c4countdown

Matt Morrison

Ah, you can do that with SUBSTITUTE. I needed SUMPRODUCT around the maths though. =IF(LEN(D3)=9,IF(AND(SUMPRODUCT(LEN(D3) - LEN(SUBSTITUTE(D3,{"A","E","I","O","U"},"")))>1,SUMPRODUCT(LEN(D3) - LEN(SUBSTITUTE(D3,{"A","E","I","O","U"},"")))<6),IF(COUNTIF(B3:B7,LEFT(D3,1)),"V","C")&IF(COUNTIF(B3:B7,MID...

Matt Morrison

Think I got it son. =IF(LEN(D3)=9,IF(AND(LEN(D3) - LEN(SUBSTITUTE(SUBSTITUTE(SUBSTITUTE(SUBSTITUTE(SUBSTITUTE(D3,"A",""),"E",""),"I",""),"O",""),"U",""))>1,LEN(D3) - LEN(SUBSTITUTE(SUBSTITUTE(SUBSTITUTE(SUBSTITUTE(SUBSTITUTE(D3,"A",""),"E",""),"I",""),"O",""),"U",""))<6),IF(COUNTIF(B3:B7,LEFT(D3,1))...

Matt Morrison

Bit of an aside, but did some Excellery last night and came up with this horrendous formula: =IF(OR(LEFT(A1,1)="A",LEFT(A1,1)="E",LEFT(A1,1)="I",LEFT(A1,1)="O",LEFT(A1,1)="U"),"V","C")&IF(OR(MID(A1, 2, 1)="A", MID(A1, 2, 1)="E", MID(A1, 2, 1)="I", MID(A1, 2, 1)="O", MID(A1, 2, 1)="U"), "V", "C")&IF...

Matt Morrison

Bowling shoes are awesome in that they are designed to help you play the game properly and reduce injury. They weren't just designed to personally annoy Gevin. (That's just a happy coincidence). They allow for a degree of sliding that regular footwear doesn't and you don't want to scuff up the thro...

Matt Morrison

Bowling alleys haven't made you use their shoes for, I dunno, a long time. You just wear your own, as you're in flats.

That said, I still get bowling shoes because they are absolutely awesome.

Matt Morrison

Fiona T wrote: ↑
Mon Jun 22, 2020 2:53 pm
Most of you can ignore, but the software folks amongst you might appreciate this - I think we all have a duty to name our kids in a way to give us as much work as possible!

https://stackoverflow.com/questions/445 ... onscript-3

Ha!

Matt Morrison

Codewords I've always called those ones (your enigma code)

Matt Morrison

We've also talked about "text" a lot. I mean, I say "I fucking text you Gevin you prick". But then I am a bit common. However I don't go as far as to say "I sent you a texted", and that is a thing. Not sure of my point, but I love bringing up the "texted" thing. Yeah, there's a whole thread on this...

Matt Morrison

There are some fucking NAMES in this thread. And I am still bewildered that you old OLD people think "texted" sounds ok.

Matt Morrison

...they'll write (and say) "Dave Edwards' nose" rather than "Dave Edwards's nose". Even worse is when they do it with a name that ends in an s but isn't even like a plural... I found this mental. I think in my whole time I've never met someone who considers "Edwards" as a surname to be a bunch of E...

Matt Morrison

We've also talked about "text" a lot. I mean, I say "I fucking text you Gevin you prick". But then I am a bit common.
However I don't go as far as to say "I sent you a texted", and that is a thing. Not sure of my point, but I love bringing up the "texted" thing.

Matt Morrison

Thanks Gevin. You made it a lot more SFW than I was planning to.

Matt Morrison

You're wrong about pizza being like other foods Gevin. I think "hot cheese and sauce sliding unexpectedly off a pizza" and "hot filling bursting out from biting into a pop tart" are literally the two go-to examples of shocking food-based burning.

Matt Morrison

There is a reasonable temperature difference between what can be eaten with your fingers versus utensils This is what I would dispute. It's all about what's too hot to put in your mouth. Your mouth is more sensitive than your hands to overly hot food. No-one find themselves in a situation where the...

Matt Morrison

Gevin : food is hotter to the touch than to the mouth How come I can comfortably hold a slice of pizza in my hand yet it burns my mouth when I try to take a bite? Yeah I'm not sure if Marc is totally wrong or not (my original inclination was that he is) but definitely the pizza example is terrible ...

Matt Morrison

For and hose with young children it's a feff to cool their dinners down at mealtimes , usually fanning a newspaper works But as most people don't buy newspapers now my idea is to have a dome over the dish and a device to create a vacuum inside the dome thus cooling the food Or a can of co2 maybe Yo...

Matt Morrison

here Chuckled when I read the opening line, and then looked down to realise I'd already been there 3 and a half years ago. Clicked the link and laughed again, before remembering I'd only clicked the link to remind myself why I'd laughed again when I made the comment after clicking it on and laughin...

Matt Morrison

But yeah, I'm not sure where the original discussion has gone? It's funny how the brain works. I 100% thought it was on C4C and it was Kate Richardson.

Matt Morrison

Top work Gevin. Thanks for the love on the GRAB.

Matt Morrison

If you go to https://youtube.com./ (note the .) then you'll get a totally ad-free YouTube experience (well, until they cotton on and stop this working of course). e.g. https://www.youtube.com./watch?v=no1vf854aUc The . at the end of a host name is ignored by DNS servers, so youtube.com. resolves to ...

Matt Morrison

That's amazing that Phil did that. What a man. Much love as ever to him and Supee.

Matt Morrison

It's exactly as good as I think it is.

Matt Morrison

Matt Morrison

did you just watch the video of yourself doing the run before? if so how are you going to improve your own time?

Matt Morrison

Gevin, you should shout at more people. For SURE.

Matt Morrison

Just dropping in to say great work Noel. What age do you teach? I admit I only flicked through the assembly with the Stranger Things intro (I mean I watched all the intros but only flicked through that one completely) but mostly it seemed very fun rather than learny!

Matt Morrison

I reckon she still wakes up bolt upright in the middle of the night, sweating, and thinking of you trying to get into her.

Matt Morrison

Haha. I'm not at all surprised this is the sort of stuff that keeps you up at night.

How wide was the pavement? Was there grass on the other side of it, a wall, or what? Could you absolutely not have walked around the gathering children and absolutely definitely weren't making some kind of point?

Matt Morrison

hahaha

Matt Morrison

That's a shame.

Matt Morrison

I certainly wouldn't have you on my table.

Matt Morrison

If you go to about 19:30 in this episode of Trust Me, I'm a Doctor , all forms of poncy salt are revealed to be joke items. Too lazy to click but i'm talking more about texture than anything - you, like the fucking prick you are, seem to think that powdered stuff is better because (scientific or ot...

Matt Morrison

Ah, so it's the electric aspect of grinders. Gotcha. Yeah we have had an electric pepper grinder temporarily in the past but, aside from the battery life you point out, I prefer the manual feel of grinding. And the goddamn noise. I'm actually in the market for a new salt and pepper grinder set as on...

Matt Morrison

Haha this is amazing. It would be nice if you arranged everyone by percentage too.

Matt Morrison

Hang on, I'm confused. Is there an issue with salt grinders in general? The use of the word "mechanical" somehow puts me on edge and makes me think you might be talking about a particularly special kind of salt grinder. Because yes, freshly ground rock salt is an entirely different thing to powdered...

Matt Morrison

aLSO YOU LOOk cooler with an analogue

Matt Morrison

Matt Morrison

I remember when Gevin first started counting, I think I was about 6000 ahead of him or something. The little prick must be so proud of himself now.

Matt Morrison

I donate money. And close the curtains when all the neighbours do the fucking clapping.

Matt Morrison

Weren't they all sex offenders?

Matt Morrison

Third season of A Touch of Cloth, six years too late. Brilliant as ever. Stonkingly silly.

Matt Morrison

Matt Morrison

Series 3 of Ozark and Don't F**k With Cats (the asterisks are the proper fucking title, not me being a dick obviously).

Matt Morrison

You're biased as fuck because you love exercising. Spare a thought for people who like being social and people who like touching stuff.

Matt Morrison

lol this fucking place man

Matt Morrison

100% Callum Todd. He fucked the system by cheating on Apterous to make his opponents think he was way better than he was, intidimidating them into underperforming just enough so that he could narrowly beat them as his true (still quite good) self. Shove that up your apto arses This is going straigh...

Matt Morrison

Will pay, there on the day

Matt Morrison

Mark me down is coming

Matt Morrison

Martin Peters wrote: ↑
Mon Mar 02, 2020 2:49 pm
Such as Dancing On Ice with H and Matt.

When did I... I don't remember this at all.

Matt Morrison

I would like it if someone screamed to buzz

Matt Morrison

I find it really strange - but maybe I shouldn't - that Robbo's tweet got covered by at least two news sources, with links, yet the tweet still has absolutely no likes or retweets, and just one comment (someone telling him it isn't funny). Mad disparity.

Matt Morrison

Marc Meakin wrote: ↑
Tue Feb 04, 2020 11:03 am

Matt Morrison wrote: ↑
Mon Feb 03, 2020 9:55 pm
the outsider
Good ?

absolutely. tense, creepy, slightly scary, exciting. not sure what's going to happen. highly recommended so far.

Matt Morrison

Jon O'Neill wrote: ↑
Tue Feb 04, 2020 11:50 am
Good personal hygiene should be required.
Not washing hands after going to the toilet is a bannable offence.

From personal experience (of watching other men very carefully in the toilets), the numbers at Colin would be decimated. And at the Fox & Hounds afterwards, the dirty locals.

Matt Morrison

the outsider

Matt Morrison

Torn about the 9 vs 15 final. Pros and cons to both for sure, but I'm fairly confident it's not a definitely bad thing. Does it make for a better result? Probably - more likely the best player wins after 15 than after 9, 9 round finals so often end in a conundrum race. Does it make for a better fina...

Matt Morrison

ah yeh that rings one

Matt Morrison

I feel like this has been discussed before, but has anyone done countdown on mastermind?

Matt Morrison

I feel a bit like living in London is cheating as I've had quite a lot of walked past/cycled past/saw on the tube encounters with celebrities of various stature, which I can try and recall but I suspect you're not that interested in. A really shit celebrity spot would be Big Brother 16 contestant Aa...

Matt Morrison

so if it was sunday you would think "this Monday" was 6 days ago?

Matt Morrison

this monday is the next monday to exist not including today if today is a monday. sometimes next monday can be this monday.

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