c4countdown

Mark Deeks

People who snort when they laugh.

Mark Deeks

(utilising my executive veto)

Mark Deeks

Steven M. McCann wrote:So Culpable Homicide isn't murder? I stand corrected.

Homicide just means you killed someone. Doesn't necessarily mean you meant to.

Mark Deeks

Steven M. McCann wrote:5 years, out in 10 months, they certainly make an example of murderers in South Africa!

He didn't commit murder!

Mark Deeks

I was on stage in my old school assembly hall with Innis Carson, playing the Countdown board game. When it was his deal, he dealt me [don't ask] a hand full of circular pieces of paper about the size of a road tax disc, most of which had the same floral pattern on, interspersed with some important l...

Mark Deeks

Link doesn't work without the http://, so:

https://www.justgiving.com/kirk-bevins/

Mark Deeks

Matt Morrison wrote:my absolutely immediate response was (honestly) to assume it was a chick with a dick.

Graeme Cole wrote:n! = (n+1)!/(n+1)

works for all n >= 0.

Not many forums can make that leap within two posts. Good work team.

Mark Deeks

http://www.elisabethsjoli.com/

Mark Deeks

This certainly isn't the first time. If that's any comfort.

Mark Deeks

I'd prefer just adding an End Round Early feature.

Mark Deeks

PREPASTE is valid in Scrabble, so it wasn't an outlandish shout if Dolly likes her board games.

Mark Deeks

Xylophone?

Mark Deeks

Ian Volante wrote:I was in some random foreign town with my korfball team, but at one point, we were all sat outside a bar, and Mark Deeks was there, and had decided to get the liquid out of a small bottle of gin by making a hole in the bottom of it rather than using the lid. Out of practice I assume.

gaybo

Mark Deeks

Gavin Chipper wrote:That's high treason. I'm mortally offended.

Mark Deeks

Mark Deeks

Mark Deeks · Re: COLIN XI- Countdown in Lincoln, 24-25 January 2015

Mark Deeks

There's no 3 in round 3 yet it's in the solutions twice

Mark Deeks

I wipe down the toilet rim after every single piss if I'm standing up. Do you?

I mean, really, that's proof right there that the world should sit.

Mark Deeks

Good explanation, Conour.

Mark Deeks

I imagine it was very much a coincidence. People food at quizzes tend to be people who go on educational trips.

Mark Deeks

Dude, Oli, don't worry about the unbeaten record. Seriously. You'll always be Oli Garner, Countdown champion. Everything else is profit.

Mark Deeks

You two are so CUTE together! *hugs*

Mark Deeks

Zarte Siempre wrote:Must question though, is that the worst conundrum scramble in history?

http://wiki.apterous.org/Episode_589

Mark Deeks

Hey, if you guys want me to piss all over your bathrooms, I'll do it for you. I'm a giving kind of guy.

Mark Deeks

Callum Todd looks like a young Ted Bundy.

Mark Deeks

That was pretty much your reaction at the time, too.

Mark Deeks

Jim Bentley had a cameo in this dream but I can't remember where.

Mark Deeks

Had a really long and complex dream involving many recurring themes I have in my dreams all rolled into one. Those themes include you Countdown weirdos, train tracks (the repeated crossing of which apparently represents crossroads in one's life), and, for some reason, snooker. I really wish I could ...

Mark Deeks

You pretty much did just mention it.

Mark Deeks

Allow me to be the only dissenting opinion on number 1. I don't have much basis to back this up with. I just would find it a bit unsavoury.

Mark Deeks

Would you be OK with me sitting down to wee as long as I'm reading your book in the process, then?

Mark Deeks

No, I'm still fat and lazy. I'll just have to retire from arrowords.

Mark Deeks

Again, you can't miss when you're sitting down. You'd be a ruddy fool to miss when standing up, sure, but the risk is nil when seated. Nil. You can only miss if you do so on purpose. Even if you're drunk or high, as I know you often are. Right, well, time for me to swallow a little pride here. I wa...

Mark Deeks

That's possibly the first Apto dream you've had that didn't have me in it, you creepy stalker you.

Mark Deeks

Maybe not then.

Mark Deeks

I'm actually in Hatfield (next door to Snallbans) that night, so I might stop in for a pint if not the game. What's the approximate end time?

Mark Deeks

Italy and Uruguay should have beaten Costa Rica themselves.

Mark Deeks

How is it disrespectful?

Mark Deeks

Eh, they're our national identity. Counts for something. Americas is their military so I'd rather have ours.

Mark Deeks

Detective Sergeant Louise Bentley, from the Child Abuse Investigation Team at Bury, said: [...] “As an experienced former teacher and middle-aged man I find such sentiments to be insulting to the victim and others in the profession.

Louise Bentley has lived a full life.

Mark Deeks

My things were all positive, except the roads. Sarcasm, binge drinking, mindless violence and teenage pregnancy are par for the course when Mark Deeks is in town. This competitive anagrammer knows how to have a good time.

Mark Deeks

Binge drinking, casual racism dressed up as jingoism, occasional mindless violence, the unshakable belief that this country is permanently "going to the dogs" yet everywhere else is worse, unnecessarily narrow roads, pessimism, sarcasm, knife crime and teenage pregnancy. Woop! http://farm5...

Mark Deeks

I still absolutely do not understand all those who say that England should save all their fast players for the last 20 minutes. It's their greatest advantage and we want to limit its usage to a fraction of the game? That's like being the world's greatest six small player but only using it once. Stup...

Mark Deeks

Good effort, Mark.

Mark Deeks

People who stand up to urinate. Especially women.

Mark Deeks

People who say 'no pun intended' when they absofreakinglutely intended it, to the point that they only said what they said so that they could get the pun in. Own your stupidity.

Mark Deeks

Somebody watch this show and monitor this man's urinatory habits. If he sits down to go, we'll know who it is, and I'll know how much I can respect him.

Mark Deeks

I do like the Britney style mikes. They add some showbiz flair. Maybe Countdown could have them. Not so sure about the audience-behind-the-game shots, though.

Mark Deeks

Also, Merv Hughes looks different.

Mark Deeks

That in-round music is ridiculous.

Mark Deeks

[...] Cut, then, to a hotel lobby in Las Vegas, where seemingly I have flown to drown my sorrows. I am getting increasingly agitated because my luggage has not turned up; it is particularly aggravating as I am in a hurry to get to my room, because I know for a fact that a threesome awaits me there....

Mark Deeks

Presumably you are short enough and/or have such a ginormous whopper of a beast that your junk is pretty close to the toilet at all times. However, for the larger, choaded man *looks around awkwardly* there is quite the gap between lickstick and lavatory. To the naturally risk averse amongst us, you...

Mark Deeks

I read the other day that the best way to keep your continence when you're old is to, when you're young and/or middle aged, consciously stop yourself midstream a few times every time. It toughens up the prostate muscle and gives you a better chance of holding it in down the road. This is way easier ...

Mark Deeks

People who eat really really strong cheese. Congratulations, you just ate an inedible substance that smells like badger carcass and mould. Well done on being an idiot.

Mark Deeks

Can't believe he volunteered like that. Cheers Graeme, you're the best.

Mark Deeks

Sally Gunnell has been our joke "we can't even think of a guess" joke answer at quizzes for years now. And it SO NEARLY finally paid dividends right here. Amazing coincidence it was even close.

That said....Jessica Ennis?

Mark Deeks

Roger Black

Mark Deeks

Sally Gunnell?

Mark Deeks

Mark James wrote:People who go to pubs but don't drink. Would you go to brothel to read a book?

You wouldn't say that to my face. Even though you pretty much just did.

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