologise but my story is turning out to be a typical fucking MWM essay. Let's just say this - it's going to have to be posted in parts. I hope someone reads it! Coming soon...

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Jon Corby » Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:03 pm

tl;wr

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:05 pm

haha :)

fu;uc

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Jon Corby » Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:09 pm

That was totally lookingforwardtoit;will read, in case you didn't understand.

What was yours?

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:15 pm

Jon Corby wrote:That was totally lookingforwardtoit;will read, in case you didn't understand.

What was yours?
Course I understood it. I was just being lazy so did mine with a bit of text speak.

fanks u; ure cool

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Ben Wilson » Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:50 pm

My photos of the day if anyone's interested. :)

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by JimBentley » Thu Feb 03, 2011 7:18 pm

I’ve had a few abortive attempts at this already and still can’t encapsulate just how good a time I had. So I’m going to keep this one comparatively brief and say thanks to Ben for running another really great tournament (which was the reason we were all there in the first place, after all). Definitely the best one yet (yeah I know)! And to Jill of course for the lovely stew, which definitely gave me extra stamina for the evening.

As ever, it’s always a pleasure to once again see the people I’ve met before at these things and it’s always great to meet some new people, of course. It was especially interesting to at long last meet Gevin in person, it’s a thing I didn’t think would ever happen, but it did happen and it was not a disappointment. And after somehow managing to not talk to Matt B last year, it was cool to get to have a couple of chats this time round – Matt is a very cool person.

And then to the pub. As has been alluded to in this thread, I basically got a bit fucked and whilst I can remember the gist of it, a lot of the detail is cloudy. But I can remember enough to say that Phil, Heather and Stewart’s karaoke was awesome, that I’m going to beat Lesley next time (can’t believe that cue ball didn’t fall!), that Ryan and Jon are two of the most straightforwardly excellent people I’ve ever met, and that Matt and Heather are possibly the loveliest and funniest fuckers in the world. As Jon said – how cool is it that something so unlikely as Countdown could have made that happen?

There’s so much more that I could write and I know I’ve left people out, but it’s already all too gushing and I don’t usually do gushing. But if next year is going to be as good as that, I’m in.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Ralph Gillions » Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:39 pm

Thanks for posting a link to the pictures Ben. It is nice to see them.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Ryan Taylor » Thu Feb 03, 2011 11:36 pm

JimBentley wrote:Matt and Heather are possibly the funniest fuckers in the world.
Is that where you disappeared to around 4?

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:29 pm

Ok, it begins in a minute. Sorry, it's really long. I really have no idea why I have even written it. Well I do, it's because it was an amazing weekend and in writing this blow-by-blow account I've been able to relive it in many ways, and it's been an absolutely fantastic journey. But I doubt it will appeal to anyone, it's too long and no doubt too boring and not funny enough. So, sorry for my impending clogging of this thread, but I hope just one person finds some joy in it...

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Joseph Krol » Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:31 pm

Matt Morrison wrote:Ok, it begins in a minute. Sorry, it's really long. I really have no idea why I have even written it. Well I do, it's because it was an amazing weekend and in writing this blow-by-blow account I've been able to relive it in many ways, and it's been an absolutely fantastic journey. But I doubt it will appeal to anyone, it's too long and no doubt too boring and not funny enough. So, sorry for my impending clogging of this thread, but I hope just one person finds some joy in it...
I'll read it!
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:39 pm

The Journey

The weekend started with a frantic wait, which seems like an odd term, but it really was. I’d trusted the guy who makes the t-shirts that if I got him my designs over the weekend, he’d have the t-shirts to me by Friday’s post. He didn’t send them out til Wednesday afternoon though, and I’d forgotten how shit and unreliable the postmen can be round here – the previous week the post turned up one day at gone 5pm, and I had to leave the house at 3:30pm at the latest to get to King’s Cross in time. So cue lots of walking to the front door, checking the mat outside, jumping up to check the door at any sign of noise in the stairwell, looking outside every ten minutes to see if I could see the postman walking around, it was horrible. I must have checked the door twenty times that day, and just as I was starting to give up hope and thinking what a shame it would be to go without our t-shirts (just a pure shame beyond the hassle and the money I’d expended), they arrived, just before 3pm. Sweet.

I got to King’s Cross at about quarter to four, with the train leaving at 4:30pm. Jono had already told me he was in a pub down the road with Gevin, so I scooted off to find the place and met them at around five past or some shit. Despite us being really good friends in real life, Jono didn’t even stand up to give me a hug. What a dick. Gevin was lovely and smiley, a great first impression. They’d been talking about notorious Countdown people like Kirk and RB, and the first thing he asked me was whether he should call Heather “Heather” or “Badcock”. Me and Jono exchanged brief pleasantries concerning the possibly impending departure of Torres from Liverpool, and then, seeing that Jono still had an almost-full pint, I went to the bar and grabbed myself a nice drinkable ale. Pretty silly really, soon as I paid Jono ran over with my phone, he’d answered it to Heather who was waiting at the station with Corby and asking why I was buying a pint when we had 25 minutes til the train left and it was at least a five minute walk back to King’s Cross. Fair point. Thank gawd it was a nice ale, pretty much necked it which no doubt set me up well for the journey and we strutted back to the station.

We met Heather and Corby with a few minutes to go on Platform 5, and got the fuck onto the party train. It was as busy as your mum is in peak season, so we went all anal and found our reserved tickets (I could Heather behind me taking the piss to Corby, “Oh, we’re not usually allowed to find our reserved seats, we have to sit wherever we want” haha). The three of us (me, H, Corby) had booked around a table, and two blonde girls with shit loads of bags were sitting there. I broke the news to them in a not particularly gentle fashion, and with very sad faces that got up, picked up their bags, and we manoeuvred round them into the seats. Gevin and Jono sat in front of us. The blonde girls sat at the table opposite the aisle, right next to us, where two other people were already sat, and put all their bags on their laps, under the table, and in the luggage rack above. That lasted about 60 seconds before the people who had those seats reserved came along and forced them to move again, accompanied by yet sadder faces.

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First ever photographic evidence of Gevin.

Journey was good, we had a few beers. It got dark outside. We got off at Newark North Gate, and had 40 minutes to do the walk from there to Newark Castle. As we went through the barriers, a train guy was explaining to a girl how to get somewhere, and we quickly picked up he meant Newark Castle, and we joined in the conversation. He said four of us could get a taxi for a quid each, but we decided to walk anyway, what with there being five of us, and this girl, who decided to tag along, even though she’d clearly have much preferred it if three of us got a taxi with her. A walk ensued, with various people taking turns talking to this girl about what she was doing in Newark, etc. (visiting a friend at Lincoln University). After 15 minutes of walking, we get to a pub and decide to stop for a pint, and get a later local train to Hykeham. Me and Corby had told the girl at one point we were in Lincolnshire for an unofficial Countdown tournament, so unsurprisingly she didn’t stop for a drink with us, and used this as an excuse to escape, departing with directions from Gevin’s map, and a distinctly audible “I love you” from Jono.

My god, the pub was weird. It stunk of sick. I’ve only ever been in one place that smelt more of sick, and that was a crap club in Exeter that had made the foolish decision to carpet its floors, so it retained years of vomit. Anyway, it was a really strong smell in this pub, completely unpleasant and bizarre. We drink, we carry on, we talk about the vomit smell without fear of upsetting the locals, and we finally get to Newark Castle station. Jono’s new wife was nowhere to be seen.

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Horrible smelly pub fun.

We arrived there a minute or two before a train to Hykeham was due to arrive. It was late, but there was a few people around so we were sure we hadn’t missed it. Heather strolled down to the computer but it had disappeared from the screen. Apparently in Lincoln they don’t have the ability to report delays via the departures screen, and she was helpfully advised by a local that you have to watch a man in a tower instead to see when he flicks a switch, signifying the signals have changed and the train is on its way. A brilliant system. The train arrived five or ten minutes late. The journey was uneventful from what I recall.

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Local train.
Last edited by Matt Morrison on Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Jon O'Neill » Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:42 pm

I'm excited to read it.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:46 pm

The Friday

I’d estimated about a 35-40 minute walk from Hykeham train station to the Travelodge, so, unsurprisingly, we broke it up with an early look at the official Colin pub, The Fox & Hounds. Entertainment ranged from the quiz machine to educated discussions of hypnotism to James Robinson, who Heather had summoned via text from the warmth of his executive suite at the Bentley Best Western hotel. Consumed quite a few Stellas and Guinnessesses, and after finishing on a particularly unusual-tasting (but lovely) whiskey (and coke) of unknown branding, was quite drunk upon leaving the pub late into the evening.

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COUMTDOWN and BEVINSLOVE make early marks on the quiz machine.

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Friday night kru.

Evidently I wasn’t the only drunk one, as we marked our departure with a fun game of “Icy Picnic Table”, brought crashingly to an abrupt end when Jono facilitated a destructive meeting of pint glass and concrete paving slab. The pub door was still closing as the landlady had gone inside after smoking just a moment after we came out, and after looking to the door and seeing her turn and look at us after the big smash, thousands of glass shards at our feet, we acted all teenage and just started walking off as fast as we could without quite breaking into running. Classic stuff.

The walk home was marked with illegal urination and a phone call with Ryan Taylor, during which I was pleasant and excited and Jono was abusive and foul. There may be a theme developing here.

Only Jono and Gev ate at the Fox & Hounds, so the arrival of a McDonalds chain on our route home appealed to the other three of us. No word of a lie, the first time I’d stepped into a McDonalds into pushing eight years or so I reckon. Shame to lose that streak but some sort of spicy veggie burger thing they were doing did hit the spot whilst inebriated. Like the fucking rebels we are, we, largely inadvertently to be fair, broke through the chair-based cordon into the “we’ve cleaned this bit for the night, don’t be cocks and sit here” area and enjoyed our munch. Jono will probably tell you he was trying to hit the high-up golden arches by the side of the road with the last of his drink rather than get it through the arches successfully, but don’t believe a word of it. Such a vandal, we accompanied him across the roundabout, possibly fucking up the route and having to climb a couple fences, and into the Travelodge by, I dunno, 1am or so.

It seemed sensible to end the night there considering we had to be up early for Countdown action and we were already late and drunk, but it didn’t quite seem appropriate, and besides, we’d covered the eventuality by persuading the landlord at the Fox & Hounds to give us a bottle of take-out red, so we congregated in Chez Morricock and dished out a few glasses of the wine. Not long later and much of hell had broken loose. Or to be more precise, Genesis had broken loose via the medium of kicks and rips and had found itself wedged in our toilet, much unlike the sacred Jew text it is. There was also some chewing gum in there somewhere, the toilet almost overflowed but then didn’t, all the while Jono telling us not to worry like some kind of overconfident plumber. His red wine was hidden from him, Corby and Gevin practised their disapproving scowls, Heather fell asleep, vague plans were made for getting up in the morning, and the remaining parts of the motley crew went their own separate ways, in one case having first replaced our battered bible with a fresh tome.

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Jono hid the evidence in his room.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Joseph Krol » Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:49 pm

Is eagerly awaiting the next installment.
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:54 pm

Colin’s Day

Didn’t have the best night’s sleep, the bed was a bit leany-into-the-middle so I was constantly battling with a slope, as well as a pillow so thin that it felt like I was resting my head on a piece of A4 paper all night. I’d been a gentleman and given Heather the extra pillow – quite why you only get one extra pillow in a bed for two, I dunno, but it’s always the fucking case, eh? Was also pretty hungover – I never learn about not mixing my drinks, and a fairly potent mix of real ale, various lagers, Guinness, whiskey, and red wine left me feeling particularly weak-stomached.

Me and HB were a bit late for our early morning meeting with Gevin, Jono and Corby in the Little Chef across the car park. They were just finishing up their food by the time we’d got ours ordered. We exchanged stories of bibles and maple syrup (or Gevin's lack thereof). Everyone apart from me seemed to be feeling quite good, which was annoying as I didn’t feel too hot at all. Still, a vegetarian sausage sandwich seemed like the most awesome way to cure a hangover. It wasn’t. Just because you can’t die from undercooking vegetarian sausages, it doesn’t mean you should be ok with undercooking them. And if you do, you shouldn’t take so long to prepare the fucking thing that you could have cooked them properly anyway, thrown them away and then cooked more of them properly again in the same space of time. Dry as fuck too, not enough ketchup sachets were provided. And too filling – what I thought would be perfect for my stomach turned out to be quite unsettling. By this time, what with our belated arrival, Jono, Gevin and Corby had left, heading to Asda first rather than the Memorial Hall to do a team order of lunchtime and snacking goodies. We left ten minutes after them.

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Next up.

Feeling pretty rough whilst walking to the hall, and, I’m not ashamed to admit, nervous too, I joked with Heather that my first Countdown-based move might be just to be sick all over the table. I wondered if it would count as a 4 for SICK or a 5 for VOMIT, whereas she expressed a hope that I’d at least be able to turn away from the table before ruining someone’s board game forever.

The first familiar face we encountered was the wonderful Supee, and inside the players were taking part in some kind of exhibition match that I never truly got to grips with. Said hello to some familiar-once-over faces, and welcomed some new ones I’d been looking forward to – the gorgeous Josh Hurst, the tall Ryan Taylor, the famous Jack Hurst, the lovely Amie Bateen, and the delightfully cuddly Jim Bentley (some, but not all, of those adjectives are interchangeable). Each of them delivered everything I could have hoped for in their own very special ways.

My first draw was Ryan and Mark Tournoff, a great combo in terms of testing myself, and a pleasing group in that I was enjoying having just met Ryan, and that I played Mark at Colon last summer. First up I played Mark, and fuck me I wish I had bothered to keep my sheets so I could tell you the selection. No shit, after joking with Heather about feeling sick and throwing up instead of declaring my first word, what did I get? Yup, VOMIT for 5! That is some freaky shit right there. I chuckled inside and couldn’t be arsed explaining the story to either of them. Anyway, both games passed, and I did absolutely shit. I scored 28 in both matches, and was beaten by 40 or 50 points in each game. I only won one round, and that was thanks to Ryan declaring a nonsense 7 first, the points falling to my simple 5, despite there having been plenty of obvious 6s, one or two of which Ryan had spotted. It wasn’t a great start to the day, but, to be fair, all I’d expected.

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Kirk checks that Ryan played ok. He did, just not by Kirk's standards.

What Corby said in his post about backpedalling on his early admission that he wasn’t there for the game, just for the pub, was kind of true for me too, to some extent. Whilst I was definitely looking forward to the game itself, I wasn’t for the competitive aspect of it, and for me too that changed throughout the day. This was evidenced by the result of misreading my 7-point numbers declaration when it came to explaining it when I had it clearly written down. Ryan was happy to give me the 7 points when I showed him what I had meant to say, but I didn’t add them to my score, and I couldn’t have cared less. Fast forward to the end of the day, and more specifically to getting home and reading Ben’s results and standings post after the weekend, and I found myself desperately checking down the table to see whether my deserved extra 7 points would have made a difference to my ranking! They wouldn’t, I would still be 7 short of Bayfield above me, but yeah, it’s just one of those nice little nuances, I only seem to care about doing well when I’m doing well. This is cool, as back when I first joined apterous, I beat myself up a lot more when playing badly and getting whooped. Winning only 2 out of 6 at Colon (which really should have been 1 out of 6) and knowing I had to control my emotions and not stomp around in a sulk was probably the start of a Good Thing for me. Anyway, doing well is only one part of enjoying the game, undoubtedly another solid part is a well-put-together tournament, so thanks Ben, great stuff.

The second table saw me pitted against two others who had lost both their opening games, Supee, and Dominic Gallagher. Both of them had equally tough draws in the first round and there were no walkovers here. I edged Supee out on the 2nd numbers to win the match – shockingly, the only 6 small selection in my first four matches that I actually managed to score points on! And I came from behind to beat Dominic on a crucial conundrum that he would have been not far behind me on. I’d managed to push my 28 point scores from the first round to two in the 50s, which was nice.

The third table was a classic, and one that would end up being repeated on the picnic table outside the front of The Fox & Hounds at several points later in the evening – Jim, Lesley and I, all on 2 wins from 4 each. The relaxed company pushed me to my best performances, this time managing to score in the 60s each time, and to get my first live event nine (from SLUETRINE or some such) which was an especially nice moment having been frustrated to not get any 9y-selections at Colon last summer. To be fair to Lesley, my point about my “should have got 7 points” numbers against Ryan is completely moot, and then some, considering she did a similar thing in our game, confusing herself when reading her method, which eventually cost her the game entirely, finishing 6 points behind me having solved the conundrum just in front of me. So I guess luck was definitely on my side a bit too.

All in all I was very pleased then, and wicked to get a prize for overachieving, albeit a bit embarrassing when you consider my four wins could so easily have just been one or two. Besides, it’s not that hard to overachieve when you’re shit haha. Just been lulling you bitches into a false sense of security so I could earn me a nice new pen and keyring.

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Classic group photo action.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Joseph Krol » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:03 pm

I am going to become better for my next coevent. You have my word.
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:03 pm

Colin’s Evening

No sooner had prizes been giving out than we found ourselves pubward. The first pint was consumed around a table with Heather, Amie, and Josh, where Josh firmly cemented his place as Hurst of the Year (Jack’s been abusing me about claiming to have any preference so I’m rubbing that shit right in), and an attentive Corby behind me endured a typical Man Utd turnaround against his beloved Saints in the FA Cup.

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Jon in spazzy football-watching moment.

Making an account of the evening from there on would not be simple, which is really no surprise to anyone who was there to appreciate the sheer amount of booze that the hardcore attendees consumed, so I’ll have to do my best with selected highlights.

My first experience of Shane, and I believe the first encounter any of us had with him, was whilst I was waiting at the bar to buy a round and he came in the front door with a couple of girls and another guy. Various hellos were exchanged with the existing locals, and I didn’t pay much attention. But then the people he’d arrived with floated off to a table, and I found him next to me at the bar. I was ordering a round of about five or so drinks, which meant the barman dropped off the first couple of pints and then went off to get more. So, Shane, thinking that if I hadn’t walked off with the pints then they couldn’t be mine, tried to take one, first asking me, then someone else at the bar, then finally the returning barman “is this mine?” before finally relinquishing his hold on the pint (yes, he touched it, yes it was Jono’s Kronenbourg – maybe that’s where it all started). Whilst the barman went off yet again to fulfil the final order, Shane interacted with me again, telling me that “ooh, that’s a lovely bracelet, that is” on my wrist. At this point I’d only heard him speak about the pint, he was slurry and wobbly, and I’d simply assumed he was wasted, oblivious that a big part of the way he was acting was his style and not his inebriation. I asked “which bracelet?” and he responded “oh, any of them” and stroked my wrist. I thought it was an oddly genius response, but was still totally confused by his very untypical appearance, genuinely having no idea whether he was absolutely stonkingly gay or just pretending and inadvertently doing the most unrealistically exaggerated impression of a gay ever. Turns out, as we all went on to discover, pretty much both. To look at his style and dress, you’d expect him to be a homophobic before a homosexual. He was a walking contradiction, a physical disprover of even the slightest of stereotypes, and I would not be surprised if I never met a human quite like Shane again.

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BFFs.

Shane skirted around the pub for the rest of the evening, popping up so often yet so irregularly it was almost like he was a part of the Countdown scene in himself, someone you kept bumping into and learning more about each time you interacted, much like meeting any of your personal apterous heroes for the first time. Probably the other greatest Shane moments came around the pool table. When he faced up to Stewart Gordon whilst trying to get someone to accept his £20 pool bet, well, it can’t be put better than Ryan, and it deserves repeating – it was a moment to behold as their “worlds collided”, something you can only sit back, admire, and somehow thank Countdown for. After Jim accepted his stakes, the game was so tense, the sense of occasion as 10 of us crowded round the table, all clearly cheering on Jim, was huge, both the excitement and frustration we all experienced along with Jim’s highs and lows palpable.

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Jim doing his stuff vs. Shane.

Of course, the game itself wasn’t the only focal point. My favourite bit was when Corby was talking to Jim about how cool I was (he claimed surprise that I had heard it later on but I am sure he was being sarcastic, speaking loud enough that he knew I’d be in earshot!), to which Ryan looked over to me and said something about me being a bit of a dickhead. Shane thought it was him being called a dickhead, and the most enjoyable bit was how he got it wrong on three counts – not only were they talking about me, but he had a go at Corby instead of Ryan for saying it, and of course it was an entirely non-serious use of “dickhead” anyway. Well, maybe.

By this point, Shane and Corby already had history, which was no doubt why he was so keen to blame Jon for anything untoward. It had come from Corby talking to Shane’s “sister” (we guessed it wasn’t likely a bloodline thing, more of a sisterhood thing), who then quite fancied Jon and when Corby said he wasn’t single, Shane took that to heart and decided he’d been leading her on. From the outside, it was quite comical, as it seemed to be a topic that kept rearing its head, with Shane looking for any excuse to bring it up, and Jon trying plenty hard to explain his corner. Many conversations started “Shane, mate, come on” and despite understanding Jon’s frustrations, it was pretty funny seeing him and Shane being oddly pally like they were old mates having a drunken fall out.

Just like Jim suffered from playing for money, overthinking shots and not playing his natural game (albeit a natural game that involves falling about and smashing pint glasses), I tend to have the same response to having stakes placed on a pool game, hence my reservation at playing Shane for anything more than a fiver, and my encouraging Phil not to then place a further stake of £20 with Shane. Of course, in hindsight that would have been sweet. Still, it was nice to win back a bit of pride for the apterous pool crew, and I’m sure Phil was happy to see even just a little bit of the smirk wiped from Shane’s face.

Talking of Phil, you all remember those toys that you tip sideways, release and then the wobble back and forth until they stand upright again? “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down”, yeah? Well, imagine the opposite of a weeble, one that starts perfectly upright, isn’t touched at all, but then starts swinging back and forth, and soon finds himself careering across the car park, smashing into a fence, all the while laughing hysterically and doing his best to not spill too much of his pint? That was Phil. This was all in front of the landlord too, who’d just come outside for a cigarette and caught me taking a piss against the fence – oops. In fact, I believe it was the landlord’s tales of when he first met Shane (who else) that had us laughing so enthusiastically – his impression of Shane walking in and giving it “Hi, I’m Shane. I’m from Yorkshire. And I’m gay.” was pretty excellent.

What else happened? Oh the karaoke of course. Heather was great, and a real treat for me to see her in action as she goes on about karaoke quite a lot but I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing her going at it before (urgh). It was brilliant how she seemed able to invoke the interest of the whole of the remaining group, most of us standing around clapping and singing along, and then a few of us spirited into joining in. Phil was absolutely brilliant. Hearing him rage afterwards (and you can see him steadily getting madder as the song progressed) was wonderful, he sung so well and put so much passion into it and still was disappointed in himself – we were witnessing the personality traits of a true musical genius, no doubt. And Stewart was brilliant as well. He had the locals eating out the palm of his hand and it was properly touching to see him burst into the outstretched arms of some random local girl, and then into an embrace with Heather, once he’d finished his song. And when Heather got back on the mic for California Dreamin’, I distinctly remember us all singing along at the tops (and bottoms) of our voices – this properly felt like team karaoke, that wonderful togetherness from a pissed up singalong.

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Heather doing a song out of her mouth.

The other big joy of the night (ok, I’m not including things like “wonderful chats with some great people”, that’s boring) was Jon going on a mission to have his photo taken with as many characters in the pub as possible, largely female. Funnily enough it started with the Rod Stewart lookalike, and from there descending into all sorts of photo-taking fun. Every so often I’d get a tap on the shoulder and I’d turned round to find Corby excitedly hopping from foot to foot, “quick Matt, come and do a photo!” There’s quite a few, as you can see in the Facebook photos, but this was our favourite. Corby will have to let you know if there was any relevance to her being chosen as a subject, but I remember seeing her absolutely scowling at the bar, whilst in conversation with her mates, and then making absolutely zero effort to change her scowl whilst posing with Jon, the obvious comparison with his smirking grin making the photo all that more brilliant.

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A photo (and a face) we would come back to laugh at over and over again.

So yeah, that was the pub. Seems appropriate at this point to make it clear it was just an all round truly fantastic night. I enjoyed the company of everyone very much, all the names that have been heavily mentioned and all those that haven’t. Things like “spending loads of time with Ryan and Matt Bayfield on the quiz machines” doesn’t make for much of an interesting story in this account, but its exclusion gives you no idea just how much I enjoyed myself with them. Same for “discussing the ins and outs of James Robinson’s Countdown experiences with him and Amie”, “enjoying Supee doing her best to force Phil to pay pool”, “great conversations whilst smoking with Jim and Lesley outside”, and so on, ad infinitum. Absolutely nobody disappointed in any way other than perhaps the fact I couldn’t spend more time with them – particularly those fucking idiots that went home early, The Hursts, Amie, Kirk, Tom, etc. Big love for everyone. I think half the reason I’ve drawn out the writing of this account, and made it so long, is that every word just conjures up images and memories of what a fantastic weekend it was, prolonging the joy.

Talking of big love for everyone, none more so than Matt Bayfield at this point. Matt wasn’t drinking as he was driving, yet still ended up staying right to the end where so many who had been drinking had fallen short. Having already driven Supee and Phil home earlier, he returned to the pub to hear the karaoke DJ announced that the landlord had agreed to keep the pub open an hour longer ‘til 2am. You’d forgive him for a deep sigh at this point, dragging out his sober night even longer, but he genuinely appeared to be as happy about it as we were. And when chucking out time finally came, he super kindly offered to give everyone lifts back to the Travelodge. Well, McDonalds. Taking Heather, Jim and Ryan first, me and Jon started walking but it seemed only seconds later Matt was already back and pulling in beside us to pick us up. What a legend. (Although, having seen his recent Facebook photo of his odometer reading “1234567890”, he was probably just trying to rack up extra miles!) We said our goodbyes, and strode into McDonalds where we encountered not only the rest of our group but also some local ginger maniac (Ryan’s dad I think) buying chips, and then sitting in the cordoned-off “we’ve cleaned this bit for the night, thanks” area, only doing it even less gracefully than we had managed the night before. “He comes in here every night like this” was the waitress’s explanation, as Corby leaned in for another photo. Other photos ensued after Corby pestered a small group of dressed-up sluts, and before long we were making our way across the roundabout back to the Travelodge – yet again fucking up the route and finding ourselves navigate over fences and through ditches when it all seemed like it ought to be much simpler.

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Loony McDonalds dude weighs up another portion of chips and thinks about asking for to have his photo taken with the girls...

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...Corby lives out his fantasies for him.

Just outside the reception was an utterly wasted guy, fumbling around trying to get a firm grip on his car keys and let himself into his vehicle, so we did what all good conscientious people should do, and went straight into the reception and took a photo of Jon with his surprisingly-willing but slightly-confused girlfriend who was waiting inside. One more photo with the receptionist, and it was time to retire to our rooms. Too drunk to think practically, Corby, Heather, Ryan and I went off to our rooms, which were in a different corridor to Jim’s, who stumbled (so literally) off to his own parlour, and with no firm plans made for the morning, as I caught the last sight of him going the opposite direction, I had this horrible feeling that I wouldn’t see him again and we’d part without a lovely goodbye, like some kind of fleeting holiday romance. Into bed, straight to sleep. Shitty Travelodge bed sleep again, but sleep nonetheless.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:09 pm

Sunday

Ryan came in to our room quite early to say goodbye. “Odd way of saying goodbye”, I thought to myself, as I cleared up his spunk. I jest. He was off to get a taxi to the train station, so we had a quick chat, hugs, and that was that. Not long later Corby was banging on the door, looking surprisingly spritely (and annoyingly so too, considering how rough I was feeling again). After failing to rouse us, he went off to find Jim, and was soon back at the door accompanied by Mr. Bentley himself, which was lovely considering my late panic the night before that Jim might have gone Travelodge-AWOL. By this point, that’s three apterites who have seen me without a top on, though I think it’s a fair shout they probably would have preferred seeing Heather in similar undress. Oh god, just remembering Ryan playing with my nipple piercing in the pub the night before. Brilliant.

It was almost midday by the time we all had packed up, not showered (in my case anyway, didn’t have one the whole weekend for some reason, absolutely gross), and made our way out into the car park to get inside the Bentleymobile. Considering the massive gulf between Jim and Corby’s awakeness and our bedness earlier in the morning, the two of them had already nipped down to Asda in the car while we were getting up, and on the way scouted out The Centurion, a pub with a far better quiz machine than The Fox & Hounds. This was Good News – our group fears that no Hex would be played had thankfully been allayed.

Me, Corby and Jim ordered a range of lemonades and cokes, leaving Heather to make us all look like utter blouses by ordering up a pint of Stella. We instantly started on the quiz machine, straight onto Hex, and must have embarked at just a few minutes past 12. Heather popped the first quid in, and things just went nuts from there on. It was beautiful to see four minds coming together to solve all sorts of different bits. Me and H taught Jon how good a category American Football is – even when you get one of those enjoyable Hex data entry errors that throws up a joy like NEW YORK GIANTS GIANTS. Corby wowed us with star patterns and planetary moons (occasionally) though the one time we tried it since (“it might be one of the ones Jon showed us like PORTIA” she said) didn’t work out very well at all. Jim popped in with some of the most brilliantly eclectic bits of knowledge ever, at times when the rest of us were totally stumped. And we all learned that HAL LINDEN is left-handed, allegedly. Such a shame as Corby was going to say HAL LINDEN when it first popped up, but he thought he was right-handed.

The quiz machine was in a little cove, and some old men were having a nice Sunday afternoon drink and catching up with each other and the newspapers when we got there. It only took about 20 minutes or so of shouting out letters before they fucked off, leaving us the little area to ourselves. We spread out, me and Heather ordered some life-giving food, and Hex continued. It was all quite wonderful, we did shifts sitting down, shifts standing up, shifts pressing the buttons, and so on. After we’d won a few quid on Hex, we fiddled with some more games. Deal or No Deal absolutely raped us, despite my best efforts at box picking. When we got down to 50p credit for the first time, Heather encouraged me to show off my talents at Bullseye (the straight darts game for quickness, rather than the normal questions game). I busted out a nice 301, impressing Jim and particularly Jon in a way I didn’t quite expect, and took home £2 (the best offer from the prize board) which we rolled back to Hex with.

And so the afternoon carried on really – treating Hex and failing at Deal or No Deal, occasionally playing other less-known games which we were generally successful with, and then everyone time we went back down to 50p or £1, I’d go and win £2 or £3 off of Bullseye. Not going to lie, I felt like such a big man with the respect I was getting for my darts from Corby, lovely stuff! By 1, half 1, I dunno – you lose track of time playing the quizzers, you all know that – Jim dished out the hugs and said the goodbyes and was off, and the quiz team was down to three. Not that that stopped us. The cycle of winning, losing, and recovering continued.

Our train was at 3:08pm from Hykeham, which, conservatively , was a 20 minute stroll from the pub. Pretty lucky I happened to look at my phone at 2:53pm, as it was the first time anyone had taken notice of how late it was getting since about 2. Incredibly, we had been playing for almost three hours solid on the quiz machine off of the same original £1. We’d been up to £6 I think at its peak, but never had to stick more in, and I can safely say it was the most solid and consistent quiz machine playing I have ever seen, or am ever likely to see. Anyway, panic suddenly set in, but we had £1.40 in the bank at this point, and we were in the middle of a game. We lost the game as quickly as possible, but then discovered that due to our most previous win being an odd 90p prize, the money (not just the 90p but the 50p credit we had before) had been thrown into the credit column rather than the bank it should have been in, so we couldn’t take it out! Shocking stuff. We had no choice but to leave the pub instantly, with £1.40 of credit sat idly in the machine. Jesus Christ, I hope we made someone very happy when they found that. It’d be a dream for me to discover that, though judging by the look of the At The Park: CH_VS in the pub I doubt they’d have gotten far with it.

A pacy panic had set about us the moment we realised the time, and that continued as we walked to the station. As soon as we made the right turn from the main Hykeham road onto Station road, we were met with the sight of a much longer road than any of us had anticipated or particularly fancied coping with, with no sign of the railway tracks or buildings even right in the distance. We really strut our stuff, and the only topic of conversation was really how little any of us wanted to be in the situation we had found ourselves in. Half way up the road and we catch sight of the barriers for the level crossing – again, further than expected, but at least at this point we have something to aim for. We’re walking so fast it’s almost a light jog. This doesn’t feel right at all, and I can’t help but be reminded of the sickness I had felt only a day before on the way to the Memorial Hall. I’m just as hungover this time, but don’t have the luxury of a calm pace or a settled nerve. Conversation began to drift to keeping an eye on the barriers, dreading hearing the beeps that signal they will start to lower and beckon in our train. Our train that we cannot miss, that if we did miss would send us into a catatonic mess of domino delays, wasted tickets, wasted time, and wasted money. Heather started speculating about how long the barriers go down for the train near her house at home – “only 14 seconds or so” – and we started wondering how much closer we’d have to get for the barriers to start to drop and for us to still kind of be safe getting to the platform in time. We barely had any time to think, and our worst fears were imagined with the shrill ring of the barrier’s beeping, at a distance none of us were comfortable of our chances at.

Corby immediately sprung into action, setting off with his backpack bobbing up and down like an excited schoolboy. Me and Heather lagged horribly. I know I’m pretty unfit and largely large, but I still consider myself pretty able to run for a short distance when I really need to. Not that day though, not with a heavy backpack full of shit loosely strapped to my back, not with my stomach the way it felt, not with my belt and shoes a little too loosely done up and completely inappropriate for such exercise. That little 45 seconds or whatever of ‘sprinting’ was absolutely horrible. We dodged through the cars that had assembled in a queue by the barrier, and through a gate onto the, thankfully nearside, platform that the train was braking onto. The sight of the lane after the gate, with a high fence blocking us from the platform for another 20 metres or so, was particularly painful, and having been looking forward to being able to relax successfully once we got through the gate, there was a dreadful realisation that we still had a bit more to go. Thankfully the train stopped right at the end of the platform, as had it come to a halt any further up we might not have made it. Though to be fair the sight of two fat loonies puffing and panting their way onto the platform might hopefully have persuaded the conductor to give us an extra 10 seconds leeway, although that could well be expecting too much from the power-loving cunts you tend to find running trains these days.

Jon, having gotten to the platform ten seconds before us, a ten seconds which made all the difference, had been so frivolous as to pass the first set of doors and actually got on the train at the end of the first carriage whilst me and Heather fell into the first door we came to. Catching my breath, I walked through the packed carriage (my mind wasn’t straight at the time but fuck how nice it would have been to actually have a seat after all that!) to meet Jon in the space at the end by the toilets. Heather did her best not to collapse and/or be sick, and buried her head into her hands, supported only by the luggage rack where we’d gotten on. 30 seconds later she found the courage to also make her way down to the two of us where we must have made a right-odd looking set, a mix of red-faced, sweaty, nauseas, and relieved. Man, I felt grim. Don’t forget to add to my hangover and my horribly shaken stomach my complete lack of showers over the weekend, I was dirty and sweaty and hot and sticky and felt so utterly wrong and horrible. Sat in a clumped heap at the end of the carriage, I pulled my hood over my head, faded into a ball of disgustingness and just did my best to block the world out.

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Feeling rough at Newark.

Before long we were at Newark North Gate (one less change on the way back, no need to walk from Newark Castle, which was definitely for the best!) and waiting on the platform with a bunch of other London-bound travellers. There was a distinct air of “ok, weekend’s over, let’s get home now” but thankfully there were yet more treats in store for us. Much of our delight was based around the platform guards, uniquely dressed like I haven’t seen at any station in, well, ever, and with an attitude to customer service equally as unique. First encounter was them telling everyone over the tannoy that the station was of course non-smoking “on all platforms. And that includes platforms 2 and 3.” Haha. Then they pretty much shouted through the PA and told us all to “step back WELL away from the edge of platform 2, the train approaching WILL NOT be stopping” – you know, a fairly normal announcement, but it was just done in a hilarious shouty fashion as if they’d had to deal with people standing really close to the edge all day and were sick of it. We laughed it up with some other members of the crowd – I think we were still a bit drunk from the night before and willingly engaging with anyone who’d listen to us – though to be fair, when the train did come through at approximately eight million miles an hour, we agreed they probably did have a good reason for shouting out the warning.

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Hilarity begins.

Our train turned up five minutes late, and as it pulled in we headed straight to the carriage we had reservations for. The train was packed though, with almost every seat taken, and as such it was taking the people at the door we were trying to get into a long time to filter onto the train, with a big queue forming just inside the door as people fiddled with luggage and tickets and seats. This was simply not good enough for the crazy Newark conductors, who proceeded to shout at us. “Use ALL the doors to get onto the train please. DO NOT just stand there like lemons. Use the OTHER doors NOW.” Not quite sure whether the dude had a loudspeaker, or a walkie talkie that fed into the tannoy system, but Jesus it was loud and scary. I am sure he called us all idiots too. I was so scared I couldn’t help but do what he said and ended up going to the next carriage which didn’t have a queue leaking out the door, just so I could escape his wrath. I really can’t get across how brilliant a moment it was, sorry for the cliché but you had to be there. Once everyone was on the train, packed into the tiny hoarding at the end of the carriage, we were all in tears of laughter, yet another great little bonding bit of hilarity for all the stressed out travellers.

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These funny dudes.

We found our seats, after a few minutes of people milling about and trying to pass each other in the heavily crowded gangways, and unsurprisingly had to wave our reservations around and stake our claim. It was an interesting journey, going from quiet to loud and back again several times, with a little sleep mixed in. The highlight was Heather’s brilliant homemade game of Hex, written on a paper serviette. It was an awesome idea and executed fantastically, complete with a six-live health counter in the top-right corner, all the Hex nuances like BOSTON RED SOX SOX, a bitching three-letter Car Manufacturers round (knew we shouldn’t have picked it) and even a bonus round where we correctly managed to pick Free Letters, which came in useful later in the game. I think we won 4p. We were in tears several times, especially when we lost a life and Heather did her Hex hand, face, and noise. You know, the dude on the game with the teeth who holds his hand in a claw when you win a pound, and makes a hissing noise. It’s properly excellent. Much of the rest of the journey was spent in uncontrollable fits of laughter, talking about classic Countdown and apterous people, all the fun we’d had over the weekend and so on. Genuinely one of the best train journeys anybody has ever had, including you.

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Heather's Homemade Hex. Note the (used) Free Letters in the bottom left!

So that pretty much sums it up. We got back to King’s Cross, helped Jon to work out his tube journey back to Waterloo, and that was that. Hugs were exchanged, right at the bottom of the steps in the way of people trying to get to the westbound Central Line platform – the sort of thing that drives Heather crazy when other people do it haha – and finally it was all over. A truly amazing weekend, and I’ve no doubt really missed out some massively important and brilliant things that happened, but hey, that’s how it works. You can’t fit everything into 8000 words, can you?

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Matt Morrison
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:12 pm

That's your lot guys. Kinda glad Colon 2011 is going to be a one-day tourney again, I shouldn't be able to write quite so much! Looking forward to it very much though, and (did I say this in the report above?) it's kind of a shame that we're in London because the joy of Colin was precisely the fact that we were all there for the weekend and there was no going home at 11pm and stuff, and having to rely on tube times rather than walking, and, well, Matt Bayfield.

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You can see all 177 Colin photos on my Facebook album, this should be a public link that even non-Facebook members can see:
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Joseph Krol
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Joseph Krol » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:31 pm

Thanks for that Matt - nice to see a description from someone else's viewpoint.
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JimBentley
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by JimBentley » Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:11 pm

That was brilliant, Matt. It reminded me of what a fucking fantastic weekend it was and how I can't wait to do it all again with all you lovely people.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Gavin Chipper » Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:55 pm

I can't believe I just read all of that. It was worth the read though.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Bayfield » Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:18 am

Matt, you write well. I love the minutae and attention to seemingly off-topic detail. Worth the wait; absolutely fab to read. Great pics too.

By the way, the "local ginger maniac" sighted at McDonald's had been in the pub with us earlier in the evening. I recall him doing one or two karaoke numbers. (Incidentally, if anyone ever wonders which part of the world is still keeping Meat Loaf's career alive, it might just be North Hykeham.) In his rather inebriated state, ginger maniac also tried to get in my car, thinking I was a taxi driver.

And in case anyone thinks I was having a pop, I actually don't mind Meat Loaf at all. All the Steinman-written stuff is a bit overblown, but that's the point.

[Edit: Symposium in the music-makers round of Heather's Hex? How effing cool is that?! For the youthful exuberance of their music, and the flagrant disregard for their own personal safety at gigs, they used to be one of my favourite bands. Think I have pretty much their entire back catalogue lurking in my collection...]

[Edit 2: I also can't take seriously the category "left-handed actors". I just keep thinking along the same lines as "left-handed websites"...]

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Matt Morrison
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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Matt Morrison » Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:29 am

Fuck I love you guys.

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Re: COLIN 2011 results & feedback

Post by Ben Wilson » Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:16 am

Absolutely awesome write-up Matt. If I'd had the idea for the 'history of COLIN' next year instead of this one, I'd likely have just copy & pasted the whole of that instead of writing anything myself. :) On a related note...
Matt Morrison wrote:The walk home was marked with illegal urination
Jono again, right?

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