c4countdown

Mark Deeks

I don't know if this counts as minor, but - hospital staff having to pay for parking and canteen food. Ridiculous. Is this more just that they don't get paid enough in general? Other than that, it could just as well apply to other jobs. I hold them in a much higher regard than other jobs and they s...

Mark Deeks

Trump also a good candidate.

Mark Deeks

I'm thinking reciprocation, yes.

Mark Deeks

I don't know if this counts as minor, but - hospital staff having to pay for parking and canteen food. Ridiculous.

Mark Deeks

Who do you reckon has looked the most different people in the eyes, in person, however fleetingly?.I reckon it's either the Pope or Mick Jagger.

Mark Deeks

Dikembe Mutombo. By far the tallest person I have ever played Jenga with.

Mark Deeks

Why are coffee machines so fucking loud?

Mark Deeks

When lawnmowers started to have GPS fitted.

Mark Deeks

Dual carriageways have traffic jams at junctions more frequently. Motorways are supposed to not have them at all. The massive increase in vehicle traffic since the motorway network was designed and built has kind of knackered that a bit, but that was the idea, and big junctions are a part of that tr...

Mark Deeks

On one of my shows, the final numbers game went unsolved. I got it during the outro, and mentioned it to her as we were leaving the set. She said "ah FUCK sake." Felt a little bad.

Mark Deeks

Occam's razor my dude. Everyone involved in the product says she doesn't get fed answers, and you're finding conspiratorial thinking as to why she might sometimes miss them, rather than the obvious answer that she misses them sometimes because she doesn't get fed answers. It really is no deeper than...

Mark Deeks

The daddy long legs thing, while a myth, isn't entirely off base. Daddy long legses are venomous but unable to penetrate human skin. HOWEVER. Those are the American daddy longlegses. They use the word for something different over there. The cellar spiders. The British daddy longlegseseses (crane fli...

Mark Deeks

I also get into these cycles of saying the same thing over and over again. Not just in the sense that I only have about three jokes, but I mean, literally repeating things to myself dozens of times, because it feels nice. Just now in the kitchen for example, I got stuck on saying "welcome to th...

Mark Deeks

Obviously I realise this question is posed to a room full of Countdowners, so try to limit yourself to only your top 50 or 60 hang-ups. I get a bit funny about kettles. I distinctly remember when I was young that on one of my Sooty tapes, Matthew Corbett was adamant about the dangers of mixing water...

Mark Deeks

Maybe. Wouldn't the emitting of the loud laughing noise kinda undercut that impulse to avoid detection, though?

Mark Deeks

When I'm proper laughing - the full beans, the can't-breathe laugh, the Graeme Cole level - I throw myself to the floor. I don't just fall there from lack of breath; I seem to instinctively jump down to it, through some weird impulse. Does anyone else do the same, and perhaps have some idea as to why?

Mark Deeks

"Ok so there's a massive problem with the finances. Should we blame the people whose fault it is?"

"No no, let's take the hit for this one and ruin our own momentum."

This new Labour lot might not be too good at politicking, time will tell, but there's no way they're that bad.

Mark Deeks

If Labour knew how bad the finances were, and decided to NOT CAMPAIGN AROUND THAT, they're mad. It seems more likely that they genuinely didn't know.

Mark Deeks

I know this doesn't help with the stereotype, one born out of jingoism and/or racism that I would hate to help perpetuate, but the Turkish barbers next to where I used to work was totally a dealer. Solid hair cuts too, something for everyone, but it was a known fact. The students would buy from ther...

Mark Deeks

I really don't care which spoon is for what item, and nor should anyone.

Mark Deeks

In the era before the ubiquity of internet commerce, where did people buy those giant scissors for cutting ribbons to open new hospitals?

Mark Deeks

Tubed last night for the first time in a million years or so and there was a guy banging out blues riffs at Piccadilly Circus. Though I do agree with Gavin Chipper that they do seem to be rarer.

Mark Deeks

On the same day that my new book came out, Ben Wilson came round my mum's house and painstakingly pointed out every single error.

Mark Deeks

Why do car boots take place so bloody early? Just passed a sign for one that said 7am to 12pm. Well then I'm not bloody going to your bloody thing, am I? Why can't they be like 9-3?

Mark Deeks

Sure, the timing is weird. But that's all it is.

Mark Deeks

Hell of a low percentage way to do it. If the Mafia organisation that is Hewlett Packard really wanted to kill two dudes, it would be easier and far less peripheral-damagey to do than this.

Mark Deeks

Macaulay Culkin legally changed his middle to Macaulay Culkin, so his full name is now Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin. Your mate could do something similar. Michael Michael Paulsmate.

Mark Deeks

Those of you that drive - do you also have recurring dreams about speed cameras going off even when you weren't speeding, or cars that never stand completely still no matter how hard you moosh the brakes, or is it just me? I have lots of horrible driving dreams. Sometimes I'm driving but I'm in the...

Mark Deeks

Those of you that drive - do you also have recurring dreams about speed cameras going off even when you weren't speeding, or cars that never stand completely still no matter how hard you moosh the brakes, or is it just me?

Mark Deeks

My friend married someone with exactly the same name.

Mark Deeks

Of all the human behaviours I don't understand, not putting the shopping trolley back is one of the most baffling. Why wouldn't you put the trolley back? Not only is it the right thing to do, since you made the mess in the first place, but also, you get to do that thing where you put one trolley in ...

Mark Deeks

I'm teettoal and you're talking out of your arse. (Sorry, but, I actually am.)

Mark Deeks

Does anyone else regularly do just one hiccup, on its own? And if so, do you also find that your mouth seems to open especially for the occasion, no matter how shut it was before?

Mark Deeks

The way 100 metre sprinters try to make it look like they're not trying hard.

Mark Deeks

That Lyn Scully one has landed weird. If THAT generation is going, then that leaves us next.

Mark Deeks

Glen Webb was very upset to have missed the football the other day.

Mark Deeks

So, that day last year when it got to like 42 degrees - how? It's not like the sun got any nearer. I don't understand weather.

Mark Deeks

That would be some serious commitment to winning the game, you'd have to respect that.

Mark Deeks

Disgusted to discover that Elliott Mellor tried to assassinate Donald Trump.

Mark Deeks

Marc, dude, don't do this. It wasn't staged or managed. It happened.

Mark Deeks

Facebook Marketplace:

"Hey, is this still available?"
"no sorry"

Take the listing down then, Janet.

Mark Deeks

Who paid cowboys?

Mark Deeks

The football terraces song "You're shit, and you know you are" uses the melody from Go West.

Mark Deeks

I'm surprised replays have survived this long since penalty shootouts were invented in the 1970s. Surely there are enough headaches involved in organising the FA Cup without giving every match a second "maybe" match, which nobody knows whether it will be played or not until after the firs...

Mark Deeks

There's an H in pirana somewhere but God knows where.

Mark Deeks

Fortunately I use a nonce password

(hehe)

Mark Deeks

Is there a brand of phone that gives off sparks when you're using it?

There used to be. Those old Nokia 3210s we all had could spark out of the charging ports. I think the rule is just a legacy thing now.

Mark Deeks

Adam S Latchford wrote: ↑Tue Mar 12, 2024 8:33 am Iron man belt for most consecutive events made in a row - surrendered as soon as one missed

Well that's not going to work, because they won't be there to hand the belt on.

Mark Deeks

Matt Morrison was worried that his beard had started to turn Uncle Albert-white. Rather than comfort him, I made it worse by pointing out the visible streak of piss that ran through it.

Mark Deeks

What's so iconic about the Abbey Road album cover? It's just some people walking.

Mark Deeks

Why are cash points so determined to have you look at your balance these days?

Mark Deeks

What the hell problem was the penny farthing trying to solve?

Mark Deeks

Marc Meakin wrote: ↑Fri Feb 23, 2024 5:18 am Plus I can't fathom a group of men wanting to leeri at naked women in the 21st Century

Of course you can. Leering is eternal. It's not the leering that is illogical. It's the very being there. You're paying for what, exactly? Like Other Mark says.

Mark Deeks

Probably not that unpopular within the unrepresentative population sample that is the C4C community, but in the eider world, it seems to be: I, a straight and reasonably normally libidoed man even with the sertraline, have absolutely no desire to go to a strip club

Mark Deeks

The Trojan War didn't actually happen.

Mark Deeks

What's that whole thing about when your ear goes PING and then you're deaf for a few seconds?

Mark Deeks

It's probably disingenuous for someone who wasn't at an event to give feedback on it, but: the Fox and Hounds was always integral to my Co:Lin experience. The way that 35 or so people who would never otherwise go to the pub together, would go to the pub together, get embroiled in the world's longest...

Mark Deeks

Plural of that, I guess.

Mark Deeks

The band Simple Minds were actually a duet of a cat suit-wearing Jim Carrey and a moustachioed Carl Williams.

Mark Deeks

Sure, but that's privatised industry for you.

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